Nap Time Jokes
25 nap time jokes and hilarious nap time puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nap time that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Nap Time Short Jokes
Short nap time jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nap time humour may include short bed time jokes also.
- Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
- A cat can read the hands of a clock to know when it's nap time. It's nap time when the hours-hand is shorter than the minutes-hand.
- Spike from the Land Before Time movies is the best character ever! Literally in the first 30 seconds after hatching he yawns, eats an entire bush, and takes a nap, he's like me on valentines day.
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Nap Time One Liners
Which nap time one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nap time? I can suggest the ones about bedtime and fall asleep.
- If a child refuses to sleep during nap time... are they guilty of resisting a rest?
- LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out... You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older.
- There was a kidnapping at my son's school.. Then nap time ended.
- My cousin got sent to jail It was our nap time and he was resisting a-rest
- Ugh, who has time to work out?... I say before a 45 minute nap.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
The Funniest Nap Time Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about nap time you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fell asleep jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nap time pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was this girl I liked in kindergarten..
One day it was nap time and I gained enough nerve to sleep next to her. She didn't do anything. The next day at nap time I decided to kiss her on the forehead and sleep under her blanket. Again, she didn't do anything The next day at nap time I put my b**... on her face. Let's just say that's the end of my teaching career.
Five Things
Here are the five best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk at work: 5) "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 4) "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to." 3) "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time." 2) "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" And the number one best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: 1) Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, amen."
I tried to translate a joke
General ordered soldier to catch a rabbit and make a soup while he is taking a nap. When he woke up he see a bowl of soup on table. Amused General asked soldier how did you catch rabbit in that short time?
Soldier replied I saw a rabbit running around and shot it immediately, it didn't even have a chance to meow
Did you hear about that kidnapping at school yesterday?
It's okay, they woke up!
But honestly, these schools are getting real serious about nap times.
A kid was recently detained for resisting a rest!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three year old goes to prison.
A police officer was investigating a noise complaint coming from a daycare in downtown Detroit. The officer realized that it was just a three year old kid k**... and screaming because he didn't want to nap during nap time. The officer charged the child with resisting a rest, and took him to prison.
My High School had a nap time class
It was great, every day it was so refreshing to get some sleep after lunch. But in order to get the class approved by the school district it had to have an official sounding name. So the school called it Math.
Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade
Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade. The teacher asks each student to say their name.
Johnny replies, "my name is Johnny Fuckhour".
The teacher immediately scolds him and tells him that such language will not be tolerated.
"But that's my name," he protests. "If you don't believe me, go ask my brother in the fifth grade."
So the teacher marches him over to the fifth grade classroom and asks the fifth grade teacher, "do you have a Fuckhour in here?"
One of the students replies, "oh, no, we don't even have a nap time."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The epic journey of the s**... cell
Once upon a time, a brand new s**... cell was being instructed by an older s**... cell.
"Right," he said, "this is what's going to happen: one day you'll be having a nap and you'll hear a siren. You rush out as fast as can, make absolutely sure you swim as hard as you can, because you HAVE to be first! You'll enter a long, wet pink tunnel, and you have to swim right to the end. When you get to the end, you'll see a round red ball. You say to the ball: 'Hi, I'm a s**... cell,' and the round red ball will say: 'Hi, I'm an egg cell,' and then the miracle of conception will occur."
"Don't worry sir," said the new s**... cell, "I won't let you down!"
A little while later, the new s**... cell is having a nap and he hears the siren!
Fast as lightning, he dashes off, swimming as fast as can. He enters the wet pink tunnel, looks behind himself and sees other s**... cells catching up to him, so he swims even faster! Furthur into the pink tunnel he swims, till he looks behind and realises he's first!
Finally, after he thinks he can't carry on any longer, he sees the round red ball.
"Yes," he cries out, "I've made it! Hi, I'm a s**... cell."
The round red ball turns to him and says: "Hi, I'm a tonsil."
Signs You're No Longer in College...
You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close.
Your potted plants stay alive.
You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill.
Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces.
You attend parties that the police don't raid.
You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking.
You refer to college students as "those kids."
You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza.
At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out.
Naps are no longer weekday options.
Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy.
Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips.
You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from
boasting to Manny about his s**... endurance.
"Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy."
Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap.
When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again.
Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening."
So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep.
He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him.
"What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once.
You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?"
"What twenty minutes?" growled the boss.
"Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"