Mowing Jokes

78 mowing jokes and hilarious mowing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mowing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a way to cut lawn care stress and get a good laugh? Check out this collection of hilarious mowing jokes featuring everything from man’s best friend to the grass itself! Get ready to enjoy funny one-liners, stories and jokes about mowing the grass and the lawnmower.

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Funniest Mowing Short Jokes

Short mowing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mowing humour may include short mowed jokes also.

  1. Saw a black guy walking the streets carrying a tv and I thought "is that one mine"?... ... then I remembered it couldn't be mine because mine was mowing the lawn at the moment.
  2. There's that moment when you put your steak on the grill and your mouth waters all over from that amazing smell... Do you vegans feel the same when you mow the grass?
  3. I woke up hung-over to the sound of my neighbour mowing his lawn. He'll have to mow around me. I'm not moving.
  4. I was griling a steak earlier and the smell of the juices made my mouth water.... Got me thinking....Do vegetarians have the same effect when mowing a lawn ?
  5. When I'm grilling a steak, the smell of the juices makes my mouth water. Wonder if that happens when a vegan mows their lawn.
  6. I saw a man crying while mowing his lawn I asked him: "Is everything OK"?
    He replied: "I'm just going through a rough patch".
  7. I had 180 people under me at my first job and I was only 14 years old. I mowed the town cemetery.
  8. My mouth waters when I smell steak on a grill I wonder if the same happens to vegans taken they mow the lawn
  9. I drool as I watch the gyro meat getting sliced off the stick for my wrap... ... then I wonder - is that how vegans feel when they watch someone mowing the lawn?
  10. I mowed the lawn with my shirt off, and now my back is stiff. My wife told next time to mow with my pants off.

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Mowing One Liners

Which mowing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mowing? I can suggest the ones about cutting grass and lawnmower.

  1. At my new job I have 500 people under me. I mow grass at a cemetery.
  2. How many Mexicans does it take to mow the lawn? Only Juan.
  3. Today I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn He just wasn't cutting it
  4. Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
  5. Did you hear what happened to the really offensive joke about tall grass? [re mowed]
  6. To save on mowing, get an emo lawn, It cuts itself.
  7. Yo mama was so fat It takes a week to mow her burial plot.
  8. A landscaper's favourite musical genre? Mow-town.
  9. Americans pay for gym memberships and for people to mow their lawns.
  10. Have you found Jesus? Cause I haven't seen him and my lawn really needs a mow.
  11. What did the computer do with his overgrown gardens...? Mowed 'em.
  12. You need Jesus in your life... that lawn won't mow by itself
  13. I feel bad for the people that mow the edges of golf courses. They have a rough job.
  14. When will the procrastinator cut the grass? In a mow
  15. How many dads does it take to mow a lawn? 1, he did it before you asked him

Mowing The Lawn Jokes

Here is a list of funny mowing the lawn jokes and even better mowing the lawn puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I recently realised I'm gender fluid… When it's time to cook dinner I identify as a man.
    And when it's time to mow the lawn I identify as a woman.
  • I was grilling a steak earlier and the smell of the juices started to make my mouth water... Got me thinking, do vegans get the same reaction when mowing the lawn?
  • What did SpaceX's grass smell like after the drones finished mowing it? It had an E-Lawn Musk
  • You know that mouth-watering sensation you get when you're grilling a steak on the BBQ? I wonder if vegans get that when they mow the lawn.
  • This just popped in my head... What's a mexican's favorite Disney movie?
    Mow lawn.
  • I was mowing my lawn and I found a shallow unmarked grave and I can't stop laughing I don't know why I just found this humerus
  • Why is the sky blue? Son: Dad..Why is the sky blue?
    Dad: Because if it was green, we wouldn't know where to stop mowing the lawn.
  • As a paramedic, I've learned that there is something you can never say with a straight face: I'm having a s**....
  • There were five distinctive wet little thuds against the garden fence.... That told me mowing the lawn in my flip flops may not have been a great idea.
  • I need 6 to 8 vegans... mow my lawn. Plenty of food here, just bring your own drinks please.

Lawn Mowing Jokes

Here is a list of funny lawn mowing jokes and even better lawn mowing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I saw a black man carrying a TV... so I was worried that mine had been stolen, but when I got home I found it was still mowing the lawn.
  • The sign said The sign said, "Call Jesus for help."
    The next day I had a Mexican guy mowing my lawn.
  • Mowing the Lawn I was planning to mow the lawn the other day but instead decided to but a keg of beer. I poured it on the lawn and after 30 minutes it was half cut!
  • Your grandpa used to mow the lawn all the time, but now he's... Son: dad please don't
    Dad: lawn gone
  • What do you call a lawn mower that lets you mow grass at an angle? A protractor.
  • What did Phil Collins say when his gardener asked how he'd like the lawn cut? "I don't care; any mow."
  • What happened to the ice cream cone that got ran over by a lawn mower? it was a la mowed
  • Why don't they mow the lawn at Hot Topic? The grass cuts itself
  • Why is Jesus's lawn always cut? Because his neighbor mows his.
  • Your mommas toenails are so long that... when she steps outside she mows the lawn
Mowing joke, Your mommas toenails are so long that...

Mowing Grass Jokes

Here is a list of funny mowing grass jokes and even better mowing grass puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If a normal person's mouth waters at a steak? Does a vegan's mouth water when someone is mowing the grass?
  • I'm having some Italian grass put in my yard. Then I can mow Milan. Hopefully I can cut a pisa grass while I Rome around.
  • My neighbor and I take turns mowing a small area of grass between our houses. I always say hi, but he never does, which is a shame... We have a lot in common.
  • My wife wants pay equality.... I told her I would do 1 better and gave her $1 to mow the grass.
  • The grass may actually be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still has to be mowed
  • You know that mouth-watering sensation you get when you smell a steak cooking on the grill? Is that what happens to vegans when they mow the grass?
  • Did you hear about the anemic guy that cut all the grass on earth in a square pattern? He mow globe in cells
  • Why did the muslim man eat grass clippings? It was grass Allah mowed
  • The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.

Mowing Man Jokes

Here is a list of funny mowing man jokes and even better mowing man puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a man mowing the lawn with a pig on his head? Mohamhed.
Mowing joke, What do you call a man mowing the lawn with a pig on his head?

Howlingly Hilarious Mowing Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about mowing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lawn mower jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mowing pranks.

The Lawyer and the Mexican

A lawyer and a Mexican live next to eachother in the most cookie-cutter neighborhood you can imagine.
One day, they're both mowing the frontlawn. The Mexican says:
"You know, my house is worth more than yours."
The lawyer is confused. He responds:
"How? Our houses are identical. Did you renovate the interior?"
"Did you modernize the kitchen or the bathroom?"
"I didn't."
"Then how can your house be worth more than mine?!", the lawyer cries.
"Well, I live next to a lawyer, and you live next to a Mexican."

A young lady, pregnant for the first time, visits her doctor for a check-up

After the exam, she says to the doctor, "My husband wants me to ask you..."
The doctor cuts her off and says, "I know, I know - it's normal. You can have s**... until your third trimester."
The lady says, "No, that's not it. He wants to know how much longer can I can keep mowing the lawn."

How much do you get paid?

The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes one Saturday morning and set about all the chores he'd been putting off for weeks. He'd cleaned out the garage, pruned the hedges, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulls up and yells out her window, Say, what do you get for yard work?
The homeowner thought for a moment, then answered, The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her.

Manual labour

My mate pointed out the window and said, "Is that your wife mowing the lawn out there?"
"Yeah, she never stops," I replied
"Call me old fashioned if you want, but I hate to see a woman doing manual labour."
"Me too," I replied, as I closed the curtains

Mowing the grass.

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting on my porch, drinking a beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass."

Woke up at 6 o' clock this morning ...

...with a b**... hangover listening to my neighbour mowing his lawn , was going to get up and throttle the sod , but then thought "To Heck with it , he can mow around me."

My wife was mowing the yard!

I was sitting back on the porch drinking a cold one while my wife was out in the heat mowing the yard. The lady next door came over to me in anger and said you should be hung. I told her I was that's why my wife was mowing the yard.

We've been having really nice weather lately.

Today my neighbor with the big t**... was mowing the lawn t**.... I just wish his wife would do the same.

I was out mowing my lawn...

I was out mowing my lawn. When I had to stop and refill the mower with gasoline.
The gas can broke and spilled gasoline into a puddle. I went to get some absorbent to clean up the mess but found the local stray cat had lapped up all that spilled gasoline.
I tried catch it, but it went racing around the block, then back into my yard and right up my tallest tree. Then fell right off the top of the tree.
Feeling bad I took the cat to the vet, the doctor gave the cat an exam and I finally asked, "Is the cat alright?"
The doctor replied, "the cat is fine, it just ran out of gas."

My dad was mowing the lawn the other day.......

I was watching him, when I noticed that he was crying. I shouted to my mum and asked her why he was crying. She shouted back "He's just going through a rough patch."

A woman is mowing the lawn on a hot summer afternoon...

Her husband sits on the patio, cheerfully drinking a cold beer. Their elderly neighbor looks upon the scene, outraged, and says to the husband "How disgraceful! You ought to be hung!"
"I am," he said, "that's why she's mowing the lawn."

I ran over some flowers when I was mowing today


Violent Video Games are alot like Landscaping..

a whole lot of mowing through stuff with a few patches here and there


A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My s**... computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

Mowing joke, Mail

jokes about mowing