Motor Jokes
103 motor jokes and hilarious motor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about motor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
An article bursting with jokes about motors! Get ready for some side-splitting laughs about electric motors, LS motors, boating motors, outboard motors, motor racing, wheelers, Chevy, and more automotive motors. So buckle up, sit back, and get ready to roar with laughter.
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Funniest Motor Short Jokes
Short motor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The motor humour may include short vehicle jokes also.
- If you want to be a General Motors engineer, your memory needs to be perfect. You have to recall everything.
- I've got an old project car that I named after my wife. I haven't turned her on in years, now it usually takes a garage full of men to get her motor running.
- A friend bet me that I couldn't turn spaghetti into a motor vehicle She was really mad when I drove pasta
- As a repair man, I once installed a motor too powerful in a moving stairway. It escalated very quickly.
- My toddler tried out and age aproporiate pickup line "Hey baby, you've got some fiiiiiiine motor skills."
- Remember when... ... the General Motors jobs were in Flint, and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico. And now...
- I hope Bethesda's next Elder Scrolls game is a racing thriller set in South California They already have the perfect name for it: TES: LA Motors. I don't see why they couldn't.
- General Motors will introduce 2 new warning lights for their cars! One to tell you that you need a new engine and the other to tell you that you need a new car.
- We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil. It's for Autumnmobiles
- Did you hear the one about the car that miraculously drives itself without having a motor? I have no idea how that one goes.
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Motor One Liners
Which motor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with motor? I can suggest the ones about engine and tractor.
- Why do babies make bad mechanics? They have poorly developed motor skills.
- For Sale: Starter motor for Perpetual Motion Machine. Only used once.
- I invented a motorized walking stick.. I call it the hurrycane.
- What is the name of the business that sells hearses? Rigor Motors
- Why can't Steven hawking drive Because he has no motor function
- the motor in my watch stopped running I'm down a quartz
- How do you advertise a motor home? A trailer
- Russians have General Winter Americans have General Motors
- Possibly the worst joke of all time. What do you call a motor's ear?
An engineer. - I finally decided I want to be a car mechanic. Guess it just took some motor-vation.
- What is a plant's favorite motor oil? Penn-soil
- Would lying about what motor vehicle you possess be considered... ...a cardenial sin?
- What do fish sticks use to get their motors running? Tartar Fluid.
- did you hear about the new fruit powered motor? it runs on apples but it still mangoes
- Jesus did motor cage attempt... Sorry. I meant carpentry.
Motor Oil Jokes
Here is a list of funny motor oil jokes and even better motor oil puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call motor oil from Cuba? Fidel Castrol
Motor Skills Jokes
Here is a list of funny motor skills jokes and even better motor skills puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies don't have the motor skills or the depth perception to change a light bulb.
- Why were the cop's hands to shaky to place a parking fine on a vehicle? He had to work on his fine-motor skills.
Who's car was it?
His parkin' son. - Why did the kid with Cerebral palsy fail drivers ed? Because he lacks motor skills
- Why was the grandmother's license revoked? She had lost her fine motor skills.
- Why wasn't the bear allowed to drive? Because bears don't have fine *motor* skills
Boat Motor Jokes
Here is a list of funny boat motor jokes and even better boat motor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a boat motor that starts on the first try? Evinnotrude
Electric Motor Jokes
Here is a list of funny electric motor jokes and even better electric motor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Which three American Generals won the most during the cold war? General Motors, General Electric, and General Dynamics.
- Why did the king of electric motors that-are-on-but-have-no-load abdicate his throne? He had very little real power.
Cheeky Motor Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about motor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cars jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make motor pranks.
Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.
Winter is natures way of telling you to polish.
How can you tell when a Gold Wing rider is having an affair? His helmet doesn't match the passengers.
I love my motorcycle - it's great for getting to the front of queues quicker. It does always terrify the other people in the post office though.
