The Best 65 Movie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Movie jokes. There are some movie porno jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these movie lego movie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Movie Jokes and Puns

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.

Wife: Never

H: Pistol, 3 letters.

W: Gun

H: Disgust, 3 letters.

W: Ugh

H: Charity, 4 letters.

W: Give

H: Female sheep, 3 letters

W: Ewe

H: Pixar movie, 2 letters

W: Up

Given that a radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs."

It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."

George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...

George Clooney said, "I'll direct."

Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."

And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."ο»Ώ

jokes about movie

What do men and women have in common?

Both need some tissues after watching a good movie.


Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

Just watched a pirated movie

On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 3.14

Movie joke, Just watched a pirated movie

I just watched a movie about a y=x graph

The plot was a bit predictable

And a little flat

Good special f(x) though

Stewardess

Yes, Sir?

I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep.

Captain, shut up and land the plane.

In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains:

"Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."

TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up

You can explore movie documentary reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean movie sylvester dad jokes. There are also movie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise

The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.

In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ...

the entire story is the sub-plot.

Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie.

He should've watched the trailer.

What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie

Total recall

Movie joke, What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie

I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken. I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.

I'll leave now.

I went to a party last night...

..and everyone was watching a movie on the TV. I being introverted, hadn't talked with anyone and was watching movie by myself. When the movie ended, everyone was debating on what to watch next.

I decided to put on the movie I had brought from home. It was pretty funny and had Jim Carrey in it.

Everyone really like it. People started talking to me and thanking me for the movie. No one cared who I was until I put on The Mask.

Breaking News: A movie theatre has just been robbed of over two thousand dollars

The theives took a large soda and two bags of popcorn


Why was the Jazz movie rated R

Too much sax and violins

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me."

Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…

An attractive woman asked me if I wanted to see a movie yesterday.

She said what would you like to see.
I said you pick.
She said you pick.
I said I don't care you pick.
She said, Sir there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets.

I have a Spotify playlist that has songs from The Peanuts Movie, Eminem, and The Cranberries

I call it my trail mix.

So they just announced the title to the tenth fast and furious movie..

Fast10: Your Seatbelts.

Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie?

Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!

In the original 'Good Will Hunting' script, there is a surprise gay sex scene between the two straight leads. It was purposely put there as a test to see if studios actually read the script. Harvey Weinstein was the only producer who mentioned the scene

Weinstein said that the sex scene usually takes place before he approves a movie

Movie joke, In the original 'Good Will Hunting' script, there is a surprise gay sex scene between the two straig

I've calculated the name for the next Fast & Furious movie...

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.

He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.

A woman was arrested for bringing her own popcorn, candy, and soda to the movie theater.

She was fined and had to pay court fees, but the good news is she still came out a few bucks ahead from if she would have bought the popcorn at the theater.


A guy was screaming at the TV Run idiot, run!

His wife walked in and asked Are you watching a horror movie? . He said No. It's our wedding tape

Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars.

The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.

Husband doing crossword with wife..

Husband : emphatic no, five letters
 

Wife : never

H : pistol, three letters
 

W : gun

H : disgust, three letters
 

W : ugh

H : charity, four letters
 

W : give

H : female sheep, three letters
 

W : ewe

H : Pixar movie, two letters
 

W : Up

If Shrek had been an average movie, it would've been

Mediogre

Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me whether I wanted to watch a movie. She said, What do you want to see?

Me: You pick.

Her: You pick.

Me: I don't care which movie. You pick.

Her: Sir, there are people behind you in line waiting to buy tickets.


Boy: Hey wanna see a movie with me tonight?

Girl: I have a boyfriend.

Boy: and i have a math test tomorrow.

Girl: What does that have to do with anything?

Boy: I thought we were listing things we were going to cheat on.

I was with a deaf girl who knew sign language, we were watching that movie where Johnny Depp has blades for fingers. I couldn't remember what that character was called so I sign to her, What's that character's name?

Edward, says her hands.

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

Have you seen the new Exorcist movie?

This time it's the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.

I just finished a documentary on beavers

Best dam movie I've ever seen.

Today I learned about the Astley paradox!

If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up.

However, in doing so, he lets you down.

Thus creating the Astley Paradox.

I don't know why so many people thought Cats was a bad movie.

They played it on my flight home and there were only two walkouts.

My wife asked me, Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?

So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.

The movie Speed didn't have a director...

Because if Speed had direction, it would have been called Velocity.

What's Mitch McConnell's favorite movie?

Kill Bill.

My friend asked me what the biggest fish I ever caught was. "Have you ever saw the movie jaws? I asked.

"Well it was about the same size as the box the dvd came in."

So I was doing crossword with my girlfriend,

Me: Emphatic no, five letters.

She: **Never**

Me: Pistol, 3 letters.

She: **Gun**

Me: Disgust, 3 letters.

She: **Ugh**

Me: Charity, 4 letters.

She: **Give**

Me: Female sheep, 3 letters

She: **Ewe**

Me: Pixar movie, 2 letters

She: **Up**

Does anyone know what the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people

Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi.

VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.

Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it.

I just realized Titanic and the Sixth Sense are basically the same movie.

Icy dead People!

I saw an R-rated movie with no blood, no nudity and no profanity

It was a little overrated

Clooney, Dicaprio, and McConaughey all want to put a movie together

Clooney says "I'll direct."

Dicaprio says "I'll act."

McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write."

My son asked me, Dad, can we watch Spider Manβ€”Far from Home tonight?

I said, Why? It is the same movie if you watch it nearby.

There's a movie coming out soon about hillbillies...

I can't wait to see the trailer.

Movie ratings are an indication of who gets the girl

* Rated G - the prince gets the girl.
* Rated PG - the hero gets the girl.
* Rated R - the villain gets the girl.
* Rated X - everyone gets the girl!

I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris.

Turns out that idea was taken. I then had another idea for a movie where the same agent is kidnapped with his ex-wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.

My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange for movie night, but I said no.

I had Stranger Things to watch.

The movie Titanic turns 25 later this year.

In related news, Leonardo DiCaprio said he is no longer interested in seeing it.

One day, Leonardo DiCaprio, Steven Spielberg and Matthew McConaughey get together and decide to make a movie.

DiCaprio says "I'll act."
Spielberg says "I'll direct."
McConaughey says "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

What's the most underrated joke you've heard in a movie?

Mine is from The Hangover:

Alan: I can't afford to lose somebody close to me again, it hurts too much. I was so upset when my grandpa died.

Phil: How'd he die?

Alan: World War II.

Phil: Died in battle?

Alan: No, he was skiing in Vermont, it was just during World War II.

Imagine the uproar if Blazing Saddles was made today.

People would say "this is plagiarism, make your own movie".

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order.

I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.

I went to the movies and there was a man who brought his dog into the theater with him.

After the movie, I went up to the man and I said "Hey this might sound weird, but it seemed like your dog was really enjoying the movie." The man said "Yeah, I'm suprised too, because he *hated* the book!"

Composers

Stallone: 'I'm making a movie about composers, I'll be Beethoven'

Van Damme: 'I'll be Mozart'

Schwarzenegger: 'Stop it guys, I'm not saying it!'

A walkie-talkie invited a lump of coal to dinner and a movie.

Classic example of radio-carbon dating.

A man is returning to his seat in the movie theater after visiting the toilets.

"Excuse me," he says to the lady sitting beside the aisle, "Did I step on your foot when I went out?"

"Yes you did," says the lady angrily.

"Oh good," says the man, "that means I'm in the right row."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the movie friends movie puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working movie horror movie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes