Napkin Jokes
36 napkin jokes and hilarious napkin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about napkin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Whoever said napkin jokes were old-fashioned? This article is sure to freshen up your bar napkin, handkerchief, towel or even your cafe napkin with some funny jokes! Discover some hilarious one-liners that will make everyone laugh out loud.
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Funniest Napkin Short Jokes
Short napkin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The napkin humour may include short handkerchief jokes also.
- Sometimes i just sit & run my fingers thru my wife's hair. It's a nice way to tell her i love her.
And also that we're outta napkins. - I love running my fingers through my wife's hair. It's a nice way to remind her that I love her, and also that we're out of napkins.
- Do you know what you get when you tie two Communist table napkins together? A Serviette Union
- Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girlfriends hair... It's a nice to let her know I love her, but more importantly that we're out of napkins.
- From my 4 year old: "Dad, i just realized why these things are called nappies..." " ...because its like a napkin for your pee, so its called na-pee!"
(proud dad moment) - Pirate walks into a bar... Bartender says, "Is that a napkin on your head?"
Pirate replies " No, it be a bounty". - Dating tip: Pull out her chair at dinner and whisper, "That's not the only thing I'll be pulling out tonight." Then pull out her napkin like a true gentleman.
(doesn't work at Mc Donalds) - Living in Greece.. Living in "Greece " now is like being a Sanitary Napkin.
You're in the most beautiful place but in a bad period..!! - With all the missing paper towels and napkins everywhere... You could say that right now, I'm a Bounty hunter
- I like my women how I like my... Napkins. One. Forever.
Credit to my friend. We we're eating at Freebirds.
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Napkin One Liners
Which napkin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with napkin? I can suggest the ones about towel and bath towel.
- Customer: What do you have with no fat and no sugar?
Waitress: Napkins.. - What do you call a tissue that is sleeping? A napkin
- What do you call a Communist Country who mass produces napkins? The Serviette Union
- What is "relative to a short sleep?" A napkin.
Sorry. - What do you call a sleepy relative? A napkin
- Paper towels? OH! You mean napkins on the cob?
- Which former European state exported mainly napkins? The Serviette Union
- What do you get when paper towels fall asleep? Napkins!
- what do you called a insomniac's family tree Napkin
- What do you call your family after they fall sleep? Napkins
- What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user? Napkin.
- If tampons are "sanitary napkins"... ...how unsanitary must regular napkins be?
- Picasso greatly influenced sanitary napkin commercials. He also had a blue period.
- What do you call a tired tumblrina? A nap-kin.
- What's the difference between Lapis Lazuli and napkins? Napkins are always F R E E
The Funniest Napkin Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about napkin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paper towels jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make napkin pranks.
A guy sits down at the bar and orders a Martini with two olives...
bartender gives him the drink, he takes out the two olives, puts them aside on a napkin, drinks the martini, asks for another. By the fourth Martini with two olives, the bartender asks the man "I don't mind, but I gotta ask....why do you ask for a Martini with two olives, then take the two olives out of it?" the man replies "My wife sent me to the store for a jar of olives but the store was closed."
A man walks into a buffet...
He puts a sausage on his plate, and his German friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, he adds a slice of pizza to his plate, and his Italian friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, the man has an incredible urge to sneeze. He reaches for a napkin and raises it up, and his French friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
I went to this really cool restaurant where they gave out free bandanas with the meals
My girlfriend didn't like it though. She kept saying stuff like, "You're embarrassing me" and "Please take that napkin off your head."
A man took a woman out for dinner...
but she didn't speak a word of English. They were having a great time, though, feeding each other, flirting, touching and giggling. After the meal is over, the woman draws a picture of a bed on a napkin and gives a sly wink. The man still can't figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.
The comments in another thread were slamming Readers Digest jokes, and that's where this one came from.
I have the punchline, can't remember the joke.
My father used to tell a joke, that involved the guy talking to a priest or therapist, and he is worried about a reoccurring dream that involves him having s**... with a chicken (can't remember who was doing what with who). It ends with the teller blowing a ripped up napkin all over the table.
Any help?
Calculus walks into a bar.
He sits down and orders a pint. The barman notices him scribbling some notes on a napkin and asks what he's writing.
Calculus replies, "Oh this... I'm just working on a new formula..."
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." says the barman, "I can't let you drink and derive".
After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to use the rest room.
Since he didn't want anyone to take his shake, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, "The world's strongest weight lifter," and left it under his glass.
When he returned from making his pit stop, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with a note that said
"Thanks for the treat!" It was signed, "The world's fastest runner."
A walruses car broke down.
While waiting for the mechanic to troubleshoot the problem he decided to walk to the ice cream parlor. He ordered a vanilla ice cream cone and ate it while walking back to the car shop. As he finished the last bite he realized he forgot to grab a napkin. As he desperately tried to clean his very sticky face and hands the mechanic step out of the garage. Looks like you blew a seal the mechanic said. No the walrus replied it's just ice cream .
I was in class today and asked a friend if I could have a bite of her cookie...
She took the napkin it was on, folded it over to gather all the crumbs, counted out 8 crumbs, handed them over and said,
"no, but you can have 8 bits."
Bros, friends, amigos... If she gives you this for her address, just go ahead and move on. Toss that cocktail napkin away. Move on. THere's other fish in the sea. (feel free to add to the list)
• Drinkand Dr.
• Vicious Circle
• West 943,185th Street
• Psycho Path
• Peoples Ct.
• Nofriggin Way
My son, 9 years old told me these jokes on different days and I wrote them all down as he told them.
What did the the dancer say when he found proof:
he found evi-dance
What did the lazy person buy at the store?
A Nap-kin
What is a goldfishes favorite story?
Goldilocks
What did the musician say when he was safe?
I'm safe and SOUND.
What do butts like to push best?
b**...
What dinosaur make the best music?
Rap-tors
What does pizza hate to get?
Pizzeria
