Mushroom Jokes
166 mushroom jokes and hilarious mushroom puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mushroom that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Psychedelic mushroom jokes are the ones that will make you want more dirty puns. Whether you joke about a shiitake soup, or cute morel, mushroom related jokes are not rude at all.
Quick Jump To
- Short Mushroom Jokes
- Mushroom One Liners
- Mushroom Fungi Jokes
- Mushroom Head Jokes
- Mushroom Love Jokes
- Mushroom Science Jokes
- More Mushroom Jokes
Funniest Mushroom Short Jokes
Short mushroom jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mushroom humour may include short fungus jokes also.
- A joke I remember making up when I was 7 : What do you get when a giant steps on a house? Mushrooms
- Did you hear about the man who was obsessed with magic mushrooms? He was known as the fun guy … 🍄
- Why did the mushroom go to the party? 'Cos he's a fungi!
Why didn't he get in?
There wasn't mushroom! - My uncle always hated eating mushrooms... ...but now that he's dead, they're beginning to grow on him.
- My first wife died from eating poison mushrooms; my second wife died of a fractured skull... She wouldn't eat her mushrooms.
- My dog tried to tell me i ate the wrong kind of mushroom But by that point, i knew it was far too late
- I watched this documentary last night on mushrooms I think that's how I'm going to watch all of them from now on.
- Why's it a bad idea to eat mushrooms for dinner? Because you won't have mushroom left for dessert.
- You know, I think it's your turn to pick wild mushrooms. My girlfriend said. So I gather.
- A pizza shop owner was found dead covered in pepporoni, mushrooms, ham and pineapple. Word is...he topped himself.
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Mushroom One Liners
Which mushroom one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mushroom? I can suggest the ones about mussel and moss.
- How much space is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
- Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!
- What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends? There's not mushroom in here
- I can't put anymore toppings on my pizza... There's not mushroom
- TIL that ALL mushrooms are edible... Some only once though...
- Don't walk through a field of mushrooms It's quite a tripping hazard.
- How much room does fungi need to grow ? As mushroom as possible
- What kinda room has no doors and no windows? A mushroom.
- I was illegally hunting for mushrooms. I have questionable morels.
- Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom? Because it's a toad's tool.
- My wife went mushroom hunting all day and found nothing. I'm offering morel support.
- Why did I invite a mushroom to my cake day party? Because he was a fungi
- What room can you never enter? A mushroom.
(From my 5yo.) - Took my drivers test high on magic mushrooms. Passed with flying colors.
- Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fungi!
Mushroom Fungi Jokes
Here is a list of funny mushroom fungi jokes and even better mushroom fungi puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Classic Why'd the mushroom go to the party?
Cause he's a fungi!
Why'd the fungi leave the party?
Cause there wasn't mushroom! - Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because he was a fungi!
But why was he asked to leave?
Because there wasn't mushroom… - A mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says to it "We don't serve your kind here."
Mushroom says "But, why? I'm a fungi!" - A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says sorry I can't serve you. The mushroom replies why not, I'm a fungi.
- What do you call a mushroom with a 10-inch stem? A fungi to be with.
- Why did everyone invite mushroom to the party? Because he's a fungi.
- Who do you hang out with, a strawberry, a celery stick or a mushroom? The mushroom because he's a fungi.
- My mushroom just cracked a hilarious joke I have a feeling he is a Fungi
- Why did the Fungi leave the party? Because there wasn't mushroom
- Why did the mushroom want to goto a party? Because he was sure he was a fungi
Mushroom Head Jokes
Here is a list of funny mushroom head jokes and even better mushroom head puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My first two wives died from eating poisonous mushrooms, the third one died from a blow to the head. She didn't want to eat the mushrooms.
- My father says he works with a guy who has a mushroom growing out of his head I've never met him but he sounds like a fungi
- I love Toad from Super Mario you know, the little guy with the mushroom head. He always made me laugh.
He's a real fungi.
Mushroom Love Jokes
Here is a list of funny mushroom love jokes and even better mushroom love puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There's a new magazine for people who love mushrooms. Spores illustrated
- I never thought I'd fall in love with a mushroom but he makes me laugh so much! He's such a fungi!
- Everybody loves mushrooms They are fungi.
- I know a guy who loves mushrooms.. ...He's a real fun guy!
- The reason I love mushrooms Cause just like mushrooms...
I'm a fun guy. - Why did everyone love the mushroom at the party? He was a fungi.
Mushroom Science Jokes
Here is a list of funny mushroom science jokes and even better mushroom science puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Psychedelic mushrooms reduce authoritarianism and boost nature relatedness - science shows. Yeh - it's hard to salute when you're face down in the grass.
- [science] Where do mushrooms go to university? The mycollege.
- I hate b**... science It only focuses on the mushrooms
Gather Around for Heartwarming Mushroom Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about mushroom you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eggplant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mushroom pranks.
So two mushrooms walk into an elevator.
One turns to the other and says, "There's not mushroom in here is there?"
What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?
Fungi to be around!
My first wife died...
after eating a poisoned mushroom!
My second wife died of a poisoned mushroom!
My third wife died of a crushed skull.
She wouldn't eat the mushroom!
What did the lesbian mushroom say to the other lesbian mushroom during o**... s**...?
Umami.
So broccoli was having a conversation with some of his friends...
The broccoli said: "I look like a tree!"
The mushroom said: "I look like an umbrella!"
The walnut said: "I look like a brain!"
The banana said: "Can we please change the subject?"
Why is the mushroom so fun at parties?
He's a fungi.
What kind of room has no walls?
A mushroom!
So I ordered a pizza
I ordered a funghi pizza yesterday but I was pretty disappointed.. They obviously have mushroom for improvement
I just talked to the dude who sells me mushrooms.
He seemed like a fun guy.
Why did the Japanese guy get mad and kick the mushroom?
He was sick of all its shiitake.
I think I'm a mushroom
Everyone keeps me in the dark and feeds me b**....
My friend recently passed away after eating some poisonous mushrooms
It's pretty sad, he was a really fungi!
Why is the f**... such a hypocrite?
because it doesn't have mushroom to talk.
What do you call a p**... who likes mushrooms?
A spore.
What do you call a gossiping mushroom?
a shitalking mushroom.
I used to hang out with a guy who was covered in mushrooms.
He was an all around fun guy.
Marriage joke
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside?
A mushroom.
Every cloud has a silver lining...
... unless it's a mushroom cloud. Then it's likely strontium.
What did one mushroom say to the other mushroom after being teased for losing a game of tennis?
That's poor spore-tsmanship.
Had some mushrooms this morning.
Breakfast of Champignons.
I am a widower three times over.....
My first wife died when she ate some poisonous mushrooms from the yard.
My second wife died from eating the same mushrooms.
My third wife fell down the stairs because she wouldnt eat the mushrooms.
My first three wives...
"The first two ate poisonous mushrooms.
The third one took a shot to the head."
"Oh my lord" my friend says, "that is awful, who shot her?"
"I did," I say,
"She wasn't eating the poisonous mushrooms"
What do you call a mushroom that insults you behind your back?
s**...-talky.
A man in front of me just ordered mushrooms on his pizza...
He must be a funguy
Pie rates of the Caribbean joke
In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
I was going to grow a f**... farm in my backyard
but there wasn't mushroom.
What is a mushroom in a tent?
A Campingon.
Why was the mushroom the life of the party?
Because he was giving out free c**...
Why were there no vegetables in the bolognese?
There wasn't mushroom
Our local woods are full of mushrooms right now.
I'm always tripping on them
Why are mushroom hunters so selfish?
Because it's mycology, not yourcology!
What mushrooms are easiest to move around?
***Portabell***os
Whats the difference between stormtroopers haveing a party and mushrooms being picked?
One's bad guys having a fun time the other ones fungi having a bad time!
Why does everyone like hanging out with Mr. Mushroom?
Because he is a fungi
A Broccoli, Mushroom, Walnut and a Banana are having a discussion
Broccoli: I look like a tree!
Mushroom: I look like an umbrella!
walnut: I look like a brain!
Banana: You guys wanna talk about something else?
If getting ordinary words confused with types of mushrooms was an Olympic sport...
I'd be world champignon.
Hear about the mushroom who had to make a tough choice?
It was a big morrel dilemma.
What a fruit.
Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Can we change the topic please?
What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom?
Hey you look like a fun guy,
How much room do you need to grow f**...?
As mushroom as possible.
Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters?
He had no morel compass.
I once ate a quarter ounce of mushrooms and drove from Flint from Auburn hills while being lectured by a Giant Goldcap on why i'd never do mushrooms again.
Turns out, he was completely right.
Every morning I eat French mushrooms...
It's the breakfast of champignons
Dad joke: A woman goes to the doctor with...
A carrot in her ear, a mushroom in her nostril and a piece of steak on the other ear.
"I see" says the doctor. "You're not eating right"!
What happens if your car breaks down in the Mushroom Kingdom?
It gets Toad
Why did the girl mushroom go out with the boy mushroom?
She heard he was a Funguy
Once I went to a party dressed as a mushroom
I really am a fun-guy
When I was younger, I used to hate eating mushrooms, but now I think they're growing on me...
...and I can't get them off
What's it called when a mushroom reaches its c**...?
Sporegasm
What's Blue and lies under a mushroom ?
smurf p**...
What happened to the fungi who moved into a New York apartment?
He didn't have mush-room
My friend had mushrooms during the party
Now he's a fun guy
I used to have this amazing device that would lead me to the most delicious mushrooms
But now it seems i've lost my Morel Compass
Scientists say they may be able to synthesize a completely clean biofuel using the enzymes in finely shredded fungi, such as mushrooms...
Some critics have questioned the ethics of the process, but admit they are comforted by the researchers' strong Morel fibre.
Did you hear about the mushroom who parked illegally?
He was Toad.
Why did the fun guy tell everyone to get away from him?
Because they weren't leaving him mushroom to move around.
A mushroom goes into the hall of bad jokes and says I'd like to submit a joke of my people
The receptionist looks at him and says listen buddy we have so many bad jokes here that I'm not sure we can squeeze yours in. It has to be exceptionally bad, let me hear it.
Mushroom: so a shroom goes on a date with this girl and she says 'tell me about yourself' and he says 'well I'm a fungi!'
Receptionist: yeah that jokes bad but it's just not gonna cut it, we can't put it in,
We don't have mushroom.
