Naming Dogs Jokes
101 naming dogs jokes and hilarious naming dogs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about naming dogs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Naming Dogs Short Jokes
Short naming dogs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The naming dogs humour may include short dog name jokes also.
- I named my dog "5 miles." So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
- My neighbor has two German Shepards that he has named "Rolex" and "Timex".... They're watch dogs
- I used to have a dog with no legs named Cigarette And every now and again I would take him out for a drag.
- "What are your dogs names ?" "Calvin and Klein"
"Like the underwear?"
"They are boxers." - My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it. Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.
- So I was doing donuts in my car.. And a cop pulls me over. Now I know what you're thinking, who names their dog Donuts?
- Why did a man name his legless dog, Cigarette? Cause he had to take him out for a drag every night.
- My sons cheezits joke. You should name the dog Cheezits! Then if he starts sneezing, you can call him Sneezits!
I laughed and thought his 8 year old genius needed shared with the world. - My rescue dog has no legs, so I named her cigarette... and every night we go out for a drag.
- Why did a mathematician named his dog Cauchy? Let me test math awareness of this sub. This was told by a professor in a class.
Answer: because it left residue at every pole!
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Naming Dogs One Liners
Which naming dogs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with naming dogs? I can suggest the ones about naming and dog breeding.
- My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex They're his watch dogs
- I named my dog wifi Because I stole it from my neighbor
- I bought two Rottweilers and named them Rolex and Omega They're watch dogs...
- When I get a dog, I am going to name him Franz Ferdinand So I can take him out
(I tried) - My legless dog is named cigarette… Every day I take him out for a drag.
- I named my dog Syndrome.. So when he's Misbehaving I yell "Down Syndrome"
^^^Stolen - I named my dog 6 miles so i can tell people that i walk 6 miles every single day.
- I named my dog Stains You get weird looks when you yell "come stain!" at the park.
- I have two Dobermans, named Rolex and Timex. Watch dogs
- I ran over Five Miles this morning Looking back, Five Miles is a terrible name for a dog.
- Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"
- I bought two Dobermans named Rolex and Timex. They're watch dogs.
- My dog's name is Minton. Today he ate my shuttlecock,Bad Minton
- I bought a new dog yesterday. I've named him Rolex…….he's a watchdog
- My neighbor named his dog "Rolex"... He's a watch dog.
Witty Naming Dogs Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about naming dogs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make naming dogs pranks.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout out, DOWN SYNDROME!
Interviewing Arab for US visa
Interviewing an arab for a visa
Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: s**...?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Both male and female and sometimes even camels.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,........isn't it hostile?
Arab : Horse style, d**..., any style
Consul: Oh..........dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast
An Odd f**......
A guy is just coming out of the store when he sees an unusual f**... procession moving down the road. In front is a black hearse, which is followed at a respectable distance of about 30 feet by another, slow moving hearse. Behind the two walks a man with a dog. And some twenty feet behind him is a line of 100 more men, walking just as slowly.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches the man with the dog as they pass, falling into step beside him.
"This may not be the best time..." he begins "but I've never seen a f**... like this, so I need to ask what's going on. Who's in the first hearse?"
"My wife" says the man with the dog, mournfully. "She yelled at me, so Rover attacked and killed her." As if it feels guilty, the dog lowers its head and tail at the mention of his name.
"Oh.. oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss." Says the second guy. He walks alongside in respectful silence for a while before, once more, curiosity gets the better of him. "So whose in the second hearse?"
"My mother-in-law." comes the reply. "She tried to help my wife, so Rover killed her too."
"Oh my god, that's awful!" says the other guy, and walks alongside in respectful silence for a moment more. Eventually, he looks up and says "I don't suppose I could borrow your dog, could I?"
"Get in line." answers the guy.
drinking
A guy says to his friend "Man, I feel terrible. Last night I drank too much, came home and blew chunks."
Friend says "aw don't worry mate, that happens to all of us"
Guy says "you don't understand; my dog's name is 'Chunks'"
A man walks into a bar carrying a dog...
The dog has no legs. The bartender looks at the legless dog and asks the man, "What's your dog's name?" The man replies, "Cigarette." The bartender looks at him puzzled. "Why did you name him Cigarette?" The man replies, "Because every morning, I take him out for a drag."
Jim and his s**... life...
A man named Jim has been married to his beautiful wife for 15 years. They have two wonderful kids, a dog and a nice home.
