The Best 67 Movie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Movie jokes. There are some movie porno jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these movie yo mama movie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Movie Jokes and Puns

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.

Wife: Never

H: Pistol, 3 letters.

W: Gun

H: Disgust, 3 letters.

W: Ugh

H: Charity, 4 letters.

W: Give

H: Female sheep, 3 letters

W: Ewe

H: Pixar movie, 2 letters

W: Up

Given that a radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs."

It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."

Movie joke, Given that a radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie

George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...

George Clooney said, "I'll direct."

Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."

And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."ο»Ώ

If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose...

would you go to lunch or a movie?


Movie Ratings Explained

G: Nobody gets the girl.

PG: The good guy gets the girl.

R: The bad guy gets the girl.

X: Everybody gets the girl!

What do men and women have in common?

Both need some tissues after watching a good movie.

Movie joke, What do men and women have in common?

Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

Just watched a pirated movie

On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 3.14

I just watched a movie about a y=x graph

The plot was a bit predictable

And a little flat

Good special f(x) though

Stewardess

Yes, Sir?

I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep.

Captain, shut up and land the plane.

You can explore movie documentary reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean movie sylvester dad jokes. There are also movie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Because it's the first Indy movie.

In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains:

"Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."

TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up

Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise

The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.

Movie joke, A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise

I actually heard a joke the other day about an alternate ending to the movie Hook

where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter back to London in a body bag. It's a good joke, if a little dark, but it does require a dead Pan delivery.

In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ...

the entire story is the sub-plot.

Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman...

Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman.

A good example: I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!


Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie.

He should've watched the trailer.

What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie

Total recall

I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken. I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.

I'll leave now.

I went to a party last night...

..and everyone was watching a movie on the TV. I being introverted, hadn't talked with anyone and was watching movie by myself. When the movie ended, everyone was debating on what to watch next.

I decided to put on the movie I had brought from home. It was pretty funny and had Jim Carrey in it.

Everyone really like it. People started talking to me and thanking me for the movie. No one cared who I was until I put on The Mask.

So, I just tried a new drinking game.

I put in the Bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.

Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed.

Breaking News: A movie theatre has just been robbed of over two thousand dollars

The theives took a large soda and two bags of popcorn

Why was the Jazz movie rated R

Too much sax and violins

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me."

Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…

An attractive woman asked me if I wanted to see a movie yesterday.

She said what would you like to see.
I said you pick.
She said you pick.
I said I don't care you pick.
She said, Sir there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets.

I have a Spotify playlist that has songs from The Peanuts Movie, Eminem, and The Cranberries

I call it my trail mix.

A hot girl asked me if i wanted to watch a movie

Yesterday, a hot girl asked me if I wanted to see a movie

She asked, "What would you like to see?"

I said, "You pick".

She said, "You pick".

I said, "I don't care, you pick".

She said, "Sir, there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets."

TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because...

...bugs.

So they just announced the title to the tenth fast and furious movie..

Fast10: Your Seatbelts.

Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie?

Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!

In the original 'Good Will Hunting' script, there is a surprise gay sex scene between the two straight leads. It was purposely put there as a test to see if studios actually read the script. Harvey Weinstein was the only producer who mentioned the scene

Weinstein said that the sex scene usually takes place before he approves a movie

A hot girl asked me whether I wanted to see a movie.

She said, "Which movie would you like to see?".

I said, "You pick".

She said, "No you pick".

I said, "I don't care, you pick".

She said, "Please decide fast sir, there are other people waiting to buy tickets".

[A forward that I received from my SO today]

I've calculated the name for the next Fast & Furious movie...

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

I hate it when people talk and eat loud in the cinema.

Like shutup, I'm trying to film a movie here!

My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.

He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.

A woman was arrested for bringing her own popcorn, candy, and soda to the movie theater.

She was fined and had to pay court fees, but the good news is she still came out a few bucks ahead from if she would have bought the popcorn at the theater.

A guy was screaming at the TV Run idiot, run!

His wife walked in and asked Are you watching a horror movie? . He said No. It's our wedding tape

Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars.

The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.

Husband doing crossword with wife..

Husband : emphatic no, five letters
 

Wife : never

H : pistol, three letters
 

W : gun

H : disgust, three letters
 

W : ugh

H : charity, four letters
 

W : give

H : female sheep, three letters
 

W : ewe

H : Pixar movie, two letters
 

W : Up

If Shrek had been an average movie, it would've been

Mediogre

Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me whether I wanted to watch a movie. She said, What do you want to see?

Me: You pick.

Her: You pick.

Me: I don't care which movie. You pick.

Her: Sir, there are people behind you in line waiting to buy tickets.

Boy: Hey wanna see a movie with me tonight?

Girl: I have a boyfriend.

Boy: and i have a math test tomorrow.

Girl: What does that have to do with anything?

Boy: I thought we were listing things we were going to cheat on.

I was with a deaf girl who knew sign language, we were watching that movie where Johnny Depp has blades for fingers. I couldn't remember what that character was called so I sign to her, What's that character's name?

Edward, says her hands.

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

Have you seen the new Exorcist movie?

This time it's the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.

I just finished a documentary on beavers

Best dam movie I've ever seen.

Today I learned about the Astley paradox!

If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up.

However, in doing so, he lets you down.

Thus creating the Astley Paradox.

I don't know why so many people thought Cats was a bad movie.

They played it on my flight home and there were only two walkouts.

A husband is doing crosswords with his wife.

**Husband:** Emphatic no; five letters.

**Wife:** Never.

**H:** Pistol; three letters.

**W:** Gun.

**H:** Disgust; three letters.

**W:** Ugh.

**H:** Charity; four letters.

**W:** Give.

**H:** Female sheep; three letters.

**W:** Ewe.

**H:** Pixar movie; two letters.

**W:** Up.

My wife asked me, Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?

So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.

The movie Speed didn't have a director...

Because if Speed had direction, it would have been called Velocity.

A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies

In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you Β£20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.

20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets Β£20 to give.



Her boyfriend said "I can't take this, I have seen the movie before."

She replies, "So have I but I didn't think lightning would strike twice in the same place!"

What's Mitch McConnell's favorite movie?

Kill Bill.

My friend asked me what the biggest fish I ever caught was. "Have you ever saw the movie jaws? I asked.

"Well it was about the same size as the box the dvd came in."

A movie theater in my town was recently robbed of over $20,000 of merchandise

The thieves apparently stole 5 popcorn/soda combos and 10 boxes of Raisinets.

So I was doing crossword with my girlfriend,

Me: Emphatic no, five letters.

She: **Never**

Me: Pistol, 3 letters.

She: **Gun**

Me: Disgust, 3 letters.

She: **Ugh**

Me: Charity, 4 letters.

She: **Give**

Me: Female sheep, 3 letters

She: **Ewe**

Me: Pixar movie, 2 letters

She: **Up**

I will be furious

if the next Fast and Furious movie isn't called Fast10 Your Seatbelts

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.

Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart.

Statham: I'm rather partial to Beethoven myself.

Jet Li: Chopin!

Everyone having had their turn they turn to Schwarzeneggar who is straight up not interested in the project.

Arnold: No! This is a dumb movie.

Everyone: Come on...

Arnold: Fine! I'll be Bach.

What is an Anti-Vaxxer's favourite movie?

Mrs. Doubt-Pfizer

First date

A girl was going on her first date, and before she went her mother said "Listen carefully: Boys are only after one thing, so whatever he asks you, always say NO!".

So they go to watch a movie, then off to a restaurant for a bite to eat. At the end of the meal, the boy says "Do you mind if we go back to my place and have sex?".

A walkie talkie invited a lump of coal to dinner and a movie.

Radio-carbon dating

What will the 10th movie in the Fast and Furious franchise be called?

Fast10

Your seat belts

Does anyone know what the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people

A new Taken movie is being made.

In it, Liam Neeson feels like nobody appreciates the effort he went through to get his family back. So he pays people to kidnap him to make his family see the lengths he went through to save them.

It's going to be called Taken 4 Granted.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the movie knock knock movie jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working movie movie studio goats piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes