Mute Jokes
106 mute jokes and hilarious mute puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mute that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn about the history of mute jokes, from the classic Dr. Seuss character, the Lorax, to the evolution of silent humor in American Sign Language (ASL). We'll explore why the mute swan is commonly featured in comedy, and why going "hush" is rarely seen as offensive. Discover the unique form of comedy that arises from silence, and how humor and understanding can bring us together.
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Funniest Mute Short Jokes
Short mute jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mute humour may include short mime jokes also.
- I thought this guy on the subway was yawning. Turns out he was just a mute sitting on a tack.
- There was a fight between a blind man, a deaf man, and a mute man I just have to ask, how long until we end this senseless violence?
- A tasteless joke. People who can't hear are called deaf.
People who can't see are called blind.
People who can't talk are called mute.
What do you call people that can't taste food?
Ethiopian - There was a deaf mute who said so many dirty words that his mother had to wash his hands with soap.
- What’s the best way to make a beginner accordion player sound better? Mute the accordion.
- Did you hear about the two mute people who were telling each other jokes? They laughed so hard they broke their fingers.
- The most unpredictable things in my life happened when I was friends with a bunch of mutes There was no telling what could happen
- What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps,
And has legs but never walks?
A mute, crippled insomniac - Did you hear the one about the mute clock with Tourette's? It ticks a lot but never talks.
- Blind, deaf and mute people can all tolerate a dark joke. It's because they're not sensitive.
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Mute One Liners
Which mute one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mute? I can suggest the ones about alter and changer.
- Two deaf-mute kids were arguing. The mother came and turned off the light.
- What do you call an Italian with two broken hands? Mute
- Why did Antman stop talking when he joined the x men?? He became a mute ant.
- How do you know if an Italian person is mute? When you see he has no hands.
- How do you cure a mute coworker? Tell them a secret
- I muted my boss in a zoom call He fired me for mute-iny.
- How do you mute an Italian? Tie up their hands.
- What console does a mute chicken have? Ex-Bawks
- What do you call an Italian with no hands? Mute
- A deaf-mute man came on a talent show. And what is your talent?
- I can speak! - Someone asked me how being mute was going for me. Can't complain.
- Mute budgie for sale Not going cheap!
- Why is it so hard to convict a mute person in court? Its always your word against mime.
- I remember when I found out that I was a mute. I was upset to say the least.
- Did you hear about the mute motorcycle gang? They don't answer to nobody.
Deaf Mute Jokes
Here is a list of funny deaf mute jokes and even better deaf mute puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Doctor: *panic* Disabled guy: Stands
Blind guy: did he just stand?
Deaf guy: did he just see?
Mute guy: did he just hear? - What did the deaf, mute, paraplegic get for Christmas? Cancer
- Did you hear about the shooting at the school for blind, deaf mutes? It was truly a senseless tragedy.
- What did the blind deaf mute child get for Christmas? Cancer
- What is logic? A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.
- Did you hear about the deaf person who was cut up but was surprisingly happy about the whole thing? The headline was: Mutilated mute elated
- What do deaf-mute people like about yoga pants? They make lip-reading easier.
- A criminal defense lawyer says "Don't talk" to his clients regarding interactions with law enforcement, except to his deaf-mute clients, to whom he says "Don't sign anything."
- What do you call a man who's blind, deaf, mute, and paralyzed? Probably dead.
- What do you call a deaf person with no arms? Mute
Mute Button Jokes
Here is a list of funny mute button jokes and even better mute button puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- what does my microwave and women have in common? they both need a mute button
- I am sorry, I didn't mean to push all your b**.... I was looking for mute.
Mute Swan Jokes
Here is a list of funny mute swan jokes and even better mute swan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The white-throated dipper is the national bird of Norway, the mute swan is Denmark's, and the blackbird is Sweden's, these are the Scandinavians.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Mute Jokes
What funny jokes about mute you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mask jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mute pranks.
A mute man swallowed a coin by mistake
he was able to talk for a minute
English couple adopt a German baby boy 'Engelbert'....
.....now six years old Engelbert has never spoke a word, everyone just assumed he is mute.
Then one day at the breakfast table Engelbert shouted (with a typical German accent) mummy these sausages are not cooked through!
Mummy rushed across and shocked with disbelief said Engelgert you can talk, how come you never said anything for six years?
(German Accent again) Engelbert replied up until now everything has been quite satisfactory.
What do you call a mute italian?
Armless!
When I worked as Tech Support for an ISP I had a woman call outraged that we allowed "filth" on her computer...
After she calmed down slightly she explained that her 10 year old Granddaughter was sleeping over and they were having a "Spa Night" and did a web search on "Facials". . . .I was able to hit the mute button in time to avoid making matters far worse... True Story!
Best listener
Girl: My boyfriend never listens to me.
Friend: You should date a blind mute.
Girl: why?
Friend: he's all ears
A mule walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The mule replies, "Well, my mother was a horse, of course, of course. And no one can talk to a horse, of course. Which eventually led to divorce, of course. Of which there was no recourse, of course.
So without my father but with my mute mother, it took quite a long time for me to discover...
...I can't have kids"
A mute was arrested..
So I heard a mute was arrested for committing an unspeakable act.
A new spin on an old cliché
I was sitting on a team call for work. We were discussing team restructuring. The question was asked about team leaders.
My boss said, "The cream will rise to the surface."
I replied, "So will the foam. The insubstantial, shiny bits that disappear completely when placed under any load."
...I need to mute the phone more often.
I thought this guy at the library was yawning.
Turns out he was just a mute sitting on a needle.
What did the mute man say?
Being Mute.
Being mute means never having to say you're sorry.
My mute grandfather always said:
My old frog of 10 years finally croaked last night
He'd been mute for years
What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?
Cancer.
How do mute people tell each others secrets?
They put on mittens.
Did you hear the one about the shipwreck where only the limbless mute survived?
Why Couldn't Anyone Understand The Mute Mathematician's?
They didn't speak sine language.
Some people talk the talk, others walk the walk.
And here I am, a mute in a wheelchair.
What's the best part about being a mute?
It goes without saying...
I've been volunteering a lot with the hearing impaired lately:
I couldn't care less about them as a group, but it's the only way to find a girlfriend who is completely mute.
My wife is a mute.
We're happily married.
A mute guy survived an awful car c**... early this week, what a lucky man!
I mean, he lost his hands but I guess he can't complain.
m**...
A blind man, a deaf man and a mute are murdered.
These are senseless killings
My wife left me because I'm a mute.
I had nothing to say to her.
It's hard being a mute.
So they say...
A lawyer was travelling in an almost empty train.
A lady approaches him and says "Put everything you have in this bag or I'll shout that you are molesting me." The lawyer signals that he is deaf and mute and asks her to write what she just said on a paper. She does so. He smiles and keeps the paper in his bag and says "Now do whatever you want!"
Why did Professor X take on an insect as a student when it couldn't talk?
Because it was a mute ant.
Did I ever tell you about my mute friend?
We used to be very close, but I haven't heard from him for a while.
What do you call a four-legged, three-eyed, mute, deaf, transgender, African-American, handicapped, e**..., cancer-riddled, rich, thrice-divorced, tired, fashionable, pansexual, elderly factory worker?
I don't know.
An American couple adopt a German infant...
He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.
Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.
Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.
Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?
Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.
What Did the blind man say to the mute?
I really can't see what your saying
When a mute prophet is predicting the end of the world,
that's a sign of the end times.
What do you call a mute soldier?
An unsung hero
Did you hear about the mute couple that got married?
Can't say I do.
What did the mute person say to his cheating girlfriend?
Nothing.
The mute chicken
Why did the mute chicken leave his cheating girlfriend at the side of the road.
He couldn't give a cluck
A woman is supposedly home alone and sees a figure from behind in her kitchen.
She creeps forward and grabs the figure by the t**... and asks, "who are you?"
Only silence.
She squeezes hard this time and asks, "who are you?"
Still silence.
She smashes the t**... in her hand and yells, "who are you?"
The figure whispers, "John".
The woman asks, "John WHO?!"
The figure whispers, "John, The Mute."
What is a joke no one has heard before?
The one told by mute people.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
My mute son and I got into a fight today...
We're not on speaking terms.
Star Wars names are just regular words if you put a random space somewhere:
Mos Quito
Que Sadilla
Scu Bagear
Syn Tax
Rev Erse
Mala Mute
Trypto Phan
Cano Nical
Impo Tent
Slee Papnea
A mute guy, a deaf guy and a drunk guy walk into a bar...
The mute guy says
What are you guys having to drink?
The deaf guy realizes that the mute just somehow talked and asks him
How come you just spoke if you're mute?
The drunk guy starts to come to his senses about the situation that the supposed deaf guy somehow heard the supposed mute guy. He asks them,
Wait how come you just spoke when you're mute AND he just heard you when he is supposed to be deaf?!?
The bartender says,
Hey who's that drunk guy talking to?
What do you say to a mute man with no arms and no legs?
Doesn't matter what you say. He can't do anything about it.
Everyone keeps on complaining about my offensive jokes but,
whenever I make fun of mute people they don't even say a word!
I heard there were some mute pigeons that unsuccessfully tried to overthrow the government.
It was a failed coo
What do you call a genetically altered picnic pest that can't speak?
A mute ant
I find mute vocalists to be the most inspirational people
They truly are unsung heroes
A blind man, a deaf man, and a mute man like a woman
The blind man, to impress her, says: "If I could see anything, I wish I could see your face."
The deaf man says: "If I could hear anything, I wish I could hear your voice."
The mute man says:
