JokoJokes

Move Jokes

115 move jokes and hilarious move puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about move that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Move Short Jokes

Short move jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The move humour may include short moving jokes also.

  1. Why did the non-binary prospector move West in 1849? Because there was gold up in them/their hills.
  2. Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves. Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
  3. I've been dating this homeless chick for a while now and it's starting to get serious. She asked me to move out with her.
  4. A kid came out as bisexual to his dad and the dad said they have to move "This apartment has a strict no-animal policy.", he says. "Wait until they find out I have a bison."
  5. Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
  6. King Charles will not make as many foreign visits as Queen Elizabeth did. Because the Queen could go any distance but the king can only move one space at a time.
  7. I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.
  8. Today in church they asked what a Bishop does Apparently move diagonally wasn't the answer they were looking for.
  9. A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says You can't do that. Bishops can only move diagonally.
  10. I was recently asked if I believed faith could move mountains. Apparently "No, but I've seen what it can do to buildings," is the wrong answer.

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Move One Liners

Which move one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with move? I can suggest the ones about motion and transfer.

  1. Chess is banned under Islam They hate that the queen moves freely.
  2. I'm not sure faith can move mountains... But we all know what it can do to skyscrapers.
  3. What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon? An Apocaclipse.
  4. When I moved into my igloo, my friends threw me a house warming party Now I'm homeless
  5. If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd move U Cause you're blocking the TV
  6. What do you give to someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year? A trophy
  7. I saw a cop pull over a U Haul today... Looks like he was trying to bust a move.
  8. I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent... It goes without saying
  9. If I ever move to Prague, I'll open a burrito shop. And call it Bohemian Wrap City.
  10. Our new IT guy moved here from Australia... He comes from a LAN down under.
  11. If Hillary wins, I'm moving to... Benghazi. At least I know there, she'll leave me alone
  12. Why is Donald Trump moving to Egypt? To live in a state of de Nile.
  13. An ugly, broke, single man stood in my way So I moved the mirror
  14. Simba was moving too slowly So i told him to Mufasa
  15. Why did the Siamese twins move to England? So the other one could drive!

Move On Jokes

Here is a list of funny move on jokes and even better move on puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why doesn't Melania Trump want her husband to become President? She doesn't want to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
  • Kanye said he is an intellectual who doesn't read books. Which I get because I am an athlete that rarely moves.
  • I never believed that faith could move mountains But I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers
  • I told my wife we had a pest problem. But, apparently we have to wait until it's 18 years old to move out.
  • I am thinking of moving to Switzerland, I hear the social benefits are really great. Their cool looking flag is a really big plus, too
  • If Trump is elected president... He will be the first billionaire to move into government housing after a black man.
  • What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden? The average intelligence of both countries goes up.
  • A Store Manager asked me to move a Kia that was blocking an exit... I told him, "I would, but that's not my Forte."
  • I've been trying really hard to break up with my optician girlfriend. Every time I tell her I can't see her any more, she moves a bit closer to me says "How about now, is that any better?"
  • What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year? A trophy.

Bust Move Jokes

Here is a list of funny bust move jokes and even better bust move puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the cop pull over the u-haul truck? He wanted to bust-a-move
  • On may way to work today I passed a police officer that had pulled over a U-Haul.... I think he was trying to bust a move.
  • Why did the cop pull over the moving can? He wanted to bust-a-move.
Move joke, Why did the cop pull over the moving can?

Move joke, Why did the cop pull over the moving can?

Share Hilarious Move Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about move you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drag jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make move pranks.

My girlfriend told me to move out as i am no help around the house.

So as i walked out i tightened the lids on all the jars in the kitchen.

If a man and a woman get married in tennessee then move to Texas and get divorced…

Are they still brother and sister?

When life starts

A Priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi are having a discussion. They are trying to determine the exact point when life starts. The Muslim argues that life starts at conception. The Priest disagrees and says that life starts at birth. The Rabbi turns to the two men and says, you are both wrong. When the dog dies and the kids move out, that is when life begins.

A man goes into a bank...

...and proceeds to walk up to the nearest bank teller and pulls out a gun:
"Make one wrong move and you're geography!"
"Don't you mean history?" asks the teller
"Don't change the subject!"

How did Isis move from 5th wanted t**... group to the most wanted t**... group?

They cut a head

How did the Terminator convince his girlfriend to move in with him?

He said, "Live with me if you want to come."

After being made bishop, a man is asked what his next move will be.

Diagonal.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room

The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

So Donald Trump wants to be president and move into the white house. Why not?

It wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home.
 
 
*credits to Snoop Dogg @ Donald Trump roast*

Animals can sense disasters before they happen.

That's why the neighbors dog barks whenever I make a move on a girl.

I've been dating a homeless girl

So I've been dating this homeless girl.
Things are getting pretty serious.
She asked me to move out with her.

A man walks up to a woman in a bar.

He puts a lime next to her. The woman asks "what this"? The man says "its a lime". The woman says "can you move that lime somewhere else"? The man says "sure".The man tries to move the lime several times but cant seem to lift it. The woman says "is something wrong"? The man says "Sorry, I am bad at pick up limes".

I'm not convinced faith can move mountains, but I know what it can do to skyscrapers.

(Come on, it's been 15 years.)

I've been dating a homeless woman recently and I think it's getting serious...

She's asked me to move out with her...

On a first date:

Her - So what do you do?
Me - I am currently working on eliminating all cancers.
Her - Wow, that's impressive!
Me - Then I'll move onto Capricons.

How to lose weight

- Doctor, I'm fat, how do I lose weight?
- Just move your head from left to right and from right to left.
- How many times , doctor ?
- Every time someone offers you food.

How are blind kids punished by their parents?

The parents move the furniture.

A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.

"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"
The teller said "Don't you mean history?"
The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"

Jesus turned water into wine

I turned a paycheck into whiskey. Your move Jesus.

I made the Earth move for the last girl I had s**... with.

And then I moved it back to the hole I had buried her in.

On Sunday November 6th, USA will move an hour back ...

... and on Tuesday November 8th, we move back half a century.

People should not move to Canada because of Trump

They should go to Mexico, then at least there will be a wall between them and Trump.

My pet snake just lays around and won't move

I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction

Humans are being tested against the new AI program

The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because
ROBOTS CANT RECAPTCHA

I saw this really fit girl in the nightclub last night and she was wearing a chessboard patterned shirt...

So, I made a move on her.

Boy: Grandpa! Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog!

Grandpa: Why would I do that?
Boy: I heard mum telling dad, "We'll move to a bigger house once your father croaks."

Today I decided to take the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him move faster...

If anything he seems more sluggish!

My friend is visiting Germany this week. I suggested he might want to make it a permanent move.

There's fewer n**... over there.

My wife says she's fed up and is planning on leaving me this weekend.

Despite begging and pleading with her, she's adamant she won't move out before then.

A chess joke: What's the difference between a rook and a bishop?

Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops have s**... with kids.

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

When a musician's fingers move really fast across a piano, they're considered a prodigy and a genius.

But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the f**..., Emily".

Faith vs Science

I'm not convinced that faith can move mountains, but I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers.

I get that the #me too movement is supposed to be empowering...

But they could've picked a better slogan than PoundMeToo

Elon Musk: Did you move my car?

Team: Yeah.
Elon: Into the parking space, like I asked?
Team: Parking!?

'I just feel like being black is a huge disadvantage no matter how much skill you have ' said my friend

'oh come on, it's just one move at the start of the game' I responded as I took his Knight.

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

Two families make a bet on who can be more american

Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet to see, in a years time, which family has become more Americanized.
A Year later they meet again. The first man says,"My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonalds and im on my way to pick up a case of Bud Light.
How about you?"
The second man replies, "Go back to your sand country, t**..."

I took the shell off of my pet snail because I thought it would make him move faster

...if anything, it made him more sluggish

A guy takes his wife out for the night and they end up at a disco where there's a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, every dance move going...

The wife turns to her husband and says, See that guy on the dance floor? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.

The husband replies, It looks like he's still celebrating.

Dave's wife tied him to the bed posts last night.

Dave's wife tied him to the bed posts last night. Unable to move, he could do nothing to stop her slowly stripping down to her bra and pants in front of him.
She knelt on the bed, between his thighs and said
"Ok big boy, what would you like me to take off next?"
Dave gulped: "My glasses, please."

Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.

One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

My ex-girlfriend's father, a 6'4" retired marine, angrily banged on my door last week.

I opened it and he said, "My daughter came back home crying and penniless because of you!"
"Sir?" I asked.
"When you told me she was old enough to move out of our house, I was skeptical..."
"Yes, sir"
"But you talked to me man to man, looked me in the eye and told me you would take care of her!"
"Yes, sir"
"And you promised me that if she moved in with you and took care of the house she could quit her job and you would cover her weekly income!"
"Yes sir, but I believe this is simple misunderstanding. When I said that, it was two words, not one."

a Jewish man living in Moscow applies to move to Israel.

At 3:00 AM there's b**... on his door. It's the KGB.
You! Jew! You applied to move to Israel?
He nods.
Here in Russia, you have food to eat?
Yeah, I can't complain.
And here in Russia, you have place to live?
Yeah, yeah, I can't complain.
And here in Russia, you have job to work at?
Yeah, I can't complain.
So, Jew, why you apply to move to Israel?
Because *There* I can complain!

Two pieces of Road walk into a bar

They order two large beers and talk loudly, they are the toughest pieces of road in the building.
15 minutes later, a small piece of pavement walks through and asks for a small orange juice. When the roads see him, they move into the corner and stay quiet.
The bartender notices this and goes over to them and says I thought you two were the toughest they come, why are you scared of that small, quiet guy? They respond with:
You should be careful with him, He's a Cycle Path

A man died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie"
"Incredible," said the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Trump's clock?"
"His Clock is in Jesus office. He's using it as a ceiling fan

A Jew living in the Soviet Union applies for an exit visa so he could emigrate to Israel.

As a result, he is summoned to the KGB headquarters.
I see that you applied to move to Israel? asks the KGB officer. The Jewish man nods.
Here in the USSR, don't you have food to eat?
Yeah, I can't complain.
And here in the USSR, don't you have place to live?
Yeah, yeah, I can't complain.
And here in the USSR, don't you have job to work at?
Yeah, I can't complain.
So, Jew, why did you apply to move to Israel?
Because There I can complain!

When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I'm homeless.

My wife is madder at me than she has ever been.

She tripped and fell while carrying clothes she just ironed.
I didn't move.
"What are you doing?!" She yelled at me.
"Watching it all unfold," I said.

My 90 year old neighbor has Alzheimer's

And every morning when i wake up he's in a panic knocking at my door asking if I'd seen his wife, and every day i am forced to remind him that she has been dead for over 10 years...
Honestly i could just move, the house isn't too great, and I've had many opportunities to live in better places..
But the look of pure joy on his face every time i tell him she's dead just makes my day and keeps me from leaving.

After failing maths, Jared's parents decide to move him from the local public school to a nearby Catholic school

Within a few months, he is passing with flying colours. His parents ask him the reason behind his sudden improvement. "Was it the strict nuns, the rigour of class, the example of other students? Jared shook his head. "Well what was it then"? Jared replied "Truth is, when I first arrived and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business".

Metamucil changes its name to Facebookmucil

CEO admits the move was difficult, since both firms deliver c**....

How to increase your strength

An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
—Beverly g**...

A man dies and arrives at Heaven

As he's standing at the Pearly Gates, he notices a huge wall of clocks behind St Peter.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St Peter replied, "Those are lie clocks, every time someone tells a lie, the hands on their clock move."
"Oh! Whose clock is that?" He says pointing.
"That's Mother Theresa's clock, it's hands have never moved."
"Wow! And whose clock is that?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock, it's hands have only moved twice."
The man asks, "Where is Boris Johnson's clock?"
St Peter replies, "We're using it as a ceiling fan"

A bedridden hospital patient takes a turn for the worse and a doctor comes to check on them.

The doctor does a quick examination, then releases the brakes on the bed's wheels and rolls them out of the room. "Alright, it's time to move you down to the East Wing."
"What's the East Wing?" asks the patient.
"The morgue." replies the doctor.
"W-wait, the morgue?! But I'm not dead yet!"
"It's a long hallway."

What did one twin say to the other twin?

Move over and give me some w**...!

A man went to his doctor

After several tests, the doctor returned to the exam room and told him "I'm terribly sorry sir but according to our tests you have barely a year left to live."
"That's horrible!" said the man. "Is there nothing I can do?!"
The doctor replied "Well, my advice is to become a vegan, marry an economist and move to Iowa."
"Will that cure me?" asked the man
"No," said the doctor "but it'll make that year feel a LOT longer!"

Pull

A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

Since I moved to Jefferson city

I'm in state of Missouri ):

My wife always said,

If anything ever happens to her, I need to move on, find someone new and just forget about her when I'm ready.
Turns out 'anything' didn't include getting stuck in traffic on her way home from work...

Back when I was 8 years old, my family decided to move.

Don't worry, I found where they moved to.

Move joke, Back when I was 8 years old, my family decided to move.

jokes about move