Mountain Dew Jokes
53 mountain dew jokes and hilarious mountain dew puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mountain dew that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mountain Dew Short Jokes
Short mountain dew jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mountain dew humour may include short mountain jokes also.
- When I was a kid... I could walk in the store with a dollar and come out with 3 candy bars, a mountain dew, a bag of chips, and a comic book.
Couldn't do that nowadays, there's cameras everywhere. - Joke Q: So how do you get permission to climb mountain dew?
A: You got to ask Dr. pepper. - Has anyone else realized... that sierra mist and mountain dew are technically the same thing
- Are you a can of mountain dew? Cause I'd mountain dew you.
- Why does NASA only drink Mountain Dew? Because they couldn't get 7 up.
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Mountain Dew One Liners
Which mountain dew one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mountain dew? I can suggest the ones about morning dew and mountain goat.
- Not just anyone can work at the Mountain Dew factory You gotta have a can dew attitude.
- What do you call flat Mountain Dew? Plateau Dew
- What is a gay cowboy's favorite beverage? Brokeback Mountain Dew.
- Emperor Palpatine decides to endorse Mountain Dew and appears on an advertisement DEW IT
- Girl: "Can you use 'Mountain Dew' in a sentence?"
Guy: "Yes, can I 'mount-ain dew' you?" - What is a nymphomaniac's favorite soda? Mountain Dew
- What's a robot's favorite soda to drink? Mountain Dew LiveWire.
- What do you call a phaser-flavored soda? Mountain D.E.W.
[Directed-Energy Weapon](#s) - What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew? Dew diligance
- Describe your college life using the name of a beverage? Mountain Dew.
- What is a cloud's favourite drink? Mountain Dew
- What is the highest point in Israel? Mountain Dew.
- What is Emperor Palpatine's favourite drink? Mountain Dew it!
- What's a pornstars favorite soda? Mountain Dew
- What's a villains favorite flavor of Mountain Dew? Mwaha Blast!
Comical Mountain Dew Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about mountain dew you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mountain man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mountain dew pranks.
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Three blondes had boyfriends all named John and they kept getting confused.
They decided to name them after sodas. The first girl said, "I'll call mine 7 Up, because he's seven inches and he's always up." The next girl said, "I'll call mine Mountain Dew, because he mounts me and knows exactly what to do." The last girl goes, "I'll call mine Jack Daniels." The other girls yelled at her and said, "That's not a soda! That's a hard l**...!"
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Yo mama so s**... she tried to climb mountain dew.
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what was h**...'s favourite drink?
mountain dew
I took the family to an amusement park and they all got thirsty at once.
Fortunately we were close to a big soda shop, a circular building with lines of varying lengths standing at most of the windows.
"Excuse me," I asked a park employee, "Which window do we go to?"
"Each window is for a different drink, so just go straight to the one for what you want. If you're in a hurry, though, you might pick something less popular, that no one's waiting for."
Over the crowd I could see the drink signs above each window: Coke, Sprite, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer, Hawaiian Punch, Mountain Dew, Guinness... "How long is the Guinness line?" I asked.
He laughed, "That one wraps around the back of the building and trails off into the parking lot outside. I think they're going for a world record or something."
I didn't have time for this guy's jokes, so I asked, "Is there a punch line?"
"Nope."
Three ladies all have separate boyfriends named Leroy...
One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar, one of the ladies suggests, "Let's name our Leroys after a soda pop, because I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed up with your Leroy, and her Leroy mixed up with your Leroy."
The other two ladies agree.
The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name my Leroy 7-Up because he has 7 inches and it's always up!"
The three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other high fives.
Then, the second lady says, "I'm gonna name my Leroy Mountain Dew because he can mount and do me any day of the week."
Again, the three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other more high fives.
The third lady then says, "You know, those two Leroys were good, but I'm gonna name my Leroy, Jack Daniels."
The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels? That's not a soda pop... that's a hard liquor!"
The third lady bursts out, "That's my Leroy!"
I'm seeing a lot of blonde jokes, so here's mine.
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were talking about their boyfriends and decided they wanted to give them nicknames.
The brunette says, "I'll name mine 7-Up because he is 7 inches and always up for me."
The redhead says, "I'll name mine Mountain Dew because he always wants to mount and dew me."
The blonde thinks for a moment and says, "I'll name my boyfriend Jack Daniels. He's a hard liquor."
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Three women sitting in a bar having a drink.
