Mystery Jokes
85 mystery jokes and hilarious mystery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mystery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article delves into the world of mystery jokes. Unravel the conundrums and challenge your brain with puzzles and riddles. And, explore the mysterious lines of the popular 'Mystery Machine' and 'Mystery Book'. Uncover the punchlines of Laffy Taffy's 'Mystery' flavored jokes and be on the lookout for more alluring mysteries.
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Funniest Mystery Short Jokes
Short mystery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mystery humour may include short mysterious jokes also.
- How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
- Lost my job as an old west saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door and I just kept playing
- My 3 year old just got me with this one... 3 yo: Can I please have a mystery?
Me: What is that?
3 yo: I don't know, it's a mystery (laughs hysterically) - A city in northern England has mysteriously disappeared The police are still searching for Leeds
- I have a mysterious illness where I seem to get sick only during the work week. So, I went to my doctor. He said it was a weekend immune system.
- There is a mysterious crime spree going on at our local IKEA. The cops are having a hard time putting the pieces together.
- Why do snowmen love reading mystery novels? They're always on the hunt for the chilling clues!
- I was trying to come up with a name for my group of mystery-solving chickens Apparently the Clue Clucks Clan was already taken.
- The bermuda triangle used to be known as the bermuda rectangle, until one of the sides mysteriously vanished.
- WANTED: A mysterious man keeps waking me up whenever I'm about to sleep! 25,000 dollar reward for information if it leads to a rest.
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Mystery One Liners
Which mystery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mystery? I can suggest the ones about suspense and miracle.
- My last girlfriend said I was unnecessarily mysterious. Or did she?
- My friend Victor changed his last name to "E". No one knows why. He's become a Mystery.
- I want to write a mystery novel. Or Do I ?
- The Lord moves in mysterious ways. But you don't. Use your turn signal.
- The best part of waking up... Is still a mystery to me.
- I like my women like I like my covfefe A mystery
- I recently started writing a mystery novel... ...Or did I?
- I know women like to be mysterious... But turning signals are for safty purposes..
- What do you call two Orthodox Jewish brothers who solve mysteries? The Haredi Boys
- What do you call a chicken that writes mystery novels? Eggatha Christie
- There was a mystery involving an office worker and a small bag. It was a brief case.
- It's always been a mystery to me how people build soundproof rooms. It's baffling.
- The mystery of how my luggage worked has been solved. It was an opened and shut case.
- What do you call a mystery Mexican? Juan Doe
- You know what they say about cows in the Bermuda Triangle... They moo in mysterious waves
Mystery Machine Jokes
Here is a list of funny mystery machine jokes and even better mystery machine puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Mystery Machine is a now an Uber vehicle. SCUBER DOOBIE DOO!
Mystery Book Jokes
Here is a list of funny mystery book jokes and even better mystery book puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I walked into a bookstore and asked if they have any books on gloryholes. She said ya, over there in the mystery romance section.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Mystery Jokes
What funny jokes about mystery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean riddle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mystery pranks.
The Crow Mystery
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
The scientific conclusion was that while all the lookout crows could say "Cah", none could say "Truck."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me - Yesterday is history, but tomorrow.. tomorrow is a mystery.
Judge - ..you're on trial for m**.... Maybe you should've gotten a lawyer.
a sociologist finally solved the mystery of why men tend to die earlier than their respective wives
they want to.
The Mystery of Childbirth
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."
The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What m**... mystery is especially popular among mathematicians?
the Sin of 4
In the end, the tribe of cannibals caught the Hardy Boys.
That night, they had mystery meat.
A man is walking home late at night when he hears a woman's voice….
...from the shadow call out, Twenty bucks?
The man takes the mystery woman up on the offer. They've been going at it for a few minutes when a police officer points his flashlight at them and demands to know what's going on.
Do you mind? I'm making love to my wife, replies the man.
Sorry, says the cop, I didn't know.
The man replies, Neither did I, until you turned on the flashlight.
Number mystery.
On saturday night, 789.
When asked why 9 went missing, 6.87.
Seagull mystery
if seagulls fly over the bay, would they be BAY-GELS?
Great Mystery
Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"
Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?"
Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".
If I had a bookstore
I'd make the mystery section really hard to find
(Credits: Demetri Martin)
Sweatshirts are my favorite thing.
Like am I wearing a bra or not? Probably not because I am a guy but the mystery is still there.
If Quentin Tarantino made a detective mystery movie, what would it be called?
Something is Afoot
What do you call a girl tree?
"It's a Mystery (Ms. Tree)"
-My 7-year old daughter made that one up.
There once was a man with a wooden leg named Steve
Why Steve carried a wooden leg with him everywhere he went will remain a mystery, creep.
Every novel is a mystery novel...
...if you never finish reading it.
A college class was asked to write a short story in as few words as possible.
A college class was asked to write a short story in as few words as possible.
