Nap Jokes
124 nap jokes and hilarious nap puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nap that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a way to make naps more fun? Look no further than these hilarious nap jokes! From dog naps to cat naps, these jokes highlight the best and worst aspects of taking a nap. Learn why you should never wake an old man who has slept in, and find out what happens when you are too tired to sleep. Get ready to laugh and get ready for your next nap!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Nap Short Jokes
Short nap jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nap humour may include short slept jokes also.
- Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
- Did you hear about the crematorium employee who took a nap on a gurney during his break? He got fired for sleeping on the job.
- A dear friend of mine passed away this week. This was one of his jokes: What do you call half of a thousand native American insomniacs? The Indian nap-less 500.
- I just burned 2,000 calories in a few hours. That's the last time I take a nap while baking brownies.
- Are you feeling sluggish and tired? Constantly yawning throughout your day? There's a nap for that!
- Today morgue employee got cremated by mistake while taking a nap... I guess two people got fired that day!
- I just burned 3,000 calories!! My fault for leaving my brownies in the oven while I took a nap though.
- How did the summer solstice break a world record? It went the longest day without taking a nap!
- A mother called the police on her 6 month old baby for not taking a nap. He was resisting a rest.
- I used to take naps on a bike until someone stole the tires They really messed with my sleep cycle.
Share These Nap Jokes With Friends
Nap One Liners
Which nap one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nap? I can suggest the ones about tired and awoke.
- I burned 2000 calories today. Last time I take a nap with brownies in the oven.
- If a child refuses to sleep during nap time... are they guilty of resisting a rest?
- What is it called when a kid refuses to sleep during nap time? Resisting a rest.
- Tired? There's a nap for that
- A guy was thrown into the jail for refusing to take a nap He was resisting a rest
- When kids don't want to take a nap, can they be charged with resisting a rest?
- I've stopped having naps on a Sunday afternoon. Naps are for the weak. Not the weekend.
- A cop once told me to take a nap... I wasn't tired, so I got jailed for resisting a rest.
- Why was the child's blanket arrested? For being an accessory to a kid napping.
- The problem is I'm really tired... But I hear there's a nap for that.
- Regular naps prevent ageing Especially if taken while driving
- I tried to find an anagram for "napping idiots." The result was disappointing.
- I am rebranding computers' energy saving mode It's a power nap.
- Why did the bicycle need a nap? Because he was two tired!
- If a child resists to take a nap is he resisting a rest?
Nap Time Jokes
Here is a list of funny nap time jokes and even better nap time puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out... You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older.
- There was a kidnapping at my son's school.. Then nap time ended.
- My cousin got sent to jail It was our nap time and he was resisting a-rest
- A cat can read the hands of a clock to know when it's nap time. It's nap time when the hours-hand is shorter than the minutes-hand.
- Spike from the Land Before Time movies is the best character ever! Literally in the first 30 seconds after hatching he yawns, eats an entire bush, and takes a nap, he's like me on valentines day.
- My toddler was arrested today at kindergarten during nap time. He was charged with resisting a rest.
- Ugh, who has time to work out?... I say before a 45 minute nap.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Afternoon Nap Jokes
Here is a list of funny afternoon nap jokes and even better afternoon nap puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A schmooze.... ...what Sean Connery calls an afternoon nap
- You know that feeling you get in the middle of the afternoon when you're really sleepy and tired.. There's a nap for that
- Spanish? Feel tired in the afternoons? There's a nap for that.
Cat Nap Jokes
Here is a list of funny cat nap jokes and even better cat nap puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I have have developed cat-like reflexes. By which I mean an irresistible urge to curl up and nap on any freshly made bed.
- Cats don't need smart phones to solve their problems, they just sleep until the problem solves itself. Cats: There's a nap for that.
Cheerful Fun Nap Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about nap you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean asleep jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nap pranks.
There was this girl I liked in kindergarten..
One day it was nap time and I gained enough nerve to sleep next to her. She didn't do anything. The next day at nap time I decided to kiss her on the forehead and sleep under her blanket. Again, she didn't do anything The next day at nap time I put my b**... on her face. Let's just say that's the end of my teaching career.
A Woman Who Reads
One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, drops anchor and begins to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies.
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with s**... assault,"says the woman.
"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.
Moral of this story: Never argue with a woman who reads. It is likely she can also think.
A squirrel in the refrigerator
A man comes home after a hard day's work and opens the refrigerator
to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap.
What are you doing in my fridge? the man asks.
The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, Isn't this a Westinghouse?
Um, yes, the man replies. It is.
Well then, the squirrel says, shutting his eyes again, I am twying to west.
I got arrested today - apparently it's "i**..." to shave, brush your teeth, make a phonecall, take a nap, have a glass of wine and read a newspaper.
Driving s**... nowdays.
In a stunning case some call an a**... of power, a local police officer charged his own son with a crime, simply because the kid wouldn't lay down for his nap
The officer said the boy was resisting a rest.
Five Things
Here are the five best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk at work: 5) "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 4) "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to." 3) "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time." 2) "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" And the number one best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: 1) Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, amen."
Are you ready kids? AYE AYE CAPTAIN! I can't hear youuuu! AYE AYE CAPTAIN! Ohhhhhh, who lives with a GPA under a C?
CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS
Who's living with stress induced anxiety? CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS!
If wanting to drop out is something you wish...CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS
Then take a long nap and watch some Netflix!
COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEEEEGGEEEEE STUUUDEEEEEEEENTSSSSSS!
There was a kidnapping in my neighborhood.
After about half an hour of nap, the kid woke up and went to play.
Yesterday I saw a little kid who kept refusing to go home for a nap.
He was resisting a rest.
I tried to translate a joke
General ordered soldier to catch a rabbit and make a soup while he is taking a nap. When he woke up he see a bowl of soup on table. Amused General asked soldier how did you catch rabbit in that short time?
Soldier replied I saw a rabbit running around and shot it immediately, it didn't even have a chance to meow
I told my son if he didn't take a nap I would have the cops put him in jail. . .
For resisting a rest.
If a child refuses a nap
are they resisting arrest?
After the CO2 molecule left the car, it immediately took a nap
it was exhausted
Julius Caesar famously had a quick nap before crossing the Rubicon
the rest is history
How do you wake lady gaga up from a nap?
You poke her face
Did you hear about that kidnapping at school yesterday?
It's okay, they woke up!
But honestly, these schools are getting real serious about nap times.
A kid was recently detained for resisting a rest!
My cop husband was trying to put our toddler down for a nap, but she wouldn't stop running around the house.
He finally picks her up, throws her over his shoulder, and yells stop resisting a rest!
A wife and husband are going on a road trip
After a few hours, the wife decides thay she is tired
Wife: Y'know honey, i think i might take a nap
The husband gives her a nod, and after putting her chair into a comfortable position for sleeping, she dozes off
A while later, she wakes up,and notices that they are completely off road and in some place she doesn't recognize
Wife: Where the h**... are we!
Husband: I dont know, i just woke up Too
Little Jimmy was sleeping in class when...
The teacher saw him dozing off and interrupted his nap.
He said in a stern tone: "Jimmy, you know you can't sleep in class."
Jimmy retorted: "Yeah, but if you were a little quieter I could."
sleepy from being on your phone too much?
there's a nap for that
Three year old goes to prison.
A police officer was investigating a noise complaint coming from a daycare in downtown Detroit. The officer realized that it was just a three year old kid k**... and screaming because he didn't want to nap during nap time. The officer charged the child with resisting a rest, and took him to prison.
What do you call a man taking a nap?
Himalayan
One day, Billy was playing at home with some matches.
Even though his mother had told him not to. He accidentally set the house on fire, and he and his mother fled outside. As the house was burning down, his enraged mother said,
"Boy, your dad is going to s**... you when he gets home".
But Billy just laughed; he knew his dad had come home early for a nap.
What do you call a nap in computer science class?
A CS-ta
Why did the tree take a nap?
For rest
A drug addict, a man taking a nap, and Donald Trump.
What are a user, a snoozer, and a sore loser.
Did you hear about the guy from jail who was refusing a nap?
He was resisting arrest.
When you decide to take a small nap..
And wake up three days later in the hospital, because you were driving your car..
A communist tells his friend before going to bed, "I'm going to take a nap."
He wakes up as a libertarian.
Is anyone else tired of all of the commentary telling what is and isn't a dad joke?
Then you should go take a nap.
Why couldn't the police officer take a nap?
Because he needed an a-rest warrant first.
Hitting the snooze button...
... Is just starting your day off with a nap.
A farmer was taking a nap under grains and was arrested for perjury
For lying under oats
Why was the baby sent to jail after refusing to take a nap?
Because he was resisting a-rest.
My wife hears "laurel" and I hear "yanny."
Which makes sense, because when she says "do the dishes," I hear "take a nap."
My wife got so mad at me yesterday just for taking a nap
I mean she acts like we weren't buckled in
What do you call a male cow who is taking a nap?
A bull dozer
What do you call a family that likes to sleep?
Nap Kin!
Just took a nap in the dumpster.
No hobo.
I am so tired I need to take a sodium phosphide
A NaP
My girlfriend told me she was going to rub one out then take a nap
But she fell asleep beforehand
"911, what's your emergency?"
Hi i need to report a kidnapping.
My son is taking a nap in my room right now.
I took a nap at 1:59AM and woke up at 3:00AM
Felt like I just blinked
If a child refuses to take a nap
Is he resisting arrest?
So I'm a Camp Counselor taking a short nap at work....
And I'm laying my head on my backpack. One of campers says "What're you doing?"
I reply. "Taking a nap on my pillow."
She says, "That's not a pillow."
I respond, "Anythings a pillow, if you put your mind to it."
Best part about watching golf
Is taking a nap and having people clap and cheer for you
Taking a nap is like s**........
It's never as good as you had hoped for but better than nothing.
I called my friend at 2 in the afternoon and...
he answered the phone groggily, so I asked if he was sleeping. He said "uhhh, yes and no". So I asked if he was taking a Schrodinger's Cat nap. *crickets*
How to be Productive:
1.) Make a list
2.) Cross off the first thing on your list
3.) Reward yourself with a nap
What do you call it when sodium and potassium surges the electron transport chain?
A deep nap
What is it called when a programmer takes a nap?
A CS-ta
Why can't Anarcho-Capitalists sleep at night?
Because they NAP all day.
An older female friend just got back from a trip home to the Netherlands, and all she brought me was this nap sack.
What a Dutch bag.
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
Really puts the "nap" in "kidnap".
Unable to fall asleep all night from browsing on your iPhone?
There's a nap for that.
I just burned 2000 calories.
I'll never again leave my brownies in the oven while I nap.
My High School had a nap time class
It was great, every day it was so refreshing to get some sleep after lunch. But in order to get the class approved by the school district it had to have an official sounding name. So the school called it Math.
Did you hear about the Crematorium worker who took a nap in one of the body bins?
He was exhausted.
I told my dad I felt tired.
"There's a nap for that."
