Motivational Jokes
126 motivational jokes and hilarious motivational puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about motivational that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the power of motivational jokes to improve work productivity and help students get through lectures and seminars. It provides largely positive examples to illustrate how even the shortest joke can have a large impact on morale.
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Funniest Motivational Short Jokes
Short motivational jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The motivational humour may include short motivate jokes also.
- A company owner was asked a question, How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking." - What is the difference between standup comedy, and motivational speaking? Which side of the mic the depressed people are on.
- I hear they are putting Donald Trump on the penny. It's to help motivate us to phase them out over the next four years.
- When I got depressed, I joined the Army.
I didn't have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on. - My friend said she teaches circuit training classes.. I'll bet she's the driving force behind her students' motivation.
- My doctor said the best thing I could do for my health was to go outside more. He told me to pick a fun outdoor hobby to motivate me to get out of the house. So I started smoking.
- A guy walks in a library: - Do you have motivational books here?
- Yes darling, right there, 3rd row, the second shelf.
- Do you have any books closer?" - After being 3 months sober from drinking, I bought myself a motivational poster to keep my spirits up. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky
- Hippo was a great motivational speaker. Hippo taught that you must never give up. Hippo didn't follow his own advice. Hippo Quit
- If you're searching for motivation and positivity look no further! Because you probably won't find any
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Motivational One Liners
Which motivational one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with motivational? I can suggest the ones about motive and inspirational.
- They call me 007 at work 0 motivation
0 skills
7 coffee breaks - When do trains do crazy things? When they have loco motives.
- What drove the conductor to commit his heinous crimes? His loco motives.
- I blew a speaker in my car today He was a motivational speaker
- A spanish man murders someone on a train He must have had one loco-motive
- What did Microsoft employees say to Bill Gates after his motivational speech? Word.
- What blood type does a motivational speaker have? B Positive!
- What do you need to cause a railway accident in Mexico? A loco-motive.
- Why was the spanish conductor arrested? He had some loco motives
- How dads of kenya motivates their kids? by saying: 'kenya do this?'
- What do you say to a motivated ghost? That's the spirit!
- My blood type is very motivating! Its always telling me to B positive.
- What do you call a crackhead who helps to turn your life around? A motivational tweaker.
- Why are trains always put in insane asylums? Because they have loco-motives
- See that shadow on the wall? It's brighter than your future.
Motivational Speaker Jokes
Here is a list of funny motivational speaker jokes and even better motivational speaker puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the motivational speaker say to the duct? You conduit!
- A motivational speaker retired due to depression He discovered he had B Negative blood
- Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker? Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.
- People have said I should be a motivational speaker... But I don't have the motivation.
- What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player? The baseball player has all of its limbs.
- What did the motivational speaker ask the bottle of water? Do you have what it takes to be a liter?
- A financial fraudster, a reformed whoremonger, an alcoholic, and a motivational speaker walk into a drugstore. The guy at the counter then says, Back to your old habits, eh, Mr. Belfort?
- Why was the motivational speaker a failure in Ethiopia? His mantra was "Stay Hungry"
- What did the motivational speaker dolphin believe? That everybody in life has a porpoise
- I blew a speaker in my truck today He was a motivational speaker. Felt pretty good about myself afterwards.
Gotta love Doug Stanhope.
Motivational Inspirational Jokes
Here is a list of funny motivational inspirational jokes and even better motivational inspirational puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration. Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive. - When Katy Perry has the eye of the tiger it's inspiring and motivational But when I have it all of a sudden I'm endangering animals and have a lifetime ban from the zoo
- My exes are truly inspirational people When I ask what motivates them they always tell me 'be the pain you want to see in the world'
Cheeky Motivational Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about motivational you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean inspiring jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make motivational pranks.
It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Tomorrow: The best labor saving device of today.
The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems.
Everything always ends well. If not – it's probably not the end.
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
Always identify who to blame in an emergency.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You're the best! At being the worst.
I don't believe in myths like the one that states you have a brain.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you want to see a m**...? Kill someone and look yourself in the mirror.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The grass is always greener on the other side because its fertilized with b**....
Life is good you know. So I suggest you get one.
Password looks at itself in the mirror:
"
Don't listen to Google. You are a strong, confident password."
The possibilities are endless, but I just want the good ones.
A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.