You see, Jim works really hard at his job, but lately his s**... life has suffered because of it.
Jim goes to his doctor to ask why he is so tired all the time.
Jim says to his doc "you know, I work 16 hour days and when I come home I just have no time to be intimate with my wife. I have no energy! What do I do!"
His doctor replies "Okay Jim I can see you're a little bit overweight so maybe you need some exercise to increase that stamina. Every day for 30 days I want you to walk a mile. I'll phone you after 30 days"
So Jim starts walking that day. He walks one mile every day, hoping this will help.
On the 30th day his doctor phones.
Doc: "Jim! Did you do what I told you?"
Jim: "Yeah I did doc."
Doc: "Well how's your s**... life? Did it improve?"
Jim: "I wouldn't know. I'm 30 miles from home!"
Told to me by my grandmother
Once I had a dog...
Once I had a dog name Marlboro who didn't have any legs. Sometimes I'd take him out and we'd go for a drag
I have a dog named Lucky...
Sometimes he escapes so we have to go get Lucky.
And sometimes it'll be dark out so we'll be up all night to get Lucky.
My dog, Grandpa
The other day, my professor asked me what I'd name my dog if I got one.
I said, well I'd name him Grandpa.
That way, when people asked how my day was, I can say things like:
Oh man, I forgot to feed Grandpa today.
I feel bad for leaving Grandpa outside last night.
Grandpa pooped in the living room again.
I had to put grandpa down today.
Grandpa ran away again.
I caught Grandpa h**... my friend's leg again.
And people who don't know me, won't know what I'm talking about.
If the rapper Biz Markie had a female dog, he could name her...
...Miz Barkie
I'll stop
I feel bad jerking off on Christmas...
...but that's a s**... name to give a dog anyway.
Dog names
What do you name a male dog with no hind legs?
Dragonballs.
Two dogs meet on the street and sniff each other...
Finally one says, "I don't recall your name but your f**... familiar."
Dog names
A guy asked his blonde friend, What are the names of your dogs?
The she responded that one was named Rolex and the other Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Helloooooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."
I want to get a dog and name it Syndrome.
So that every time he gets on my couch, I can yell "DOWN SYNDROME"
The whole "Pavlov's Dog Experiment" is such a load of bunk I'm sick of people bringing it up...
...at this point just *hearing* the name "Pavlov" makes me mad.
There once was a woman who had 100 children....
She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.
Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation.
One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
Canine Names
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"
I asked my dog if he'd ever heard of Pavlov
He said, "I can't say for sure, but the name rings a bell."
I named my first dog "What".
Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked "What is the name of your first pet?" and I kept answering "Yes."
What did they name the Chinese remake of "Cloudy with a Chance of meatballs"?
It's Raining Cats and Dogs
When I get a dog I am going to name it syndrome
Because when he jumps up on me I can shout "Down syndrome"
A pharaoh makes a reservation in a restaurant:
"Can I reserve a table for two?"
"Sure just give me a name."
"Semerkhet."
"Would you spell it for me?"
"Bird, double triangle, wavy line, another bird, dog head, sun, scarab..."
An Indian Chief is sitting under a tree...
An Indian Chief and his son are sitting under a tree, looking out over the plains when his son asks: "Father, why is sister named, Running Deer?"
Chief: "Because, my son, when she was being born I looked out of the teepee and saw a deer running."
Son: "Father, why is brother called Charging Bull?"
Chief: "Because my son, when he was being born I looked out of the teepee and saw a bull running. Why do you ask, p**... Dog?
Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside?
Because 9/11 was an inside dog.
I named my dog Shark to make him sound tough...
For some reason, people go into a panic when he runs off on the beach.
I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity.
I'm starting to regret naming my dog that.
The Lost Bible
One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."
I walked 10 miles today.
I knew I shouldn't have let my dad name my dog.
Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?
Because he's not a planet.
A Native American child asks his father how they choose children's names.
Father - "After you are born, we open the tepee and the first thing we see is what we name you. Like your eldest brother, Soaring Eagle, your sister, Falling Leaves, and your little brother, Grizzly Cub. Why do you ask Two Dogs h**...?"
When I was a kid I used to name my dog, "Dad"
Because he used to run away all the time
Cr
My son wants to name our next dog n**...
This way he can tell his friends he walked n**... around the block
If I had a dog...
... I would name it 5 miles. Then I could tell people I walk '5 miles' everyday.
A reporter goes to the Middle East for an interview.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
A Pharoah makes a reservation at a ski resort...
Pharaoh: I'd like to make a reservation for two please.
Attendant: Absolutely. Can I get your name please.
Pharoah: "Neferneferuaten"
Attendant: ...can you spell that out for me?
Pharaoh: Bird, double triangle, wavy line, dog head, more bird, flames..."
My Dog named Kobe just died :(
The first kobe I know who passed.
I was chopping up onions and my kids started to cry.
Onions is a s**... name for a dog anyway.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
There was a guy who was terrible at naming thing ...
His dog was named dog, his cat was named cat and so on. One day, the man's sister was having twins and in a long family tradition, the babies uncle had to chose the names. Absolutely mortified, the twin girl and boy were born and it was time;
What did you choose for the girl?
Denise
Oh man, that's not so bad. What did you choose for the boy?
Denephew
When I was younger, I owned a dog named curiosity.
I also owned a cat but, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat
There was once a man who had 100 kids.
There was once a man who had 100 kids. He was not a creative man, so he named the kids after the number of their birth. One of his kids, 90, had a few kids when he grew older. One day, they found a dog on the road. They took him in, and named him This. This was a very good and well behaved dog. Dad, I'm going to go feed This. Hey dad, I'm taking This for a walk. One day, This went missing. The kids went out to search for him, when they saw him on the side of the road, with skid marks all over his body. Years later, the kids still remembered and missed This.
Moral of the story:
Only 90s kids will remember This.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You'd run away too if your name was nyuhddiaiahf.
I used to have a legless dog named cigarette
Every morning I would take him out for a drag
So the cops caught me doing doughnuts in my car today.
I know what you're thinking. Who the h**... names their dog doughnuts
Dude buys two dogs.
Names them One and Two. One ran away but he's still got Two.
I named my dogs Timex and Rolex ...
They're my watchdogs
A buddy of mine named is dog "5 miles"
Just to say he walked 5 miles.
But today he ran over 5 miles.
If I had a female dog....
I'd name her "Karma."
Why did the Alaskan man name his dog Frost?
Because frost bites.
I once had a dog with no legs. His name was Cigarette.
Every morning I'd take him out for a drag.
When I was little, my parents got me a Dog and a Cat for my birthday.
The next day we named the Dog curiosity.
A dog and a cat were having an argument on who is the favorite of humans
The dog says, Humans like us more. They even named a tooth (canine) after us. Naming such an important body part after us shows that they like us more.
The cat smiles and says, You're not really going to win this one you know.
What's your dogs name?
An elderly couple were outside one day enjoying the fine weather. The wife was sitting on the porch. The old man was in the yard playing with their dog. A little girl walked by and was delighted to see the dog and said, hello mister, I like your dog, what's its name.? The old man paused for second and said, uh what's the name of that pretty flower, it's red. The little girl says , you mean a rose? The old man says yeah that's it! And he looks towards the porch and yells, HEY ROSE, WHAT DID WE NAME THE DOG?
So we took our new dog to the beach today
I realise now it was not a good idea to name him Shark
Names
A young native American goes to see the chief of his tribe.
"Chief", he asks, "how are the names of children of our tribe decided?"
"Ah", says the Chief. "Well. When a child is born, the mother brings it to me. I look outside my wigwam, and the first thing I see becomes the child's name. For instance, that is why your brother's name is "Rushing Stream", and your sister's name is "Majestic Tree".
"Does that answer your question, Dog Having A Dump?"
Mark went for a walk in the park.
As he strolled up the path he heard someone shout, "Mark!"
He stopped and turned his head, and heard it again. "Mark!"
There was nobody around except for an old man on a bench with his dog, so he walked closer.
"Mark! Mark!" said the dog, tugging on its leash in the man's hands.
Mark was taken aback. "You.. you know my name?! ..and can ***talk***?"
"Oh?" the man lifted his head. "I'm sorry, she can't pronounce her B's".
I stole a dog and named it Boomerang
I hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the a**....
Cats vs Dogs
a dog and a cat are having an argument on who is the favorite of humans.
the dog says, "humans like us more, they have even named a tooth after us, the canine tooth. Naming such an important body part after us shows that they like us more."
the cat slowly smiles and says, "you're really not going to win this one, you know."
