Naming Jokes

128 naming jokes and hilarious naming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about naming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Learn the origins and meanings of naming jokes involving bort and russ, and how they can be used at naming ceremonies. Explore the connection between naming ceremonies and jokes, and how these cultural traditions passed through generations. Get insights into the origins of naming jokes, as well as suggestions for how to use them in your own naming ceremonies.

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Funniest Naming Short Jokes

Short naming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The naming humour may include short name calling jokes also.

  1. Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction, and name it ElonGates.
  2. Did you hear about the drummer who gave all his daughters the same name? Anna 1
    Anna 2
    Anna 3
    Anna 4
  3. I wrote the names of everyone I've unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint. Now he's high on my list of people I never want to see again.
  4. Me: My name is Matt, and I'm an alcoholic. AAA: This is AAA, not AA.
    Me: Yeah, I was just explaining how my car got in the lake.
  5. The women I meet in bars have the WORST pickup line... They're like, "Hey, what's your friends name?" Never works on me ladies.
  6. Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
    * "Because your other dad loves roses"
    * "Thanks dad"
    * "No problem, Richard"
  7. I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, and my roommate used it to roll his joint. He is now high on my list of people I never wanna see again.
  8. Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".

    "Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".

    "Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".
  9. If I ever go to prison, I'm gonna change my name to mitochondria... I want everyone to know I'm the powerhouse of the cell.
  10. Did you hear of the man with the same first and last name? It was a Nguyen, Nguyen situation.

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Naming One Liners

Which naming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with naming? I can suggest the ones about changing name and named.

  1. Did you know that Stephen King has a son named joe? I'm not joking, but he is
  2. "What are the broken condoms doing on the couch?!" "Our children have names, Harold!"
  3. I named my kid Bob Ross He was a happy little accident.
  4. Did you hear about the Irishman who was impervious to bullets? His name was Rick O'Shea
  5. I bet you can't name a useless, non functioning member of society. My parents did.
  6. I buy my guns from a guy named T-Rex He's a small arms dealer.
  7. I got a pet newt, and I named him Tiny Because he's my newt
  8. My parents named me after my older brother. And before my younger brother.
  9. I named my eraser confidence... Because it gets smaller with every mistake I make
  10. What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard? a new last name
  11. Name one superhero that can beat Captain America... Captain vietnam
  12. My grandma is 80% Irish. Her name is Iris.
  13. How Long is a chinese name. It's not a question.
  14. What is the scientific name for anti-vaxxers during a pandemic? The control group.
  15. Step 1: Be named Muhammed. Step 2: Get some followers. Step 3: Prophet.

Baby Naming Jokes

Here is a list of funny baby naming jokes and even better baby naming puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want... But that child is going straight to the top...
    And slightly to the left...
  • Mr and Mrs Lee unexpectedly had their baby early So they named him SUDDEN LEE
  • So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby... My name, address and telephone number.

  • Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment.
    We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed.
  • Tip: Call your baby a normal name Me: Are you still mad your parents called you tip?
  • Everyone is going crazy over that Kim and Kanye named their baby "North West" I believe she's going straight to the top... And slightly to the left
  • I told my pregnant wife that everything is going to change after this baby is born. Like my name, address, phone number.
  • A Chinese baby was born way too early.. So, his parents named him Sudden Lee.
  • So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we were having a baby For instance, my name, address, telephone number..
  • Having a baby So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we were having a baby. For instance: my name, my address. telephone number.

Naming Dogs Jokes

Here is a list of funny naming dogs jokes and even better naming dogs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I named my dog "5 miles." So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
  • My neighbor has two German Shepards that he has named "Rolex" and "Timex".... They're watch dogs
  • My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex They're his watch dogs
  • I named my dog WiFi Because I stole it from my neighbor
  • I used to have a dog with no legs named Cigarette And every now and again I would take him out for a drag.
  • "What are your dogs names ?" "Calvin and Klein"
    "Like the underwear?"
    "They are boxers."
  • My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it. Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.
  • I bought two Rottweilers and named them Rolex and Omega They're watch dogs...
  • When I get a dog, I am going to name him Franz Ferdinand So I can take him out
    (I tried)
  • So I was doing donuts in my car.. And a cop pulls me over. Now I know what you're thinking, who names their dog Donuts?
Naming joke, So I was doing donuts in my car..

Naming Ceremony Jokes

Here is a list of funny naming ceremony jokes and even better naming ceremony puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the name of the ceremony where really prideful Hebrews get circumcised? The Hu-Bris
  • During the Oscar Ceremony While awarding the Oscar the anchorman suddenly f**... and Orlando Bloom had thought that his name was announced as the winner
Naming joke, During the Oscar Ceremony

Giggle-Inducing Naming Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about naming you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean name dropping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make naming pranks.

Did you hear Ben and j**...'s are naming a flavor in honor of j**... Sandusky?

They are calling it Raspberry Turnover

Dinosaurs naming their non-hetero children.

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Denise and WHAT?!

A woman falls into a coma as she is giving birth. When she wakes up a few weeks later, the doctor greets her with some news.
"Congratulations! You had twins; a boy and a girl. Since you were in a coma, we gave your brother the liberty of naming your children."
"What did he name them?" she worriedly asked, "he isn't very bright!"
"Your daughter is Denise," replied the doctor.
Slightly relieved she says, "That's not so bad! And the boy?"

The Naming of Canada

When Sir John A. McDonald and his cronies were trying to figure out a new name for our (soon-to-be) great country, someone had a (typically Canadian) idea:
"Let's put all the letters into a hat and draw three of them.
That will be the new name of this place ..."
So they did ...
The first letter is pulled, and our hero shouts - "C" eh!?
The second letter is pulled, and our hero shouts - "N" eh!?
The third letter is pulled, and our hero shouts - "D" eh!?

Why should you name your son Jackson?

Because naming him Jacksoff would be embarrassing.

My friend just brought home five new chickens for her chicken coop, and asked for suggestions for naming them...

I suggested "breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch and supper..."

A man is waiting in the doctor's office...

When the doctor comes in and says, "There's good news and there's bad news concerning your health. Which would you like to hear first?"
"Give me the good news first." Replies the patient.
"Well, the good news is we're naming a disease after you."

I thought about getting two pets and naming them One and Two.

So when One dies, I'll still have Two.

Dog names

A guy asked his blonde friend, What are the names of your dogs?
The she responded that one was named Rolex and the other Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Helloooooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."

A programming joke

There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and

I'm starting a new abortion clinic and naming it...

Scrambled Eggs.

The two hardest things in programming?

Naming things, caching things and off-by-one errors!

['90s] Did you hear McDonalds just bought the naming rights to that new hockey stadium?

They're calling it the Mac-Arena.

Canine Names

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"

A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...

She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."

I saw a billboard the other day for a sports team called the Chicago Fire.

it made me wonder just how long it takes before you can name a team after a tragedy.
it'd be like naming a football team "the New York Jets."

I took my skateboard around my friend's house.

"Wanna see me kickflip?" I asked.
"No..." he sighed.
He really regrets naming his dog "Flip".

Adele's album naming convention ...

... Is getting old

Kim Khardasian and Kanye West named their children North West and Saint West. But to prove I'm a worse parent...

I plan on naming my children...Kim Khardashian and Kanye West

So I'm opening a soup-based s**... club

I'm thinking about naming it "The Brothel"

Hillary Clinton has become so famous that they started naming footwear after her

They call it the flip flop

The Bad News...

A man goes to the clinic for an examination. After a thorough check up, the doctor tells him, "I have some good news and some bad news." Curious, the man asks what the good news is, and the doctor replies, "the good news is: we're naming a new disease after you..."

There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science

0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors

I'm naming my new exercise regime 'Brexit'.

It's the quickest way to lose pounds.

Strange trend at my office...

People are naming food in the break room refrigerator. Today I ate a sandwich named "Kevin".

There's a strange new trend in my office...

People have started naming food in the office fridge
Today I ate a turkey sandwich called Kevin.

I said Hi to a girl and she replied "I have a boyfriend"...

"And I have a math test", I told her. "What?", she replied, "What does that have to do with anything?".
"Oh", I said, "I thought we were both naming things we would cheat on."

There's nothing wrong with naming your son Marco....

Until you lose him at the park one day.

People in my office have this strange habit of naming their food...

Yesterday, I had a sandwich named "Michael".

I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity.

I'm starting to regret naming my dog that.

Dumbo is an unusual nickname for an Elephant

But I guess naming my son Elephant wasn't very conventional either

Next Sunday is the "Feast of the Circumcision"...

...the service that celebrates the circumcision and naming of Jesus Christ. As the organist, perhaps I should play "O Sacred Head, Now Wounded."

Son: Dad, why is my sister's name Florence?

Dad: Because we conceived her in Florence, Italy.
Son: I guess that's a nice way of naming your kids.
Dad: Yeah, Backseat, it is.

Air Hostess with a tag.

Air Hostess had name tag on her chest, naming her Mia.
Guy: Beautiful name.
Air hostess: Thanks.
Guy: Didn't you name the other one?

I'm naming my next dog dumpster.

Come dumpster! Cmere boy!

I'm thinking about starting up my own brand and naming it Gametes...

Because s**... cells.

I was thinking of naming my children similar names..

But I didn't want them to be the same, so I named my first son Geoff and my second son Jeff.

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.
"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.
The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"
The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."
Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"

Considering the names of other similar sports...

somebody really dropped the ball when naming rugby.

The naming of my children

Yesterday, my eldest daughter asked me,"Father, why is my name Rose?". I explain to her it was because a rose petal landed on her head as she was birthed on our patio. Curious, my middle child asked me,"Father, why is my name Lily?". I explain to her it was because when she was birthed a lily flower petal fell onto her head after it blew in through a window. My youngest grunted,"Raaghhrgh?". I reply,"Quiet down now Cinderblock we already fed you!".

Naming a child

I took more time to name my first Wi-Fi than my first child.

The two most difficult things in programming...

The two most difficult things in programming are memory management, naming things, and off by one errors.

Naming hurricanes after women makes the most sense.

They start off wet but when they leave they take your house and car with them.

If I ever get a Chia Pet

I'm naming it Hairy Pottery.

Did you hear that Dollar Tree is opening a store in the U.K?

They're naming it p**....

My first Wi-Fi...

I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.

I let my brother name my twins.

He did fine with my daughter, Denise. But my son may never forgive him for naming him Denephew.

They left the naming the animals to a couple bros.

They got to the last striped horse,
What letters next man?
Z bruh.

I tried to ask out a hot girl yesterday, but she said she had a boyfriend...

I said I had a math test.
She was a bit confused, so I said "I thought we were naming things we could cheat on."

I tried asking a hot girl out yesterday...

She said she had a boyfriend.
I said I had a math test.
Puzzled, she asked what I meant
I responded "I thought we were naming things to cheat on!"

I have two boys, 5 and 6.

We're no good at naming things in our house.

What's the good part about Naming your child?

That you don't have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.

I used to have a job naming medicines, but I quit after a few days.

I got sick of smacking my head against a computer keyboard.

This is odd. People started naming their food in the office fridge.

Today I ate a sandwich named Linda..

In the beginning of time

Adam was taking a n**... stroll through the Garden of Edan, naming the animals. He found a large creature with a long nose and big ears. He said "I think I'll call you Elephant." The elephant replied "How do you breathe through that thing?!"

Me and my twin sister are named Luna and Selena

Our parents are lunatics for naming us that way.

If the baby is a girl we're naming her Mary...

If the baby is a black I'm killing my wife.

There was a guy who was terrible at naming thing ...

His dog was named dog, his cat was named cat and so on. One day, the man's sister was having twins and in a long family tradition, the babies uncle had to chose the names. Absolutely mortified, the twin girl and boy were born and it was time;
What did you choose for the girl?
Oh man, that's not so bad. What did you choose for the boy?

There naming our school after h**...

We complained of course, but then they said "no no no he's the good one, he's the one that killed h**..."

I regret naming my daughter Alexa because of the popularity of the Amazon Echo. So we decided to change her name to something that will never be a popular word.

We're trying to pick between Cortana and Bixby

I got fired for naming my invention the Direct Interface for Long-Distance Observation.

The boss accused my team of pulling it out of an unauthorised Acronym Synthesis Service.

Doctor: So do you want the good news, or the bad news?

Patient: Um, the good news I guess.
Doctor: Well we're naming a disease after you!

Did anyone else hear about the Vatican naming swiss as the official cheese for christianity?

Yea that's right, it's the holiest of cheeses.

Just thought of a physics joke in class

One day, Newton adopts a dog to play catch with his apple, naming it Theta. Busy with writing the *Principia*, Newton doesn't notice that Theta has been p**... all over the lawn. When he finally steps outside and sees the mess, he energetically graps his shovel and gets to work.
A visitor asked the neighbor, "Why is the lawn all messed up?", and the neighbor replied, "Oh, Newton's just expending energy. He's madcos(θ).
(Kinetic Energy=Fdcos(θ))

The military has announced they are going to bomb Syria off the map.

They are naming the bombs "Son of Sam" and "Jack the Ripper."
They're Syria killers.

Apple needs to come up with a new creative naming scheme for their products...

You know what iMean?

Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea

Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.

There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Oh and weird concurrency bugs.
Oh and weird concurrency bugs.

I've got two little boys, six and four.

I was never any good at naming things

The naming of Canada

Long ago, in a stuffy statehouse, a group of men, living in the northern part of the North American Continent sat around thinking of what to name their new country.
Man 1: So, I don't wanna be stepping on any toes here but I think our country should have a C, eh?
Man 2: Dont'cha know it should have an N, eh?
Man 3: I'm sorry, but I feel it should have a D, eh?
And so, Canada was named.

A man is called in to his bosses office

The boss says, "I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?"
The man says, "What's the good news?"
The boss replies, "OSHA is naming a new safety regulation after you."

A girl was visiting her blonde...

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

God appeared to Adam in the Garden...

God appeared to Adam in the Garden of Eden one morning. While discussing the naming of the animals and such, God noticed Eve wasn't there. God asked Adam, where is Eve my son?
Adam reply's, oh she is down at the river bathing .
God then gasps, Oh no, no, no! I'll never get that smell out of the fish!

God thought long and hard what to name the period of time when the sun was not visible...

Finally, after many hours of trying different sounds and variations he named it night.
But when naming the opposite, he was exhaust and called it a day.

My best friend told me he was planning on naming his son "Square Root of 2".

Luckily his wife managed to convince him that would be completely irrational.

Our clan has a tradition of naming our children after deceased family members.

We named our son "Grandpa."

I went out late at night to call my cat.

And now I really regret naming him Batman. The neighbors are looking concerned.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are divorcing.

After naming their kids after directions they're the ones going south.

One for the software devs

There are two eternal problems in traditional software engineering:
1. Garbage collection
2. Naming things
3. Off-by-one errors

I'm thinking of opening a racist-themed bakery...

...and I'm planning of naming it the " Cake Cake Cake".

How I plan on never becoming a Grandparent..

I'll be naming my daughter pregnant so when a guy meets her.
Guy: Hi, I'm Paul.
Her: Hi, I'm pregnant.
Case closed.

I've started naming people after shops

You could be NEXT

Naming joke, I've started naming people after shops

jokes about naming