Mozart Jokes

114 mozart jokes and hilarious mozart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mozart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the fun side of Mozart with these witty jokes! From symphonies to operas, laugh your way through a selection of jokes that center around the renowned composer. Enjoy learning more about the the genius behind beloved works like the Amadeus Symphony and more.

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Funniest Mozart Short Jokes

Short mozart jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mozart humour may include short symphony jokes also.

  1. Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi. VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.
    Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it.
  2. When Mozart died, you could hear his music playing backwards at his grave. He was decomposing.
  3. Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked him who the best composer was, they replied, "Bach Bach Bach"
  4. Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked them who was greatest composer, they all said "Bach Bach Bach Bach."
  5. Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

    Because when he asked them their favorite composer, they said Bach Bach bach
  6. I hate it when people act all intellectual… I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart
    … when they probably haven't even seen one of his paintings
  7. Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken "Who's the best composer" the chicken said "Bach, Bach, Bach"
  8. I hate it when people pretend they know everything about culture when they talk about Mozart They probably have never seen any of his paintings.
  9. I hate people who pretend they're cultured when they talk about Mozart. I bet they haven't seen any of his paintings.
  10. Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, "what's your costume going to be?" "I'll be Bach"

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Mozart One Liners

Which mozart one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mozart? I can suggest the ones about composer and mozart musical.

  1. What's Mozart up to these days? Decomposing.
  2. Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying "Bach, bach, bach"
  3. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? They were yelling "Bach Bach Bach Bach"
  4. What's Mozart doing in his grave? Decomposing.
  5. Why did Mozart hate chickens? Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!
  6. What is Mozart doing right now? De-composing
  7. Why did Mozart kill his pet chicken? Because all it would say was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
  8. What kind of cheese plays the piano? Mozart-rella!
  9. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? Because they ran around saying Bach Bach bach
  10. How did Mozart hunt deer? With his Wolfgang.
  11. What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart? Amadeus on my dais.
  12. What does Mozart do in his grave? Decompose
  13. What did the disappointed mozart-fan infant say when he opened his gift? Baby got Bach
  14. What do you call a pack of wild dogs that enjoy listening to Mozart? a Wolfgang
  15. Why did Mozart run to the bathroom? To conduct his next movement.

Mozart Composed Jokes

Here is a list of funny mozart composed jokes and even better mozart composed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, *Bach, Bach, Bach. *
  • Mozart killed all his chickens.. he had asked them who the best composer was, and they kept saying " Bach! Bach! Bach!
  • They dug up Mozart's grave. When they opened the casket he was madly erasing his music... Of course, he was de-composing.
  • Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? Cause when he asked them who their favorite composer was, they all said "Bach, Bach, Bach"
  • A few hundred years ago, Mozart was composing beautiful music But for a while now, hes only been de-composing.
  • Stallone thought of creating an action movie about composers. Stallone: I'll play Beethoven
    Van Damme: I'll be Mozart
    Schwarzenegger: Shut up! I'll not say it.
  • Composers Stallone: 'I'm making a movie about composers, I'll be Beethoven'
    Van Damme: 'I'll be Mozart'
    Schwarzenegger: 'Stop it guys, I'm not saying it!'
  • Shortly after Mozart's death, all his music started disappearing but people couldn't figure out why. Turns out he was just de-composing in his grave.
  • Stallone: I'm making a documentary about composers I'm playing Vilvadi.
    Vandamme: I'll be Mozart.
    Schwarzenegger: I'll be Bach.
  • What are Beethoven and Mozart? Decomposed Composers

Mozart Musical Jokes

Here is a list of funny mozart musical jokes and even better mozart musical puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • People visited Mozart grave when he died. But when they got there, music started playing, and people couldn't figure why. It confused every scientist.
    But I figured it out,
    Mozart was decomposing
  • So they dug up Mozart's Grave... They found him erasing all of his music, "What are you doing?" "I'm Decomposing"
  • Classical music is such a scam... You pay hundreds of dollars to go see Mozart live and in concert, and every time it's just a cover band
  • Did you hear about the weird music that plays at Mozarts grave.... Don't worry, He's decomposing.
  • You know what mozarts favorite type of music is? s**...
Mozart joke, You know what mozarts favorite type of music is?

Wolfgang Mozart Jokes

Here is a list of funny wolfgang mozart jokes and even better wolfgang mozart puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • 'Wolfgang Mozart!', said Mozart's friend. 'What?', said Mozart.
    And then they were both eaten by a pack of wolves.
  • "Wolfgang Mozart", says Mozart's friend... "What?!" replies Mozart. Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves.
  • Mozart and his Friend are Walking in the Woods Suddenly his friend shouts, Wolfgang, Mozart!
    Yes? Replies Mozart
    Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves
Mozart joke, Mozart and his Friend are Walking in the Woods

Unearthly Funniest Mozart Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about mozart you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mozart pranks.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to play Mozart.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered the chance to play the role of Mozart in a new film. He read the script but was not impressed. So he told the producers 're-write it and I'll be Bach.'

What's the greatest trick the Austrians ever pulled off?

It was to convince the world that Mozart was austrian and that h**... in fact was German.

Bruce Willis, arnold schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party

and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."

Austria, mid-1950s

Once upon a time in an Austrian elementary school, the children were preparing for the school play. This year it was about classical musicians. The teacher asked some students who they'd like to portray in the production. Hans wanted to be Mozart, Johan wanted to be Beethoven, and Karl wanted to be Brahms. When little Arnold was asked, he replied "I'll be Bach!"


Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...
Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'
Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'
Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in a bar

After a few drinks Steven says he's thinking about making an action movie about classical composers
Sylvester says "I wanna be Mozart!"
Arnold says "in that case...I'll be Bach"

So there's this school play...

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.
Stallone goes first.
"I'll be Mozart"
Next up is Chuck Norris.
"I'll be Beethoven".
Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

What does Mozart put on his front lawn?


The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.

"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.
"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.
"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.

Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.

Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.
"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.
"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.
"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.

Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?

They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"

Mozart took a young wife, as was common in the day.

After a very brief first night together, he felt inspired to write a song.
He called it Minute in A Minor.

Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they were always saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"

In bed I'm like a Mozart symphony

Dazzling, inventive, and finished in three movements

A grave digger...

A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.
The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.
The grave digger hits the coffin.
The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.
The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"
Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."

Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers...

Bruce Willis says "I'll be Mozart", Chuck Norris says "I'll be Beethoven" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach".

Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher?

Because his teacher was Haydn.

In his prime Mozart was one of the best composers.

But after his death he became a decomposer.

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

Because they kept running around screaming, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"

Steven Spielberg's Next Movie

Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.
Tom Hulce walks in first and says, "I played Mozart in Amadeus, and would love to play him again."
Next, Gary Oldman calls. "I was Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, so I already have experience playing the part."
Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him, and states, "I'll be Bach."

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Cruise, and Bruce Willis said they wanted to star in a movie about classical musicians.

Bruce Willis said I'll play Mozart!
Tom Cruise said I'll play Beethoven!
Arnold said I'll be Bach

Steven Spielberg wants to make a movie about famous composers, so he puts out a casting call.

Gary Oldman walks in first and says, "I played Beethoven in *Immortal Beloved*, so I already have experience playing the part."
Tom Hulce calls in next, "I was Mozart in *Amadeus*, and would love to play him again.
Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him and says, "I'll be Bach."

Stallone, Van Damme and Schwarzenegger decide to collaborate on a movie about classical composers.

"I'll be Beethoven" says Stallone.
Van Damne says "OK, I'll be Mozart".
Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach"

A Mans walking in a cemetery and he hears this noise...

It sounded like someone was using a eraser. He walks towards a grave and it gets louder. So he digs up the casket and sees Mozart Erasing all of his music,and the man says "Mozart what are you doing!" Then Mozart says "I'm decomposing"

why couldn't mozart turn in his test?

his teacher was haydn

Why did Mozart got rid of his chickens ?

Because they would only say Bach! Bach! Bach!

What do you call a German queen who refuses to listen to Mozart?

Queen of the Nein.

So a graverobber decides to dig up Mozart,

He digs down, opens the coffin, and finds, not a dead body but a very old Mozart rapidly erasing music sheets. The grave robber says "Mozart, is that you? What are you doing?" Mozart responds, "I'm decomposing."

Mozart, Scarlatti and Jean-Baptiste Lully are performing at a bar.

Everyone is on their feet in minuets

Sigmund Freud walks into a bar

Sits down and orders a banana daiquiri and a hotdog. He looks over to the stage and Mozart comes out and starts going crazy on a keyboard. Freud downs his drink, flips a few tables and runs out angrily. Mozart looks at the barman and asks, "What was that about?" The barman replies. "Pianist envy."

Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all making a movie about classical composers.

Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."

What's the difference between Kevin Spacey and Mozart?

It's hard to get Mozart to play with A minor.

What did Bach say when Mozart thought he smelled something burning?

"Could Beethoven"

Haydn and Mozart killed a guy.

Haydn is dragging the body while Mozart is looking for a hiding spot.He found an old pit to put the body and scream "Hey Haydn here!"

Mozart runs into a bar...

He's scratched and bleeding and can barely stand.
The bartender asks, What's wrong?!? What happened?!?
Mozart gasps as he collapses to the floor, I was just attacked by a wolf gang and now imma dazed!
(Just an awful joke I came up with to brother my bother. )

When Mozart died

When Mozart died people would go and visit his grave, but they kept hearing his music playing backwards.
Even when they left and came back, there was still his music playing backwards. People were confused why the music was always backwards, then they finally figured it out...
He was decomposing.

Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger are hanging out

Danny suggests they do some musical reenactment. Arnold, being the nice guy that he is agrees and let's Danny choose who he will be. Danny chooses Mozart. As for Arnold, he'll be Bach

Co worker told me this one

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing making a movie about great composers.
Sean Connery says Only if I get to be Mozart
Stallone says Then I'll be Beethoven
Arnold says I'll be Bach

A movie studio is casting roles for a documentary about classical musicians.

Tom Cruise says I'll play the part of Mozart
Liam Neeson says I'll make a great Beethoven
Arnold Schwarzenegger says I'll be Bach

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his friends are acting in a short film about classical pianists and musicians

One of friends says, "I'll play Beethoven."
Another says, "I'll be Mozart."
In the end, Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster:

The Great Composers!
"I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis.
"What about you, Arnie?" they asked....

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.
Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart.
Statham: I'm rather partial to Beethoven myself.
Jet Li: Chopin!
Everyone having had their turn they turn to Schwarzeneggar who is straight up not interested in the project.
Arnold: No! This is a dumb movie.
Everyone: Come on...
Arnold: Fine! I'll be Bach.

8 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger was sitting in music class. The teacher said that each student would play the role of a famous composer.

One student said "I'll be Beethoven".
Another said "I'll be Mozart".
Yet another student said "I'll be Tchaikovsky".
And Arnold said "I'll be Bach".

A large movie studio is making a movie about famous musical composers played by very muscular actors. They had all of the actors choose who they wanted to be.

Dwayne Johnson chose Mozart.
Lou Ferrigno wanted Beethoven.
When asked who he wanted to play, Arnold Schwarzenegger said, I'll be Bach.

Mozart joke, Stallone thought of creating an action movie about composers.

jokes about mozart