The Prophet Muhammad.
Nobody is going to leave for Irma but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate
His neighbor from Nepal looks over and says "I can't believe it's not Buddha"
Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."
"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"
"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"
"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"
His uber driver arrives so he gets in the car to proceed to his destination, the extremist then asks the driver a question.
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have radio?
Driver: no.
Extremist: so why do you have the radio on?
Driver: *turns off radio*
The extremist then asks another question
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have air conditioning?
Driver: no.
Extremist: so why are using it?
Driver: *turns of the air conditioner*
The driver decided to ask the extremist a question.
Driver: in the time of Muhammad did they have uber?
Extremist: obviously not.
Driver: then get the fuck out!
"It has two meanings," he replied, "The first meaning is 'God is Great'".
"And the second?" I asked
"Run like fuck!" Muhammad smiled.
When the teacher asked his name he replied: "Muhammad".
The teacher says:" you live in France, from now on you're name is Phillip and you will be French"
Little Phillip goes back home and his mom asks him" well little Muhammad, how was school?"
Phillip replied: "I'm French now, my name is Phillip!"
The mom is shocked, an hour later his dad comes home and they both slap Phillip.
The day passes and Phillip goes to class with a black eye, the teacher asks him:"what happened Phillip?"
"An hour after I became French, two Arabs beat the shit out of me!"
Credit Evan Sayet.
As Jesus winds down the fishing lesson, he notes the time. He bids them farewell, and walks across the lake home.
After a while, Moses decided he wasn't very good at fishing, so he parted the lake and went home.
Being the last one left, Muhammed ██████████ █████ ████████████████ ██████████ ███████████████ ███████
That's what happens when you punch George Foreman in the grill.
My faith moved mountains, exclaimed Jesus.
Yes, agreed Muhammad, but mine moved skyscrapers.
I guess he was just a turban legend.
We make a small prophet.
bad day to wear sandals.
The bartender asks each of them what they want.
Muhammad orders a glass of cranberry juice.
Jesus orders a glass of water, and promptly turns it into wine.
Then the bartender asks Buddha, "what do you want?"
Buddha replies, "Make me one with everything."
1.6 billion people call him Muhammad.
900 with just one punch.
Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear
Because Muslim girls can't go to school
Muhammad, statistically
He wanted to double his prophets.
Ali BaaBaa.
Muhammad Dali
Muhammad Alley
I've been in both.
Is it too soon for a punchline?
Gaseous Clay
So they don't have to have their picture in the yearbook.
Alli'son.
Gaseous Clay
Unfortunately, Parkinson's beat me to it.
Owner says, "Can I help you?"
They say, "How much to wash an old pair of boxers?"
Parkinson's
Gaseous Clay
Because muhammad taught her from a very young age.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Muhammad? Well, here are the best Muhammad dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Muhammad pick up lines to share with friends.