The Best 25 Napkin Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Napkin jokes. There are some napkin stirs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these napkin sips puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Napkin Jokes and Puns

A guy sits down at the bar and orders a Martini with two olives...

bartender gives him the drink, he takes out the two olives, puts them aside on a napkin, drinks the martini, asks for another. By the fourth Martini with two olives, the bartender asks the man "I don't mind, but I gotta ask....why do you ask for a Martini with two olives, then take the two olives out of it?" the man replies "My wife sent me to the store for a jar of olives but the store was closed."

What do you call a tissue that is sleeping?

A napkin

A man walks into a buffet...

He puts a sausage on his plate, and his German friend says "now you're speaking my language!".

Then, he adds a slice of pizza to his plate, and his Italian friend says "now you're speaking my language!".

Then, the man has an incredible urge to sneeze. He reaches for a napkin and raises it up, and his French friend says "now you're speaking my language!".

Napkin joke, A man walks into a buffet...

I went to this really cool restaurant where they gave out free bandanas with the meals

My girlfriend didn't like it though. She kept saying stuff like, "You're embarrassing me" and "Please take that napkin off your head."

A man took a woman out for dinner...

but she didn't speak a word of English. They were having a great time, though, feeding each other, flirting, touching and giggling. After the meal is over, the woman draws a picture of a bed on a napkin and gives a sly wink. The man still can't figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.

The comments in another thread were slamming Readers Digest jokes, and that's where this one came from.


I have the punchline, can't remember the joke.

My father used to tell a joke, that involved the guy talking to a priest or therapist, and he is worried about a reoccurring dream that involves him having sex with a chicken (can't remember who was doing what with who). It ends with the teller blowing a ripped up napkin all over the table.

Any help?

Calculus walks into a bar.

He sits down and orders a pint. The barman notices him scribbling some notes on a napkin and asks what he's writing.

Calculus replies, "Oh this... I'm just working on a new formula..."

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." says the barman, "I can't let you drink and derive".

Napkin joke, Calculus walks into a bar.

A walruses car broke down.

While waiting for the mechanic to troubleshoot the problem he decided to walk to the ice cream parlor. He ordered a vanilla ice cream cone and ate it while walking back to the car shop. As he finished the last bite he realized he forgot to grab a napkin. As he desperately tried to clean his very sticky face and hands the mechanic step out of the garage. Looks like you blew a seal the mechanic said. No the walrus replied it's just ice cream .

I was in class today and asked a friend if I could have a bite of her cookie...

She took the napkin it was on, folded it over to gather all the crumbs, counted out 8 crumbs, handed them over and said,

"no, but you can have 8 bits."

From my 4 year old: "Dad, i just realized why these things are called nappies..."

" ...because its like a napkin for your pee, so its called na-pee!"

(proud dad moment)

Pirate walks into a bar...

Bartender says, "Is that a napkin on your head?"

Pirate replies " No, it be a bounty".

You can explore napkin caf reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean napkin washcloth dad jokes. There are also napkin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Dating tip:

Pull out her chair at dinner and whisper, "That's not the only thing I'll be pulling out tonight." Then pull out her napkin like a true gentleman.
(doesn't work at Mc Donalds)

Bros, friends, amigos... If she gives you this for her address, just go ahead and move on. Toss that cocktail napkin away. Move on. THere's other fish in the sea. (feel free to add to the list)

• Drinkand Dr.

• Vicious Circle

• West 943,185th Street

• Psycho Path

• Peoples Ct.

• Nofriggin Way

Living in Greece..

Living in "Greece " now is like being a Sanitary Napkin.

You're in the most beautiful place but in a bad period..!!

My son, 9 years old told me these jokes on different days and I wrote them all down as he told them.

What did the the dancer say when he found proof:

he found evi-dance

What did the lazy person buy at the store?

A Nap-kin

What is a goldfishes favorite story?

Goldilocks

What did the musician say when he was safe?

I'm safe and SOUND.

What do butts like to push best?

Buttons

What dinosaur make the best music?
Rap-tors

What does pizza hate to get?

Pizzeria

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Napkin joke, What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Picasso greatly influenced sanitary napkin commercials.

He also had a blue period.

What do you call a tired tumblrina?

A nap-kin.

What do you call a Russian napkin?

A so-viet


What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart?

You are the wind beneath my wings.

What do you call a sleeping paper towel?

A napkin.

What do you call the best friend of a nap?

A napkin.

Whats the best pickup line ever?

"Hey, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?"

I used to work in a napkin factory in Russia...

I was in The Serviette Union.

I should make a blanket that looks like a paper towel.

I'll call it a napkin.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the napkin hazelnut jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working napkin paws piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes