The Best 80 Musical Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Musical jokes. There are some musical quartet jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these musical symphony puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Musical Jokes and Puns

I would never hit someone with a musical instrument...

I don't like to resort to violins

Musical Contradiction

Piano is my forte.

Who always wins at musical chairs?

Rosa Parks

Musical joke, Who always wins at musical chairs?

Accordion to a recent survey, most people don't notice when a musical instrument is inserted into a sentence.

Sean Connery has been scouring Israel for ancient musical instruments.

When asked about his progress, he replied, "I've only found one shofar."

What do you call the musical Messiah?


What musical group is Jesus most afraid of?

Nine Inch Nails

Musical joke, What musical group is Jesus most afraid of?

Why are old printers so musical?

Because they are prone to jamming.


Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

What type of pasta is most likely to cheat for a musical award?


Have you ever seen Puns: The Musical?

If not, you really should. It's a great play on words.

You can explore musical musically reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean musical orchestra dad jokes. There are also musical puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A landscaper's favourite musical genre?


What's the name of a musical collaboration between Shia LaBeouf and a Judge?

A just duet.

So there's this school play...

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.

Stallone goes first.

"I'll be Mozart"

Next up is Chuck Norris.

"I'll be Beethoven".

Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

What makes a barbershop quartet sound so amazing?

They're on the cutting edge of musical innovation.

What a group of musical chemists called?

Butane Clan

Musical joke, What a group of musical chemists called?

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".


Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".


Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

What's a whales favorite musical group?

An orcastra

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

Have you heard of the musical condoms?

They started a rubber band.

What was Michael Jackson's favourite musical key?

A Minor

What's a paedophile's favourite musical scale?

A minor

Our President Elect is a real tough guy...

The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.

What do you call a musical wreath made from $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

I like musical instruments that you blow into. They're pretty...


Which musical instrument does Vladimir Putin know how to play best?

The TRUMPet!

What do kings call musical chairs?

A game of thrones.

I'm writing a musical about a rag-tag team of Breitbart columnists standing up to the mainstream media elites.

It's called Fake Newsies.

What do you get when you combine a gay man and a Jew?

A hit Broadway musical

What musical instrument do you get if you fill a 55-gallon drum with fish?

A bass drum.

Accordion to scientific studies, 90% ..

of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.

What's an emo's favorite musical instrument?

The forearm violin.

What do you call ten whales playing musical instruments?

An orca-stra 😊

What do you call a bunch of musical condoms?

A rubber band

Why was the musical R-rated?

Because there was lots of Sax and Violins.

What's the difference between puberty and musical notes?

Not too much. Tenors can't seem to hit either.

I was bullied a lot in school.

Eventually I went on to musical success. Years down the line, I stopped in my hometown to do a show. It turned out the biggest of my bullies was hired to handle my displays.

I watched for a while as he tried to put up some cardboard cutouts of myself. Every time he would set one up, another one fell over.

Now that I'm in charge, he can't stand up two me's.

What do you call a musical equation that a former Vice President composes?

An algorithm

(Credit to my girlfriend)

What does a musical dog do?

he bach

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table

I got the lead role!

I was reading this survey the other day

And accordion to it, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected

What do you call a group of musical whales?

An Orcastra!

What's Kevin Spacey's favourite musical note?

A minor

What's a leper's favorite musical?


Now that there is a musical about Alexander Hamilton, I'm going to make a Musical about the founding of the Webster's English Dictionary

It's going to be a play on words

I come from a very musical family

Even the sewing machine's a singer

What do you call a chance to try a fishy broth at a classy musical event?

An opera-tuna-tea.

My ears are still ringing from my wife's groan.

9/10 people.

Accordion to research, 9/10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

"My favourite musical composer has gone missing!"

"Don't worry, I've got your Bach"

What do you call a musical puppy?

A subwoofer

Who's the most musical snake in the army?

Major scales.

What are the most musical letters of the alphabet?

P and O

I told my therapist about my compulsion to methodically disrupt live musical performances.

She said, That's disconcerting.

Accordion to studies, its very easy to hide musical instruments in every day sentences.

I find that harp to belive though.

What do you call a musical chicken?


What is the church's favorite musical chord?

G sus

In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook's right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...

Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee

Tchaikovsky, you cannot use instruments of war as musical instruments

Tchaikovsky: I cannon I will

I live in a musical house,

Actually it's A Flat.

"Rincewind, all the shops have been smashed open, there was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"

"Yeah, Luters I expect." --Terry Pratchet, The Light Fantastic

What is the priest's favorite musical note?

A minor.

What do you call a musical group made of rubber?

An elastic band.

How do you call a musical group consisting of all existing genders?

A duet

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Read it slowly.

What's R Kelly's favorite musical key?

A Minor

Interesting Research

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Survey says

Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.

Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger are hanging out

Danny suggests they do some musical reenactment. Arnold, being the nice guy that he is agrees and let's Danny choose who he will be. Danny chooses Mozart. As for Arnold, he'll be Bach

Nowadays there's too many musical instruments

It seems today, that all you see is violins in movies and sax on TV

I wanna become a musical comedian

Sadly, none of my jokes are noteworthy...

What is the most musical animal?

The fish, they got scales

My ex is a musician. Her musical instrument and I had a lot in common.

We both got played, constantly.


Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence, often goes undetected.

Who is a grain harvester's favorite musical artist?

Hall'n Oates

3,000 male cows are playing musical chairs. What happens when the music stops?

A whole lot of bulls sit.

What do you get when you lock a Jewish man and a gay man in a room for a week?

One hell of a musical.

What's the most musical animal?

A hip hopopotamus

What do you call a musical garden figure who often rides the subway?

A metrognome.

Recent study

Accordion to a recent survey, 90% of people
don't notice when you replace words with names of musical instruments.

A bunch of hooligans are smashing up my shop and stealing musical instruments

Damn luters!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the musical duet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working musical knock knock music piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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