The Best 15 Motorist Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Motorist jokes. There are some motorist automobile jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these motorist lug puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Motorist Jokes and Puns

A traffic cop in a small town stopped a motorist for speeding.

"but Officer," said the driver, "I can explain-"
Save your excuses," said the cop. "You can cool your heels in jail till the chief gets back."
"But Officer..."
"Quiet!" snapped the cop. "You're going to jail the chief will deal with you when he gets back."
A few hours later the officer looks in at the prisoner. "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. It means he'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," said the prisoner. "I'm the groom."

A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist...

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

Pulling Together

A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.

"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.

"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.

Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

Motorist joke, Pulling Together

A blonde motorist is pulled over by a blonde policewoman for speeding.

The female cop asks for the blonde's drivers licence. The blonde motorist asks 'Sorry officer, what does it look like?'
The policewoman replies 'It's a small rectangular thing with your picture on it'.
The blond gives the policewoman her make-up mirror.
The blonde cop responds with 'I think we can forget the speeding fine. I didn't realize you're a policewoman too.'

What am I supposed to do with this? "What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.

"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."


A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.

"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."

A state trooper is sitting at the end of a tunnel and pulls over a motorist for speeding.

License and registration the officer says.

No problem replies the motorist.

What are you doing out so late sir? the officer asks.

Just had a late night at work he replies.

Really? What do you do for work? the officer says.

Well...I'm an asshole stretcher he says.

An asshole stretcher?

Yeah, I take assholes and stretch them as far as you want, up to 6 feet

What would anyone do with a six foot asshole?! The office exclaims.

Well, the state gives them a car and puts one at the end of a tunnel!

Motorist joke, A state trooper is sitting at the end of a tunnel and pulls over a motorist for speeding.

What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.

Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."

A motorist was pulled over by a traffic cop.

"Excuse me, sir," said the cop. "Do you realize your wife fell out of the car two miles back?"

"Thank God," he said. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

How many white Police Officers does it take to beat up one black motorist?

None. He fell down some stairs.

What is the name of a motorist fan in the Netherlands?

Bus van Truck

You can explore motorist driver reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean motorist cabbie dad jokes. There are also motorist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Today an irate motorist at a stop light yelled at me saying, "YOU GOTTA GET BACK!"

To which I screamed back at the top of my lungs, "BACK TO THE PAST, SAMURAI JACK!" and sped off onto the highway.

A police officer said to a motorist, "What were you doing? Your car was zigzagging like crazy!" "I'm learning to drive."

"Without an instructor in the car?"

"Oh, yes. It's an online course."

What did a passing motorist say to the elderly SS Officer?

Give it some gas grandpa!

What did the turkey say to the motorist?

Buckle Buckle

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the motorist truck jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working motorist vehicle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes