Musical Jokes

181 musical jokes and hilarious musical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about musical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Find out why musical instruments, musical theatre & musical notes have been the source of amusement for centuries. We'll show you the best musical jokes around & explore musical ideas for Christmas, Halloween, and even musical chairs! Plus, learn about bluegrass, philharmonic, and musically-inspired humor.

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Funniest Musical Short Jokes

Short musical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The musical humour may include short musician jokes also.

  1. How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music? They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.
  2. Our President Elect is a real tough guy... The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a broadway musical.
  3. Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument.
  4. Accordion to scientific studies, 90% .. of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.
  5. I almost lost my job as a DJ at a country music station I accidentally played the same three songs for five hours. Fortunately, our listeners didn't seem to notice.
  6. When I was young, I thought rich people owned Bose music systems and the rest of us had Sony products. Turns out those were just stereotypes.
  7. Really awkward pick-up line. Me: You look like my first wife.
    Her: (surprised) How many wives have you had?
    Me: None
    *wedding music starts playing*
  8. When Mozart died, you could hear his music playing backwards at his grave. He was decomposing.
  9. I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought
  10. Two wind turbines are talking to each other... One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?"
    The other turbine replies, "Well...I'm a big metal fan."

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Musical One Liners

Which musical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with musical? I can suggest the ones about artistic and singing.

  1. My neighbors listen to awesome music whether they like it or not.
  2. Someone keyed the music teacher's car Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor
  3. What kind of music do wind turbines like? They're huge metal fans
  4. How many pilots does it take to make good music? Apparently at least 22
  5. I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic. It's syncing now.
  6. What's a pirate's favorite musical note? The High Cs
  7. What musical group is Jesus most afraid of? Nine Inch Nails
  8. I can hear music coming out of my printer... I think the papers jammin' again
  9. A father asks his child, "Could you please stop listening to Korean music?" "K, pop."
  10. My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music. I told him, "K pop"
  11. My neighbours are always listening to loud music whether they want to or not.
  12. My friend failed his aboriginal Music class... I asked him "Did'ja redo it?"
  13. what is a 4 person rock group that doesn't play music mount rushmore
  14. What is a windmill's favorite kind of music? I've heard they're huge metal fans...
  15. Why do North Koreans hate jazz music? They don't have Seoul.

Musical Instrument Jokes

Here is a list of funny musical instrument jokes and even better musical instrument puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • After hearing me sing, my music teacher said that I should be tenor. Ten or twelve feet away from all musical instruments at all times.
  • What did the guitar at the music store say to the customer browsing through their selection of stringed instruments? "Pick Me!! Pick Me!!!!!"
  • My ex is a musician. Her musical instrument and I had a lot in common. We both got played, constantly.
  • Nowadays there's too many musical instruments It seems today, that all you see is violins in movies and sax on TV
  • Survey says Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
  • What's a pothead's favorite musical instrument? bag pipes
  • A man walks into his orchestra rehearsal... carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument.
    The conductor asks him Will you need any sheet music?
    The man replies, Nah, I'll play it by ear.
  • I would never hit someone with a musical instrument... I don't like to resort to violins
  • Tchaikovsky, you cannot use instruments of war as musical instruments Tchaikovsky: I cannon I will
  • Sean Connery has been scouring Israel for ancient musical instruments. When asked about his progress, he replied, "I've only found one shofar."

Musical Genre Jokes

Here is a list of funny musical genre jokes and even better musical genre puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If we all end up going to jail for downloading music...... I at least hope they separate us by music genre.
  • What are windmills' favorite genre of music? They're big metal fans
  • Why are accordions like chameleons? They can blend into any musical genre.
  • What is a mummy's favourite genre of music? Wrap music.
  • North Korea has declared a 'cultural war' on K-pop coming in from the South. They decided the best way to counter this would be to creat their own genre of music. They have named it K-Boom.
  • What is the one genre of music that Ed Sheeran can never play? Soul
  • What genre of music is a balloons least favorite? Pop
  • What is a mummies favorite genre of music? Wrap
  • What genre is the National Anthem? Country Music
  • What genre of music sounds scary to a balloon? Pop music.
Musical joke, What genre of music sounds scary to a balloon?

Musical Note Jokes

Here is a list of funny musical note jokes and even better musical note puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the accordion player go to hell? He tried to outplay the devil in a musical duel, but lost by one too many polka notes.
  • What did the music thief do in college? Take notes.
  • A thief was expelled from music school. It was a bit unfair, all he was doing was taking notes.
  • Why did the music note drop out of college? Because it couldn't pick a major
  • What is the priest's favorite musical note? A minor.
  • I got in trouble in school today I was caught passing notes in music class.
  • What's the difference between puberty and musical notes? Not too much. Tenors can't seem to hit either.
  • Listening to music can be dangerous... Some of the notes are sharp.
  • When a mine shaft collapses it's known to make a specific musical tone when the air rushes through the tunnels. What note is it? A flat miner
  • What's Kevin Spacey's favourite musical note? A minor

Mozart Musical Jokes

Here is a list of funny mozart musical jokes and even better mozart musical puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • They dug up Mozart's grave. When they opened the casket he was madly erasing his music... Of course, he was de-composing.
  • A few hundred years ago, Mozart was composing beautiful music But for a while now, hes only been de-composing.
  • Shortly after Mozart's death, all his music started disappearing but people couldn't figure out why. Turns out he was just de-composing in his grave.
  • People visited Mozart grave when he died. But when they got there, music started playing, and people couldn't figure why. It confused every scientist.
    But I figured it out,
    Mozart was decomposing
  • So they dug up Mozart's Grave... They found him erasing all of his music, "What are you doing?" "I'm Decomposing"
  • Classical music is such a scam... You pay hundreds of dollars to go see Mozart live and in concert, and every time it's just a cover band
  • Did you hear about the weird music that plays at Mozarts grave.... Don't worry, He's decomposing.
  • You know what mozarts favorite type of music is? s**...

Musical Theatre Jokes

Here is a list of funny musical theatre jokes and even better musical theatre puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What sort of pasta do you use if you want to fix a musical theatre award? Rigatoni
  • I'm in a 12 step program for musical theatre addicts. I'm on step 5, 6, 7, and!
Musical joke, I'm in a 12 step program for musical theatre addicts.

Humorous Musical Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about musical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vocal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make musical pranks.

Young women marrying old rich guys is a lot like musical chairs.

The last one to sit on it wins.

Musical Contradiction

Piano is my forte.

Did you hear about the famous musical gay trio?

They finally decided on a name: Soh Doh Mi

Who always wins at musical chairs?

rosa Parks

What us the most musical kind of computer?


A musical joke...

So G# is in a bar when the bartender says
"Hey! Your the seventh minor I've seen here tonite!"

What do you call a terrible performance of Han Solo: The Musical?

A rebel without applause.

What do you call a musical instrument made of gelatin?

A jello!

What do you call the musical Messiah?


Why are old printers so musical?

Because they are prone to jamming.

The musical doctor

Man: Doctor Doctor I need a cure for my depression.
Doctor: Music is great therapy, here, I'll loan you my old guitar, it's broken but you should get some use out of it.
Man: Hang on, why would you lend me your guitar just like that? Is there some sort of hidden clause in this?
Doctor: Don't worry, there's no strings attached.
ba dum tss.


Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

What type of pasta is most likely to cheat for a musical award?


What is a fisherman's favorite musical instrument?

The bass guitar.

What musical instrument should you never, ever trust?

The Lyre.

Have you ever seen Puns: The Musical?

If not, you really should. It's a great play on words.

A landscaper's favourite musical genre?


What's the name of a musical collaboration between Shia LaBeouf and a Judge?

A just duet.

So there's this school play...

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.
Stallone goes first.
"I'll be Mozart"
Next up is Chuck Norris.
"I'll be Beethoven".
Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

Which musical chord is the most holy?


What's musical and useful at the grocery store?

A Chopin Liszt
Note: taken from one of those horrible "Joke of the Day" desk calendars. It took almost 12 months to get something clever.

I'm currently writing a musical about diggers trapped in a mine.

I think it's gonna be in the key of A-flat minor.

What makes a barbershop quartet sound so amazing?

They're on the cutting edge of musical innovation.

What a group of musical chemists called?

Butane Clan

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".
Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".
Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

You hear in his will Prince left a bunch of large musical instruments to churches?

Turns out he was *a big o**... donor.*

What's a whales favorite musical group?

An orcastra

So I wrote a Musical

It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed.

I decided to write it in A flat minor.

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

Have you heard of the musical condoms?

They started a rubber band.

What was Michael Jackson's favourite musical key?

A Minor

What's a p**...'s favourite musical scale?

A minor

I asked my priest which musical instruments he plays.

"Mostly just piano," he replied, "but when I'm at work I sometimes dabble with a little o**...."

What do you call a musical wreath made from $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

I like musical instruments that you blow into. They're pretty...


I like musical dramas.

They really strike a chord with me.

Which musical instrument does Vladimir Putin know how to play best?

The TRUMPet!

What do kings call musical chairs?

A game of thrones.

Cafe Chit Chat

At a local cafe, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night! An old granny overheard and spoke up, Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!

I'm writing a musical about a rag-tag team of Breitbart columnists standing up to the mainstream media elites.

It's called Fake Newsies.

What do you get when you combine a gay man and a Jew?

A hit Broadway musical

What musical instrument do you get if you fill a 55-gallon drum with fish?

A bass drum.

What's an emo's favorite musical instrument?

The forearm violin.

What do you call ten whales playing musical instruments?

An orca-stra 😊

Trump was asked what his favorite musical instrument is, and said "Trumpet."

He was asked what his favorite topic is, and said "Tropics."
He was asked what his favorite multiplier is, said "Triple."
He was asked what he favorite reason is, said "Treaso-...shut up."

What do you call a bunch of musical condoms?

A rubber band

Why was the musical R-rated?

Because there was lots of Sax and Violins.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that plays 15 musical instruments?

Stump the Band

My friend asked me why did I choose Harmonica as my musical instrument

I said "I s**... half the time so I decided why not"

I was bullied a lot in school.

Eventually I went on to musical success. Years down the line, I stopped in my hometown to do a show. It turned out the biggest of my bullies was hired to handle my displays.
I watched for a while as he tried to put up some cardboard cutouts of myself. Every time he would set one up, another one fell over.
Now that I'm in charge, he can't stand up two me's.

What do you call a musical equation that a former Vice President composes?

An algorithm
(Credit to my girlfriend)

What does a musical dog do?

he bach

What's a Bostonian's favorite musical?


I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table

I got the lead role!

Which cheese has the most musical talent of them all?

Why, it's gotta be the one and only MOZARTrella.

What do you call a group of musical whales?

An Orcastra!

How do you prepare musical seafood?

You tune a fish.

What's a l**...'s favorite musical?


Now that there is a musical about Alexander Hamilton, I'm going to make a Musical about the founding of the Webster's English Dictionary

It's going to be a play on words

I come from a very musical family

Even the sewing machine's a singer

What do you call a chance to try a fishy broth at a classy musical event?

An opera-tuna-tea.
My ears are still ringing from my wife's groan.

Where do musical notes go surfing?

On sound waves.

Did you hear the government took all the musical instruments

They were band

"My favourite musical composer has gone missing!"

"Don't worry, I've got your Bach"

What do you call a musical puppy?

A subwoofer

Who's the most musical snake in the army?

Major scales.

What are the most musical letters of the alphabet?

P and O

This whole time…

I thought Panera was a musical artist!

You know the ironic thing about the musical Hamilton?

You'd be lucky to see Hamilton live, but none of us were lucky enough to see Hamilton *live*.

What does a sword and a musical instrument have in common?

They both know how to b sharp.

I told my therapist about my compulsion to methodically disrupt live musical performances.

She said, That's disconcerting.

Yes i do come from a musical household i live in...


Hey, I understand now. Trump's just trying to turn his presidency into his favorite musical.

The Lyin' King.

Musical joke, Hey, I understand now. Trump's just trying to turn his presidency into his favorite musical.

jokes about musical