The Best 92 Named Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Named jokes. There are some named brand name jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these named your name puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Named Jokes and Puns

George Foreman named all his kids George Foreman.

He even used the name when he had a little grill.

So you like limericks, huh?

On the Breast of a woman named Gale

was tattooed the price of her tail

and on her behind

for the sake of the blind

was the same information in braile.

A woman has twins...

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '

A lady almost 9 months pregnant falls down some stairs and knocks herself out...

When she wakes up, she is in a hospital bed.

Doctor: "We had to deliver your fraternal twins while you slept, but they are completely healthy. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you"

New Mother: "My brother named them? But he's an idiot! What are their names?"

Doctor: "Well, the little girl is named Denise."

New Mother: "Well, that's not so bad. What about my son?"

Doctor: "Denephew."

jokes about named

There was a mother who had three daughters...

...one day the first daughter walks up and asks,

"Mommy, why am I named Rose?"

"Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."

She walks away. Then the second walks up and says,

"Mommy, why am I named Daisy?"

"Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."

She walks away. Then third walks up and says,

"DURRUGFLARGLERDAAARGGGH!!!"

"It's ok Cinderblock. I still love you."

Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop...

To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."

A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef.

The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"

Named joke, A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef.

Canine Names

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"

Step 1: Be named Muhammed. Step 2: Get some followers.

Step 3: Prophet.

There were two sisters

There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.

One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"

His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."

Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".

There once was a boy named "Odd."

People made fun of him because of his name, so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.

Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."

You can explore named alias reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean named naming dogs dad jokes. There are also named puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I heard a statistic that there are more men named David in charge of companies than there are women.

Well obviously. How many women do you know named David?

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

His poems weren't always first rate,

His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,

Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.

Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a bakery...

To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."


(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)

A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother...

They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee

Sorry

The sonicare toothbrush is named after the words I never heard my father say.

Named joke, The sonicare toothbrush is named after the words I never heard my father say.

Why are so many Italian men named Tony?

When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

I named my son Gram

It's short for Grammar because he was supposed to be a period.

A man is following the Oregon Trail. He meets a man named Terry...

"Terry? What a stupid name!"

Terry killed him.

He died from dissin' Terry.

A woman wakes up from a coma and...

A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.

Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?

Doctor: Denise

Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?

Doctor: Denephew

A woman who has just given birth has fallen into a coma.

After 7 months the mother finally awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: Good news, you had twins! a boy and a girl. They are healthy, luckily your brother named them for you.

Mother: Oh no, not my brother! he's so stupid! What did he name my daughter?

Doctor: Denise.

Mother: well that isn't so bad, and what did he name my son?

Doctor: Denephew.

A lawyer named Strange died.

His friends asked the tombstone inscriber to write "Here lies Strange, an honest man and a lawyer" on the headstone. The inscriber suggested this would confuse people, who would think three men were buried there. He suggested "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." "Whenever anyone walks by," he explained "they'll be certain to remark, 'That's Strange.'"

A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out.

A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out. Whenever In was in, Out was out. And whenever In was out, Out was in.
One day Out was in but she couldn't find In anywhere. She looked everywhere for In; up, down, left, right, but she could not find In. Finally she asked Out to find In, and Out went right to where In was hiding. When the mother skunk asked Out how he knew where to find In, he replied
"Easy. Instinct."

Why are hurricanes named with female names?

Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them.

My wife and I just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust.

We call her Summer for short.

Congratulations West Ham

The only club named after two things that ISIS hate.

Named joke, Congratulations West Ham

I named my dog WiFi

Because I stole it from my neighbor

Donald Trump has announced that he plans to extend his wall across the oceans...

This news came after he discovered that a man named Jesus managed to walk on water.

"Anybody here named Jeff?"

Jeff: "Yes"

Geoff: "Yeos"

What's in a name?

A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. She awakens and frantically calls for her doctor. "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're fine," he says. "Your brother named them."

Oh, no, the new mother thinks.Β He's an idiot. Expecting the worst, she asks, "What's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

Not bad, she thinks.Β I guess I was wrong about him. "And the boy?"

"DeNephew."

I told my girlfriend I was named after Thomas Jefferson.

