The Best 59 Multiply Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Multiply jokes. There are some multiply numerator jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these multiply exponential puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Multiply Jokes and Puns

Sex is like...

Sex is like math. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, leave your solution, and pray you didn't multiply.

Sex is like air. You don't know what it's worth until you're not getting any.

- How can I find Lenin square?

- You just multiply Lenin by Lenin

Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.

Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.

Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you have left. Think of a country that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the country, and think of an animal that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the animal, and think of a color that begins with that letter.

Now.... How many orange kangaroos are there in Denmark?

Multiply joke, Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack ba

Chemistry has reached frightening possibilities

What do you get if you multiply a young ester compound by avagadro's constant?
A child mole ester

How do you project confidence?

How do you project confidence?

Multiply by the cosine of the angle.

After the Great Flood

After the Great Flood, Noah sends the animals to go forth and multiply.

A pair of snakes stayed behind. Noah asked, why they stayed.

The pair of snakes replies We can't multiply, we're adders ...

so Noah builds them a log table

Why don't we ever go 'forth and back'?

To go forth and multiply is more fun.

Multiply joke, Why don't we ever go 'forth and back'?

My buddy purchased a book called "Double Your Dating"

So I asked him if he could multiply 0 X 2.

God said "be fruitful and multiply"...

...which is why mathematicians get so excited about factorials.

Lawyers Vs Lab Rats

3 reasons lawyers should be used instead of lab rats.

1. They multiply more quickly than rats.

2. Lab staff don't become so emotionally involved, and;

3. there are just some things you can't persuade rats to do.

Pick-Up Line - Let's Do Math

How about we go to a nice place and do some math? We'll add ourselves up, subtract our clothes, divide our legs and then multiply.

You can explore multiply radicals reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean multiply arithmetic dad jokes. There are also multiply puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Frustrated mathematician newlyweds struggle to multiply before combining.

What do you have when lounge chairs multiply?

- Baby Sitters.

Two chaise...

- that's Sofa King Funny!!

How do you multiply dominatricies?

You max out your credit card.

What do you get when you multiply 1,654,835,583 to 5,687,423,908?

A headache.

How do cows multiply?

With cowculators!

Multiply joke, How do cows multiply?

Why did the electrician multiply distance and voltage?

Because he forgot his voltmeter at home.

They say America is really divided right now...

But with all the Planned Parenthood closings, I think we're about to multiply.

My friend asked what to do when the variable and number are next to each other in algebra.

I responded "They multiply"

An evil mathematician makes a plan to multiply binomials

It was FOILed

In the beginning there was only Chaos.

Then God blessed it and said: "Be fruitful and multiply."

I found out my friend is addicted to math.

I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imaginary. It's so complex. I'm afraid his problems will start to multiply exponentially, and he just doesn't understand the root of it all. Pretty soon he won't be able to integrate at all. And just to add to the trouble, those he defines as 'friends' just want to divide his space between themselves. I'm afraid soon he'll go off into the Great Unknown...

What do you get when you multiply Unidan times 2?


When Noah reached land, he threw open the ark doors and said, "Go forth and multiply".

When all the animals cleared out, only a pair of confused looking snakes remained.

"Didn't you hear me? Go forth and multiply!" Said Noah, annoyed.

"We can't" replied one of the snakes. "We're adders".

Life is like mathematics.

You add your friends, subtract your enemies, divide your sorrows, and you multiply your joys.

If you take every grain of sand on Earth and multiply it by 100...

You will have enough sand to make 100 Earth sized planets!

Mathematical Sex.

Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply

As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply. After some time, he came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves...

So Noah asked them, Why aren't you multiplying?

The snakes replied, We can't, we're adders.

Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.

Think of a number 0 to 20.

Add 32 to it, then multiply your answer by 2. Subtract 2. Now close your eyes.

It's dark, isnt it?

Little Johnny and his pet.

Dad walks by little johnny's room and hears "how much is 5 plus 5?"
He walks in and asks little johnny "why are you talking to your rabbit?"
Johnny says: "This one is stupid, the teacher told me that rabbits can multiply very fast but this one can't even add up"

How do you have sex with a female mathematics teacher?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, square root her and she'll multiply.

οΌΉοΌ―οΌ΅ οΌ­οΌ‘οΌ΄οΌ΄οΌ₯οΌ²

Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light..

..then you energy.

Two human can multiply to produce more humans by mating. But two imaginary human can't multiply to produce more imaginary humans.

The resulting human will be negative.

How do set theorist multiply?

By putting P members into V parts

Are you tired of only having imaginary friends?

Just multiply them by the square root of negative one. Then you'll have real friends!

What do you call the brand of toilet paper that prints math equations on their rolls?


My dad just got back from Ireland...

Dad: What are people in Ireland doing when they multiply by two?

Me: What?

Dad: They're just Dublin' it

Republicans are math geniuses.

They want you to both multiply and divide.

Why do cells always fail math?

They multiply by dividing

Why couldn't the programmer multiply?

Because his idea of the perfect date is YYYY-MM-DD.

What do you call a hen that can add, subtract, and multiply?

A mathamachicken.

What kind of tissues do mathematicians like?


Think of a number between 1 and 9. Multiply it by 2, and then subtract the sum of the digits from it. Now close your eyes.

Dark, wasn't it?

Multiplying by zero is just suicide in math: you don't really get a solution, but the problem goes away.

Shower thoughts didn't like it, but maybe you will

Sex is like Math

Add a bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs
And hope to not multiply

Noah sent his animals to 'go forth and multiply'

A pair of snakes replied 'we can't multiply, we're adders' -- so Noah built them a log table.

Think of a Number Between 0 and 20.

Add 32.

Multiply it by 2.

Subtract 1.

Close your eyes.

Dark, isn't it?

After the waters receded, Noah commanded all the animals to "Go forth and multiply!"...

The ark quickly emptied, except for two small snakes, who stayed behind.

When Noah asked them why, they replied, "We can't multiply. We're adders."

Noah, being the resourceful man he was, immediately got busy cutting down trees and building a large table with the unfinished lumber therefrom.

And he saw that it was good.

The snakes were overjoyed when Noah picked them up and placed them on it. Noah and the snakes both knew that even adders could multiply on a log table.

What do you get when you multiply a clock by another clock?

Times square

A theological one for the computer scientists

After the animals exited the ark, the Lord came to the animals and the Lord spoke "Go forth and multiply".

The snakes came to him and said "Oh Lord, we cannot fulfil the commandment, for we are adders"

Thus spoke the Lord "Go and cut down the trees, and out of the trees you shall fashion furniture. For adders can multiply with the aid of log tables"

Girl are you a gremlin?

Cause I wanna get you wet and multiply.

After The Flood...

After the flood, satisfied his work was done, Noah was inspecting the Ark one last time when he came across a pair of snakes.

"Why are you still here?" he asked in surprise. "It's safe now. Go forth! And multiply!"

The snakes stared at him in confusion.

"But....we're adders."

A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago:

Why are bacteria so bad at math?

Because they multiply by dividing.

RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots.

Words from the mathematician's Bible

And the Lord spoke to the animals, and he said "Go forth and multiply!"

The snakes came up to him and said "Oh Lord, forgive us, but we cannot fulfill your commandment, we cannot multiply, for we are adders".

"Go and cut down the trees and build furniture out of them", said the Lord, "for with the aid of log tables, adders can multiply"

When Noah's Ark settled safely after the flood, he opened the doors and commanded the animals, Go forth and multiply."

All the animals departed from the Ark, except for two snakes in the back. Noah proclaimed again, Go forth and multiply, but the snakes stayed put. Perturbed, Noah asked them, Why have you not followed my command?

* We can't multiply. We're Adders. *

My teen daughter is acting really odd.

She can't even. It's causing a family divide. We've got to figure it out before our problems multiply.

I'm at the bar right now (getting food I'm not an alcoholic I promise) and…

There's these two guys are arguing and one asked Jerry, howcome you got so many grandkids and I don't?

And he answers, I taught my kids how to multiply

I fuckin' lost it

Snakes can't multiply!

After the waters receded, Noah commanded all the animals to "Go forth and multiply".

The ark quickly emptied except for two small snakes, who stayed behind.

When Noah why, they replied - we can't multiply, we are adders.

Noah immediately got busy cutting down trees and building a large table with the unfinished lumber therefrom.

The snakes were overjoyed when Noah picked them up and placed them on it. Noah and snakes both knew that even adders could multiply on a log table.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the multiply logarithm jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working multiply multiplication piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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