Movie Jokes
147 movie jokes and hilarious movie puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about movie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Movie Short Jokes
Short movie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The movie humour may include short film jokes also.
- My grandfather warned people that the titanic would sink No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre
- Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared. Apparently only DC movies can do that.
- The movie Speed didn't have a director... Because if Speed had direction, it would have been called Velocity.
- Have you seen the new Exorcist movie? This time it's the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.
- Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.
- My son asked me, Dad, can we watch spider Man—Far from Home tonight? I said, Why? It is the same movie if you watch it nearby.
- A guy was screaming at the TV Run idiot, run! His wife walked in and asked Are you watching a horror movie? . He said No. It's our wedding tape
- My wife asked me, Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating? So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.
- Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi. VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it. - If you ever feel lonely... just dim down the lights and put on a couple horror movies. After a while, you won't feel like you are alone anymore.
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Movie One Liners
Which movie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with movie? I can suggest the ones about video and scene.
- What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot? 671 Hallmark movies.
- What's Mitch McConnell's favorite movie? Kill bill.
- Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies. Nyetflix.
- Why were the star wars movies released 4,5,6,1,2,3,7,8 In charge of planning Yoda was
- "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…
- What is Samsung ceo's favorite movie Total recall
- Who isn't allowed to watch PG movies? Orphans.
- What is Leonardo decaprio's favorite movie? constanTEEN
- Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7.
- I've calculated the name for the next Fast & Furious movie... Fast 10: Your Seatbelts
- What do men and women have in common? Both need some tissues after watching a good movie.
- Why was the Jazz movie rated R Too much sax and violins
- I just finished a documentary on beavers Best dam movie I've ever seen.
- I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic. It's syncing now.
- In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ... the entire story is the sub-plot.
Watching Movie Jokes
Here is a list of funny watching movie jokes and even better watching movie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie. He should've watched the trailer.
- I just watched a movie about a y=x graph The plot was a bit predictable
And a little flat
Good special f(x) though - I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
- Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie? Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!
- My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange for movie night, but I said no. I had Stranger Things to watch.
- In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains: "Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."
- I just watched Wonder Woman 1984 and I had zero idea what was going on. Guess I shouldn't have skipped the other 1,983 movies.
- Just watched a pirated movie On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 3.14
- What's the biggest difference between men and women? What they mean when they say I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie .
- My girlfriend got really upset when we watched the Harry Potter movies back to back It isn't my fault I was the one facing the tv
Movie Star Jokes
Here is a list of funny movie star jokes and even better movie star puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie! They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.
- What do you call it when there's a movie about the Guardians of the Galaxy before they met Star-Lord? A pre-Quill.
- I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5 It was a pi rated DVD
- I once was asked to star in a movie for a million dollars but I declined. I don't have that much money.
- Star wars dad joke heard tonight Dad "Chewbacca seems kinda big for an ewok..."
Me "he's a wookie. "
Dad "he can't be, he's been in lots of movies now." - In honor of Father's day, a dad joke There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.
He'll be Bach - I gave that movie 3.14 stars! Cause I pi-rated it.
- What do you call a movie with 3.14 stars? Pirated
- The Last Jedi was really good Definitely in my top 10 Star Wars movies
- What's the difference between Mike Myers and Michael Myers? Michael Myers starred in a successful movie in the last decade.
Saw Movie Jokes
Here is a list of funny saw movie jokes and even better saw movie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I saw Black Panther 2 without knowing anything about it. I had no idea Wakanda movie it was.
- My friend asked me what the biggest fish I ever caught was. "Have you ever saw the movie jaws? I asked. "Well it was about the same size as the box the dvd came in."
- Just saw the Black Panther movie 3/5 would recommend.
- I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts..... The plot was riveting!
- Movies are always more fun if you dress up like the characters. Like the time I didn't eat for 3 weeks and then saw Schindler's List.
- I saw a movie trailer about 30 trapped chillean miners... Apparently Jared from subway had a stash...
(I'm so sorry about this, I just thought of it and needed to get it out) - I ask my brother if he wanted to watch any war movies. He said he was tired of watching people getting shot. I said "you never saw anyone get shot, you graduated HS 12 years ago."
- I saw a movie about a farmer who went out of business The plot wasn't very good
- Just saw Pixar's latest movie. Not only was it great... ... it was incredible, too.
- Arrrgghhh... My Retinas Are on Fire I just saw The Emoji Movie.
Movie Theater Jokes
Here is a list of funny movie theater jokes and even better movie theater puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How ungrateful people are My grandfather tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink. Besides not believing in him, they also expelled him from the movie theater!
- Overheard in line for a movie... Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"
Teenage boy: "October 12th."
Employee: "What year?"
Boy: "Every year." - Starting this Thursday, some movie theaters will not allow large bags inside the theater But thank God I have a few twix up my sleeve
- I was invited to a theater to watch a pornographic horror movie... But I was too scared to come.
- "Lincoln" grossed $275,000,000 in movie theaters Which is ironic since historically Lincoln doesn't do too well in theaters
- What do 85% of movies that don't hit the theaters all have in common? Nicholas Cage
- Have you seen "Schrodinger's Cat the Movie"? It doesn't have any showing times. You buy a ticket but won't know if it is playing or not until you walk into the theater.
- Did you hear about Peewee Herman's new movie? It's going straight to Netflix because he already released in theaters
- Why is Bear Grylls a good friend to take to the movie theater? He sneaks his own drinks in.
- Why wasn't the Canadian scared at the movie theater? He knew Nunavut was real.
Comical & Quirky Movie Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about movie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean actor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make movie pranks.
George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...
George Clooney said, "I'll direct."
Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."
And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."
If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose...
would you go to lunch or a movie?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to my girlfriend's house last night for a romantic night in...
It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing s**... that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...
I am now banned from babysitting.
There's a movie coming out about a big rig truck.
Have you seen the trailer?
Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie?
Because it was PG
Stewardess
Yes, Sir?
I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep.
Captain, shut up and land the plane.
Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Because it's the first Indy movie.
A good way to get to know your date
is to ask about their first pet, favorite movie, and mom's maiden name.
Then login and read all their emails.
TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.
He's never gonna give you Up
I actually heard a joke the other day about an alternate ending to the movie Hook
where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter back to London in a body bag. It's a good joke, if a little dark, but it does require a dead Pan delivery.
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman...
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman.
A good example: I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend who works at the movie theater died yesterday...
f**... services are being held today at 4:25, 5:40, 7:10 and 9:45
Add a word to ruin a movie:
- Batman Begins College
- The Longest Yard Sale
- Charlottes Web Cam.
Everyone's excited for the new Minecraft movie.
It's sure to be a real blockbuster
I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken. I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.
I'll leave now.
I went to a party last night...
..and everyone was watching a movie on the TV. I being introverted, hadn't talked with anyone and was watching movie by myself. When the movie ended, everyone was debating on what to watch next.
I decided to put on the movie I had brought from home. It was pretty funny and had Jim Carrey in it.
Everyone really like it. People started talking to me and thanking me for the movie. No one cared who I was until I put on The Mask.
So, I just tried a new drinking game.
I put in the Bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.
Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed.
(ROGUE ONE SPOILER) So the nickname...
Throughout the movie, you see Galen calls Jyn his stardust, I thought it was pretty cute.
I just didn't expect it to be so literal though.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The movie 'Up' is utter b**....
I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die.
They're finally making a movie about clocks.
It's about time
I have a Spotify playlist that has songs from The Peanuts Movie, Eminem, and The Cranberries
I call it my trail mix.
TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because...
...bugs.
So they just announced the title to the tenth fast and furious movie..
Fast10: Your Seatbelts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the original 'Good Will Hunting' script, there is a surprise gay s**... scene between the two straight leads. It was purposely put there as a test to see if studios actually read the script. Harvey Weinstein was the only producer who mentioned the scene
Weinstein said that the s**... scene usually takes place before he approves a movie
Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film.
One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".
I hate it when people talk and eat loud in the cinema.
Like shutup, I'm trying to film a movie here!
My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.
He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.
A woman was arrested for bringing her own popcorn, candy, and soda to the movie theater.
She was fined and had to pay court fees, but the good news is she still came out a few bucks ahead from if she would have bought the popcorn at the theater.
What is Bill Cosby's favorite movie?
Sleeping Beauty.
I asked out a Russian girl.....
I asked out a Russian girl, not with anything very serious in mind. She said yes.
However, on our first date, she insisted that we went to see a Russian movie, and then eat at a Russian restaurant. She then took me to see her Russian family, and told me about how she was going to take me to see the rest of her family in Russia.
At this point, I had to stop her. "Please", I said, "just stop Russian things!"
If Shrek had been an average movie, it would've been
Mediogre
Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me whether I wanted to watch a movie. She said, What do you want to see?
Me: You pick.
Her: You pick.
Me: I don't care which movie. You pick.
Her: Sir, there are people behind you in line waiting to buy tickets.
I was with a deaf girl who knew sign language, we were watching that movie where Johnny Depp has blades for fingers. I couldn't remember what that character was called so I sign to her, What's that character's name?
Edward, says her hands.
A man goes to the movies and sees a large dog sitting next to a woman watching the film
He says to her "I am surprised your dog is enjoying this movie"
The woman replies "Me too, he hated the book"
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.
Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it.
Today I learned about the Astley paradox!
If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up.
However, in doing so, he lets you down.
Thus creating the Astley Paradox.
Yesterday, I approached a gorgeous girl, and she was pleased, which wasn't something I expected
I asked the girl for a movie.
She : "Which movie"? with a sweet smile.
Me : "You decide".
She : "No, you should decide"
Me : "No, you decide"
She : "Sir, please select which movie ticket you want. There are others behind you in the line as well"
I don't know why so many people thought Cats was a bad movie.
They played it on my flight home and there were only two walkouts.
A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies
In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you £20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.
20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets £20 to give.
Her boyfriend said "I can't take this, I have seen the movie before."
She replies, "So have I but I didn't think lightning would strike twice in the same place!"
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."
Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."
Does anyone know what the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people
What is the most unrealistic part of the newest James Bond movie?
A Brit with a full petrol tank.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw an R-rated movie with no blood, no n**... and no profanity
It was a little overrated
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Netflix is releasing a movie about the inventor of the t**...
It's a period piece
I took my wife to a movie about a girl hitting puberty
It was a period piece
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a movie coming out soon about h**......
I can't wait to see the trailer.
Movie ratings are an indication of who gets the girl
* Rated G - the prince gets the girl.
* Rated PG - the hero gets the girl.
* Rated R - the villain gets the girl.
* Rated X - everyone gets the girl!
I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris.
Turns out that idea was taken. I then had another idea for a movie where the same agent is kidnapped with his ex-wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.
The movie Titanic turns 25 later this year.
In related news, Leonardo DiCaprio said he is no longer interested in seeing it.
Imagine the uproar if Blazing Saddles was made today.
People would say "this is plagiarism, make your own movie".
I wanted to see that new movie titled "Constipated"
It hasn't come out yet.
