Mount Jokes
152 mount jokes and hilarious mount puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mount that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will explore the funniest mount jokes about famous mountain peaks like Mount Rushmore, Mount Everest, Mount Kilimanjaro, Mount Vesuvius, Mount Fuji, Mount Snowdon, and Mount St. Helens. Learn why Elijah decided not to climb Everest and more amazing mount jokes, sure to make you laugh!
Quick Jump To
- Short Mount Jokes
- Mount One Liners
- Mount Everest Jokes
- Mount Rushmore Jokes
- Peak Mount Jokes
- Mount Disappointment Jokes
- More Mount Jokes
Funniest Mount Short Jokes
Short mount jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mount humour may include short mast jokes also.
- Bumblebees can fly higher than mount Everest Kinda obvious. Considering mount Everest can't fly
- What is the name of a rock group that has four members yet none of them sing? Mount Rushmore
- Trump reportedly asked to be added to Mount Rushmore Turns out granite isn't a dense enough material to represent him
- I think my friend is lying when he claimed he reached the top of Mount Everest last year. I'm not sure if…he made it up.
- Have a ever seen a picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved? It's beauty was unpresidented
- In the old West, a lantern was often mounted on a horse for night time travel.... It was thought to be the first generation of 'Saddle-Light-Navigation'.
- I used a time machine to travel back in time to Mount Rushmore before it was carved. Its natural beauty was unpresidented.
- I feel bad for the people that have climbed Mount Everest. Their lives have been downhill ever since.
- What do you call a rock group of 4 men who don't sing or play music? Mount Rushmore.
^^Or ^^nickelback. ^^I'm ^^so ^^sorry. - Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved It's completely unprecedented
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Mount One Liners
Which mount one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mount? I can suggest the ones about anchor and mute.
- What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore.
- Which rock group has 4 men that can't sing? Mount Rushmore
- What rock group has 4 guys who don't sing? Mount Rushmore...
- what is a 4 person rock group that doesn't play music mount rushmore
- Have you seen Mount Rushmore before it was carved? It was unprecedented.
- What do you call a camera mounted on a ISIS-truck? a daeshcam
- Why did Popeye beat up the pope? He heard he was going to Mount Olive
- Tell me girl, do you like soda? Because I'd mount 'n do you. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- What rock group has four men but none of them sing? Mount Rushmore
- Before Mount Rushmore was carved... it's natural beauty was unpresidented. :)
- Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music? Mount Rushmore.
- The taxidermist mounted the wrong end of my prize lion on the wall. It's a catastrophe!
- Baby, I hope you are an ISO file cuz I wanna mount you.
- What do you call a mountain of puns? Mount Cleverest
- Who's an all male rock group that doesn't sing? Mount Rushmore.
Mount Everest Jokes
Here is a list of funny mount everest jokes and even better mount everest puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I am not sure if my friend is lying about him scaling the top of Mount Everest. I think…… he made it up.
- Did I ever tell you the story about the time I climbed Mount Everest? I made it up.
- Pieces of cooked meat have been found on mount Everest recently... The steaks have never been higher.
- TIL bumblebees are able to fly higher than Mount Everest. Because Mount Everest can't fly.
- What do Mount Everest and The Sixth Sense have in common? They both have icy dead people.
- What do The Sixth Sense and Mount Everest have in common? Icy dead people!
- What did Haley Joel Osment find on Mount Everest? Icy dead people.
- What did the mountain climber name his horse? Everest. Any time he is bored I see him Mount Everest.
- I just heard the owner of Dulux paint passed away on Mount Everest Apparently he could've done with another coat
- My Pa said he would accompany me when I told him I was going to climb Mount Everest. I said Are you surePa?
Mount Rushmore Jokes
Here is a list of funny mount rushmore jokes and even better mount rushmore puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Before Mount Rushmore was carved... Its beauty was unpresidented.
- Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore!
- What rock group consists of four famous men, but none of them sing? Mount Rushmore
- What do you call a four man rock group that doesn't sing? Mount Rushmore
- Chuck Norris They wanted to add Chuck Norris' face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
- Which rock group has members that don't sing? Mount Rushmore...
- What rock group has four members that can't sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore
- Mount Rushmore was quite a sight before it was carved. It is said that it was unpresidented.
- Which rock band has 4 people but doesn't make music? Mount Rushmore
- It's really too bad they had to carve up Mount Rushmore like that It's beauty used to be unpresidented!
Peak Mount Jokes
Here is a list of funny peak mount jokes and even better peak mount puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Oh, you want to climb to the top of Mount Everest? Did it PEAK your interest?
- Why do so many die on Mount Everest? Many never reached peak performance.
- A Pokemon GO player climbed to the summit of mount Everest... ...convinced that he would could catch a rare Pokemon. All he caught was a cold. It stared with a peak achoo.
- Finally reached the top of Mount Everest in 15 days That's my Peak Performance!
Mount Disappointment Jokes
Here is a list of funny mount disappointment jokes and even better mount disappointment puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Today I saw a rock group, but none of the 4 members sang Mount Rushmore was kinda disappointing
Laughable Mount Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about mount you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mount pranks.
I would look more like a mountain..
if I were so inclined.
Why do programmers like UNIX?
unzip, s**..., touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep
A computer joke...
I hear they make gender-specific versions of ActiveX now: ActiveXX and ActiveXY. Unfortunately, ActiveXX overflows for a few days every month and ActiveXY constantly tries to mount drives it shouldn't.
A lady goes to the store to buy a hook
..to mount on a wall to hang her coat. She walks up to the counter with it but doesn't have a screw to mount it to the wall. The checkout guy says "do you want a screw for the hook? She answers ""No but I'll blow you for that toaster."
(A version of an old Andrew Dice Clay joke)
What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
"Hi, Cliff "
I'm seeing a lot of blonde jokes, so here's mine.
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were talking about their boyfriends and decided they wanted to give them nicknames.
The brunette says, "I'll name mine 7-Up because he is 7 inches and always up for me."
The redhead says, "I'll name mine Mountain Dew because he always wants to mount and dew me."
The blonde thinks for a moment and says, "I'll name my boyfriend Jack Daniels. He's a hard liquor."
Why were the mountain climber's parents disappointed in him?
He was always high! ^(I'm sorry)
What is a mountain climber's favorite drink?
Anything on the rocks.
Taxidermist walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"
"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"
"I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
(AP) New York - A baby delivered without eyelids had surgery today at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan, NY. Doctors successfully removed the child's f**... and were able to use the tissue to successfully form eyelids. Doctors said the child will be fine.
Just a little cockeyed.
Why are mountains so funny?
Because they are hill areas.
I'll show myself out
If you blew up Mount Rushmore, what crime would you have committed?
Four counts of defacing a national monument.
The night before the wedding
The bride-to-be and her bridesmaids were giggling over tequila and strawberry daiquiris at the bachelorette party. The maid of honor started a game of truth or dare.
"If your boyfriend were a soda, what would he be?" she slurred at the other bridesmaid.
"7-Up, because he's got seven inches and he can keep it up. What about you?"
"Mountain Dew. He knows how to mount and do me. And what about the future Mrs. Johnson? What kind of soda is Matt?"
"Jack Daniels," said the bride proudly.
"But that's not a soda! Jack Daniels is a hard liquor!" protested her friends.
The bride looked at them and said, "Girls, why do you think I'm marrying him?"
Why do mountains make people laugh?
Because they're hill-areas!
The mountain gazelle is said to have the ability to jump higher than the average house
Considering houses don't jump
(Offensive) Old enough to count...
Old enough to mount ;)
What did one mountain say to the other mountain?
Nothing. They were both s**....
I don't know what to think of mountain-climbing.
It has it's ups and downs.
I've heard of Lawyers who mount a stag's head in their study, or Doctors who mount a lion's head in their dining room...
I guess I just don't see the problem with a British Prime Minister mounting a pig's head wherever he pleases.
Why are most mountain climbers hippies?
Because scalars have no direction
(OC, as far as I know)
Obama was offered to get his face carved into Mount Rushmore
But he declined. He didn't want to get ahead of himself.
What do you call four rock-hard dudes chilling next to each other?
Mount Rushmore
Do you know the s**... position called "rodeo"?
It's when you mount your partner d**..., say "this is how your sister likes it as well" and try to stay in as long as you can.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!
How to tell whether someone is an idiot
Doctor, how can you tell whether someone is an idiot, even if he looks normal to you?
For that, we have special questions.
Can you name an example?
Mountaineer Brown climbed Mount Everest three times but he was killed during one of these ascents. Can you tell me which one?
But doctor, that surely won't work for people like me who know nothing about mountaineering.
I went fishing recently and caught a 20lb sea bass. I tried to mount it
But I was arrested for indecent exposure.
What do you call a mountain that you've never climbed.
Mount neverest
A friend of mine said he was going to Mount Isa...
...I said he should get to know her as a friend, first.
Welsh pub
One day a man walked into a pub in Wales and ordered a pint of beer.
All the other men in the bar looked at him and the bartender asked, "You're not from around here, are you lad?"
"No," replied the man, "I'm from London."
"So, boyo," said the bartender, "What do you do for a living then?"
"I'm a taxidermist." Replied the man.
"A taxidermist?" asked the barman, "What's one of them do?"
"Well," replied the man, "I mount animals."
The bartender then turned to all the other welshmen in the bar and said, "It's o.k. lads, he's one of us!"
An old mountaineer and his ex-wife...
were fighting over custody of their kids. The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them. The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose from his chair and asked, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
Rodeo s**....
Have you ever tried Rodeo s**...? here is how it goes, you get you're Girlfriend on all fours and mount her, you push in as far as you can and hold on real tight, you then whisper in her ear, you are not as good as you're Sister, see how long you can stay on..
How do mountains see?
They peak.
Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man: "Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?"
"I am not Master Akira."
What mountaintop is infamous for making climbers disappear?
\- Peak Aboo.
And which one gives them a flu?
\- Peak Achoo.
I saw a mountain lion the other day.
Almost made me puma pants.
Today my 10 year old daughter referred to the pile of dirty laundry that my wife is doing as.
Mount Wash More.
3 Mountain Men Are Sitting in a Bar Trying to decide What to Name Their Newly Settled Land
They throw all the letters of the alphabet into a hat and draw them out one at at a time.
The first draws, "'C', eh."
The second, "'N', eh."
The third, "'D', eh."
What do mountains do at dinner time?
They avalunch.
You know that you're at the highest point in your life...
...when you're smoking w**... on Mount Everest.
Why are mountains always tired?
Because they don't Everest.
A guy walks into a r**... bar.
A guy walks into a r**... bar and orders a glass of wine. Everyone sitting around the bar looks up expecting to see some flamboyant Yankee. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
"No sir," the guy says, "I'm from North Dakota."
"North Dakota?" the bartender asks. "What the h**... you do in North Dakota?"
"I'm a taxidermist," the guy replies.
"A taxidermist, what the h**... is that?" the bartender asks.
The guy says nervously, "Um, I mount dead animals."
The bartender smiles and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay fellas, he's one of us!"
You're not s**... if you haven't been to university
Einstein never went to university and he was the first man to climb mount Everest
I once went to climb Mount Everest...
... came across a local village farmer who said he had a rooster that could lay eggs.
I said, How is that possible?
He said, Himalayan Rooster
P.S I told that joke to a farm girl today and to all the other ag folk who clapped it made my day. Even if there's only two of you with enough cell service to have read it and laughed.
The mountains aren't just funny, they're...
Hill areas.
What mountain is just smaller than Mt. Everest?
Mt. Everer
The sermon on the mount
Jesus: "Verily, I tell you: x²+5x+10."
Mark: "Huh? What's the boss talking about?"
John: "Never mind, he's just mixing up parable and parabola again."
A man goes into a pet store and demands an amazing pet for a very cheap price
The shop keeper says "I have a talking fox for only £20" the man exclaims " foxes can't talk!" While he's rambling on the fox puts his paw up on the desk and says "actually I can talk... I've written 3 books and I climbed up mount Everest for the 2nd time yesterday!" The man says "wow he's amazing, why are you selling him so cheap??" To which the shopkeeper replies "I just can't take the lies anymore..."
Moses went to Mount Olive.
Popeye was furious.
A man and his friend were talking about their New Year's Resolutions.
Friend: I heard you set some really tough resolutions, have you completed them?
Man: Well of course! I've swam across the Pacific Ocean in only speedos.
Friend: Neat.
Man: Scaled Mount Everest n**...!
Friend, a bit skeptical: Really?
Man: Well, there is one I still haven't completed.
Friend: And that is?
Man: Break my habit of lying......