It was a loco motive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
While we still don't know the motivations or the thought process behind the Boston Bombings
I think it's safe to say that the perpetrators are racists.
Bit of a dad joke - trains in jail
Q. Why are trains always being falsely imprisoned?
A. Because of their loco motives
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don know but I for one dream of an America where a chicken can cross a road without having his motives questioned!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others." ― Ayn Rand
Obviously He's never been a cotton plantation s**... owner.
What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus?
Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was at a h**... volunteer center...
...to give a motivational talk to the patients
He told them they need to stay positive.
Not surprise he got kicked out shortly after
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the crazy mexican c**... a train?
He had loco motives...
I'll show myself out
What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues?
Underlay! Underlay!
Motivational words from Stevie Wonder.
I have lived life through a lot of troubles and made it through each and every one of them.
Being a musician is hard and making money to support myself was even harder. Being blind didn't make anything easier, but I made due.
One thing I can say I am thankful for is.
At least I'm not black.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A ghost says to his ghostfriend..
"I don't think I'm gonna enter the next ghost-race.."
"Why not?" Asked the ghost-friend.
"Because I've lost every other one!" He cries sullenly.
"I believe in you, so enter the next ghost-race!"
"..Yeah. Yeah! I **can** do this!" Cried the ghost, filled with motivation.
Smug, the ghost friend said;
"That's the spirit!"
What do you call a crazy train
A loco-motive
My wife is my biggest motivator
Every time I feel like it's all too much to bear, all she has to say is:
"Why don't you just make two trips?"
Got asked how to motivate a team at work today
Apparently a baseball bat is the wrong answer
How does Sauron motivate his army?
With Mordor-vation!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a m**... mystery on a train?
A loco-motive
Motivation is like quicksand.
I'll likely never encounter it but see it in movies all the time.
They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind
But I like to think he had posterior motives.
Why is electricity so motivated?
Because they conduit
A Spanish madman recently bombed a train station...
Everybody's saying he had loco motives.
A young kid was smart, but was failing math.
He simply refused to apply himself. The parents tried everything to no avail. Finally, in desperation, they put him into a private Catholic school. When they got his first report card they were delighted to see he got an A in math. They asked him what had finally motivated him. He said "When I first walked into the school and saw that guy on the wall nailed to the plus sign, I knew these guys were serious."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mexican train killers...
..have loco motives!
What's it called when somebody carelessly walks on train tracks?
A loco motive
My sister told me about a christian motivational group that came to her school. She said they were super strong but didn't lift weights.
So I figured they must do crossfit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What must you have if you want to c**... a train?
A loco motive.
I made this one up several years ago and have never posted here 🙃
Some people ask 'why' to determine a motive, I ask 'why' because I don't believe there's any logical reason to do anything.
-Nietzsche on the habits of road crossing chickens
I have always wanted to be a motivational speaker. To get the crowd on their feet. To feel optimistic about the day ahead, or even the life ahead. To make them feel like all their dreams are within arms reach with just a little hard work and the willingness to be something more than just who you are
Im Justin too lazy to get up.
What do you call a crazy Mexican plotting to run you over with a train for sleeping with his girlfriend?
A loco motive.
Did you know about the crazy train driver?
I hear he has tons of loco-motives.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The n**... really wasted so much money and effort on a racist motive which made no sense
It truly was a hollow cost
She said, "boy, I know you got ulterior motives. You can't fool me." I told her, "nah, girl I got one clear motive."
^to fill this ever-deepening void of loneliness.
After feeling like he's being followed by a flock of ducks for years, a spanish man finally decides to lose them by jumping in front of a train...
I guess you could say it was quite a loco motive.
What really motivates people to work out in southeast asia?
Eye of the Thai girl.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New m**... research reveals that it cures...
Symptoms of motivation by up to 95%.
I dreamt of a better world for chickens everywhere.
A world where chickens could cross the road without having their motives questioned.
Opportunity, Motive and Intent
Could-ah, Should-ah, Would-ah.
Two mexicans attempted to rob an old train for its parts
Authorities say it's a loco motive
I was looking for a type of medicine to motivate me
My friend recommended Aspirin.
Why
Because after taking it, I've been Aspirin to do great things
"Where there's a will, there's a way" is a great self motivational phrase
Until an inheritance is involved
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cop 1: This m**... seems racially motivated.
Cop 2: Hate crime?
Cop 1: Of course I hate crime. That's why I'm a cop.
