Mule Jokes
50 mule jokes and hilarious mule puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mule that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy a good laugh with these hilarious mule jokes! Learn more about different types of mules, from the horse and donkey mix to the drug mule and mule deer. Humor made from transporting crops and wearing a saddle!
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Funniest Mule Short Jokes
Short mule jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mule humour may include short donkey jokes also.
- A mule walks into a bar in Moscow The bartender looks at him and says Hey, we have a drink named after you!
Really? replies the mule There's a drink named Boris? - A timid friend of mine was arrested at the border for being a drug mule. I didn't know he had it in him.
- An odd look... Came to the counter of the pharmacy with a box if condoms... Person ringing me up gave me a quick odd look.... I caught it and said "oh, it's not what you think... I'm a drug mule"
- What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey? Darth Mule!
A joke, from third grade me...
Happy Star Wars day! - How do you acquire a small version of Thor's hammer? Breed a horse with a donkey and you'll have a little mule near.
- What is the difference between when the UN distributes a flashlight to each country, and when it delivers a cow to each country? One's illumination, one's a mule a nation.
- I like my women like I like my coffee Stuffed into a bag.
Slung over the side of a mule.
And brought to me by Juan Valdez. - Did you hear about the furry who got detained at the border? The guards thought he was a drug mule.
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Mule One Liners
Which mule one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mule? I can suggest the ones about mullet and maul.
- I ordered a horse from a rancher, but only got a mule. Guess he just half-assed it.
- Why did the mule fail his math test? He was half-assing it
- My boss asked for a horse, and I brought him a mule... He said my work was half-assed.
- My mule is pretty lazy... ... Always doing half-assed work.
- How do mob boss mules open doors? With Don-keys.
- What is Mexico's National Animal? The drug mule.
- What do you get for breeding a donkey and a mule A monkey
- Why was the horse always mad at the mule? It kept half-assing everything.
- The mule was the original hybrid vehicle.
- What's a donkeys favourite breakfast cereal? Mule-sli
- How do you find a drug dealer donkey? Just follow his coke mules.
- You can't trust a mule with an important task. They'll just half-a**... it.
- I was thinking about getting a mule But I've heard they do a half a**... job
- I was pulled over by the police on my mule. I got a speeding ticket for hauling a**....
- What would a lazy literalist name a mule? Half-a**...
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Mule Jokes
What funny jokes about mule you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mussel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mule pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm from the southern US, is it OK to poke fun at myself?
Why don't schools in the south teach Driver's Ed and s**... Ed on same day?
Too hard on the mule.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Riding a horse can be difficult. You could always choose to ride a mule instead...
but that would be half-assed.
Latvian Dreamin'
Little boy go to father. Is midnight. Say boy, "Father! I dream I is Mr. Potato! Have big eyes and smile! Even having shoes! I wish I Mr. Potato for all ever!"
Man woke in midnight all sudden. Rubs eyes. Remembers boy dead by mule, and is no potato. Only cold. Is all dream. Lay back on dirt. No smiles. No shoes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Treating her like a dog
A woman walks into a bar and orders a Moscow mule. "Congratulate me, I just got divorced," the woman says. "He'll never treat me like a dog again." "What, did he hit or beat you," the bartender asks. "No," she replies. "He expected me to be faithful."
A mule walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The mule replies, "Well, my mother was a horse, of course, of course. And no one can talk to a horse, of course. Which eventually led to divorce, of course. Of which there was no recourse, of course.
So without my father but with my mute mother, it took quite a long time for me to discover...
...I can't have kids"
Piece of string walks into a bar.
He sits at the bar and asks the bartender for a Moscow Mule. The bartender looks him over and says I'm sorry, but we don't serve string here . The piece of string leaves with a bit of hurt feelings.
The next night he decides to go in disguise and try again. He ruffles up his hair and adds a few curves and loops to make himself seem thicker, before putting on a bigger jacket. When he makes it back to the bar, the bartender spots him and immediately asks Hey, aren't you that piece of string from last night? .
No he replies, I'm a frayed knot .
My wife and I were talking about our physical relationship.
"I wish you were more of a lion," she said.
"A lion? Why?" I asked.
She said, "They are masculine and aggressive."
"I wish you were more of a mule," I said.
"A mule? Why?" she asked.
I said, "They can't reproduce."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mules
The thing I hate about mules is that they're so half-assed.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Caucasian mule?
You guessed it, a h**... donkey...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mules are just a half-assed attempt to make a stronger horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mules
Mules are held donkey and half horse. So does this mean that they do everything half-assed?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't mules do a good job?
They're always half-assing it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whoever said I got caught having s**... with a horse, you're a liar!
It was a mule.
A Lebanese man in Texas
A clever Lebanese man moves to the Texas Republic. He wants to buy a mule, but when he goes to see the man he knows is selling one, he is told that the mule has died.
"No problem," says he. "I will give you two dollars for the dead mule."
A few weeks later the mule seller runs into the Lebanese man in town, looking quite prosperous. He asked him what had happened.
" I raffled off the mule. I charged one dollar a ticket, and sold 700 tickets."
"But weren't the winner upset that the mule was dead?"
"I gave him his money back"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The problem with mule breeders...
They always do a half assed job.
A Taxing Poem
"Taxpayer's Lament"
Tax his cow, Tax his goat;
Tax his pants, Tax his coat;
Tax his crop, Tax his work;
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt;
Tax his chew, Tax his smoke
Teach him taxing is no joke.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule;
Tell him, Taxing is the rule.
Tax his oil, Tax his gas
Tax his notes, Tax his cash
Tax him good and let him know,
That after taxes, he has no dough.
If he hollers, Tax him more;
Tax him till he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax his sod in which he's laid.
Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove him to his doom."
After he's gone, we won't relax.
We'll still collect inheritance tax.
