The Best 99 Mushroom Jokes

Psychedelic mushroom jokes are the ones that will make you want more dirty puns. Whether you joke about a shiitake soup, or cute morel, mushroom related jokes are not rude at all.

Top 10 of the Funniest Mushroom Jokes and Puns

So two mushrooms walk into an elevator.

One turns to the other and says, "There's not mushroom in here is there?"

What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?

Fungi to be around!

What did the mushroom put in his bio for the online dating service?

Im a fungi

Mushroom joke, What did the mushroom put in his bio for the online dating service?

My first wife died...

after eating a poisoned mushroom!

My second wife died of a poisoned mushroom!

My third wife died of a crushed skull.

She wouldn't eat the mushroom!

What did the lesbian mushroom say to the other lesbian mushroom during oral sex?

Umami.


So broccoli was having a conversation with some of his friends...

The broccoli said: "I look like a tree!"

The mushroom said: "I look like an umbrella!"

The walnut said: "I look like a brain!"

The banana said: "Can we please change the subject?"

Why don't fairies live under toadstools?

Because there's not mushroom!

Mushroom joke, Why don't fairies live under toadstools?

Classic

Why'd the mushroom go to the party?

Cause he's a fungi!

Why'd the fungi leave the party?

Cause there wasn't mushroom!

Why is the mushroom so fun at parties?

He's a fungi.

Why was the mushroom happy?

Because he was a fungi.

What did the mushroom say to the chef?

Don't eat me! I'm a fun guy!

You can explore mushroom turnips reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mushroom treebeard dad jokes. There are also mushroom puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What kind of room has no walls?

A mushroom!

Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom?

Because it's a toad's tool.

So I ordered a pizza

I ordered a funghi pizza yesterday but I was pretty disappointed.. They obviously have mushroom for improvement

Why did the Japanese guy get mad and kick the mushroom?

He was sick of all its shiitake.

I think I'm a mushroom

Everyone keeps me in the dark and feeds me bullshit.

Mushroom joke, I think I'm a mushroom

What do you call a female mushroom who happens to be a killjoy?

antifungal

What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator?

The shiitalkie mushroom.

Why is the fungus such a hypocrite?

because it doesn't have mushroom to talk.


What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends?

There's not mushroom in here

What do you call a gossiping mushroom?

a shitalking mushroom.

When I was in Paris, I got up early to get some food.

They had this huge mushroom buffet. Portabella, shiitake; Breakfast of champignons

Why did everyone invite mushroom to the party?

Because he's a fungi.

What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside?

A mushroom.

Honestly I don't like mushroom hunters

Some are nice, others just don't have any morels....

Every cloud has a silver lining...

... unless it's a mushroom cloud. Then it's likely strontium.

Why was the mushroom invited to the party?

He had a connection to a guy who could get cheap beer when buying in bulk, and he had connections to a family member of the host.

Oh and he was a fungi.

How much space is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

What did one mushroom say to the other mushroom after being teased for losing a game of tennis?

That's poor spore-tsmanship.

Had some mushrooms this morning.

Breakfast of Champignons.

Why did the Fungi leave the party?

Because there wasn't mushroom

How do you tell the gender of a mushroom?

It's either a fungi, or fungal.

What do you call a mushroom that insults you behind your back?

Shit-talky.

Why shouldn't you live in a house with Fungi?

Because there's not Mush-room!

What do you call a room with no walls, no windows and no door...

...A Mushroom

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

'Cos he's a fungi!

Why didn't he get in?

There wasn't mushroom!

My wife went mushroom hunting all day and found nothing.

I'm offering morel support.

Pie rates of the Caribbean joke

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for Β£1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for Β£1.60 and an apple pie for Β£2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you Β£2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is Β£1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for Β£1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at Β£2.50, but you can two for Β£3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is Β£2.25, or two for Β£3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for Β£2, or two for Β£3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for Β£2.75, or two (any combination) for Β£4.75.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean

Who do you hang out with, a strawberry, a celery stick or a mushroom?

The mushroom because he's a fungi.

What do you call a trash talking mushroom?

Shittalki

I was going to grow a fungus farm in my backyard

but there wasn't mushroom.

What do you call a mushroom with a 10-inch stem?

A fungi to be with.

What is a mushroom in a tent?

A Campingon.

Why was the mushroom the life of the party?

Because he was giving out free cocaine

Why were there no vegetables in the bolognese?

There wasn't mushroom

What did one mushroom say to the other?

"Dave, for the millionth time! You are not a freaking mushroom! No more drugs for you!"

Did you hear about the sketchy mushroom vendor?

He has no Morels

Why are mushroom hunters so selfish?

Because it's mycology, not yourcology!

What did the mushroom do when it broke its stem?

Sought aid (sauteed)

A man is walking through the forest when he discovers a gnome

If you step on a purple mushroom, you'll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world, warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn't step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: We have to get married.
Why? asked the man, smiling.
I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!

What mushrooms are easiest to move around?

***Portabell***os

What kinda room has no doors and no windows?

