The Best 35 My Book Of Jokes

Following is our collection of funny My Book Of jokes. There are some my book of jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these my book of puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest My Book Of Jokes and Puns

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah, that's the one!"

I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book...

She laughed at me, and said

"Oh uncle J you're so old. Just use my phone."

So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.

A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

What are you reading, old man? he asks.

I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.

The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.

I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.

How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to hell? asks the KGB agent.

I already speak Russian."

I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."



He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as...

"The most violent book I have ever read"


So I asked my girlfriend what she would want for her birthday next week

She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."

I asked her: "What do you think it means?"

She smiled and said: "I don't know..."

Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.

I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.

In breaking news, Trump's personal library has burned down

The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn't even finished coloring the second one

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable.

It was an autobiography...

I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography.

I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered: "They're right behind you."

Did you hear the news that Trump's personal library burnt down?

Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.

Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.

You can explore my book of reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean my book of dad jokes. There are also my book of puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of Free Bird being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.

Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.

They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book

That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader

A guy walks into a Muslim bookstore wearing a Make America Great Again hat...

As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.
 
Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal aliens?
 
The clerk said, Kiss my ass… get out… and stay out!
 
The man said, Yes, that's the one.  Do you have it in paperback?

A guy walks into a library and asks the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

The man replies, "Yeah that's the one."

Librarian: Can I help you?

Dave: Yeah, I'm looking for a book about-

Librarian: Being psychic?

Dave: No...

Librarian: One day that will work.

TIFU by sending my nudes to everyone in my address book

Cost me a fortune in stamps

A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party.

He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover


My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings:

1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking

I'm writing a book called 'Stop Overreacting.'

If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.

Today, when my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" I burst into tears...

11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...

Do you know why libraries don't have books about suicide?

They never get returned

Two mice are chewing on a film roll

One says, "I liked the book better"

My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure.

So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.

I got kicked out of the library today...

Apparently putting the feminism books in the sci-fi section was not acceptable.

Have a turkish joke

A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on only one book for years?

The Church

A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?"

The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."

I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat

The librarian said "That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not."

Why does Kim Jong Un love books?

Because he is the Supreme Reader.

I asked the librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog and Schroedinger's cat.

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

I went to a bookstore recently.

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I wondered why they were doing that. Then IT hit me.

Kim Jung Un loves to read books, what does that make him?

A glorious reader.

I've been reading a book on euthanasia...

It's so good I can't put it down.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the my book of jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working my book of piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes