Mrs Claus Jokes
72 mrs claus jokes and hilarious mrs claus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mrs claus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mrs Claus Short Jokes
Short mrs claus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mrs claus humour may include short santa claus jokes also.
- What's the first thing Mrs Clause did when Santa got home on Christmas morning ? Emptied his sack.
- Why did Mrs. Claus finally leave Santa after all these years? She found out about his other two hos.
- Why does Santa come down the chimney? Mrs. clause told him he'd never be allowed to come in the back Door.
- What did Mrs. Claus said when Santa Claus asked how is the weather? "It looks like rain dear!"
- why couldn't mrs. claus get pregnant? santa only comes once a year and when he does it's down a chimney...
- Why does Mrs Clause pray for a white Christmas? Because Santa always comes once a year.
- Why was Mrs. Claus on the naughty list this year? She opened Santa's package before Christmas.
- Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas? Cause she married to a guy who comes once a year.
- My 9-yr old daughter just told me this one. What did Mrs. Claus way to Santa when she looked out the window?
It looks like rain, dear. - What's it called when Mrs Claus wears pants way too tight? Mistletoe
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Mrs Claus One Liners
Which mrs claus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mrs claus? I can suggest the ones about santa clause and santa wife.
- Why do Santa and Mrs. Claus not have any children? ...because Santa comes but once a year
- What does Mrs Claus get when she wears tight pants? A mistletoe.
- Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because Mrs. Claus won't let him in the back door.
- Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed? because Santa came early!
I'll let myself out. - Santa Claus came early! Mrs. Claus wasn't too happy.
- How does Mrs. Claus describe her husband's annoying laugh? Ha ha ha
- Why did Santa divorce Mrs Clause? because he only came once a year
- What did Santa Claus say when Mrs. Claus asked him for the weather? It's rain, dear!
- Why is Mrs. Claus so cranky? Santa only comes once a year and it's down a chimney.
- What kind of chips do Mrs. and Mr. Clause eat? Kringle cut!
- What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now? I told you it would rain, dear.
- What's Mrs. Clause's favorite romance novel? 50 shades of sleigh.
- What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head? Getting sleighed.
- What's it called when Mrs Claus's trousers are too tight? Mistletoe
- Did you know Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus were cousins from Alabama? Yule tide.
Quirky and Hilarious Mrs Claus Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about mrs claus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christmas elf jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mrs claus pranks.
Santa's bad day
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were gone, heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of r**.... When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had finished the cider and the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the liquor bottle, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa stomped to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus during s**...?
You're a h**... h**... h**...!
Why is Mrs Claus unhappy?
Because Santa comes only once a year.
Why is Christmas white?
Why some put angels as Christmas tree toppers.
One year, Santa procrastinated too much and had an hour to go over his naughty nice list.
He was in a cabin gaining some progress when he heard a knock on his door. "Santa, we need your help in the workshop!"
Frustrated, Santa yelled "I'm busy right now, handle it yourselves. I can't afford to be interrupted!" And slammed the door.
Not 15 minutes later another knock is heard and his agitation is climbing. He opens the door and yells "What?!"
It was Mrs. Claus and she said startled "I brought you some food."
His face tuning red, he says "I've got a half hour left to check this list, I can't be interrupted!" He then slammed the door on his wife. He then says "I swear, the next interruption I get I'll just lose it."
About 20 minutes passed when he heard a knock at the door. He stormed to the door with a burning hatred when he opened it. It was an angel holding a Christmas tree. "Hey Santa, where do you want the tree?"
Christmas Angel
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of r**.... When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful Christmas tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Have you ever heard the story of how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree?
Once upon a time, three days before Christmas many years ago, Santa was sitting in his office. He was under a horrible amount of stress; the elves had just announced that they were forming a labour union, half the reindeer had hoof and mouth disease, and Mrs. Claus hadn't touched his candy cane in months. There he was, fuming with rage, when in walks The Angel, cheerful and bubbly as ever, and asks with a big smile,
"where should I put the Christmas tree, Santa?"
Why did santa devorce mrs clause?
Because shes a h**... h**... h**...
Santa was having a really bad day....
Everything was going wrong. The elves were looking for a raise, Rudolph was sick, Mrs Clause was in a foul mood. So the Angel arrived at the door dragging a Christmas tree he asked Santa, what will I do with the tree ?
And that is why you will always find an Angel sitting on top of the Christmas tree.
Why Santa got involved with Christmas
Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone:
Santa: Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) … I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top.
Now, every year he has to keep doing the b**... lie he told.
What do you call Santa's wife?
Mrs Claus. I'll see myself out.
Mrs. Claus must be pretty dissatisfied.
After all, he only comes once a year.
Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st?
Because Santa came early this year.
Mrs. Claus gave birth on the 24th of December
I guess you could say Santa came early this year.
What did Santa say when he walked in on Mrs. Claus having an affair?
h**..., h**..., h**...!
Why did Mr and Mrs Claus get a divorce?
Because Santa wouldn't get rid of his h**... h**... HOs
You know why Mrs Claus is angry?
She also only comes once a year.
Mr Clause caught Mrs Clause cheating on him.
What a h**... h**... h**....
What is Mrs. Claus's real name?
Santa Barbara.
What did Santa Claus say when he heard Mrs Claus had been cheating on him?
h**... h**... h**...
Why did Mrs. Claus divorce Santa Claus?
Because he kept coming down the chimney.
Why did Mrs. Clause leave Santa?
Because of all his h**... h**... h**...'s
What's open later than any store on Christmas Eve?
Mrs. Claus's legs.
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when she asked him why he wanted to go to a s**... club?
Because I want to make it rain, dear.
What's Mrs. Claus' favorite song during s**...?
Santa Claus is coming, Santa Claus is coming, Santa Claus is COMING!
Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up
However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.
They're great at separating independent Clauses.
Santa Claus doesn't have a Mrs Claus.
He's h**...-h**...-homosexual
what did Santa get Mrs. Claus for Christmas?
a pearl necklace 'cause she's a h**... h**... h**...
why did Santa have chocolate in his beard?
because Mrs. Claus gave him a c**... for Christmas
What did angry Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she heard he was going to the s**... club?
I hope you don't make it reindeer
What does Santa Claus get himself when Mrs. Claus doesn't put out?
He gets him self a h**... h**... h**...
What do you call head from Mrs. Claus?
A blo-h**...-h**... job.
Why did Mrs. Clause cheat on Santa?
You'd think it's because she's a h**... h**... h**..., but really he just wasn't present enough.