The wind was so strong last night I really struggled to light my cigarette. Eventually, after 20 minutes of trying, I gave in and stopped my motorbike on the hard shoulder.
Cardiologist and Motorcycle mechanic
A motorcycle mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a
Harley-Davidson when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take
a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, 'Hey Doc,
want to take a look at this?' The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over
to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc,
look at this engine. I opened its heart, take the valves out, repair any
damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like
new.
So how come I make $39,700 a year and you make $1,700,000 when you and I are
doing basically the same work?'
The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic...
'Try doing it with the engine running'
A motorcycle, a van, and a car bet against each other to see who would best whom in an endurance race.
The rules were set, and each vehicle was to drive 200 laps around a quarter mile track. Each vehicle agreed to this and the race began. After 10 laps, the motorcycle was in the lead against the car and the van by a large margin. Around 50 laps, he had started to loose ground against the car, and was only ahead of the van. 150 laps into the race, the motorcycle pulls into the pit stop and declares that he is quitting the race. When asked why, his only response was, "It's because I'm just two tired."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can build and fix small engines using only v**..., f**... and rotted animals.
Due to my g**... motor skills.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Oil
So an 80 yr. old man runs into a hospital with his 20 yr. old wife, and says "Help! My wife is having a baby!" So, they deliver the baby, and then one of the nurses asks the man "How do you still make babies at your age!?" He c**... replies "Just gotta keep the motor running,"
A few months pass and the couple is back with another baby, again, after the delivery, the nurse asks him how he's able to do it. He replies again "Just gotta keep the motor running," looking very smug.
A few months pass again and sure enough, they're back again with another baby. The nurse asks him after the delivery once more, and with a huge look of gluttonous pride he says "Like before, you just gotta keep the motor running!" The nurse yells "Well I guess its time to change the oil, 'cause this one came out black!
So rabbit and bear were walking through the forest...
...when they meet a fairy. She grants both of them three wishes.
Bear says without thinking: "I wish all lady bears in this forest had a crush on me!"
Rabbit wishes himself a motorcycle helmet, and both wishes are immediately granted. Next, bear thinks a bit and then says: "I wish all lady bears in the whole world had a crush on me!"
Rabbit wishes himself a motorcycle, and both wishes are granted.
Now bear thinks a quite a while and then shouts: "I wish all bears on this world were lady bears!"
Rabbit puts on his helmet, gets on the motorcycle, starts the motor and says over his shoulder: "I wish bear was gay!"
An oldie, but a goodie!
A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
A penguin has some car trouble...
A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
How does a motor work?
GrrrRRRR....
A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.
"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."
The price they charge to repair.
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with it running."
A penguin is driving his car...
A penguin is driving his car when he notices that the check engine light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first auto shop.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk. He sees an ice-cream shop and decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
Where did the engine go after he retired?
To live in a motor home
If Motorola made a motorcycle branch, what would it be called?
Moto Guzzi.
What do you call Stephen Hawking before he got motor neuron disease?
Stephen Walkin
A motorist was pulled over by a traffic cop.
"Excuse me, sir," said the cop. "Do you realize your wife fell out of the car two miles back?"
"Thank God," he said. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone one knows Nissan's Motorsport brand, NISMO....
But most forget Honda's brand, h**......it's pretty gay if you ask me...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who is calling?
The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational.
p**... answered, "We've got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel swanks around in."
There was a stony silence for a second or two.
''Do you know who you are speaking to?''
''No,'' said p**....
''It is the so-called fat-arsed colonel you so insubordinately referred to.''
''Well, do you know who you are talking to?'' asked p**...
''No,'' roared the colonel.
''Well thank goodness for that,'' said p**... and hung up the phone.
Motorcycles, more like donor cycles.
What do you call someone who has irrational and prejudiced views against motor races?
A feminist
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona...
...and sees that the car's oil-pressure light is on.He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.
The mechanic looks up from the engine and says, "It looks like you've blown a seal."
"No, no," the penguin replies, wiping his mouth, "it's just ice cream."
A car broke down on a Native Reservation...
...so the driver got out to see what was going on. He lifted the hood, looked in, and noticed there was something wrong with the motor piston. Without any tools or cell service, he sighed, shut the hood and leaned on his car and waited for a passerby. Finally, a truck came around the bend so he waved it down and the truck pulled over. Inside was a few Native Americans, and asked, "what's wrong?"
"Piston broke", he replied.
"So are we. Get in."
What do motors and the Soviet Union have in common?
Commutators
what is a motorbike and a gun?
a motorbike with a gun on it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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In the motorcycle safety course they tell you that target fixation is bad, where your eyes are looking is where you usually end up.
Must be why I keep running over female joggers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does the motorcycle of a Ku Klux k**... member sounds like?
Runnnnnnnnnnnnigganigganigganigaanigga
What is the name of a motorist fan in the Netherlands?
Bus van Truck
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a motorcycle and Eddie Hermida have in common?
They both killed s**... silence.
Motorcycle will last you a lifetime
if you ride it fast enough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do fat chick's and motor scooters have in common?
They're fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to catch you on one!
What does a motorcycle and the government have it common?
Once you have more power, you can't go back.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Stephen Hawking and Richard Hammond have in common?
They both have poor motor skills.
I was out fishing on the lake with my dad yesterday. When we were ready to call it a day my dad goes to start up the motor and it doesn't work.
Dad: "Looks like we're gonna have to row back to the bank. Pass me one of those paddles."
Me: "Which one?"
Dad: "Either oar."
What do old people do with their cars when they are to old to drive them?
they tow them behind their motor home!
Why did the motorcycle stay at home?
It was two-tired
After his motorcycle accident where he lost his left leg and half his right foot, Dylan sulked slowly around school in all black outfits.
We call him the three-toed Goth.
A starter motor walks into a bar
The bartender says, "now don't start anything!"
What do you call a motor home in the hood?
A whip crib.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know an Asian stole your car?
He's still trying to start the motor.
Motorcycles are fast...
...despite being both two tired and exhausted.
Father and son are having discussion who is smarter
"Dad, do you know who invented AC motor?"
"Of course I know! Nikola Tesla"
"Yep Dad, Nikola Tesla, not his father."
"Optimist" is a person, who keeps his car's motor running...
...while his wife goes shopping.
My grandad didn't report his symptoms
He didn't report his symptoms of motor neurone disease for 5 months... he didn't have the nerve to say anything...
2019 Mustang was announced at the Geneva motor show.
It was a real hit with the crowds
What do you call the front part of an Amish horse drawn buggy?
The Yoder motor
Why does the motorcycle get sad when shifting gears?
Because the clutch is depressed
What does a motor use to hear?
Engine-ears
Motorbikes are ideal transportation for people that don't intend to have children.
They wouldn't even let me bring our newborn home from the hospital.
It seems that today you either have to dress like a masculine motor king or a feminine flower queen; I wish there was a middle ground.
A daisy duke if you will.
"I think your car just got keyed by some guy..." I told a man in the street.
"Can't you give me a better description?" he said.
"OK," I replied, "some gentleman swiped his tender hand across the metallic section of your motor vehicle, sir."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a Motorcycle c**... in my street I shouted let me through are you a doctor they asked
I said no it's my Pizza
An couple of Swedish jokes
What does it say at the bottom of a Norwegian swimming pool?
- No smoking allowed.
Why do Norwegian motor bikers wear pyjamas hats instead of helmets?
- Because the helmet broke during the 300 metre free fall test.
Why did the Norwegian bring a car door to the desert?
- so he could roll the window down in case it gets too hot.
What does a Norwegian calculator say you if you enter 1 + 1?
- please wait...
Why won't my motorcycle run?
Because it's two tired.
What motorcycles do ghosts prefer?
A boocati.
Motorcyclist: I can drive this motorcycle on one wheel!
4 year old: *gasp* wheelie?!
