Name Grant Jokes
8 name grant jokes and hilarious name grant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about name grant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Name Grant Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good name grant joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A man stumbles upon a magic lamp with a genie willing to grant him one wish.
Man: I wish your name was "Burger King".
Genie: Wait, what? Why?
Man: It's for a joke, trust me.
Genie: You'd waste a wish, something with the power to change the cosmos itself, for a joke?
Man: Yes.
Burger King: Have it your way.
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.
It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'
'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for.
He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' cried the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.'
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.
Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad.
'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur, 'the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!'
But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless..
A guy is walking on a beach when he finds a genie lamp..
He rubs the lamp and a Genie pops out.
The Genie says, "Thank you for releasing me. I will grant you one wish."
The guy doesn't hesitate.."I want to be world famous! I want my name in lights in every theater around the world!"
"Done!", says the Genie.."Your name is now EXIT."
Irving Lipchitz always hated his name. As soon as he turned 18, he petitioned to have it legally changed.
The judge was very understanding and asked Irving if he had any outstanding debts, and confirmed he had no criminal history. His character confirmed, the judge granted his wish: and what would you like your new name to be son?
DAVID Lipchitz.
Three formerly wealthy friends, who all had the same name, found a Genie's lamp...
So they decided that when they released the genie each of them would get one wish. So they rubbed the lamp and a genie popped out and said, "hello, I will grant you three wishes." The men explained that they were going to spilt the wishes, and the genie agreed. The first man wished to be the only man on an island full of beautiful women, and p**... he was gone. The next man wished to be the most powerful world leader, and p**... he was gone. The last man, just wanted something simple and asked for his Riches to be returned. And p**... both of his friends came back.
Understand women
There once was a man named John. He did a lot of praying and one day God saw this and came down to John. God said to him "John you've been doing a lot of praying so I am granting you with one wish, ask for whatever you want." John was very happy and said "God I always wanted to go to Hawaii but I am scared of flying, can you build me a road from California to Hawaii so I can drive there?" God then said "John many people will die making this bridge because it is in middle of the ocean and it is so long." John agreed and then said
"you know God my wife is always yelling at me, my mom is always mad at me and my sisters are always telling me that I'm wrong. Can you allow me to understand women." God thought for a while and then said ".....so when do you want that bridge done by?"
A boy is struggling with his exams...
He catches a lucky break when, as he is walking home one day, he finds a mystical lamp on the side of the road. He rubs the side of the lamp and a genie pops out.
"You may have any item you desire, simply name it." The genie says.
The boy thinks for a second then exclaims,
"I'd like some kind of concealable item that will grant me infinite wisdom."
"As you wish, press the top of this pen and what you desire shall be yours."
The boy takes the pen and is overjoyed, with this pen he'll never have to study again!
His next exam comes around and he walks into the school hall with confidence. He sits at his desk as others around him fidget nervously.
When the papers are handed out, he holds the pen up and triumphantly lowers his thumb over the lever as it produces an audible click.
And in his infinite wisdom he suddenly states with absolute clarity:
*"I should have studied!!!"*
Three nuns die and go to heaven
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter says Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want.
The first nun says I want to be Sophia Loren and p**... she's gone.
The second says I want to be Madonna and p**... she's gone.
The third says I want to be Sara Pipalini.
St Peter looks perplexed. Who? asks St Peter
Sara Pipalini replies the nun.
St Peter shakes his head and says I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell.
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men!
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