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Mr Burns Jokes

6 mr burns jokes and hilarious mr burns puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mr burns that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Mr Burns Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good mr burns joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Billy Joel's house has burned down. apparently due to a faulty game console.

Investigators say the fire was caused by a faulty game console. However, Mr Joel has claimed that Wii didn't start the fire.

"Mr. Brezhnev, the Americans just landed on the moon!"

Brezhnev: "If the Americans were the first on the moon, then Russians will be first on the sun!"
Scientist: "But sun is so hot that astronauts will burn alive there!"
Brezhnev: "Are you s**...? We will fly to there in the night!"

A man is walking on the interstate

He stops a car and says to the driver,
"Hi, terrorists have kidnapped our beloved president Mr. Trump. They're demanding we pay them 50 million dollars, or else they'll pour gasoline on him and burn him alive. Can you please give something."
The driver thinks for a while and anwsers,
"I can spare 5... no, 6 gallons."

George Burns

In his later years, the comedian George Burns was being interviewed by a shapely female journalist.
FJ: Mr. Burns, is it true that at your age, you still smoke six cigars every day?
GB: (eyes downcast) Yes, it's true.
FJ: And is it true you drink 3 or 4 martinis every day?
GB: Yes, that's true.
FJ: And is it true that you still chase after women half your age?
GB: Yes, I do.
FJ: What does your doctor have to say about all this?
GB: He's dead.

The policemen were talking over the radio:

- Mr. Sargeant, we arrived at the crime location
*- What's the situation over there?* - asked the sargeant over the radio
- A woman just killed its husband. He was stabbed 35 times, shot twice, asphixiated, decapitated and then burned.
*- And what was the reason for such an atrocious crime? *- Asked the sargeant
- He stepped right on the wet floor which she had just cleaned.
*- And did you capture the woman?*
- No sire, we are still waiting for the floor to dry!

What did Mr. Burns bring to the p**... luck?

Egg_salad

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