Motorist Jokes
15 motorist jokes and hilarious motorist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about motorist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Motorist Short Jokes
Short motorist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The motorist humour may include short trucker jokes also.
- Breaking news just in. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway, Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals
- A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
- News just in, a lorry carrying onions has sheded its load all over the M1 motorway. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on
- What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket. Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
- I get self conscious about driving my lowered car at times. I feel like other motorists are always looking down on me.
- Cement Mixer A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass.
Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. - A motorist was pulled over by a traffic cop. "Excuse me, sir," said the cop. "Do you realize your wife fell out of the car two miles back?"
"Thank God," he said. "I thought I'd gone deaf!" - How many white Police Officers does it take to beat up one black motorist? None. He fell down some stairs.
- Today an irate motorist at a stop light yelled at me saying, "YOU GOTTA GET BACK!" To which I screamed back at the top of my lungs, "BACK TO THE PAST, SAMURAI JACK!" and sped off onto the highway.
- A police officer said to a motorist, "What were you doing? Your car was zigzagging like crazy!" "I'm learning to drive." "Without an instructor in the car?"
"Oh, yes. It's an online course."
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Motorist One Liners
Which motorist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with motorist? I can suggest the ones about woman driver and drunk driver.
- What is the name of a motorist fan in the Netherlands? Bus van Truck
- What did a passing motorist say to the elderly SS Officer? Give it some gas grandpa!
- What did the turkey say to the motorist? Buckle Buckle
Cheeky Motorist Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about motorist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean passenger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make motorist pranks.
Pull
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
A traffic cop in a small town stopped a motorist for speeding.
"but Officer," said the driver, "I can explain-"
Save your excuses," said the cop. "You can cool your heels in jail till the chief gets back."
"But Officer..."
"Quiet!" snapped the cop. "You're going to jail the chief will deal with you when he gets back."
A few hours later the officer looks in at the prisoner. "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. It means he'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," said the prisoner. "I'm the groom."
A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist...
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
Pulling Together
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
A blonde motorist is pulled over by a blonde policewoman for speeding.
The female cop asks for the blonde's drivers licence. The blonde motorist asks 'Sorry officer, what does it look like?'
The policewoman replies 'It's a small rectangular thing with your picture on it'.
The blond gives the policewoman her make-up mirror.
The blonde cop responds with 'I think we can forget the speeding fine. I didn't realize you're a policewoman too.'
A state trooper is sitting at the end of a tunnel and pulls over a motorist for speeding.
License and registration the officer says.
No problem replies the motorist.
What are you doing out so late sir? the officer asks.
Just had a late night at work he replies.
Really? What do you do for work? the officer says.
Well...I'm an a**... stretcher he says.
An a**... stretcher?
Yeah, I take a**... and stretch them as far as you want, up to 6 feet
What would anyone do with a six foot a**...?! The office exclaims.
Well, the state gives them a car and puts one at the end of a tunnel!
What am I supposed to do with this? "What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.
"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."
