Music Jokes
168 music jokes and hilarious music puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about music that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out funny music jokes for teachers, students, and musicians. Laugh out loud with jokes about blues, orchestral, and venues. Get the best music jokes for your next performance!
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- Short Music Jokes
- Music One Liners
- Metal Music Jokes
- Instrumental Music Jokes
- Music Instruments Jokes
- Classical Music Jokes
- More Music Jokes
Funniest Music Short Jokes
Short music jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The music humour may include short songs jokes also.
- How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music? They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.
- Our President Elect is a real tough guy... The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a broadway musical.
- Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument.
- Accordion to scientific studies, 90% .. of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.
- I almost lost my job as a DJ at a country music station I accidentally played the same three songs for five hours. Fortunately, our listeners didn't seem to notice.
- When I was young, I thought rich people owned Bose music systems and the rest of us had Sony products. Turns out those were just stereotypes.
- Really awkward pick-up line. Me: You look like my first wife.
Her: (surprised) How many wives have you had?
Me: None
*wedding music starts playing* - When Mozart died, you could hear his music playing backwards at his grave. He was decomposing.
- I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought
- Two wind turbines are talking to each other... One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?"
The other turbine replies, "Well...I'm a big metal fan."
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Music One Liners
Which music one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with music? I can suggest the ones about audio and arts.
- My neighbors listen to awesome music whether they like it or not.
- Someone keyed the music teacher's car Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor
- What kind of music do wind turbines like? They're huge metal fans
- How many pilots does it take to make good music? Apparently at least 22
- I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic. It's syncing now.
- What's a pirate's favorite musical note? The High Cs
- What musical group is Jesus most afraid of? Nine Inch Nails
- I can hear music coming out of my printer... I think the papers jammin' again
- A father asks his child, "Could you please stop listening to Korean music?" "K, pop."
- My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music. I told him, "K pop"
- My neighbours are always listening to loud music whether they want to or not.
- My friend failed his aboriginal Music class... I asked him "Did'ja redo it?"
- what is a 4 person rock group that doesn't play music mount rushmore
- What is a windmill's favorite kind of music? I've heard they're huge metal fans...
- Why do North Koreans hate jazz music? They don't have Seoul.
Metal Music Jokes
Here is a list of funny metal music jokes and even better metal music puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two wind turbines... Two wind turbines are in a field when one turns to the other:
He says: "What's your favourite type of music"
The second one says: "Actually I'm a huge metal fan" - Two windmills are sitting on a hill. One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The other windmill replies "I'm a big metal fan."
- Two windmills stood on a hill with a radio. One turned to his friend and asked, What's your favourite music?
The other windmill said, I'm a big metal fan. - Two Wind turbines are in a field. One turns to the other and asks: " what is your type of music ?"
"i'm a huge metal fan" - What are windmills' favorite genre of music? They're big metal fans
- Two electric windmills are standing in a field. One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The second one replies "I'm a huge metal fan".
- Two windmills were hanging out in a field. One windmill asked the other, what type of music do you like? The other responded, I'm a huge metal fan.
- One windmill asked another what kind of music it likes The other windmill responded "I'm a big metal fan"
- Two windmills stand on a hill. The first says, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other answers, "I'm a big metal fan." - Two wind turbines were talking One asked the other, "What's your favorite kind of music? "
The other replied, "Well I'm a big Metal Fan"
Instrumental Music Jokes
Here is a list of funny instrumental music jokes and even better instrumental music puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- After hearing me sing, my music teacher said that I should be tenor. Ten or twelve feet away from all musical instruments at all times.
- What did the guitar at the music store say to the customer browsing through their selection of stringed instruments? "Pick Me!! Pick Me!!!!!"
- My ex is a musician. Her musical instrument and I had a lot in common. We both got played, constantly.
- Nowadays there's too many musical instruments It seems today, that all you see is violins in movies and sax on TV
- Survey says Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
- What's a pothead's favorite musical instrument? bag pipes
- A man walks into his orchestra rehearsal... carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument.
The conductor asks him Will you need any sheet music?
The man replies, Nah, I'll play it by ear. - I would never hit someone with a musical instrument... I don't like to resort to violins
- Tchaikovsky, you cannot use instruments of war as musical instruments Tchaikovsky: I cannon I will
- Sean Connery has been scouring Israel for ancient musical instruments. When asked about his progress, he replied, "I've only found one shofar."
Music Instruments Jokes
Here is a list of funny music instruments jokes and even better music instruments puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's an emo's favorite musical instrument? The forearm violin.
- A musician walks in to a music store. "I'm looking for an instrument that goes *ding*." he says.
"*Ding*?" asks the confused shopkeeper.
The musician replies "You'll do fine." - I saw a new music shop in town that only services instruments made between the years 1600 and 1750. "If It Ain't Baroque, Don't Fix It"
- What do you call ten whales playing musical instruments? An orca-stra 😊
- On the last day of music class, students were told not to bring their instruments. The choir kids had a hard time
- What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments? An orca-stra.
- What musical instrument do you get if you fill a 55-gallon drum with fish? A bass drum.
- Which musical instrument does Vladimir Putin know how to play best? The TRUMPet!
- I like musical instruments that you blow into. They're pretty... *Breathtaking*
- What do you call a musical instrument made of gelatin? A jello!
Classical Music Jokes
Here is a list of funny classical music jokes and even better classical music puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Mama and Papa did not let me listen to classical or jazz music as a kid. Too much sax and violins, apparently.
- My therapist told me to listen to classical music before work to help with my anger management issues. This morning I woke up and chose violins.
- I bought A LOT of classical music yesterday... ...I went on a Chopin spree!
- Suddenly I hear classical music coming from a grave, sounds like its being played backwards? Oh, that's just Beethoven decomposing .
- Symphony of puns i never let my kids listen to jazz or classical music...
Too much sax or violins can only lead to treble! - In what order do you play Classical Music Songs? Bach to Bach.
- Earlier today I heard Classical music coming from my wallet.. I opened it, and realised I had 3 tenners in it...
- What do you call a microorganism that listens to Classical music? Bach-teria
- I'm pretty sure chickens love classical music All I hear from them is "bach bach bach bach bach"
- Arnold Scwharzanegger gets a call from his agent about a feature length film based around classical music. When asked which character he'd most like to play, 'I'll be Bach'.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Music Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about music you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean playlist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make music pranks.
Tip: when making a s**... tape, play Disney music in the background.
That way, if it ever gets leaked online, Disney attorneys will have them all taken down.
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally n**.... Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're n**...!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're n**...!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me".
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing"...
I got a phone call from my son's school today
Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?
Yes, how can I help you?
Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling
Oh, hi
Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!
Really? Wow! That's..
Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet
If you like to have s**... while listening to music, always pick a live album
... that way you'll get applauded every 3-4 minutes
Music Joke
A C chord and an A chord walk into a bar.
The bartender says to the C chord "I'm sorry, I can't serve your friend; even though he's your relative, he's still a minor."
A reporter is interviewing Stevie Wonder
They talk about all the amazing music he has created over the years and the incredible things he has done with his life and as a last question the reporter asks:
"But don't you wish you hadn't been born blind?"
and Stevie replies "Hey, it could've been much worse - I could have been born black"
Did any of you hear about that p**... music teacher?
The one who broke a G string while f**... A minor.
The guys go to the f**... of their life-long pal...
After a long eulogy and some beautiful music, the guys are overcome with emotion. The first guy walks up to the casket of his buddy.
"I know it's just a small token, but for everything you've ever done for me, buddy, all the times you helped me out. This is the least I could do."
He tucks a $50 bill into his buddy's tuxedo pocket, and he staggers away sobbing.
The second man, inspired by the gesture, walks up and places his own $50 bill in his buddy's pocket. "For all the beers you bought me, that I never had a chance to pay you back for." And he staggers away sobbing.
The third man, a lawyer, not to be out-done, says, "I know it's just a small gesture, but for all the times you've been there for me when I needed you, here's a token of my gratitude."
And he writes a check for $150, and takes the two fifties in change.
So Chris Brown has quit music...
Unsurprisingly, he has beaten Rihanna to it.
Strange music
In Vienna, the great composer Mr. Beethoven had recently died and been buried in the city cemetery, with much mourning by the Viennese citizens.
A few nights after the burial, the town drunk is stumbling on his way home through the cemetery. All of a sudden he hears some very strange-sounding music wafting up from Beethoven's fresh burial plot. Terrified, the man runs through the streets, screaming about ghosts in the graveyard.
Pretty soon he's gathered quite a crowd around the grave, all muttering to each other about devils and ghosts. Finally one man makes his way to the front of the crowd, squats down by the grave, and listens.
"Why... that's Beethoven's Ninth Sympony, but... it's playing backwards!" He listens some more. "There's his Eighth Symphony, also backwards! ... And the seventh.... sixth..."
Finally he stands up and addresses the crowd. "My good people, you have nothing to fear. This is simply Mr. Beethoven decomposing."
If we all end up going to jail for downloading music......
I at least hope they separate us by music genre.
Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music?
Mount Rushmore.
How do you get a musician off your porch?
Pay for the pizza.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Man, I wish I had paid for all that music...
Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.
He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
My son asked me what it was like to be married
I deleted all the music off his iPod except one song.
TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.
FINNISH HYMN!!!
Why the musician sold his computer...
Not enough gigs.
What do you call a rock group of 4 men who don't sing or play music?
Mount Rushmore.
^^Or ^^Nickelback. ^^I'm ^^so ^^sorry.
I had to check my printer because I thought I heard music coming from it.
It was the paper jamming.
Sorry, tuba players...
A father decides to put his son in a music class. The teacher assigns him the tuba and the dad goes home, leaving his kid there.
When the child comes home, the dad asks "What did you do today?"
The child said "I learned how to play the C Note!"
The next day, the dad asks "What did you do today?"
The child said "I learned how to play the G Note!"
The next day, the dad asks "What did you do today?"
"I joined the orchestra!"
why is rain the best kind of music?
because it has amazing drops.
A Guy Is In A Waiting Room When..
A guy is in a waiting room and has to f**..., so he waits for the music to get loud and farts to the beat so no one hears him. He looks up for a moment and everyone is staring at him. He takes out his headphones and says "what??"
What kind of music does a pirate like?
Arrr'n'B
My neighbours listen to good music
Whether they want to or not
Why did the musician give his daughters the same name?
So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"
Musicians are perverts.
The drummer sits in the back beating it, the guitarist is constantly f**... minors, the bassist is slapping it around, and they all like the pianist.
If Prince is dead then...
Is his music now "royalty-free"?
How do you get a guitar player to shut up?
Put sheet music in front of him
What's a feminists favorite music festival?
Burning Man.
what type of music does a balloon hate?
Pop music
All these video games with epic orchestral music scores.
Those concerned mums were right, there's way too much violins in video games.
My music teacher at school told me never to hit a drum again or I could get in serious trouble.
I did, and he was right. There was serious re-percussions
Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever,
of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing.
A boy came home with a C+ in music.
He said with great vigor, "I got an A-"
What letter do pirate's hate the most?
Dear Charter Internet Customer:
Charter Communications ("Charter") has been notified by a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, that your Internet account may have been involved in the exchange of unauthorized copies of copyrighted material (e.g., music, movies, or software). We are attaching a copy of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) notice that Charter received from the copyright holder which includes the specific allegation.
Two prisoners were waiting to be executed.
"Any last requests?" asked the jailer.
"Yes," replied one of the prisoners. "I love music, so before I die could you play 'Never gonna give you up' by Rick Astley."
And the second prisoner said: "Kill me first."
Why did Van Gogh become a painter?
Because he didn't have an ear for music.
A devout Muslim entered a cab in London
He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio, because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music, because in the time of the prophet there was no music especially western music, which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab, and opened the door. The Arab asked him, "What are you doing?" The cabbie answered,
"In the time of the prophet, there were no taxis, so get off and wait for a camel!"
Two windmills are in a field.
One turns to the other and asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
"I'm a big metal fan" the other one replies.
What kind of music do windmills listen to?
They're all big metal fans.
Music can really take you to another place
Like this bar I'm in plays nickleback, so I'm leaving
My neighbors listen to great music
and I don't care if they want it or not.
Why was the musician arrested?
He fingered A Minor.
Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music?
Because they can only use OneNote!
I once stayed in a haunted house that played 70's music.
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
When Miley Cyrus gets n**... and licks a sledgehammer it's art and music
But when I do it I'm drunk and ruining the wedding
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They seem to be big heavy metal fans.
Sad news for music lovers today....
Justin Bieber was found in his hotel room, alive.
I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of Free Bird being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.
Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.
Your mind is like Chrome
13 open tabs, 3 frozen. And you don't know where the music is coming from
That awkward moment when the woman you're dancing with bends over so you can grind it...
But it turns out she just dropped an earing, and no one else in McDonald's can hear the music on your iPod.
They told Beethoven he couldn't make music because he was deaf
but he didn't listen
What happens if you sing country music in reverse?
You get your wife and job back.
My neighbours listen to great music
Whether they like it or not
"Why is there music coming out of your printer?"
"That will be the paper jamming again!"
A solar panel, a wind turbine and a hydro dam are all getting to know each other.
'What kind of music are you into?' asks the dam.
'I'm into trance', replies the solar panel.
'Ooh, too intense for me', dam says, 'I much prefer classical melodies, maybe a little 60s soul at the weekends.'
'What about you Mr Turbine? What are you into?'
'Me?' He replies, 'I'm a huge metal fan.'
So I did some research...
and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...
Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.
A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. Dad, what music did you like growing up?
I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin, the father replies.
Who? the son asks.
Yeah, the dad responds, I liked them too.
