movie Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious movie puns

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

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Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.

Wife: Never

H: Pistol, 3 letters.

W: Gun

H: Disgust, 3 letters.

W: Ugh

H: Charity, 4 letters.

W: Give

H: Female sheep, 3 letters

W: Ewe

H: Pixar movie, 2 letters

W: Up

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My girlfriend always takes long baths after we finish watching a Ryan gosling movie

I don't know what she's doing in there, but it gives me lots of time to jerk off to Ryan Gosling

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Given that a radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs."

It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."

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George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...

George Clooney said, "I'll direct."

Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."

And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."ο»Ώ

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Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars.

The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.

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"Dead or alive, you're coming with me."

Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…

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A guy was screaming at the TV Run idiot, run!

His wife walked in and asked Are you watching a horror movie? . He said No. It's our wedding tape

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I was watching a movie with my son the other day. He got scared and asked me, "Daddy, is that woman really gonna die?"

I said, "Judging by the size of that horse's cock, yes."

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In the original 'Good Will Hunting' script, there is a surprise gay sex scene between the two straight leads. It was purposely put there as a test to see if studios actually read the script. Harvey Weinstein was the only producer who mentioned the scene

Weinstein said that the sex scene usually takes place before he approves a movie

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I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken. I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.

I'll leave now.

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A woman was arrested for bringing her own popcorn, candy, and soda to the movie theater.

She was fined and had to pay court fees, but the good news is she still came out a few bucks ahead from if she would have bought the popcorn at the theater.

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What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie

Total recall

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What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite movie?

IT'S FUCKING FROZEN

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Dad with his son are watching a movie when a sex scene begins

\-Son, leave the room please.

\-Dad, but I'm 23...

\-I don't give a fuck how old you are, you're not going to watch me jack off.

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An attractive woman asked me if I wanted to see a movie yesterday.

She said what would you like to see.
I said you pick.
She said you pick.
I said I don't care you pick.
She said, Sir there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets.

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Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie.

He should've watched the trailer.

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I had an idea for a movie plot.

A retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken.
I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.

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Imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left 10 mins into it. Dick move, right?

My point is old people shouldn't get to vote

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I just watched a movie about a y=x graph

The plot was a bit predictable


And a little flat


Good special f(x) though

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Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

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Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

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I've calculated the name for the next Fast & Furious movie...

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

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What do men and women have in common?

Both need some tissues after watching a good movie.

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Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie?

Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!

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Why was the Jazz movie rated R

Too much sax and violins

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TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up

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Breaking News: A movie theatre has just been robbed of over two thousand dollars

The theives took a large soda and two bags of popcorn

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In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ...

the entire story is the sub-plot.

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A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise

The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.

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I went to a party last night...

..and everyone was watching a movie on the TV. I being introverted, hadn't talked with anyone and was watching movie by myself. When the movie ended, everyone was debating on what to watch next.


I decided to put on the movie I had brought from home. It was pretty funny and had Jim Carrey in it.


Everyone really like it. People started talking to me and thanking me for the movie. No one cared who I was until I put on The Mask.

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In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains:

"Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."

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I spent some quality time with my 5-year old grandson today watching a movie....

Halfway through he asked, "Is that lady going to die?"

"Probably," I replied, "judging by the size of that horse's cock."

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I have a Spotify playlist that has songs from The Peanuts Movie, Eminem, and The Cranberries

I call it my trail mix.

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Just watched a pirated movie

On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 3.14

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What are the most funny Movie jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Movie? Well, here are the best Movie dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Movie pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes