Mr T Jokes
37 mr t jokes and hilarious mr t puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about mr t that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mr T Short Jokes
Short mr t jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mr t humour may include short mr mrs jokes also.
- What's a good name for a detective? Mr. E
* My 9 year old daughter came up with this, so please be kind - A lawyer, comedian and a war hero walk into a bar. The bartender says, what can I get for you, Mr Zelensky?
Credit to u/DrDerpberg - Mr. Bigger and Mrs. Bigger have a baby. Who's the biggest in the family? The baby of course - because he's a little Bigger.
- A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear.... "Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?" The bear responds:"No, I'm stuffed."
- Job interviewer: And where would you see yourself in five years' time Mr. Jeffries?" Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
- "Mr. President, two Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday in Iraq." "Oh my god... How many is a Brazilian?"
- A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
- Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable." Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag." - In class we learned that last names were determined by what your ancestors did So I always made sure I kept my distance from my teacher Mr Dickinson
- A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar... The bartender says, "Hello, Mr. President!"
Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom...
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Mr T One Liners
Which mr t one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mr t? I can suggest the ones about mister and mr and mrs.
- What is Mr. T's favorite month? April, fools
- What's the name of Mr. T's girlfriend? April, fools
- What does Mr. Miyagi do when he gets home from a date? He wax off
- What does Mr. T say when he sees a fat lady at a bar? I pity the stool!
- Mr and Mrs Lee unexpectedly had their baby early So they named him SUDDEN LEE
- Why didn't Mr. Clean's wife ever get pregnant? He comes in a bottle.
- My grandma. - What did Mr. T say after throwing five $10 bills off the diving board? I fitty da pool!
- What did Mr. T say when he saw a fat woman sitting at the bar? "I pity the stool."
- Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm? Because he couldn't resistor.
- What do you call a Russian IT specialist? Mr. Switchitonanov
- How can you tell if your oven's done preheating? Mr. Goldstein's stopped screaming.
- What's Mr T's favourite month? April, Fools.
- Why was Mr. Information sad? Because everyone was spreading Ms. Information
- Boy: "Mr. Pence, would you be shocked if I was gay?" Pence: "No, but you would."
- Why doesn't Mrs. Clean get pregnant? Because Mr. Clean comes in a bottle.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Mr T Jokes
What funny jokes about mr t you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mr jones jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mr t pranks.
A solar panel, a wind turbine and a hydro dam are all getting to know each other.
'What kind of music are you into?' asks the dam.
'I'm into trance', replies the solar panel.
'Ooh, too intense for me', dam says, 'I much prefer classical melodies, maybe a little 60s soul at the weekends.'
'What about you Mr Turbine? What are you into?'
'Me?' He replies, 'I'm a huge metal fan.'
Donald Trump and his two bodyguards are on a crashing airplane. There are only two parachutes.
Trump declares "I am the President of the United States and also the smartest one. It's unbelievable." He grabs a parachute and jumps.
One of the bodyguards says "Hey, man, you have a wife and kids. Take the parachute."
The other replies "There are enough parachutes for both of us, Tim. Mr Trump took my knapsack."
What did Mr T say when asked if he had any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags, fool.
TIL that MR T used to wrap victims in flat bread to t**... them
He liked to pita the fools
I had a teacher called Mr Turtle.
He tortoise.
The president, a business man, and a national security leak walk into a bar...
... and order a drink. The bartender pours one beer and says, "Here you go, Mr Trump."
Well played Mr Trump
If you googled 'Trump' and s**...' before this week, the only thing that came up were hotel reviews.
Mr T and I were thinking about scaling a glass wall.
We were looking at the standard equipment and the fancy equipment too. I selected the most basic suction device for my ascent, and suggested Mr T do likewise.
He looked at me and said, "I ain't using no plain s**...!"
Donald Trump is visiting Queen Elizabeth.
Mr Trump turns to Queen Elizabeth and says "I want to be a King."
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a kingdom."
Don says "What about a prince?"
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a principality."
Don says "A duke then?"
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a duchy."
Don asks "Well what can I be?"
Liz says "Well I think a country suits you well."
The Japanese Prime Minister formally protested after meeting Trump at the White House
Mr Trump treated Shinzo Abe to his trademark greeting, involving a muscular grasping of the hand and the subsequent pulling of the recipient towards him in a dominant way.
Mr Abe said, "What an awful y**.... And I didn't like the handshake either."
What's Mr T's favourite dessert?
Petit Filous
(Credit goes to my ex wife for this one).
Hurricane Florence
White House advisor.......
"Mr Trump , Hurricane Florence is causing trouble."
President Trump.....
"Offer her the same deal as Stormy Daniels!"
Nicked from fb
My favorite teacher at school was Mr Turtle.
Because of the way he tortoise.
Mr Trump, may I introduce you to your cell mate?
"Mr Trump, may I introduce you to your cell mate, Mr Scott Free."
Trumps lawyer tweets out the next day that he "Got off scot-free!"
A man has just been arrested for stealing several Teslas in the Manhattan area
Mr T Edison has yet to be sentenced
The Chinese premier makes a phone call to Donald Trump in order to discuss the economy
"Mr Trump, what's happening to the world markets?"
"Fluctuations"
"Well fluc you Americans too"
What's worse then ten babies on Mr Toad's Wild Ride at Disney World?
One baby by the lagoon.
Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?
In case Johnny Onion Rings!
Why doesn't Mr T like cream and mashed fruit?
He pities the fool.
Why doesn't Mr T play air hockey?
He pities the foosball
Donald Trump, Vladimr Putin and Angela Merkel take a walk on the Beach.
Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his country's militaristic superiority.
"Folks, I can tell you, our Navy submarines, are so big and so good, would you believe it, they can remain submerged from the moment they leave the port, to the day they enter it again 6 months later. You haven't ever seen such great submarines in your entire life, folks."
Putin, not looking really impressed, answers:
"That's great, Donald. But my new nuclear submarines can stay submerged for almost an entire year. They are able to drive around the whole world without refueling, restocking, surfacing. What do you think of that?"
The two turn to Angela Merkel, and ask, "How long can the German submarines stay under, Mrs Merkel?"
Before Mrs Merkel can answer, the water next to them starts bubbling, and a big grey hull emerges from the sea. As soon as it comes to rest, the hatch on the tower creaks open, and a man in black uniform steps out. He raises his hand, and shouts, "Heil h**..., we need more diesel."
