move Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious move puns

A chess joke: What's the difference between a rook and a bishop?

Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops have sex with kids.

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Humans are being tested against the new AI program

The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because




ROBOTS CANT RECAPTCHA

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I get that the #me too movement is supposed to be empowering...

But they could've picked a better slogan than PoundMeToo

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Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election?

Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

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I'm not sure faith can move mountains...

But we all know what it can do to skyscrapers.

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Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy or paranoid is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move.

But convincing her she's a robot with artificial implanted human emotions is called bladerunning. It's a Phillip K. Dick move.

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Imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left 10 mins into it. Dick move, right?

My point is old people shouldn't get to vote

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I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons.

I think I have telekinieces.

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Today in church they asked what a Bishop does

Apparently move diagonally wasn't the answer they were looking for.

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Two Muslim families move from Afghanistan to the US....

The fathers in each family make a bet to see who could be more Americanized after one year.

They meet a year later and the first father says, "I just took my son to baseball practice, had McDonalds for breakfast and I've racked up more debt than I'll ever be able to pay off."

The second father says, "fuck you, raghead".

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A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says

You can't do that. Bishops can only move diagonally.

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I was recently asked if I believed faith could move mountains.

Apparently "No, but I've seen what it can do to buildings," is the wrong answer.

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I saw a cop pull over a U Haul today...

Looks like he was trying to bust a move.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want her husband to become President?

She doesn't want to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

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Now that Harvey Weinstein's career in Hollywood is over, he should move to Houston.

Houston is used to getting fucked by Harvey.

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I never believed that faith could move mountains

But I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers

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During sex with my wife,

I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She said "What the hell are you doing?"


And I was like "Hush, I saw this on Pornhub, it's called buffering."

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If I ever move to Prague, I'll open a burrito shop.

And call it Bohemian Wrap City.

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I told my wife we had a pest problem.

But, apparently we have to wait until it's 18 years old to move out.

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My friend is visiting Germany this week. I suggested he might want to make it a permanent move.

There's fewer Nazis over there.

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If Trump is elected president...

He will be the first billionaire to move into government housing after a black man.

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Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

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A Store Manager asked me to move a Kia that was blocking an exit...

I told him, "I would, but that's not my Forte."

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Boy: Grandpa! Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog!

Grandpa: Why would I do that?
Boy: I heard mum telling dad, "We'll move to a bigger house once your father croaks."

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Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

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Son tells overprotective parent he is joining the army

"The ARMY? Are you fucking insane? Do you want to live in constant fear? Do you want to have some psycho drill sergeant hovering over you and controlling your every fucking move?!"

"No. That's why I'm leaving home and joining the army."

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A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat...

A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her student. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?!?!" the teacher yelled in shock. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

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Faith vs Science

I'm not convinced that faith can move mountains, but I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers.

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Two families make a bet on who can be more american

Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet to see, in a years time, which family has become more Americanized.

A Year later they meet again. The first man says,"My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonalds and im on my way to pick up a case of Bud Light.

How about you?"

The second man replies, "Go back to your sand country, towel head"

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'I just feel like being black is a huge disadvantage no matter how much skill you have ' said my friend

'oh come on, it's just one move at the start of the game' I responded as I took his Knight.

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My pet snake just lays around and won't move

I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction

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I've been dating a homeless woman recently and I think it's getting serious...

She's asked me to move out with her...

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Elon Musk: Did you move my car?

Team: Yeah.

Elon: Into the parking space, like I asked?

Team: Parking!?

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I took the shell off of my pet snail because I thought it would make him move faster

...if anything, it made him more sluggish

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On a first date:

Her - So what do you do?

Me - I am currently working on eliminating all cancers.

Her - Wow, that's impressive!

Me - Then I'll move onto Capricons.

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What are the most funny Move jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Move? Well, here are the best Move dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Move pick up lines to share with friends.

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