Mugged Jokes
90 mugged jokes and hilarious mugged puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mugged that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mugged Short Jokes
Short mugged jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mugged humour may include short mugging jokes also.
- Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea" Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug"
- I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
- i started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt years ago Since then my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
- I've decided to start carrying a knife. After an attempted mugging last week I've decided to start carrying a knife. Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.
- My wife walks into the kitchen Me: it sure is muggy outside
Wife: if you put all the mugs on the porch I'm leaving you
*Sips coffee out of bowl* - I started carrying a knife after a failed mugging attempt last year... All my attempts have been pretty successful this year.
- Me: "Gee honey, it sure is muggy out today!" Her: "If I walk outside and all of our mugs are on the front porch, I'm leaving you."
Me: *sips coffee from a bowl* - I started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt a few months ago. After that my mugging attempts have been very successful
- After an attempted mugging, I started to carry a gun around with me Now my muggings are more successful.
- A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, I don't know. It all happened so fast.
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Mugged One Liners
Which mugged one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mugged? I can suggest the ones about mugger and mugs.
- I got mugged by 6 dwarves... .... not Happy.
- Coffee is the silent victim in our house... It gets mugged every day.
- What did the German physicist call his beer mug? Ein stein.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- Someone stole my coffee. He was charged with mugging.
- What do you call a sick cup of coffe? A coughy mug
- I lost 70 pounds last month I got mugged in London
- I put root beer in a square mug. Now I have beer.
- I go mugged by six dwarves last night. Not happy.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged!
- why don't mathematicians get mugged? Because there's safety in numbers.
- Courtesy of my 6-year-old: How does a coffee mug fight off dementors? Espresso patronum
- Two coffees were walking down the street... One of them was mugged!
- What did the coffee do after it got mugged? It got drunk.
- Why did the barbarian mug the bard? So he could take the lute!
Quirky and Hilarious Mugged Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about mugged you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean robbed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mugged pranks.
What's the difference between a cup and a mug?
being cupped is far more pleasurable than being mugged
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York
when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied I don't know, it all happened so fast.
I was mugged today...
I was mugged in an alley today, all they took was my mood ring. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Bad Luck
I think my luck is getting worse.
I was mugged by a Quaker.
I got mugged last night!
The thugs made off with my wallet, my cuff links, and even my mood ring...
I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I got mugged last night! My assailants made off with everything from my shoes to my mood ring...
I still don't know how I feel about that.
So this r**... in New York is getting mugged...
and he fights like a wildcat, but eventually the three toughs overcome him. Two hold him down while the third grabs his wallet and opens it.
"Ten dollars??!!? You fought like a madman for *15 minutes* for a lousy ten bucks?"
"Oh no!" replied the r**.... "I thought you were going after the $500 in my shoe!"
My favorite psychiatrist joke
A man gets mugged on the street and is lying on the ground, suffering from his wounds. A psychiatrist happens to walk by and sees the man and says, "Whoever did this to you needs some serious help!"
A snail gets mugged
A snail is heading home from work, very late one night. He gets mugged by a turtle. The policeman says "Can you describe the guy?" The snail says "I don't know . . . it all happened so fast."
What did Meghan Trainor say when she got mugged?
Please sir, I don't want any treble.
A snail was mugged by two turtles.
A snail was mugged by two turtles. When the police asked him
what happened, he said "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged?
Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on.
A mugged turtle..
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, I don't know. It all happened so fast.
A gender studies major gets mugged
A gender studies major is walking through Central Park on her way back to campus, when a mugger jumps her. He takes her wallet and purse, but lets her keep her cellphone.
She immediately calls the police. "Was it a man or a woman?" the cop asks once he got there.
"I don't know," she says. "I didn't get to ask."
I saw a homeless man sleeping and I thought to myself, "What if you get mugged?"
So just to be safe, I took his guitar.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a racist
I'd have so much cash on me I'd probably get mugged by a black man.
I lost 100 pounds.
Getting mugged in Europe.
I got mugged yesterday...
The mugger said, Give me your money or you're science.
I said, Don't you mean history?
He said, Don't try and change the subject.
Tom Cruise was carrying amphetamine when he was mugged.
When the ambulance arrived the paramedic examined Tom Cruise and determined he was winded by a swift knee to the solar plexus.
The police officer wrote in his file: "The victim, Tom Cruise, got kneed for speed."
Mugged in D.C
A mugger stops a well-dressed man with a gun to his ribs and says "Give me your money"
The man replies back "You can't do this – I'm a US Congressman!"
"Oh! In that case," says the robber, "Give me MY money!"
An Artist Gets Mugged...
He goes to the police and draws them a picture.
The policeman says "That's a good picture, we could nail the guy with that."
"I dunno.." Says the rookie besides him. "It seems a bit sketchy."
I'm sick of people telling me that I'm more likely to get mugged in London than New York.
What do they expect? I don't live in New York.
A turtle got mugged by a gang of snails...
In the aftermath the police officer asked the turtle for details.
Trembling, the turtle mutters, "I... I don't know. It all just... happened so fast!"
Ten horses walk out of a bar. They see another horse getting mugged by a big scary dude in an alleyway. The horses are unsure if they should intervene. One brave horse says, "Let's put it to a vote! If you want to help him, say aye!"
They don't help him.
Why did the slug die after being mugged?
He was a-salted.
I was mugged by a guy equipped with kitchen utensils.
I considered running, but it was a big whisk.
A snail is walking home from the pub one night, when he gets beaten up and mugged by two slugs...
He goes to the police, who ask him for a description of the attackers.
"To be honest, it all happened so fast..."
Yesterday someone hit me on the head with a tankard and took my wallet.
I'm pretty sure i was mugged.
A&W has no mascot
Did you hear what happened to the A&W mascot?
He was walking home one day when he got Mugged
I was mugged last night by a thief on the way home
Pointing a knife at me, he said
"Your money or your life"
I told him I was married so I have no money & no life
We hugged & cried together...
It was a beautiful moment
I was mugged......
.....by a man on crutches, wearing camouflage. " Ha ha, I thought, you can hide but you can't run.
Who do you call if you're being mugged?
The cups.
What did one mug say to another mug after they got mugged?
call the cups!
A man gets mugged.
He goes in for a police sketch.
The police has the picture and asks him if this is accurate.
He says, he looks sketchier than when i saw him
Don't say coffee is better than tea in the UK
You might get mugged
Did you hear the news? Turtle crime is on the rise...
It's true. Just last night a group of turtles snuck up and mugged a snail in the park. A team of detectives interviewed the snail for details on the event. They asked, "So what happened?" The snail answered, "I don't know, it all just happened so fast."
My hometown is so tough
that, when I used Google Earth so show my girlfriend where I used to live, we got mugged.
I was being mugged the other day...
The guy said, "Give me all your money or else you're biology!"
I said, "Don't you mean history?"
He told me "Don't change the subject!"
I got attacked and mugged by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
I got Attacked and mugged by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
Ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask, so I couldn't Idenitfy him.
So a turtle gets mugged by two snails on his way home
When the police finally show up they ask the turtle,
"Mr. Turtle, tell us everything!"
The turtle responds with fear still in his eyes,
"I can't officer, it all happened so fast!"
Why did the cops hang out at the coffee shop?
In case somebody got mugged.
I've been very anxious about being mugged while on holiday in mexico, so I've been taking v**... to calm my nerves.
So far I haven't had any Hispanic attacks.
Coffee Has a Rough Time At Work.
It gets mugged ever single morning! :(
Ever heard the time when I got mugged?
My friend really hit me hard with that cup.
I got mugged by a thief last night.
I got mugged by a theif last night on my way from work.
Pointing a knife at me and asked me... "Your money or your life!".
I told him I am Married... "So I have no money and I have no life... ".
We hugged and cried together.
It was a beautiful moment....
Its so cold outside today
I was mugged by a guy using a water p**....
Coffee is the most silent victim ever.
It gets mugged every day.
My friend got mugged yesterday
He had to call the cups
I got mugged by 6 dwarfs the other day...
Not Happy
I saw an old lady being mugged by several men while walking home today, I figured I better go and help!
She was a tough old broad but in the end we got her purse.
I once saw my grandma get mugged
And $20 is all she gave me
I almost got mugged today
Guy runs up on me with a knife and says' "Your money or your life."
I said, "Look, man, I'm married. I ain't got no money and I ain't got no life."
He gave me a hug and a cigarette.
I saw a man getting mugged by 2 dudes so I stepped in to help
he didn't stand a chance against the 3 of us
Magician mugging
I got mugged by a magician the other day. He pulled a knife on me, but what was weird is that it was behind my ear the whole time.
I was mugged at a bus station, and burst in to tears.
A police officer came up to me and said 'I'm fining you £60'.
I said, 'oh, for crying out loud'
The police officer said 'yes'
A tortoise was crossing the road, when two snails mugged him.
The police arrived and asked what the muggers looked like.
Shaken, the tortoise said "I don't know. It all happened so fast!"
I got mugged in a dark alley by K-pop stars
Now I have BTSD
A snail went to the police station
A snail went to the police station to report that he had been mugged
When he got to the front desk he said
excuse me officer but I have been mugged by 2 tortoises
The officer said
can you describe the incident
The snail said
no officer sorry , it happened so fast
My pet tortoise got mugged by 3 snails.
When he was interviewed by the police, He said ' I don't know, it happened so fast'
why did the coffee go to the police
because it got mugged
Sloth gets mugged
A sloth gets mugged by three turtles. At the police station the cop asks him if he got a good look at the muggers. The sloth replies "I don't know, it all happened so fast".
I went to London the other day and was mugged in broad daylight at the train station.
Naturally I burst into tears, and then a policeman came up to me and said, I'm fining you £10.
For crying out loud! I exclaimed.
Exactly, he replied.
I was mugged by a thief last night on my way home...
Pointing a knife at me...He asked me "your money or your life!"
I told him I am married...so I have no money and no life...
We hugged and cried together
It was a beautiful moment...
Someone threw a mug at me and I reported it to the police….
I got mugged.
A man gets mugged every 30 seconds in New York City
He is starting to get really fed up.