The only catch was the story had to include three subjects:
1: Religion
2: Sexuality
3: Mystery
Below is the only A* essay.
"Good god, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it."
What do you call a famous painting that's been stolen?
A masterpiece mystery
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a m**... mystery on a train?
A loco-motive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, s**... and mystery.
The prize-winning essay read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"
I figured out Oreo's™ new mystery cream flavor!
...disappointment
Romance. Mystery. Intellect...
Bus. Gardening. Spoons.
All these and more words in "Dictionary: The Movie".
Mystery section
I asked the librarian where I could find the mystery section. She said, "It hasn't been seen in 40 years..."
What do you call a cop morning mystery?
Who donut?
Ship mystery
It's prohibited to name a ship "Google".
Because it will sync every night at 12.
Why does mystery story writer insists upon mixing additional crushed stone while laying the foundation?
So the plot thickens.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found out from Yoda that Mystery Inc. has a p**... smoking dog.
Doobie, s**... do.
I watched a mystery movie about kitchenware.
It was very saucepansful.
Sherlock bones the worlds greatest doggy detective has solved yet another mystery with the help of his partner Dr.Dogson, but how did they do it?
Smellementary.
Ordered a Sherlock Holmes game online...
Received a podiatric prosthesis instead...
Must unravel this strange mystery.
The game is afoot.
If genres were flavors SCI-FI would be sour, Fantasy would be sweet, Horror would be bitter, Mystery would be umami...
And Erotica would be salty.
I was hit by a moose driving my motorcycle yesterday.
How he managed to drive it is a mystery to me.
I was going for a walk when I saw a sign saying "mystery prize if you jump down this hole"
I said "I have to get to the bottom of this"
Trying to create a decent graph of my data but some mystery guy keeps adding more samples to it.
The plot thickens.
Detectives figured out the mystery behind the satchel in my freezer.
It was a cold but brief case.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What board game centers around a m**... mystery?
I don't have a Clue.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend asked me if I had a game about m**... mystery...
I said I didn't have a Clue.
A few electrons are having a party
When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:
"Bond. Covalent Bond."
I wanna write a mystery novel
Or do i?
I have actually written one
Or have i?
I am sorry i wont do this again
Or wil i?
I'm halfway through this braille muder mystery.
I've got a feeling someone's about to die.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does the gay detective have s**...?
I don't know that, but I do know this is one mystery I'm sure he'd love to get to the bottom of.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The s**... Doo gang returns after a mystery to see that someone had keyed the Mystery Machine
Fred says it's ok gang, they only scratched the surface to this Mystery.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every day, someone killed a group of crows and piled their corpses in the middle of town.
It was a m**... mystery.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A detective is trying to solve a m**... mystery
A lady was killed by being stabbed 17 times. The only evidence was a knife, fully made of concrete. The detective sent the knife to a lab, hoping for any DNA evidence, but unfortunately, the results came back inconclusive.
The detective was puzzled. He was sure it was concrete evidence.
A man takes his place in the theatre, but his seat is too far from the stage.
He whispers to the usher "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat and I'll give you a handsome tip". The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers "The wife did it".
I had a job interview yesterday...
The chap conducting the interview had a copy of my CV in front of him. He said to me
"It says here you're a man of mystery"
"That's correct" I replied
"Would you care to elaborate?"
"No"
A prison mystery
\- Why were you sent to prison?
\- Bribery.
\- And how did you get out after just a month?
\- What do you think?
A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot..
The bartender hands him a shot of whisky, the guy drinks it down, looks at something in his shirt pocket, then orders another one.
The bartender gives him the 2nd shot, and same thing, guy drinks it, looks in his shirt pocket then immediately orders another.
After 5 more shots, the bartender can't take the mystery any more, and says to the guys "You keep looking at something in your shirt pocket every time you take a drink, what do you have in there?"
The guys says, "It's a picture of my wife. I keep drinking until she looks good then I go home."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... Doo is the worst cartoon to watch during the COVID-19 pandemic
Because the Mystery Inc gang doesn't seem to like people who wear masks
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
what do you call a group of crows and a dead one
a m**... mystery
My First Time, so cut me some slack
What do you call a Sloppy Joe with Mystery Meat?
Sloppy John Doe!
A joke my daughter just came up with.
What do they serve at a muder mystery dinner?
J'Accuse Cous.
I thought it was original and funny enough to share!
A guy was giving the opening prayer at a convention...
...and he said, "Life is a mystery everyone must stand alone I hear you call my name and it feels like home."So the MC said, "That's not really a prayer." And the guy said, "Well no, but it's like a prayer."
Agatha Christie
Agatha Christie would write one mystery novel after another without pause until her arms ached.
She was diagnosed with Marple tunnel syndrome.
Sherlock Holmes was always reluctant to take credit for solving a mystery
Oh it was nothing, he would say. The police would have solved it in time.
Everyone knew he was just being modest. Be he ever so humble, there's no Police like Holmes.
