Mozart Jokes
90 mozart jokes and hilarious mozart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mozart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the fun side of Mozart with these witty jokes! From symphonies to operas, laugh your way through a selection of jokes that center around the renowned composer. Enjoy learning more about the the genius behind beloved works like the Amadeus Symphony and more.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Mozart Short Jokes
Short mozart jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mozart humour may include short symphony jokes also.
- Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi. VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it. - When Mozart died, you could hear his music playing backwards at his grave. He was decomposing.
- Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked him who the best composer was, they replied, "Bach Bach Bach"
- I hate it when people act all intellectual… I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart
… when they probably haven't even seen one of his paintings - I hate it when people pretend they know everything about culture when they talk about Mozart They probably have never seen any of his paintings.
- A few hundred years ago, Mozart was composing beautiful music But for a while now, hes only been de-composing.
- Shortly after Mozart's death, all his music started disappearing but people couldn't figure out why. Turns out he was just de-composing in his grave.
- Mozart took a young wife, as was common in the day. After a very brief first night together, he felt inspired to write a song.
He called it Minute in A Minor. - What's the difference between Kevin Spacey and Mozart? It's hard to get Mozart to play with A minor.
- People visited Mozart grave when he died. But when they got there, music started playing, and people couldn't figure why. It confused every scientist.
But I figured it out,
Mozart was decomposing
Share These Mozart Jokes With Friends
Mozart One Liners
Which mozart one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mozart? I can suggest the ones about composer and mozart musical.
- What's Mozart up to these days? Decomposing.
- What kind of cheese plays the piano? Mozart-rella!
- How did Mozart hunt deer? With his Wolfgang.
- What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart? Amadeus on my dais.
- What did the disappointed mozart-fan infant say when he opened his gift? Baby got Bach
- What do you call a pack of wild dogs that enjoy listening to Mozart? a Wolfgang
- Why did Mozart run to the bathroom? To conduct his next movement.
- What does Mozart put on his front lawn? Metrognomes
- Classical pun Why have they not found Mozart's body yet?
Because he is Haydn. - What are Beethoven and Mozart? Decomposed Composers
- What did Bach say when Mozart thought he smelled something burning? "Could Beethoven"
- why couldn't mozart turn in his test? his teacher was haydn
- What did Mozart say when he fell down the stairs? Ow, my Bach!
- I was listening to some Mozart... And I realized that he made some top nachtmusik.
- What would Mozart drive if he were here today? A KV331 mov1!
Mozart Composed Jokes
Here is a list of funny mozart composed jokes and even better mozart composed puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- In his prime Mozart was one of the best composers. But after his death he became a decomposer.
- A lot of people didn't know that Mozart's dog started to turn into a piece of fruit. He composed a piece about it. It was a melon-collie tune....
- What did the Germans used to call Mozart? De composer.
What do the English now call Mozart?
Decomposer.
Mozart Musical Jokes
Here is a list of funny mozart musical jokes and even better mozart musical puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Classical music is such a scam... You pay hundreds of dollars to go see Mozart live and in concert, and every time it's just a cover band
- Did you hear about the weird music that plays at Mozarts grave.... Don't worry, He's decomposing.
Unearthly Funniest Mozart Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about mozart you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mozart pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Wolfgang Mozart", says Mozart's friend...
"What?!" replies Mozart. Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves.
What is Mozarts favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-na!
When Mozart passed away...
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to play Mozart.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered the chance to play the role of Mozart in a new film. He read the script but was not impressed. So he told the producers 're-write it and I'll be Bach.'
If a person were to give a speech about Mozart, where would they be most likely to do it?
On the Dias
On the Dias
Oh Oh Oh, on the dais.
Bruce Willis, arnold schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party
and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.
He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
Why can't Mozart play football?
Because he's rubbish at the Bach and can't Handel the ball.
Austria, mid-1950s
Once upon a time in an Austrian elementary school, the children were preparing for the school play. This year it was about classical musicians. The teacher asked some students who they'd like to portray in the production. Hans wanted to be Mozart, Johan wanted to be Beethoven, and Karl wanted to be Brahms. When little Arnold was asked, he replied "I'll be Bach!"
What is Mozart doing right now?
Any one else get that pm? /u/jokinglikeabot
Mozart
So the year is 1791, and Mozart has just died. It's a big deal in Vienna, everyone is sad blah blah blah blah. A few days after he is buried, someone is walking through the graveyard and hears a strange noise. Intrigued by the noise he follows it until it gets louder, louder, and finally he finds himself standing above Mozart's grave. Naturally this is a matter of curiosity in Vienna, and soon people from all over come to hear this strange sound coming from Mozart's grave. No one can identify the noise coming from the grave, so finally they bring in an expert on Mozart's music to see if he can identify it. After listening for a few minutes, the expert says "Well this is Mozart's 6th symphony, but it's playing backwards." He listens a bit longer and he hears Mozart's 5th symphony, 4th symphony, 3rd, 2nd, 1st but all being played backwards. The people of Vienna ask the expert how this strange music can be coming from the grave. "It's no big deal" he answers. "Mozart is just *decomposing*."
Mozart is rolling in his grave.
In 50 years people will be saying "Adele is rolling in the deep."
THE GOVINATOR
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
A Boy, brought up by pianists, writes on fences and walls "Mozart is alive!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mozart got sick and tired and decided to s**... all his chickens.
They wouldn't stop going Bach bach bach.
I've learned how to play Mozart, Beethoven and Bach.
Basically what I do is I turn my speakers on.
Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in a bar
After a few drinks Steven says he's thinking about making an action movie about classical composers
Sylvester says "I wanna be Mozart!"
Arnold says "in that case...I'll be Bach"
So there's this school play...
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.
Stallone goes first.
"I'll be Mozart"
Next up is Chuck Norris.
"I'll be Beethoven".
Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".
The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.
"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.
"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.
"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.
Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?
They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"
Why did Beethoven hate Mozart?
Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach.
A young music student is talking to Mozart
Student: "Herr Mozart, I'm thinking of writing a symphony, and was wondering if you could give me some instruction."
Mozart: "How old are you, young man?"
Student: "I'm seventeen."
Mozart: "Well, that's a bit young to write something as complex as a symphony, isn't it? Why don't you start with something on a smaller scale, like a string quartet, and then work your way up?"
Student: "But Herr Mozart, you wrote your first symphony when you were only eight years old!"
Mozart: "Yes, but nobody had to teach me how."
pretentious is when...
you speak about Mozart without ever having seen any of his paintings.
A grave digger...
A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.
The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.
The grave digger hits the coffin.
The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.
The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"
Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two blondes are listening to a piano performance at a concert hall
"Is that Mozart?" one blonde asks the other.
"d**... if I know, he has his back to us"
What did Mozart yell when he became a crusader?
Amadeus Vult!
Mozart just did his second Ask Me Anything.
It was called AMAdeus.
What did The Terminator say after "I'll be bach"?
I'd rather be Mozart, though.
Why did Mozart fall off a tree?
He lost his Handel on Bach.
Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"
Why does Mozart dislike metal?
It's too djentle!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mozart and his Friend are Walking in the Woods
Suddenly his friend shouts, Wolfgang, Mozart!
Yes? Replies Mozart
Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I get intimate with the wife, I like to listen to Mozart, Bach, Vivaldi, but specially...
Depussy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate people who pretend they're cultured when they talk about Mozart.
I bet they haven't seen any of his paintings.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a German queen who refuses to listen to Mozart?
Queen of the Nein.
So a graverobber decides to dig up Mozart,
He digs down, opens the coffin, and finds, not a dead body but a very old Mozart rapidly erasing music sheets. The grave robber says "Mozart, is that you? What are you doing?" Mozart responds, "I'm decomposing."
Mozart, Scarlatti and Jean-Baptiste Lully are performing at a bar.
Everyone is on their feet in minuets
Sigmund Freud walks into a bar
Sits down and orders a banana daiquiri and a hotdog. He looks over to the stage and Mozart comes out and starts going crazy on a keyboard. Freud downs his drink, flips a few tables and runs out angrily. Mozart looks at the barman and asks, "What was that about?" The barman replies. "Pianist envy."
Why was Mozart hounded by creditors?
They did not appreciate being paid in Arias.
I usually listen to Mozart
But Offenbach
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what mozarts favorite type of music is?
s**...
Haydn and Mozart killed a guy.
Haydn is dragging the body while Mozart is looking for a hiding spot.He found an old pit to put the body and scream "Hey Haydn here!"
Mozart runs into a bar...
He's scratched and bleeding and can barely stand.
The bartender asks, What's wrong?!? What happened?!?
Mozart gasps as he collapses to the floor, I was just attacked by a wolf gang and now imma dazed!
(Just an awful joke I came up with to brother my bother. )
Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger are hanging out
Danny suggests they do some musical reenactment. Arnold, being the nice guy that he is agrees and let's Danny choose who he will be. Danny chooses Mozart. As for Arnold, he'll be Bach
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
'Wolfgang Mozart!', said Mozart's friend.
'What?', said Mozart.
And then they were both eaten by a pack of wolves.
