Move Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Move jokes. Read move push jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these move burglar puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Share Hilarious Move Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons.

I think I have telekinieces.

If I ever move to Prague, I'll open a burrito shop.

And call it Bohemian Wrap City.

My girlfriend told me to move out as i am no help around the house.

So as i walked out i tightened the lids on all the jars in the kitchen.

If a man and a woman get married in Tennessee then move to Texas and get divorced…

Are they still brother and sister?

jokes about move

When life starts

A Priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi are having a discussion. They are trying to determine the exact point when life starts. The Muslim argues that life starts at conception. The Priest disagrees and says that life starts at birth. The Rabbi turns to the two men and says, you are both wrong. When the dog dies and the kids move out, that is when life begins.

I saw a cop pull over a U Haul today...

Looks like he was trying to bust a move.

How did Isis move from 5th wanted t**... group to the most wanted t**... group?

They cut a head

Move joke, How did Isis move from 5th wanted t**... group to the most wanted t**... group?

I never believed that faith could move mountains

But I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room

The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

So Donald Trump wants to be president and move into the white house. Why not?

It wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home.

Β 

Β 

*credits to Snoop Dogg @ Donald Trump roast*

A man walks up to a woman in a bar.

He puts a lime next to her. The woman asks "what this"? The man says "its a lime". The woman says "can you move that lime somewhere else"? The man says "sure".The man tries to move the lime several times but cant seem to lift it. The woman says "is something wrong"? The man says "Sorry, I am bad at pick up limes".

You can explore move motion reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean move move on dad jokes. There are also move puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election?

Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

I'm not convinced faith can move mountains, but I know what it can do to skyscrapers.

(Come on, it's been 15 years.)

I've been dating a homeless woman recently and I think it's getting serious...

She's asked me to move out with her...

On a first date:

Her - So what do you do?

Me - I am currently working on eliminating all cancers.

Her - Wow, that's impressive!

Me - Then I'll move onto Capricons.

A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says

You can't do that. Bishops can only move diagonally.

Move joke, A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says

If Trump is elected president...

He will be the first billionaire to move into government housing after a black man.

I'm not sure faith can move mountains...

But we all know what it can do to skyscrapers.

Why doesn't Melania Trump want her husband to become President?

She doesn't want to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

My pet snake just lays around and won't move

I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction

Humans are being tested against the new AI program

The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because

ROBOTS CANT RECAPTCHA

I saw this really fit girl in the nightclub last night and she was wearing a chessboard patterned shirt...

So, I made a move on her.

Boy: Grandpa! Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog!

Grandpa: Why would I do that?
Boy: I heard mum telling dad, "We'll move to a bigger house once your father croaks."

Today I decided to take the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him move faster...

If anything he seems more sluggish!

My friend is visiting Germany this week. I suggested he might want to make it a permanent move.

There's fewer n**... over there.

I was recently asked if I believed faith could move mountains.

Apparently "No, but I've seen what it can do to buildings," is the wrong answer.

Move joke, I was recently asked if I believed faith could move mountains.

A chess joke: What's the difference between a rook and a bishop?

Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops have s**... with kids.

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

A Store Manager asked me to move a Kia that was blocking an exit...

I told him, "I would, but that's not my Forte."

Faith vs Science

I'm not convinced that faith can move mountains, but I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers.

Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

So the other one could drive!

Today in church they asked what a Bishop does

Apparently move diagonally wasn't the answer they were looking for.

I get that the #me too movement is supposed to be empowering...

But they could've picked a better slogan than PoundMeToo

Elon Musk: Did you move my car?

Team: Yeah.

Elon: Into the parking space, like I asked?

Team: Parking!?

'I just feel like being black is a huge disadvantage no matter how much skill you have ' said my friend

'oh come on, it's just one move at the start of the game' I responded as I took his Knight.

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

Two families make a bet on who can be more american

Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet to see, in a years time, which family has become more Americanized.

A Year later they meet again. The first man says,"My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonalds and im on my way to pick up a case of Bud Light.

How about you?"

The second man replies, "Go back to your sand country, t**..."

I took the shell off of my pet snail because I thought it would make him move faster

...if anything, it made him more sluggish

I told my wife we had a pest problem.

But, apparently we have to wait until it's 18 years old to move out.

Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.

One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd move U

Cause you're blocking the TV

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

My ex-girlfriend's father, a 6'4" retired marine, angrily banged on my door last week.

I opened it and he said, "My daughter came back home crying and penniless because of you!"

"Sir?" I asked.

"When you told me she was old enough to move out of our house, I was skeptical..."

"Yes, sir"

"But you talked to me man to man, looked me in the eye and told me you would take care of her!"

"Yes, sir"

"And you promised me that if she moved in with you and took care of the house she could quit her job and you would cover her weekly income!"

