Multiple Personality Disorder Jokes
24 multiple personality disorder jokes and hilarious multiple personality disorder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about multiple personality disorder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Multiple Personality Disorder Short Jokes
Short multiple personality disorder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The multiple personality disorder humour may include short multiple personality jokes also.
- My psychiatrist diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder... And now she's on the news, apparently she was murdered by one of her patients, wonder if I ever saw him
- My friends always tell me I'm a real people person... But my psychiatrist prefers the term 'multiple personality disorder.'
- My roommate is spreading rumour that I have multiple personality disorder. Well, three can play that game!
- My therapist just diagnosed me as a people's person… ..but he insists it's called multiple personality disorder.
- Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend? Because Sharon is Karen.
- My analyst told me that I've got multiple personality disorder. I replied "Don't be ridiculous. I haven't got multiple personality disorder - and neither have I."
- I have been diagnosed with DID or Multiple Personality Disorder. Apparently there are multiple personalities inside of me fighting their way out.
I would take them all over my ex-wife's one! - Coping with multiple personality disorder is easy. But, I've always been more of a people person.
- I felt like I was just a statistic, so I went to see a psychologist... She diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder.
Now I feel like a distribution. - I wasn't sure about it... so I asked my other personalities if I had multiple personality disorder...
They said I didn't.
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Multiple Personality Disorder One Liners
Which multiple personality disorder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with multiple personality disorder? I can suggest the ones about personality disorder and split personality.
- Hi I'm Bob I'll be frank with you,
I have multiple personality disorder - Just found out I have multiple personality disorder I gotta tell the other guys
- What do you call a monster with multiple personality disorder? A we're wolf.
Multiple Personality Disorder Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about multiple personality disorder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dissociative identity disorder jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make multiple personality disorder pranks.
A doctor diagnosed me with...
... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.
... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!
... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.
... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams.
... Dementia.
But I maintain full cognitive... Um. What was the question?
Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health
If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
The husband had a really bad condition of multiple personality disorder...
"Doctor, for the last eight months, my husband has thought that he's a lawnmower."
"That's terrible. Why didn't you bring him in sooner?"
"Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."
What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder?
b**... your best friend's wife every night!
Another therapist joke
Therapist : I think you have multiple personality disorder
Me : Oh my god you think I have a personality.
Also me : Tell me something I dont know
This is the psychiatry hotline,
If you are Obsessive- Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly,
If you are co- dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you,
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6,
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call,
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship,
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press,
If you're depressive it doesn't matter which number you'll press no one will answer you,
If you're dyslexic press 69696996966,
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep after the beep, please wait for the beep,
If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later
and if you have low self-esteem, hang up, all operators are too busy to talk to you...
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9…