Mouthful Jokes
33 mouthful jokes and hilarious mouthful puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mouthful that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mouthful Short Jokes
Short mouthful jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mouthful humour may include short handful jokes also.
- I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today... Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
- Cigarettes are like hamsters Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.
- Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for hillary clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
- When I was little, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it I didn't really; he was just putting words in my mouth.
- I always wondered why gun barrels tasted salty Until I realized I'm always crying when I put one in my mouth
- The population of the countryside were almost wiped out entirely by a rare breed of ticks that live and breed inside the mouths of Alpacas. The survivors now live in a post Alpaca lip tick wasteland.
- Why do hipsters always burn their mouths eating pizza? They got into it before it was cool.
- Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool
- I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help. She took the words right out of my mouth.
- TIL: Due to the placebo effect, if you tilt your head back, close your eyes, and pretend as if you're shaking a salt-shaker into your mouth, your brain will cause you to actually taste salt
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Mouthful One Liners
Which mouthful one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mouthful? I can suggest the ones about full and big mouth.
- What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month.
- Why does Oedipus hate profanity? He kisses his mother with that mouth.
- What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? About one U.S Leader.
- What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.
- Hey baby, call me Colgate Because 9 out of 10 dentists recommend me in your mouth.
- Why is Oedipus against swearing? He kisses his mother with that mouth!
- I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup... ...took the words right out of my mouth.
- I have 6 eyes, 3 ears, 2 mouths, but one tooth. What am I? Ugly.
- Life is like a box of chocolates... Sometimes you just end up with nuts in your mouth.
- My girlfriend asked me to stop singing Smash Mouth songs. I said Hey Now...
- I have started watching what I eat. The food makes it into my mouth more often now
- What comes after 69? A mouth wash
- What did one fish say to the other? Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
- What moved less than Jenny McCarthy's forehead tonight? Mariah Carey's mouth.
- What's the hardest number to say? ... 70 because after 69 your mouth's full.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Mouthful Jokes
What funny jokes about mouthful you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean teaspoon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mouthful pranks.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...
The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know any jokes?
**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"
**Me:** "No."
**Her:** "I'll teach you one."
"Knock! Knock!"
**Me:** "Who's there?"
**Her:** "Ash."
"Now ask, Ash: who?"
**Me:** "Ash: who?"
**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."
**Me: rekt**
I was in a long McDonald's drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.
Take the high road, I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own.
The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.
When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
Now she has to go back to the end of the line to start all over.
Don't honk your horn at old people.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man and a woman are chatting in an elevator.
"What are you up to today?" he asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20 a pint."
"Hmm ...," the man, says. "I'm going up to donate s**..., and the s**... bank pays $100 a tablespoon."
The woman gets a strange look on her face and gets off the elevator.
The next day, they meet in the elevator again.
The man asks, "So, where you off to today?"
"Fmerm mank," she says, with her mouth full.
My daughter just asked me to call her iPad….
My 7 year old daughter was getting ready for bed and was looking for her iPad. Dad, can you call my iPad? She asked me. I was ready for this moment. Without hesitation I replied what do you want me to call it? She looked at me blankly. No…call my iPad she protested. I cupped my hand to my mouth and bellowed Emily's iPad over and over. She finally caught on and we shared a laugh. I called her iPad on my phone, it rang in the other room.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to see a s**... therapist
"My problem is that my neighbor says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three"
"Please open your mouth," the therapist says.
The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully.
"I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbor."
Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?
Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all
*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*
Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My 3 year old daughter asked
My 3 year old daughter asked: Where does p**... come from?
I decided it was best to explain it at a level she would understand so I said: You just had breakfast?
Yes , she replied.
Well, the food goes in your mouth down into your tummy. Our body takes all the good stuff it needs out of the food and then what's left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet that comes out as p**....
She looked confused and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds. Then asked: And Tigger?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which bible verse does a priest say often to the altar boy?
**Psalm 81:10.**
**....** open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
2 bats were sitting on a bench in the middle of the night and one turns to the other and says - I'm really thirsty for some blood
So he goes off into the darkness.
After a while he comes back with its mouth full of blood and the second bat says "wow where did you get so much blood in the middle of the night?!"
Then the first bat says "do you see that lantern pole there?"
"Yes" responds the second bat
"Well I didn't" says the first bat.
I hadn't seen it posted here yet so I gave it a try.
A Mother, her daughter, and a bowl of olives...
The mother takes an olive, puts it in her mouth, goes, "mmmmm...", the daughter tries one for the first time, goes "ewww...", mother eats another, again, goes "mmmm...", her daughter tries yet another, then begins to cry. Her mother asks, "why are you crying", her daughter says "you're getting all the good ones"
