JokoJokes

Napkins With Jokes

77 napkins with jokes and hilarious napkins with puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about napkins with that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Napkins With Short Jokes

Short napkins with jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The napkins with humour may include short napkin jokes also.

  1. Sometimes i just sit & run my fingers thru my wife's hair. It's a nice way to tell her i love her.
    And also that we're outta napkins.
  2. I love running my fingers through my wife's hair. It's a nice way to remind her that I love her, and also that we're out of napkins.
  3. Do you know what you get when you tie two Communist table napkins together? A Serviette Union
  4. Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girlfriends hair... It's a nice to let her know I love her, but more importantly that we're out of napkins.
  5. From my 4 year old: "Dad, i just realized why these things are called nappies..." " ...because its like a napkin for your pee, so its called na-pee!"
    (proud dad moment)
  6. Pirate walks into a bar... Bartender says, "Is that a napkin on your head?"
    Pirate replies " No, it be a bounty".
  7. Dating tip: Pull out her chair at dinner and whisper, "That's not the only thing I'll be pulling out tonight." Then pull out her napkin like a true gentleman.
    (doesn't work at Mc Donalds)
  8. Living in Greece.. Living in "Greece " now is like being a Sanitary Napkin.
    You're in the most beautiful place but in a bad period..!!
  9. With all the missing paper towels and napkins everywhere... You could say that right now, I'm a Bounty hunter
  10. I like my women how I like my... Napkins. One. Forever.
    Credit to my friend. We we're eating at Freebirds.

Share These Napkins With Jokes With Friends




Napkins With One Liners

Which napkins with one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with napkins with? I can suggest the ones about wallpaper with and bookmarks with.

  1. Customer: What do you have with no fat and no sugar?
    Waitress: Napkins..
  2. What do you call a tissue that is sleeping? A napkin
  3. What do you call a Communist Country who mass produces napkins? The Serviette Union
  4. What is "relative to a short sleep?" A napkin.

    Sorry.
  5. What do you call a sleepy relative? A napkin
  6. Paper towels? OH! You mean napkins on the cob?
  7. Which former European state exported mainly napkins? The Serviette Union
  8. What do you get when paper towels fall asleep? Napkins!
  9. what do you called a insomniac's family tree Napkin
  10. What do you call your family after they fall sleep? Napkins
  11. What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user? Napkin.
  12. If tampons are "sanitary napkins"... ...how unsanitary must regular napkins be?
  13. Picasso greatly influenced sanitary napkin commercials. He also had a blue period.
  14. What do you call a tired tumblrina? A nap-kin.
  15. What's the difference between Lapis Lazuli and napkins? Napkins are always F R E E

Napkins With Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about napkins with you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paper towels jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make napkins with pranks.

Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire s**... blood from a sanitary napkin.

Parenting is filled with wonder. Like wondering why your 4 years old raced into the kitchen and quietly grabbed a handful of napkins.

Topical Jokes (5/21)

Here we are, once again. It's time for some laugh-words.
First up, we've got some big movie news. "Transformers 4" is now updating its cast. To appeal more to the US box office, the evil Decepticons will be played by menacing vending machines that won't let go of your Doritos.
More movie news, the trailer for the new "X-Men" flick shows that Wolverine will potentially face grave injury. The harrowing injury comes about when our hero forgets to retract his claws before wiping.
This is a cool story, a US Airways flight safely made a belly landing at Newark Airport. The plane was evidently taken down by heavy turbulence originating from Governor Christie's farts at a nearby Long John Silver's.
TV news, ESPN has been forced to take major layoffs and budget cuts. You can tell things are getting cheap as now the only athletic event they now can afford to cover is Tiger Woods dodging heels thrown by his exes.
In the political sector, Vice President Biden recently ribbed the president for always using a teleprompter. However, nobody seemed to ridicule Biden when he read his recent speech on healthcare reform off the back of a h**... napkin.
And finally, the new Xbox will utilize "the cloud" - so no matter where you are in the world, at any time, you can look up the fact that you lost a brave Call of Duty battle to a 13 year-old user named "GeneralFatPenis69".
Thanks for reading again, folks. I really appreciate it!

I have the punchline, can't remember the joke.

My father used to tell a joke, that involved the guy talking to a priest or therapist, and he is worried about a reoccurring dream that involves him having s**... with a chicken (can't remember who was doing what with who). It ends with the teller blowing a ripped up napkin all over the table.
Any help?

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

What do you call a long napkin?

A deep sleep-kin

A boy in kindergarten has to use the restroom, but the men's room is locked...

So his mother tells her son that it's alright to use the women's room this once, because they are single rooms that lock from the inside. The boy comes out a minute later and asks his mother for a quarter. The mother asks what he needs a quarter for, to which he replies:
"Apparently, mom, napkins cost 25 cents in women's restrooms."

A man took a woman out for dinner...

but she didn't speak a word of English. They were having a great time, though, feeding each other, flirting, touching and giggling. After the meal is over, the woman draws a picture of a bed on a napkin and gives a sly wink. The man still can't figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.
The comments in another thread were slamming Readers Digest jokes, and that's where this one came from.

Where do shooting napkins come from?

The Serviette Union

A guy sits down at the bar and orders a Martini with two olives...

bartender gives him the drink, he takes out the two olives, puts them aside on a napkin, drinks the martini, asks for another. By the fourth Martini with two olives, the bartender asks the man "I don't mind, but I gotta ask....why do you ask for a Martini with two olives, then take the two olives out of it?" the man replies "My wife sent me to the store for a jar of olives but the store was closed."

GREATEST PUN EVER: What do you call a sleeping person's family members?

Napkins.
...
...
*Napkins*

I identify with sleeping...

Yeah, I'm a nap-kin.

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

I should make a blanket that looks like a paper towel.

I'll call it a napkin.

What happened to the guy that started his own business selling items like his used napkins, dirty clothes and dead skin cells?

He became a wealthy Entropy-neur...
...I'll see myself out

The woman in the store

A woman walks into a store. Billy the clerk and the manager are talking away, and the woman asks the clerk where some stuff is.
Woman: "Excuse me sir, do you know where the Kleenex, toilet paper, ear cleaners, napkins, and tampons are?
The manager replies with, "Dear Lord Billy, help her! She's leaking from every hole!"

I was in class today and asked a friend if I could have a bite of her cookie...

She took the napkin it was on, folded it over to gather all the crumbs, counted out 8 crumbs, handed them over and said,
"no, but you can have 8 bits."

Why does chipotle stuff so many napkins in your bag?

they know you'll run out of toilet paper.

Bros, friends, amigos... If she gives you this for her address, just go ahead and move on. Toss that cocktail napkin away. Move on. THere's other fish in the sea. (feel free to add to the list)

• Drinkand Dr.
• Vicious Circle
• West 943,185th Street
• Psycho Path
• Peoples Ct.
• Nofriggin Way

Two cannibals are eating a lawyer. One turns to the other and says...

Pass me the napkins. This one is really greasy.

What happens when you pour RedBull on a sanitary napkin?

You get a lot of wings.

What did the sanitary napkin say to the f**...?

You are the wind beneath my wings.

My napkins are l**... are quite useful

You could say they come in handy

What do you call a Russian napkin?

A so-viet

A man walks into a buffet...

He puts a sausage on his plate, and his German friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, he adds a slice of pizza to his plate, and his Italian friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, the man has an incredible urge to sneeze. He reaches for a napkin and raises it up, and his French friend says "now you're speaking my language!".

Make-up...

The awkward moment when you can wipe out 95% of her beauty with a wet napkin

I used to work in a napkin factory in Russia...

I was in The Serviette Union.

Whats the best pickup line ever?

"Hey, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?"

I saw some people building a new bridge near me. Every lunch break they would sit down for afternoon tea complete with tablecloth and napkins.

It was very civil engineering.

What do you call the best friend of a nap?

A napkin.

What do you call a sleeping paper towel?

A napkin.

I went to this really cool restaurant where they gave out free bandanas with the meals

My girlfriend didn't like it though. She kept saying stuff like, "You're embarrassing me" and "Please take that napkin off your head."

A walruses car broke down.

While waiting for the mechanic to troubleshoot the problem he decided to walk to the ice cream parlor. He ordered a vanilla ice cream cone and ate it while walking back to the car shop. As he finished the last bite he realized he forgot to grab a napkin. As he desperately tried to clean his very sticky face and hands the mechanic step out of the garage. Looks like you blew a seal the mechanic said. No the walrus replied it's just ice cream .

My son, 9 years old told me these jokes on different days and I wrote them all down as he told them.

What did the the dancer say when he found proof:
he found evi-dance
What did the lazy person buy at the store?
A Nap-kin
What is a goldfishes favorite story?
Goldilocks
What did the musician say when he was safe?
I'm safe and SOUND.
What do butts like to push best?
b**...
What dinosaur make the best music?
Rap-tors
What does pizza hate to get?
Pizzeria

Calculus walks into a bar.

He sits down and orders a pint. The barman notices him scribbling some notes on a napkin and asks what he's writing.
Calculus replies, "Oh this... I'm just working on a new formula..."
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." says the barman, "I can't let you drink and derive".

After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to use the rest room.

Since he didn't want anyone to take his shake, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, "The world's strongest weight lifter," and left it under his glass.
When he returned from making his pit stop, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with a note that said
"Thanks for the treat!" It was signed, "The world's fastest runner."

My Daughters Dad Joke this morning

Ran through a drive up this morning before school.
As we are pulling away from the window, she looks in the bag.
Dad you should see this! It's beautiful, the hashbrowns are stacked side by side, the sandwiches are perfectly wrapped, and the napkins are placed so they won't get oily...I am not sure who did this, but they should be awarded the Nobel Grease Prize.
She looked at me with a sly smile and I told her...I saw what you did there. We both laughed.
A great dad joke from a 10 yr old.