She said, "Your name is Brian."

I said, "Right. But I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson."

Chinese kid was born before the due date

Parents named him Sudden Lee.

My girlfriend asked me if I could have a threesome, which of her friends I would choose...

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE NAMED 2 FRIENDS!

A man named Eric Cole...

... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.

They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"

Happy Valentine's, everyone!

I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe...

I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe;
I said, "They're all named Joe?"
She said "Yeah it's great! When it's time for dinner I just have to yell "Joe! Dinner!" and they all come running.
I said, "but what do you do if you just want one of them?"
She said, "Oh then I just use their last name."

Gay parents are awesome!

* "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"

So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef.

The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."ο»Ώ

There's a mouse named In and a mouse named Out. How does Out know that In has died?

Instincts

If Hermione was a mathematician what would her kids be named?

Hermitwo and Hermithree.

Everyone is trying to climb the ladder to success

And at the top is a guy named Sess, having the time of his life.

Why are most hurricanes named after women?

When they come in, it's exciting and wet, but after they leave, half your shit's gone.

I named my kid Bob Ross

He was a happy little accident.

There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick

Rain asked his mom, Why is my name 'Rain'?
Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.
Then Snow asked his mom, Why is my name 'Snow'?
Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.
Then Brick asked his mom, NYANYANYANYA

Son: "Dad why was my sister named Madonna?"

Father: "Because your mother always thought the world needed another Madonna"
Son: "Thanks, dad."
Father: "No problem, Holocaust."

A Russian named Rudolf woke up one morning

He looked out the window and announced, _"It's raining."_

His wife said, _"No dear, it's sleeting."_

He replied, _"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."_

Post Malone may be a popular rapper, but have you heard of his long-lost cousin Ho Malone?

His most popular track is about some kid named Kevin who has to fight off burglars in his house.

Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?

Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem Alan.

If you buy a goat for $10 and named him Mohammed, then sell it for $15.

Did you make a prophet?

A father has two sons named Joe and Mikey and the live on the third floor of their apartment.

One day the father goes to store, but leaves the key to his car in the apartment. He see's Joe in the window and shouts to him, "throw my key out the window!"

Sadly, Mikey didn't survive the fall

I have a horse named Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

I named my eraser Confidence...

Because it gets smaller with every mistake I make

My dad's joke was you know, I was named after Abraham Lincoln. (person is confused since his name was Jim.)

He then responds, We'll, I wasn't named before him!

Guy calls in on radio show

**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan

I buy my guns from a guy named T-Rex

He's a small arms dealer.

I got a pet newt, and I named him Tiny

Because he's my newt

I used to have a dog with no legs named Cigarette

And every now and again I would take him out for a drag.

A woman is walking home with her three daughters.

The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, "Mummy, how did I get my name?"

"Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Rose".

The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question.

"Well darling, when we were bringing *you* home from the hospital, a *lily* petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Lily."

The third girl asks "AAArrgghhrasfdg".

"Shhh, quiet now, Cinderblock".

There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five.

There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five. On his birthday, he went to the racetrack and was astounded to see that in the fifth race (scheduled for five o'clock) a horse named Pentagram was running, with the odds of 55 to 1. Rushing off to the bank, the man was astonished to find he had $55,555.55 in his bank account. He withdrew the whole amount, dashed back to the races and bet all of it on Pentagram to win. Pentagram, obviously, came in fifth.

Two old men are sitting in the lounge chatting.

The one says, You should try the restaurant my wife and I went to last night. Pricey but well worth the money.

Oh, what's it called? asks the other man enthusiastically.

His friend thinks for a minute, Uhm…I…er…

Obviously having a senior moment he says, What's that flower, you know, war named after it, given out on Valentine's day?

The other man says, You mean the rose?

His friend lets out a gleeful, Yes! That's it, a rose!

He then turns in the chair and calls to his wife, Rose! What's the name of that place we ate at last night?

Two old men are sitting in the lounge chatting.

The one says, You should try the restaurant my wife and I went to last night. Pricey but well worth the money.

​

Oh, what's it called? asks the other man enthusiastically.

​

His friend thinks for a minute, Uhm…I…er…

​

Obviously having a senior moment he says, What's that flower, you know, war named after it, given out on Valentine's day?

​

The other man says, You mean the rose?

​

His friend lets out a gleeful, Yes! That's it, a rose!

​

He then turns in the chair and calls to his wife, Rose! What's the name of that place we ate at last night?

A man named Jeff was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him.

The officer looked in the back of Jeff's truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?

​

Jeff replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.

​

You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.

​

The next day, the officer saw Jeff driving down the road once again. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.

​

I did, Jeff replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach."

I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was to uncommon...

... I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.

I was named after my older brother.

And before my younger brother.

My parents named me after my older brother.

And before my younger brother.

I just got a new cat. I named him Nothing.

Because he's orange and Nothing rhymes with orange.

Did you know that Stephen King has a son named Joe?

I'm not joking, but he is

The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has been commissioned by Putin to develop a new robot to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others. They have named it in his honour.

It's called RARA's grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine.

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

His poems weren't always first rate,

His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,

Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.

A woman awakens from a coma, no longer pregnant.

"Congratulations! You delivered a boy and a girl!" The nurse said.
"That's great! Who named them?" She asked.
"Your husband did. He named the boy Jason."
"I like that. What about the girl?"
"Jadaughter."

A girl walks up to her mother and asks, "Mommy, why am I named Clover?"

"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."

Then, her other daughter walks up. "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?"

"Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."

Finally, her son walks up to her. "Those names make sense, but why am I named *Cakeday?"*

His mother sighs. "Your father believes it is the best way to earn karma."

Word joke

A man had 4 sons, and named them Bronson, Kenneth, Conrad and Dominic.
One day, they decided to ask their father if his choice of names meant anything.
He replied, "Only the first three letters of each."

A guy named Bob dies and goes to hell

Before him stands the Devil.

"Hello, Bob. Welcome to Hell" the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of hell and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"

"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob

"Level 1 is the hottest level because heat rises. You would know that if you studied for your science test, Bob"

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months.

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, your brother named them for you.

Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.

I named my dog "5 miles."

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him.

He's the new temp.

Girl named IKEA had to change her name to stop being picked on at school.

However stop being picked on at school is arguably a worse choice.

My neighbor has two German Shepards that he has named "Rolex" and "Timex"....

They're watch dogs

Mr and Mrs Lee unexpectedly had their baby early

So they named him SUDDEN LEE

I have a pet newt. His name is Tiny. Know why he's named Tiny?

…because he's my newt.

I was named after George Washington.

He was named in 1732. I was named in 1990

A dog and a cat were having an argument on who is the favorite of humans

The dog says, Humans like us more. They even named a tooth (canine) after us. Naming such an important body part after us shows that they like us more.

The cat smiles and says, You're not really going to win this one you know.

Not to brag, but made six figures this year

They named me the worst employee at the toy factory

A lad named Jack confronts his alcoholic father

You stupid old man, our last name is Inoff you did this on purpose!

His father replies Nah I named you after Jack Daniels. But that's pretty damn funny too!

A woman had three young daughters...

One day, the first daughter came to her and said "Mama, how did I get my name?"

"Well, the day you were born, a beautiful lily flower floated in through the window and landed on your head, so we named you Lily."

The second daughter asks "Mama, how did I get my name?"

"Well, the day you were born, a beautiful daisy flower floated in through the window and landed on your head, so we named you Daisy."

Finally the third sister goes "Gah wah nah nah wah gah nah!"

And her sisters yell back "Shut up, Brick!"

We have a beautiful little girl

who we named after my mom; in fact, Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Nowadays, you don't run into many guys named Lance.

But in the Middle Ages, people used to be named Lancelot.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

He responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

A guy named Jack ....

has a appointment at a sperm back at 9.00 am , he turns up at 9.30 am and the receptionist says "eh Jack ya late "

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Just bought a new car, I named her Sally," he tells the bartender. "You're an adult now, you really shouldn't anthropomorphize things," the bartender says. "Why not?" the guys asks. "Because they don't like it," the bartender replies.

I wish that there was a restaurant named I don't care,

so I'd finally know where my girlfriend was talking about.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the named rename puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working named knock knock name piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes