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Nail Biting Jokes

36 nail biting jokes and hilarious nail biting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nail biting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Nail Biting Short Jokes

Short nail biting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nail biting humour may include short nails jokes also.

  1. The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
  2. After 40 years my grandma has finally gotten my grandpa to stop biting his nails. She's hidden his teeth.
  3. I finally stopped my roomate from biting his nails. All i had to do was make him wear shoes.
  4. What do people who bite their fingers say to intimidate people? I'm not scared of you, I eat nails for breakfast every day!
  5. At 31 years old, I decided to grow up, kick a bad habit and stopped biting my nails. The nosebleeds are getting annoying, though.
  6. Mom Can we go out and play with granny?
    Yes, just don't bite her nails or I'll close the coffin
  7. I quitted smoking, drinking alcohol, m**..., biting my nails and coffeine at the same time. That was the worst second of my f**...' life...
  8. Whats the difference between biting your nails, and Frodo with a r**... charge? Ones a force of habit, one's a forceful hobbit

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Nail Biting One Liners

Which nail biting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nail biting? I can suggest the ones about fingernails and biting.

  1. What do nervous carpenters do? Bite their nails
  2. Cannibalism is a real thrill Nail-biting from start to finish.
  3. What do you call a Nun that bites her nails? A bad Habit.
    I'll see myself out.
  4. The best way I found to stop biting my nails was.. To stop buying toilet paper.
  5. Want a surefire trick to break your nail-biting habit? Take up plumbing
  6. Did you hear about the nun that bites her nails? You can say she has a bad habit.
  7. I bite my nails, but you would never be able to tell because I wear socks with my sandals
  8. Why were the Carpenter's teeth so bad? Because he was always biting his nails.
  9. How did the carpenter lose all his teeth? By biting his nails.
  10. "Children, stop biting grandpa's nails... ...or I'll close the coffin!"
  11. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
  12. Why do I see people open cigarette packs with their teeth? Because they bite their nails.
  13. Johnny! Stop biting nails!.. on granny's feet!.. And get away of coffin!

Fun-Filled Nail Biting Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about nail biting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hand nails jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nail biting pranks.

I've always had a problem with eating my fingernails.

I get anxious and chew them off and eat them and they look terrible. One day my sister noticed and told me to go to the drug store for some press-on nails. She said they looked good and would keep me from biting my nails. So I went and bought some and she was right. They looked so good I ate them right out of the box.

A little boy is always biting his nails...

A little boy is always biting his nails. In the end his mom gets angry and says, "If you continue to bite your nails you'll get bigger and bigger and bigger until you blow up like a balloon!" A few days later the little boy is on the bus when a very pregnant woman sits opposite him. After a few minutes the lady realizes that the little boy is staring at her. "Do you know me?" she asks. "No," says the boy. "But I know what you've been doing."