Mysterious Jokes
48 mysterious jokes and hilarious mysterious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mysterious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these mysterious jokes from the mysterious Benedict Society! Impress friends and family with eerie riddles and mystical puns! Delight in the humorous secrets of the mysterious world!
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Funniest Mysterious Short Jokes
Short mysterious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mysterious humour may include short mystery jokes also.
- How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
- Lost my job as an old west saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door and I just kept playing
- My 3 year old just got me with this one... 3 yo: Can I please have a mystery?
Me: What is that?
3 yo: I don't know, it's a mystery (laughs hysterically) - A city in northern England has mysteriously disappeared The police are still searching for Leeds
- I have a mysterious illness where I seem to get sick only during the work week. So, I went to my doctor. He said it was a weekend immune system.
- There is a mysterious crime spree going on at our local IKEA. The cops are having a hard time putting the pieces together.
- Why do snowmen love reading mystery novels? They're always on the hunt for the chilling clues!
- I was trying to come up with a name for my group of mystery-solving chickens Apparently the Clue Clucks Clan was already taken.
- The bermuda triangle used to be known as the bermuda rectangle, until one of the sides mysteriously vanished.
- WANTED: A mysterious man keeps waking me up whenever I'm about to sleep! 25,000 dollar reward for information if it leads to a rest.
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Mysterious One Liners
Which mysterious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mysterious? I can suggest the ones about strange and suspicious.
- My last girlfriend said I was unnecessarily mysterious. Or did she?
- My friend Victor changed his last name to "E". No one knows why. He's become a Mystery.
- I want to write a mystery novel. Or Do I ?
- The Lord moves in mysterious ways. But you don't. Use your turn signal.
- The best part of waking up... Is still a mystery to me.
- I like my women like I like my covfefe A mystery
- I recently started writing a mystery novel... ...Or did I?
- I know women like to be mysterious... But turning signals are for safty purposes..
- What do you call two Orthodox Jewish brothers who solve mysteries? The Haredi Boys
- What do you call a chicken that writes mystery novels? Eggatha Christie
- There was a mystery involving an office worker and a small bag. It was a brief case.
- It's always been a mystery to me how people build soundproof rooms. It's baffling.
- The mystery of how my luggage worked has been solved. It was an opened and shut case.
- What do you call a mystery Mexican? Juan Doe
- You know what they say about cows in the Bermuda Triangle... They moo in mysterious waves
Hilarious Fun Mysterious Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about mysterious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bizarre jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mysterious pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, s**... and mystery.
The prize-winning essay read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"
Great Mystery
Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"
Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?"
Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".
A man is walking home late at night when he hears a woman's voice….
...from the shadow call out, Twenty bucks?
The man takes the mystery woman up on the offer. They've been going at it for a few minutes when a police officer points his flashlight at them and demands to know what's going on.
Do you mind? I'm making love to my wife, replies the man.
Sorry, says the cop, I didn't know.
The man replies, Neither did I, until you turned on the flashlight.
A college class was asked to write a short story in as few words as possible.
A college class was asked to write a short story in as few words as possible.
The only catch was the story had to include three subjects:
1: Religion
2: Sexuality
3: Mystery
Below is the only A* essay.
"Good god, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it."
A man takes his place in the theatre, but his seat is too far from the stage.
He whispers to the usher "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat and I'll give you a handsome tip". The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers "The wife did it".
The Mystery of Childbirth
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."
The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
A guy gets to Heaven and meets God for the first time...
God says, welcome my child. For living an exemplary life and following in my footsteps, I welcome you to Heaven and will answer one question for you. The answer to any of your life's mysteries that you desire.
The man ponders. He hurriedly thinks back on his life, wondering which answer he wants the most and not wanting to waste God's time, but he can't decide. He stares back at Him, unsure of what to say.
God says, don't worry my child, I am all knowing, so I already know what question you will ask.
The man, visibly relieved, exclaimed oh thank you! What is it?
That one. Enjoy eternity!
Who's your daddy?
A father's daughter brought home her prospective fiancee
It was the first time he'd met him and he took the opportunity to quiz him a bit
"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked
"I have no job" he replied
"Really? Well how do you expect to provide for my daughter?"
"God will provide, I'm sure" was the answer from the intended
"And how exactly will he do that then?"
"God is merciful and will ensure we do not want" he said with all sincerity
"And how about if you have kids? Who looks after you then?"
"God will ensure he provides bounty for the whole family"
"OK, so you say, but exactly how will God provide this?"
"I don't know yet. God will move in his own mysterious ways"
At this point, the father gives up and leaves the house fuming, heading straight for the bar. there he meets his friend Dave who asks,
"What's up friend? You seem troubled"
"Well, I've just met my girl's new fiancé"
"Oh man, bad news?"
"Well, on the plus side, he does at least seem to think I'm God..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The day after Beethoven's f**...
The day after Beethoven's f**..., at midnight, a drunken man, having just left the bar, went into the graveyard, where he heard a strange sound. Looking for the source of the mysterious sound, he discovered it was coming from Beethoven's grave. Alarmed, he called his friends, and found they could hear the sound too (even the sober ones).
Soon, a crowd was forming at the graveyard. The mayor, who was very familiar with classical music, recognized the sound as Beethoven's 9th Symphony played backwards. When it ended, Beethoven's 8th Symphony started playing, also backwards, and then the 7th, and then the 6th, and so forth. At dawn, having reached a conclusion, the mayor said to the gathering crowd:
"There's nothing to fear, gentlemen. He's just decomposing."
A few electrons are having a party
When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:
"Bond. Covalent Bond."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A detective is trying to solve a m**... mystery
A lady was killed by being stabbed 17 times. The only evidence was a knife, fully made of concrete. The detective sent the knife to a lab, hoping for any DNA evidence, but unfortunately, the results came back inconclusive.
The detective was puzzled. He was sure it was concrete evidence.
A
If this 'A' gets to the front page, I'll delete this text and it'll make people go crazy wondering how an A got to the front page.
Post mysterious comments like So true! And don't talk about how it's an inside joke.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and has a seat. Before he has a chance to order, a mysterious man in black walks in and whispers into the guy's ear exactly what drink he should order. And then the man mysteriously leaves without another word. "Who the heck was that?" the bartender asks. "No idea. Every time I go to a bar to have a drink he shows up out of nowhere and tells me what to order," the guy says. "I call him my spirit guide."
A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot..
The bartender hands him a shot of whisky, the guy drinks it down, looks at something in his shirt pocket, then orders another one.
The bartender gives him the 2nd shot, and same thing, guy drinks it, looks in his shirt pocket then immediately orders another.
After 5 more shots, the bartender can't take the mystery any more, and says to the guys "You keep looking at something in your shirt pocket every time you take a drink, what do you have in there?"
The guys says, "It's a picture of my wife. I keep drinking until she looks good then I go home."