A mushroom.

What's the easiest mushroom to travel with?

A portable-o mushroom!

Why does everyone like hanging out with Mr. Mushroom?

Because he is a fungi

A Broccoli, Mushroom, Walnut and a Banana are having a discussion

Broccoli: I look like a tree!

Mushroom: I look like an umbrella!

Walnut: I look like a brain!

Banana: You guys wanna talk about something else?

Two guys walk into a bar, and one of them orders a mushroom soup.

The other guy asks him how the mushroom soup tastes, to which he responds "It's good, but there is mushroom for improvement"

I can't put anymore toppings on my pizza...

There's not mushroom

Hear about the mushroom who had to make a tough choice?

It was a big morrel dilemma.

What a fruit.

Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.

Mushroom: Wow, I look like an umbrella.

Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.

Banana: Can we change the topic please?

What do you call a hilarious mushroom

A fungi

What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom?

Hey you look like a fun guy,

How much room do you need to grow fungus?

As mushroom as possible.

I love Toad from Super Mario

you know, the little guy with the mushroom head. He always made me laugh.

He's a real fungi.

I went to a costume party yesterday dressed as a mushroom.

It was great, the people there thought I was a real fun guy.

Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters?

He had no morel compass.

A young couple goes cloudwatching

The girl points a cloud, and she says, "Oh! I see a giraffe!"

The boy points at another, "Yeah? I see a mushroom!"

...

One mushroom turned to the other mushroom and says...

What do you know about my father?
The other mushroom replies, not much, but I heard he's a fun guy.

My father says he works with a guy who has a mushroom growing out of his head

I've never met him but he sounds like a fungi

Dad joke: A woman goes to the doctor with...

A carrot in her ear, a mushroom in her nostril and a piece of steak on the other ear.

"I see" says the doctor. "You're not eating right"!

There's this couple outside looking at clouds.

The guy points at a cloud and says, That one looks like a horse.

The girl laughs and points another cloud and says, That one looks like a dog.

They both laugh and the guy points at another cloud and says, That one looks like a mushroom.

What happens if your car breaks down in the Mushroom Kingdom?

It gets Toad

Why did the girl mushroom go out with the boy mushroom?

She heard he was a Funguy

Once I went to a party dressed as a mushroom

I really am a fun-guy

When Trump communicates with the American people, he follows the primary rule of mushroom farming . . .

# "Keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em horsesh*t".

What's it called when a mushroom reaches its climax?

Sporegasm

How much room does fungi need to grow ?

As mushroom as possible

What room can you never enter?

A mushroom.

(From my 5yo.)

What room can no one enter?

A mushroom.

What's Blue and lies under a mushroom ?

Smurf poop

What happened to the fungi who moved into a New York apartment?

He didn't have mush-room

My dog tried to tell me i ate the wrong kind of mushroom

But by that point, i knew it was far too late

Why did I invite a mushroom to my cake day party?

Because he was a fungi

Did you hear about the mushroom who parked illegally?

He was Toad.

Why did the fun guy tell everyone to get away from him?

Because they weren't leaving him mushroom to move around.

A mushroom goes into the hall of bad jokes and says I'd like to submit a joke of my people

The receptionist looks at him and says listen buddy we have so many bad jokes here that I'm not sure we can squeeze yours in. It has to be exceptionally bad, let me hear it.

Mushroom: so a shroom goes on a date with this girl and she says 'tell me about yourself' and he says 'well I'm a fungi!'

Receptionist: yeah that jokes bad but it's just not gonna cut it, we can't put it in,
We don't have mushroom.

Why's it a bad idea to eat mushrooms for dinner?

Because you won't have mushroom left for dessert.

A mushroom forager sank to new lows for his hunt.

He stole a car for transportation and trespassed on private property to hunt on. Nevertheless his hunt was unsuccessful. He had no morels.

If a fungus was being mean

would you call it a shit-talky mushroom?

A mushroom walks into a bar, puts down a $5 bill, says "Gimme a drink!"

Bartender says "Get outta here, we don't serve your kind!"
Mushroom says "Why not? I'm a fun guy!"

What do you call a guy who puts a mushroom on his Rolex?

I don't know, but he is a Fun guy to watch man.

Did you know that mushrooms are really similar to frog poop?

They're toadstools.

Why was the mushroom invited to the party?

He was a fungi.

Why wsn't the toadstool invited?

He was toxic.

I once knew one mushroom man

He was a fun guy

Why did the mushroom want to goto a party?

Because he was sure he was a fungi

A mushroom walks into a bar.

Bartender says to it "We don't serve your kind here."

Mushroom says "But, why? I'm a fungi!"

What do you call a mushroom that has nothing nice to say?

A shi'talkin mushroom

I would make a fungi fun-guy joke...

...but those are overused. Too bad there isn't mushroom for other fungus jokes.

What do prize winning competitive mushroom pickers eat in the morning?

Breakfast of Champignons

What's the most verbally abusive mushroom?

Shit-talk-ie!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mushroom spore jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mushroom shroom piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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