"Yes sir, but I believe this is simple misunderstanding. When I said that, it was two words, not one."

I've been dating this homeless chick for a while now and it's starting to get serious.

She asked me to move out with her.

Two pieces of Road walk into a bar

They order two large beers and talk loudly, they are the toughest pieces of road in the building.

15 minutes later, a small piece of pavement walks through and asks for a small orange juice. When the roads see him, they move into the corner and stay quiet.

The bartender notices this and goes over to them and says I thought you two were the toughest they come, why are you scared of that small, quiet guy? They respond with:

You should be careful with him, He's a Cycle Path

A man died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"

That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie"

"Incredible," said the man.

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where is Trump's clock?"

"His Clock is in Jesus office. He's using it as a ceiling fan

A Jew living in the Soviet Union applies for an exit visa so he could emigrate to Israel.

As a result, he is summoned to the KGB headquarters.

I see that you applied to move to Israel? asks the KGB officer. The Jewish man nods.

Here in the USSR, don't you have food to eat?

Yeah, I can't complain.

And here in the USSR, don't you have place to live?

Yeah, yeah, I can't complain.

And here in the USSR, don't you have job to work at?

Yeah, I can't complain.

So, Jew, why did you apply to move to Israel?

Because There I can complain!

When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I'm homeless.

My wife is madder at me than she has ever been.

She tripped and fell while carrying clothes she just ironed.
I didn't move.

"What are you doing?!" She yelled at me.

"Watching it all unfold," I said.

Why did the non-binary prospector move West in 1849?

Because there was gold up in them/their hills.

After failing maths, Jared's parents decide to move him from the local public school to a nearby Catholic school

Within a few months, he is passing with flying colours. His parents ask him the reason behind his sudden improvement. "Was it the strict nuns, the rigour of class, the example of other students? Jared shook his head. "Well what was it then"? Jared replied "Truth is, when I first arrived and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business".

Metamucil changes its name to Facebookmucil

CEO admits the move was difficult, since both firms deliver c**....

A man dies and arrives at Heaven

As he's standing at the Pearly Gates, he notices a huge wall of clocks behind St Peter.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St Peter replied, "Those are lie clocks, every time someone tells a lie, the hands on their clock move."

"Oh! Whose clock is that?" He says pointing.

"That's Mother Theresa's clock, it's hands have never moved."

"Wow! And whose clock is that?"

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock, it's hands have only moved twice."

The man asks, "Where is Boris Johnson's clock?"

St Peter replies, "We're using it as a ceiling fan"

When I moved into my igloo, my friends threw me a house warming party

Now I'm homeless

A kid came out as bisexual to his dad and the dad said they have to move

"This apartment has a strict no-animal policy.", he says. "Wait until they find out I have a bison."

A bedridden hospital patient takes a turn for the worse and a doctor comes to check on them.

The doctor does a quick examination, then releases the brakes on the bed's wheels and rolls them out of the room. "Alright, it's time to move you down to the East Wing."

"What's the East Wing?" asks the patient.

"The morgue." replies the doctor.

"W-wait, the morgue?! But I'm not dead yet!"

"It's a long hallway."

King Charles will not make as many foreign visits as Queen Elizabeth did.

Because the Queen could go any distance but the King can only move one space at a time.

Pull

A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.

"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.

"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.

Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

I yelled at my girlfriend, "If you continue stealing my cooking utensils, I'll move out!" She just laughed and said...

"That's a whisk I'm willing to take!"

Since I moved to Jefferson city

I'm in state of Missouri ):

My wife always said,

If anything ever happens to her, I need to move on, find someone new and just forget about her when I'm ready.

Turns out 'anything' didn't include getting stuck in traffic on her way home from work...

Back when I was 8 years old, my family decided to move.

Don't worry, I found where they moved to.

What's the difference between a surgeon and a comedian?

A comedian has a successful day if his jokes kill, and he leaves everyone in stitches.

A surgeon can afford to move out of his parents' house.

(OC)

Little girl goes up to her father and says "Daddy talk like a frog"

Dad says "get out of here, talk like a frog." The next day again the little girl says "daddy talk like a frog."
Dad says "I told you yesterday beat it with the frog stuff."
Again on the next day she says to her dad "Daddy please can you talk like a frog?"
Her dad looks at her and says "okay what's going on, what's the big deal with this frog business, why do you want me to talk like a frog?
The little girl looks at him and says "because mommy said when you croak we get to move to Hawaii"

During a church's 100th anniversary celebration, the local priest invited former priests and the bishop to attend.

At one point, he called the children to gather at the altar and spoke to them about the significance of the day.

He began by asking them, 'Does anyone know what the bishop does?'

There was silence. Finally a little boy responded in a serious tone, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

My neighbor, who makes tennis equipment, makes me want to move out.

He is ALWAYS making racket.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the move telekinesis puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working move haul piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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