Mower Jokes
45 mower jokes and hilarious mower puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mower that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs? We've got you covered! Check out our collection of Mower Jokes - from John Deere mowers to pulpit jokes and snowblower one-liners, this list has something for everyone, even the biggest Methodist!
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Funniest Mower Short Jokes
Short mower jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mower humour may include short mowing man jokes also.
- Just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out. He said he'll be fine, he's just going through a rough patch.
- My son saw me slumped over our lawn mower, bawling my eyes out... He screamed, "Dad! What's wrong!? Are you ok?!"
I said, "Don't worry son, I'll be fine. I was just going through a rough patch..." - I put an old lawn mower out on the street, with a FREE sign next to it. Somebody came and took the sign, but left the mower.
Guess I should have been more specific… - What did the monkey say when he got his tail caught in the lawn mower? It won't be long now.
- Who makes more money? A lawn mower or a fisherman? The lawnmower... he gets grass income while the fisherman gets net income
- A buddy had a lawn mower accident and died after getting the ends of his feet cut off. Doctors diagnosed him as lack-toes intolerant
- My new mower says I need to check the oil before each use and change it annually. I think I'd rather change it the old fashioned way.
- How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
- I went to Home Depot and bought that new Lawn Mower they were advertising in front of the store I think his name is Jorge and I highly recommend him
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Mower One Liners
Which mower one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mower? I can suggest the ones about mowing the lawn and lawn mowing.
- The band static X just designed a lawn mower Yeah... you push it.
- What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear with a lawn mower? Killed.
- Anyone can use my lawn mower at any time Given that they don't leave my yard
- What do you call a lawn mower that operates on its own? Cutting-hedge technology
- What's grey and red and goes 100mph? A baby bunny being discharged from my lawn mower.
- What do you call a lawn mower that lets you mow grass at an angle? A protractor.
- Did you hear about the Mexican Lawnmower? It was a *Juan Deer* mower
- What happened to the ice cream cone that got ran over by a lawn mower? it was a la mowed
- Why was the lawn mower kicked out of training? Unfortunately he didn't make the cut.
- My legal problems are growing… I need a good law mower.
- Why do they call it a "lawn mower"... When it makes the lawn less.
- Why did the frog jump under the lawn mower? He wanted to kermit s**....
- How does a vegan shave their p**...? With a lawn mower.
- What do you call a Mexican on a riding lawn mower? Promoted.
- Yo mama is just like a lawn mower: everyone gets a push.
Charming Humor Mower Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about mower you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mowing grass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mower pranks.
A blond and a redhead are talking one afternoon.
Redhead - "So how was your weekend?"
Blond - "Not to good my cat got it's tail cut off by the lawn mower."
Redhead - "That's terrible! What did you do about it?"
Blond - "Well I got the cat and it's tail and took it to Walmart."
Redhead - "Why wouldnt you take the cat to the vet?"
Blond - "Well I heard that Walmart was the larger retailer in the country."
Credit goes to my mother for this one.
Boat for sale
Ole walks by Sven's house and sees a sign that says "Boat for sale". He walks up the driveway and only sees a tractor and a lawn mower. He goes up to the door and says, "Ole, I see dat sign dat says 'boat for sale,' but alls I see is a tractor and a lawn mower." Sven says, "Yup, and dey're boat for sale."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hardware store
So a woman goes into a hardware store to buy a hinge for a door.
She puts the hinge on the counter, and the guy says, "Excuse me lady, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
And she says, "No, but I'll blow you for that lawn mower."
I hate it when my neighbor mows the lawn at 7 in the morning
This one Saturday morning I get woken up by my neighbor's mower going at 7 in the morning. I have quite a bad hangover and I just decide screw him he can cut around me. .
I was out mowing my lawn...
I was out mowing my lawn. When I had to stop and refill the mower with gasoline.
The gas can broke and spilled gasoline into a puddle. I went to get some absorbent to clean up the mess but found the local stray cat had lapped up all that spilled gasoline.
I tried catch it, but it went racing around the block, then back into my yard and right up my tallest tree. Then fell right off the top of the tree.
Feeling bad I took the cat to the vet, the doctor gave the cat an exam and I finally asked, "Is the cat alright?"
The doctor replied, "the cat is fine, it just ran out of gas."
If a teacup holds tea and a coffee cup holds coffee then what does a peecup hold?
Three Mexicans, a lawn mower, two leaf blowers and a half dozen rakes will fit in a peecup (pickup with Spanish accent).
I use to work for a hardware store.
I was being trained by this older gentlemen and he was telling me that the job was all about the up sale. I told me to watch as he went up to someone buying grass seed.
"You should buy this new lawn mower too. You don't want to be cutting your nice new grass with an old lawnmower."
So I turn around and see a guy with a box of tampons and give it a try.
"You should buy a new lawn mower. Your weekends ruined anyway, might as well cut the grass."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the r**... take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?
Because they're the largest re-tail-er
Yard work
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