Three women sitting in a bar having a drink. Their boyfriends are all named Georgie. One day they decide to name their boyfriends after softdrinks to tell the difference between them.
The first one says "I'll name mine 7-up because he's seven inches and always up."
The second one says "I'll name mine MOUNTAIN DEW because he likes to mount and do me."
And the third one says "I'll name mine Jack Daniels." The others say "Hey! That's not a softdrink that's a hard l**...!". She says "That's My Georgie!!"
The Story of Jed
There was once a man named Jed, who had grown tired of the may-may culture. But he was at work in the engineering yard, and couldn't just turn off his computer or hide it. This was not the first time he had grown angry with it, and the last time he had destroyed his computer in a rage, so it was now replaced with a reinforced chassis for when he got angry. So he just drank a Mountain Dew for energy, took off his belt and began whipping his reinforced computer. His boss heard the noise and came to stop him. His boss told him "Even Jed fueled can't belt steel memes."
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Three old ladies are discussing their husbands while having tea.
Three old ladies are out for tea and discussing their husbands performance in the sack.
They decide to have some fun and describe their husbands as soda pops.
The first lady says "my husband is probably Mountain Dew. Because when im ready to mount. Hes ready to do"
The second lady says, still giggling, "My hudband is 7 up, cause when its seven hes always up"
The third lady says "My husband is defenitely Jack Daniels"
The other two ladies reply "But thats not a soda! Thats a hard liquor!"
The third lady shouts "Thats my Leroy!"
The night before the wedding
The bride-to-be and her bridesmaids were giggling over tequila and strawberry daiquiris at the bachelorette party. The maid of honor started a game of truth or dare.
"If your boyfriend were a soda, what would he be?" she slurred at the other bridesmaid.
"7-Up, because he's got seven inches and he can keep it up. What about you?"
"Mountain Dew. He knows how to mount and do me. And what about the future Mrs. Johnson? What kind of soda is Matt?"
"Jack Daniels," said the bride proudly.
"But that's not a soda! Jack Daniels is a hard liquor!" protested her friends.
The bride looked at them and said, "Girls, why do you think I'm marrying him?"
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Three women decide to compare their husbands to soft drinks.
Three women are out to brunch, and they're talking about who has the best husband. One of them decides they should compare their respective husbands to soft drinks (sodas).
First woman: "My husband is like 7UP, because he's 7 inches and he's always up."
Second woman: "Well my husband is like Mountain Dew, because when he's mountin' me, he knows what to do."
Third woman: "Well my husband is like Jack Daniels."
First woman: "That's not a soft drink!"
Third woman: "I know, but he's a hard l**...."
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Why did the rock climber start l**... the grass on the peak?
He wanted some Mountain Dew.
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My Last 3 Boyfriends gossip
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they've had in the last year.
One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I've had, I've named after soda pops. The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up.
The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do.
The third I called Jack Daniels. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. Isn't Jack Daniels hard liquor?"
The girl smiles and says "Yes it is"
Me: Do you want something to drink?
Me: We've got this new soda called 'Princess Di.' It's a tribute to Princess Diana
Friend: Got anything else?
Me: Just Mountain Dew.
Friend: So those are my only two options?
Me: It's Dew or Di.
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What happened to the man who had s**... with the mountain dew?
he got lemon lime disease
If my man were a soda...
Three married black women are talking about their love lives with their husbands. They decide to assign each of their men a soda that represents them. The first lady says, "I'd call my man seven-up. 'Cause he's got seven inches and they're always up, up, up."
The second says, "I'd call my man Mountain Dew. 'Cause he likes to go to the mountains and do, do, do."
The third says, "I'd call my man Jack Daniels."
The other two reply, "Jack Daniels? That's not a soda. That's a hard liquor."
"THAT'S MY MAN!!!"
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That's my Charlie!
Three women are sitting around talking about their husbands s**... life when one posed the question, "If you could name your husbands junk after any soft drink what would it be?"
The first lady says, "Well I'd name my husbands Mountain Dew, because it's as big as a mountain and all he wants to do!"
The second lady quips, "I'd name my husbands 7-Up, because it's 7 inches and it's always up!"
The third lady responds, "Well I'd name my husbands Jack Daniel's!"
The other ladies laughed and said, "That's not a soft drink! It's a hard liquor".
The third ladies replies, "That's my Charlie!"
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So the bartender offered me a Mountain Dew and then pointed gun at me saying drink or I'll pull the trigger
It was a Dew or Die situation
