Unearthly Funniest Mozart Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
Why did Mozart hate chickens?
Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!
"Wolfgang Mozart", says Mozart's friend...
"What?!" replies Mozart. Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves.
What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?
Amadeus on my dais.
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
Because they kept saying "Bach, bach, bach"
Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, "what's your costume going to be?"
"I'll be Bach"
What is Mozart doing right now?
De-composing
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to play Mozart.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered the chance to play the role of Mozart in a new film. He read the script but was not impressed. So he told the producers 're-write it and I'll be Bach.'
What's the greatest trick the Austrians ever pulled off?
It was to convince the world that Mozart was Austrian and that h**... in fact was German.
Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party
and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".
Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.
He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
THE GOVINATOR
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
You can explore mozart composer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mozart bananana dad jokes. There are also mozart puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg
Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...
Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'
Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'
Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'
So there's this school play...
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.
Stallone goes first.
"I'll be Mozart"
Next up is Chuck Norris.
"I'll be Beethoven".
Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".
The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.
"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.
"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.
"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.
Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.
Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.
"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.
"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.
"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.
Why did Mozart kill his chicken?
Because when he asked the chicken "Who's the best composer" the chicken said "Bach, Bach, Bach"
Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?
They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"
Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they were always saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"
I hate it when people pretend they know everything about culture when they talk about Mozart
They probably have never seen any of his paintings.
A grave digger...
A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.
The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.
The grave digger hits the coffin.
The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.
The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"
Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."
Mozart killed all his chickens..
he had asked them who the best composer was, and they kept saying " Bach! Bach! Bach!
Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
They were yelling "Bach Bach Bach Bach"
A few hundred years ago, Mozart was composing beautiful music
But for a while now, hes only been de-composing.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
Because they kept running around screaming, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"
What's Mozart up to these days?
Decomposing.
Steven Spielberg's Next Movie
Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.
Tom Hulce walks in first and says, "I played Mozart in Amadeus, and would love to play him again."
Next, Gary Oldman calls. "I was Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, so I already have experience playing the part."
Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him, and states, "I'll be Bach."ο»Ώ
Steven Spielberg wants to make a movie about famous composers, so he puts out a casting call.
Gary Oldman walks in first and says, "I played Beethoven in *Immortal Beloved*, so I already have experience playing the part."
Tom Hulce calls in next, "I was Mozart in *Amadeus*, and would love to play him again.
Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him and says, "I'll be Bach."
A Mans walking in a cemetery and he hears this noise...
It sounded like someone was using a eraser. He walks towards a grave and it gets louder. So he digs up the casket and sees Mozart Erasing all of his music,and the man says "Mozart what are you doing!" Then Mozart says "I'm decomposing"
Why did Mozart got rid of his chickens ?
Because they would only say Bach! Bach! Bach!
I hate people who pretend they're cultured when they talk about Mozart.
I bet they haven't seen any of his paintings.
Why did Mozart kill his pet chicken?
Because all it would say was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all making a movie about classical composers.
Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who was greatest composer, they all said "Bach Bach Bach Bach."
When Mozart died, you could hear his music playing backwards at his grave.
He was decomposing.
Mozart runs into a bar...
He's scratched and bleeding and can barely stand.
The bartender asks, What's wrong?!? What happened?!?
Mozart gasps as he collapses to the floor, I was just attacked by a wolf gang and now imma dazed!
(Just an awful joke I came up with to brother my bother. )
When Mozart died
When Mozart died people would go and visit his grave, but they kept hearing his music playing backwards.
Even when they left and came back, there was still his music playing backwards. People were confused why the music was always backwards, then they finally figured it out...
He was decomposing.
Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger are hanging out
Danny suggests they do some musical reenactment. Arnold, being the nice guy that he is agrees and let's Danny choose who he will be. Danny chooses Mozart. As for Arnold, he'll be Bach
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
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Because when he asked them their favorite composer, they said Bach Bach bach
Co worker told me this one
Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing making a movie about great composers.
Sean Connery says Only if I get to be Mozart
Stallone says Then I'll be Beethoven
Arnold says I'll be Bach
A movie studio is casting roles for a documentary about classical musicians.
Tom Cruise says I'll play the part of Mozart
Liam Neeson says I'll make a great Beethoven
Arnold Schwarzenegger says I'll be Bach
Arnold Schwarzenegger and his friends are acting in a short film about classical pianists and musicians
.
One of friends says, "I'll play Beethoven."
Another says, "I'll be Mozart."
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In the end, Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."
How did Mozart hunt deer?
With his Wolfgang.
Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they ran around saying Bach Bach bach
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster:
The Great Composers!
"I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis.
"What about you, Arnie?" they asked....
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked him who the best composer was, they replied, "Bach Bach Bach"
'Wolfgang Mozart!', said Mozart's friend.
'What?', said Mozart.
And then they were both eaten by a pack of wolves.
Action Composers
All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.
Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart.
Statham: I'm rather partial to Beethoven myself.
Jet Li: Chopin!
Everyone having had their turn they turn to Schwarzeneggar who is straight up not interested in the project.
Arnold: No! This is a dumb movie.
Everyone: Come on...
Arnold: Fine! I'll be Bach.
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8 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger was sitting in music class. The teacher said that each student would play the role of a famous composer.
One student said "I'll be Beethoven".
Another said "I'll be Mozart".
Yet another student said "I'll be Tchaikovsky".
And Arnold said "I'll be Bach".
Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi.
VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it.
Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, *Bach, Bach, Bach. *
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
Cause when he asked them who their favorite composer was, they all said "Bach, Bach, Bach"
Stallone: I'm making a documentary about composers
I'm playing Vilvadi.
Vandamme: I'll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: I'll be Bach.
I hate it when people act all intellectualβ¦
I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart
β¦ when they probably haven't even seen one of his paintings
A large movie studio is making a movie about famous musical composers played by very muscular actors. They had all of the actors choose who they wanted to be.
Dwayne Johnson chose Mozart.
Lou Ferrigno wanted Beethoven.
When asked who he wanted to play, Arnold Schwarzenegger said, I'll be Bach.
What's Mozart doing in his grave?
Decomposing.
Stallone thought of creating an action movie about composers.
Stallone: I'll play Beethoven
Van Damme: I'll be Mozart
Schwarzenegger: Shut up! I'll not say it.
