Motorcycle Jokes

This is a page about motorcycle jokes. If you are looking for a laugh, then this is the place for you. These jokes are about motorcycles, riders, and anything else that has to do with motorcycles.

Charming Humor Motorcycle Jokes with Loads of Fun

Why was the motorcycle going so slow?

Because it was two tired!

Friends are like motorcycles...

'Cause I wish I had a motorcycle

what's the difference between your first motorcycle and you first girlfriend?

Nothing, it doesn't matter what either of them look like, you're just happy to have something to ride.

Sean Connery: A Man Who Conquers All

*obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice*

What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?

When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.

jokes about motorcycle

A bear is chasing a mouse through the woods..

When suddenly a genie appears. The mouse and bear stop dead in their tracks, perplexed at the genie's appearance. The genie offers to give both the bear and mouse three wishes. The bear, not hesitating, goes first; "I wish all the bears in these woods were female." The genie laughs and moves onto the mouse. "I wish for a motorcycle." The genie nods and moves back to the bear. "I wish all the bears in the world were female." The genie laughs again. The mouse asks for a motorcycle helmet. The genie gives it to the mouse and looks at the bear one last time. "I wish all the female bears wanted me." The genie goes, "My man!" and looks to the mouse for his final wish. The mouse gets on his motorcycle, starts it up, puts his helmet on and says, "I wish the bear was gay." and the mouse zooms off.

Old man driving alone

An old man is driving along the road humming to himself.
Suddenly he hears a police siren and a motorcycle cop pulls him over.
He can't imagine what could be wrong.
"Sir, do you realize that you left your wife behind in the gas station?"
"I did? I am so relieved."
"You're relieved you drove off without your wife?"
The gent nods.
"But didn't you sense something was wrong?"
"Yes, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Australians

An australian tourist flies to america. He is unpacking his bags in a hotel, rents a motorcycle and start driving. He goes 70MPH in a 40MPH speed limit roas, whan a cup is telling him to pull over. The police officer yells at him: "What is wrong with you, man?!?! Did you came here to die?!"
"No," the tourist said, "I came here yesterday"

Motorcycle joke, Australians

When that guy has s**... with his wife on a motorcycle he's "cool."

When I do it I'm "absconding with the cadaver."

Why can't the motorcycle get up on its own?

It's two tired.

A guy calls 911 and says: "I hit a pig on the side of the highway, what do I do?"

The operator replies: "If it's still alive, put it out of its misery."

The operator hears a gunshot and then the man comes back on the phone.

"Done, now what do I do with his motorcycle?"

When I graduated high school I wanted to buy a motorcycle..

When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had an uncle who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. - Anthony Jeselnik

You can explore motorcycle harley reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean motorcycle suzuki dad jokes. There are also motorcycle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Biker mimes

If a group of mimes forms a motorcycle gang....

Do they have to drive electric bikes?

Why can't motorcycles go faster?

They're two tired.

In the motorcycle safety course they tell you that target fixation is bad, where your eyes are looking is where you usually end up.

Must be why I keep running over female joggers.

Why couldn't the motorcycle make it home?

Because it was two tired.

How does the motorcycle of a Ku Klux k**... member sounds like?

Runnnnnnnnnnnnigganigganigganigaanigga

Motorcycle joke, How does the motorcycle of a Ku Klux k**... member sounds like?

What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs?

The bikings.

Did you hear about the mute motorcycle gang?

They don't answer to nobody.

I would love to buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle...

But I can't afford all the shirts.

Two w**... were riding a motorcycle....

... When suddenly your mom fell off

A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car.

'What's up?' says the driver.

'Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,' says the policeman.

'Thank goodness for that,' says the driver. 'I thought I'd gone deaf.'

Warnings about motorcycles

Every time people find out I drive a motorcycle they always freak out and tell me about sometime someone they know got in an accident.

I don't get it.

I don't go around telling pregnant women that my dad left

Stormtrooper helmets

I would wear a stormtrooper helmet everytime I went for a ride on a motorcycle to avoid HITTING anything.

Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle.

They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, What do you think you are doing?

What if you have an accident?

The priests say, Don't worry, my son. God is with us.

The policeman says, In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to ride on a motorcycle.

Three guys are on a motorcycle. The guy in the middle is a stutterer.

All of a sudden the stutterer says: "F-f-f-f-f-"

Driver: Faster?

Stutterer: F-f-f-f-f-f-f

Driver: "You want me to go faster?"

Stutterer: "F-f-f-f-f-f"

Driver: I can't go any faster.

Stutterer: F-f-f-f Frank f-f-f-f-fell off.

A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They were appalled by his leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," the mother said, "he doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," the daughter replied. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 200 hours of community service?"

Motorcycle joke, A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

Why did the motorcycle stay at home?

It was two-tired

What kind of motorcycle has the best sense of humor?

Yamahahaha

A genie grants a Bear and a Squirrel each 3 wishes.

Wish 1: The Bear wishes that every bear in the world would become female.

Wish 1: The Squirrel wishes for a motorcycle he can ride.

Wish 2: The Bear wishes that every female bear in the world would fall in love with him.

Wish 2: The Squirrel wishes for a helmet.

Wish 3: The Bear wishes that none of the female bears ever wanted to get married.

Wish 3: The Squirrel wishes the Bear was gay.

What's the funniest motorcycle?

A Yama-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.... :)

^^^I'll ^^^show ^^^myself ^^^out...

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

a Yamahahahaha

A pickpocket is a victim of a motorcycle hit-and-run.

A police officer comes to his aid.

"Do you remember his license plate?" he asks.

"No" says the pickpocket weakly, "but here's his wallet."

This guy walks in a Toy R Us to buy a Barbie for his daughter's birthday.

First Barbie he sees: Barbie with ski set: 29.99

Second Barbie that caught his attention: Barbie on a motorcycle: 34:99

Third Barbie he sees: Divorced Barbie: 249.99

So he go and asks an employee why is the Divorced Barbie so expencive.

The employee replies: That's because this set comes with Ken's car, Ken's motorcycle, Ken's boat and Ken's house.

Motorcycles are fast...

...despite being both two tired and exhausted.

Guy dies and is at the pearly gates

St. Peter says: before I can let you in, you must tell me one selfless act you did while alive

Guy says One time i was driving and saw this motorcycle gang harassing a little old lady. I pulled over and went up to the biggest guy punched him square in the face and said - LOOK, if you mess with her, you mess with me

St. Peter said wow, that's pretty impressive, but I don't see it in your records. When exactly did this happen?

The guy said oh, about five seconds ago

Ruth rode on my motorcycle, on the seat behind me...

I took a bump at 95, and rode on ruthlessly

What do you call a medieval ruler who frequently says farewell, is attracted to both genders, rides a motorcycle, and originates from Scandinavia?

A biking

What's the difference between a vaccuum and a Harley motorcycle?

The vaccuum carries its dirt bag on the inside.

Little known fact, Moses had a motorcycle

It literally says so in the Bible:

"And lo, the roar of Moses' Triumph was heard throughout Israel"

What is the difference between an angel of love jumping a motorcycle through a ring of fire and a Karen?

One is a cupid stunt and the others a....

I got a motorcycle for my wife last week.

Best. Trade. Ever!

There was a Motorcycle c**... in my street I shouted let me through are you a doctor they asked

I said no it's my Pizza

Recently I realized I hate certain races.

For example Motorcycle races are not fun anymore.

What do you call a motorcycle club comprised entirely of bisexual monarchs from Scandinavia?

The Bikings.

A man made a motorcycle completely out of wood

It had a wooden engine, a wooden frame, wooden tires, wooden gas tank, everything was wood.

But did he ride it?

No, wooden start....

A guy rides his motorcycle through the border from Spain to France every week carrying two bags of sand.

The border guard searched the bags every time, but never found anything, so he had to let him through. The guard has his last day at work before retiring and the guy comes to the border again, carrying his two bags of sand. The guard says "look, man, it's my last day, I'm not going to bust you. You're clearly smuggling *something* across the border all this time but we never find anything, what is it.". The guy says "I'm smuggling motorcycles"

Why do motorcycles fall over?

Because they're too tired.

(Told to me by my 5 year old).

The resemblance was uncanny!

A newlywed man was in the garage working on his motorcycle. His new wife came out of the house and watched him work for a few minutes before saying, Now that we are married, you should probably sell that motorcycle.

The man's face went pale and he looked as if he might throw up.

Are you okay? Whats the matter? begged his wife.

He managed to get control of himself. For a minute there, you sounded like my ex-wife.

Your ex-wife? the woman exclaimed. You never told me that you were married before!

I wasn't, he said.

I just got a wooden motorcycle. It has a wooden frame, wooden handle bars, wooden wheels, and a wooden seat. Guess what?

It wooden start.

Why won't my motorcycle run?

Because it's two tired.

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson motorcycle and a vacuum cleaner?

The Harley holds the dirtbag on the outside.

When I was 16 years old I told my mom I wanted to get a motorcycle...

She said, "You are not buying a motorcycle. My brother, your uncle who you never met, died in a horrible motorcycle accident. You can have his bike."

What's the difference between a Hoover vacuum cleaner and a Harley-David motorcycle?

The position of the dirtbag.

Headless Bikers

Two old farmers are walking down a road when they hear a motorcycle behind them but are shocked when the driver passes them and the biker is headless. The two men look at each other and shrug. They continue down the road and a bicyclist comes up behind them and he, too, is headless.

The two old men continue to walk down the road, when the one walking along the inside turns to the other one.

You know, Allen, I think maybe you should carry that scythe on your other shoulder

Why did the motorcycle pull over?

It was 2 tired.

I don't snore, I dream I'm a motorcycle.

And that's why I wake up exhausted.

Uvalde citizen gets pulled over

A very cute blonde was pulled over for speeding by an Uvalde motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket book, she said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the policeman's Ball."

The cop replied, "No, ma'am. You're thinking of the Border Patrol , the Uvalde Police don't have b**...."

Beware of a new E-bay scam

I ordered my wife some expensive jewelry and they sent me motorcycle parts

Motorcyclist: I can drive this motorcycle on one wheel!

4 year old: *gasp* wheelie?!

Adultery

There were three guys that died and went to heaven.
The first went up and then God said, "You have committed adultery so you shall own a bike."
The second guy comes up and God says, "You have almost committed adultery so you shall own a motorcycle."
The third guy goes up and then God says, "You have only thought about adultery so you shall get a Porsche!"
The first guy comes up to the man in the Porsche and starts Laughing and the man in the Porsche asks, "Why are you laughing? You only got a bike!"
The guy on the bike says, "I just saw your wife on a skateboard!"

A little girl was walking home from school when a man on a motorcycle pulled up beside her.

Man: Hey little girl, want to ride on the back of my motorcycle?

Girl: No.

Man: Come on sweetie, I'll give you five dollars if you ride with me.

Girl: Get away from me or I'll call the cops.

Man: How about twenty dollars, just get on the back with me.

Girl: (Starts running) No way!

Man: Okay, final offer, twenty dollars and a bag of candy.

Girl: Look, Dad, you had to buy a Honda instead of a Harley, you ride it!

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the motorcycle triumph puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working motorcycle ducati piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes