The Best 68 Musicians Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Musicians jokes. There are some musicians band jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these musicians jazz musician puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Musicians Jokes and Puns

A lot of my favorite musicians died young, but at least they went doing what they loved


I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:


Erika Badu

Vanilla Ice



Green Day



Nine inch Nails


George Strait

Ilene Woods

Vince Gill


Yoko ono

Otis Redding


Uncle Kracker

Pappa Roach

It is okay if you disagree just let me know, but first read the first letter of each line only.

Why would Koreans make great jazz musicians?

Because they have Seoul.

Just some jokes about musicians.

How do you know the stage at a concert is level?
Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth.

What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?

What do floutists eat for breakfast?
Flute loops.

How do you tune three oboeists?
Shoot 2 of them.

How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
One, they stand on the ladder holding the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them.

jokes about musicians

What do you call a group of homosexual musicians from India who never get to play out?

A Gay Raj band

What is a guy who hangs out with musicians called?

A singer

An observation by Adam Hills

"I have a slight theory as to why there's such a high percentage of obesity in America as compared to the rest of the world. I think it's because in 1984, a group of English and Irish musicians got together and put out a song that told us to 'feed the world'.
And then a year later, a group of American singers told us, 'We Are the World'"

Musicians joke, An observation by Adam Hills

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

a drummer ...

What do you call the crazy people who always hang out with musicians?

Bass players

At what age are musicians the loudest?


Old musicians don't die.

They just decompose.

You can explore musicians philharmonic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean musicians drummer dad jokes. There are also musicians puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

If women who hang out with a group of musicians and follow them around from gig-to-gig are called "groupies", what do you call the men who do the same thing?

They are called "bassists".

Two Musicians

Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"

The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."

What do you call the people that always are around musicians?

bass players.

what is the key to picking up girls who are musicians?

get a flat and be sharp

The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.

"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.

"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.

"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.

Musicians joke, The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical music

What do you call someone who hangs around with four musicians?

A drummer.


How do you get the guitarist off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.

Two classical musicians had sex for the first time together.

Woman: "That's a pretty small organ you're playing down there."

Man: "Well, I didn't know I would be performing in Carnegie Hall tonight."

Musicians are perverts.

The drummer sits in the back beating it, the guitarist is constantly fingering minors, the bassist is slapping it around, and they all like the pianist.

What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common?

Neither of them are musicians.

Which two musicians are famous for saying, "What?"

Lil' Jon and Beethoven.

Why do so many blues musicians come from Korea?

Theres a lot of Seoul

Why do jazz musicians prefer to drive crappy old cars?

Because they're always making a new sound.

Did you hear about the musicians who murdered a guest at the concert?

It was very cleverly orchestrated.

Did you know Kurt Cobain constantly criticized other musicians and bands?

He was always shooting his mouth off.

If the musicians, Ice T and Lemonade formed a band, what would it be called?

Arnold Palmer

Musicians joke, If the musicians, Ice T and Lemonade formed a band, what would it be called?

What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

Don't upset jazz musicians

They might snap

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Cruise, and Bruce Willis said they wanted to star in a movie about classical musicians.

Bruce Willis said I'll play Mozart!

Tom Cruise said I'll play Beethoven!

Arnold said I'll be Bach

What's the difference between a soprano and a porsche?

Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche

How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

100 - 1 to actually do it, and 99 to say how they would do it better.

It's 2015. Bill Clinton is whipping up celebrity endorsements for Hillary with a Halloween party. He invites his friend, Arnold Schwarzenegger and suggests they go as dead presidents for the media. Too cliche says Arnie. What about dead musicians. Great idea. I'll be Coltrane. What about you?

I'll be Bach.

What's Ted Nugent's favorite book?

The musicians guide to fingering A Minor.

I wonder if church musicians and surgeons ever hang out

They could just chill and talk about organs

I had to pay for everything when I went out with a couple classical musicians

they were completely baroque.

As the Titanic sank, the musicians remained on deck and continued to play music as the ship went down.

The captain had said "aBandOn Ship", so they really had no choice.

How many country musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to change the bulb and 5 to sing about how much they miss the old one.

What do you call a group of classically trained, gender fluid, Russian musicians?

A Trans Siberian Orchestra

What do you call two classical musicians ending their relationship?

They baroque up

Why do jazz musicians love Korea?

Because it's got Seoul.

Bad musicians can be scary.

But their Bach is worse than their bite.

Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life.

Which is great for engineers, but really sad for musicians.

What Do They Tell Musicians About Crossing the Road?

C sharp or you'll B flat.

True musicians never die.

They just start decomposing.

Musicians really need to do something about that E minor

It always gives me the E B G Bs

Musicians writing books

I want to write a book about Musicians that write books about their music, I will call it Simon & Schuster and Garfunkel.

A coach full of musicians has broken down on the motorway

Police have said to expect some lengthy jams

If a professional piano player is a pianist..

..then a professional race player is a racist?

*rap musicians scurrying about*

What happens to musicians when they die

They de-compose

A movie studio is casting roles for a documentary about classical musicians.

Tom Cruise says I'll play the part of Mozart
Liam Neeson says I'll make a great Beethoven
Arnold Schwarzenegger says I'll be Bach

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his friends are acting in a short film about classical pianists and musicians


One of friends says, "I'll play Beethoven."

Another says, "I'll be Mozart."


In the end, Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."

what do musicians in hell win?


Why do musicians make great scavengers?

They're always luting.

For the musicians out there:

Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to change the bulb and four to bitch about how it's electric.

Musicians! How do you make one million dollars playing jazz?

You start with two mil. Ba-dum-tss!

Killer whales are great musicians but there's one instrument they just won't play

The orcana

Musicians never die

They just decompose.

Did you know that the first ever musicians were also mathematicians?

Their music was based off log-rhythms

There was a time where all musicians and composers were broke

It was during the Baroque period.

What do you call a group of Soviet musicians undergoing sexual reassignment?

Trans Siberian Orchestra

Why are Dubstep musicians so bad at making pizza?

Because they always drop the base!

What do you call a person that follows musicians around from show to show?

A drummer.

What do you call an orgy involving famous musicians?

A release party.

In 'Dungeons and Dragons' because bards are musicians...

Surely they can only use scale mail?

Why are dubstep musicians terrible at fishing?

They always drop the bass

What do you call the guy that travels from city to city with musicians?

The drummer.

What do you call a group of nurses who are musicians?

>!Band aides!<

How many ska musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to drop the bulb and two to yell "pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!!!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the musicians beatles puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working musicians guitarist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes