The Best 39 Murders Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Murders jokes. There are some murders murder jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these murders crime puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Murders Jokes and Puns

Which race is ungratefully leeching off of the government without giving anything back, committing murders at disproportionate rates, refusing to educate themselves, and holding back people who are more intelligent and successful than them?

The human race

There are 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree murders, but why are there no 90th degree murders?

Because murder is not right

I just watched a movie where a serial killer murders people then cooks their dead bodies...

It was a heartwarming story from start to finish

Murders joke, I just watched a movie where a serial killer murders people then cooks their dead bodies...

Why does West Virginia have so many unsolved murders?

There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

What's the difference between a bird enthusiast and a crappy clock repairman?

One murders watches, and the other watches murders.


What do you call someone from Massachusetts who murders a bunch of Catholics?

A Mass. Mass Mass Murderer.

What do you call someone who murders a hundred people with a potato masher?

A mash murderer.

Murders joke, What do you call someone who murders a hundred people with a potato masher?

What do you call a sea creature that murders people?

A Serial Kriller.

What do you call a pothead that murders?

Stonedface killer.

What do you call someone who murders a toucan, a leprechaun, and a honey bee?

A cereal killer!

Why are no murders solved in West Virginia?

Everyone has the same DNA and no one has any teeth.

You can explore murders forensic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean murders prosecution dad jokes. There are also murders puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Where does the 3D shape go when it murders someone?

Prism

Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?

There's no dental records and all the DNA matches

Why are there so many unsolved murders in West Virginia?

Because nobody has any teeth and they all have the same DNA.

Some consider Romeo and Juliet a tale of true romantic love...

But only if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic...

Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?

Because it ain't murder if they had it comin'!

Murders joke, Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?

Why are hillbilly murders hard to solve

Because they all share the same DNA

So I saw two murders today

Can't believe how many crows were in that mans body

Did you hear about the Mime Murders?

It was an unspeakable horror


An owl was investigated as a suspect in the serial murders of eight random individuals in under a year

But the case went cold after repeatedly insisting it didn't know the victims' names.

What do you call it when one bird murders another?

Fowl play

Two guys walk into a bar

They walk up to the robot bartender and the first guy says "I'll have an h2o." The second guy says "I'll have an h2o too!" The robot bartender then murders them both because Elon Musk was right about AI.

Why are murders so hard to solve in Tennessee?

Because there are no dental records and the DNA is all the same.

What do you call it when someone murders a bee that's having a good time?

A buzz kill.

Hillbilly murders are the hardest to solve

They don't have dental records and all their DNA is the same.

Told my girlfriend that I've started writing a book about a serial killer that murders his lover.

She said, "That sounds exciting. I love thrillers."

I said, "It's not a thriller, it's an autobiography."

After an attempted murder a few weeks ago, I have kept a gun concealed in my pocket.

Since then, my attempted murders have been much more successful.

Have you heard about the string of murders at local campsites?

Police are saying the suspect has 'killer intent'.

All murders are done by black

...birds who gather in groups.

A dalek walks into a bar

And the bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve Daleks"

So the Dalek murders him with a death ray!

Why are murders so hard to solve in Alabama?

There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

What do you call someone, who murders your breakfast?

A cereal killer.

What do you call a pub that's famous for its murders?

A crowbar.

There's been 3 murders in the last month and the police are looking for a man with one eye.

If they wanted to find him that desperately, you'd think they will use both eyes.

A guy murders his parents.

He is presented in front of a judge and he begs the judge to show mercy while delivering his punishment.

The judge says to him, "You killed your own parents. Why would I show mercy to you?"

The guy looks at the judge and says, "Well, because I am an orphan."

What do you call someone with a lisp who murders angels and ghosts?

Ethereal killer

How do you prevent murders?

Use a scarecrow

My local news station had a story about a string of killings at churches in Massachusetts.

"Mass mass mass murders." they said.

Redneck murders are hard to solve

There aren't any dental records and all of the DNA is the same

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the murders homicidal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working murders murderer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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