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Motivational Jokes

131 motivational jokes and hilarious motivational puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about motivational that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the power of motivational jokes to improve work productivity and help students get through lectures and seminars. It provides largely positive examples to illustrate how even the shortest joke can have a large impact on morale.

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Funniest Motivational Short Jokes

Short motivational jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The motivational humour may include short motivate jokes also.

  1. A company owner was asked a question, How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
    He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."
  2. What is the difference between standup comedy, and motivational speaking? Which side of the mic the depressed people are on.
  3. I hear they are putting Donald Trump on the penny. It's to help motivate us to phase them out over the next four years.
  4. Why did the feminist cross the road? It doesn't matter. Women have the right to cross roads without having their motives questioned.
  5. Why did the Mexican train driver kill all of his passengers? I'm not sure, but he must have had a loco motive.
  6. When I got depressed, I joined the Army.
    I didn't have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on.
  7. My friend said she teaches circuit training classes.. I'll bet she's the driving force behind her students' motivation.
  8. My doctor said the best thing I could do for my health was to go outside more. He told me to pick a fun outdoor hobby to motivate me to get out of the house. So I started smoking.
  9. A guy walks in a library: - Do you have motivational books here?
    - Yes darling, right there, 3rd row, the second shelf.
    - Do you have any books closer?"
  10. Remember that every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person Stay lazy, my friends

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Motivational One Liners

Which motivational one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with motivational? I can suggest the ones about motive and inspirational.

  1. Have you ever heard of the mexican train killer? He had loco motives
  2. Did you hear about that Mexican train thief? They say he had loco motives.
  3. They call me 007 at work 0 motivation
    0 skills
    7 coffee breaks
  4. Why did the Mexican guy rob a train? He had a loco motive.
  5. Did you guys hear about the Mexican train killer? He had a loco motive.
  6. Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train robber? He had loco motives
  7. When do trains do crazy things? When they have loco motives.
  8. Do you know that crazy Mexican that steals trains? He had loco motives
  9. What drove the conductor to commit his heinous crimes? His loco motives.
  10. Did you hear about the mexican who stole a train? He had a loco-motive
  11. I blew a speaker in my car today He was a motivational speaker
  12. A spanish man murders someone on a train He must have had one loco-motive
  13. What did Microsoft employees say to Bill Gates after his motivational speech? Word.
  14. What blood type does a motivational speaker have? B Positive!
  15. What do you need to cause a railway accident in Mexico? A loco-motive.

Motivational Speaker Jokes

Here is a list of funny motivational speaker jokes and even better motivational speaker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Hippo was a great motivational speaker. Hippo taught that you must never give up. Hippo didn't follow his own advice. Hippo Quit
  • I blew a speaker in my car today.. It was a motivational speaker. It left a bad taste in my mouth, but I feel a lot better about myself.
  • What did the motivational speaker say to the duct? You conduit!
  • I blew a speaker in my car today yea, he was motivational speaker, it left a bad taste in my mouth but I've been feeling a lot more positive ever since.
  • A motivational speaker retired due to depression He discovered he had B Negative blood
  • Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker? Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.
  • People have said I should be a motivational speaker... But I don't have the motivation.
  • What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player? The baseball player has all of its limbs.
  • A financial fraudster, a reformed whoremonger, an alcoholic, and a motivational speaker walk into a drugstore. The guy at the counter then says, Back to your old habits, eh, Mr. Belfort?
  • Why was the motivational speaker a failure in Ethiopia? His mantra was "Stay Hungry"

Motivational Speakers Jokes

Here is a list of funny motivational speakers jokes and even better motivational speakers puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the motivational speaker dolphin believe? That everybody in life has a porpoise
  • What's the ideal blood type for a motivational speaker? Be positive.
  • What did the motivational speaker ask the bottle of water? Do you have what it takes to be a liter?
  • I blew a speaker in my truck today He was a motivational speaker. Felt pretty good about myself afterwards.
    Gotta love Doug Stanhope.
  • What do you call a fat motivational speaker? A Sphere of Influence.
Motivational joke, What do you call a fat motivational speaker?

Motivational Inspirational Jokes

Here is a list of funny motivational inspirational jokes and even better motivational inspirational puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration. Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
    I have no Drive.
  • When Katy Perry has the eye of the tiger it's inspiring and motivational But when I have it all of a sudden I'm endangering animals and have a lifetime ban from the zoo
  • My exes are truly inspirational people When I ask what motivates them they always tell me 'be the pain you want to see in the world'
Motivational joke, My exes are truly inspirational people

Cheeky Motivational Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about motivational you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean inspiring jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make motivational pranks.

Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them".

I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.

The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.

Everything always ends well. If not – it's probably not the end.

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.

See that shadow on the wall? It's brighter than your future.

A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.

It was a loco motive.

Why are trains always put in insane asylums?

Because they have loco-motives

While we still don't know the motivations or the thought process behind the Boston Bombings

I think it's safe to say that the perpetrators are racists.

Bit of a dad joke - trains in jail

Q. Why are trains always being falsely imprisoned?
A. Because of their loco motives

Did you hear about the hispanic that's been stealing all the trains?

I heard he has some loco motives. (Locomotives)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don know but I for one dream of an America where a chicken can cross a road without having his motives questioned!

Did you guys hear about the m**... who stole a train in Mexico?

They say he had a loco motive.

What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus?

Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.

Did you hear about the Mexican dude who liked to kill trains?

They said he had loco-motives.

What do you say to a motivated ghost?

That's the spirit!

There is a Hispanic train conductor going around committing horrible crimes..

No one knows why, but it's clear he has a loco motive.

Why did the crazy mexican c**... a train?

He had loco motives...
I'll show myself out

If you're searching for motivation and positivity look no further!

Because you probably won't find any

Did you hear about the Mexican t**......?

Did you hear about the Mexican t**... who planted a bomb on the train?
He had loco motives.

Motivation

A bull was deployed for servicing the cows on a farm.
Lady asks the farm manager: "How many times can this bull perform?"
Manager replies: "5 to 6 times in a day".
Lady looks at her husband: "You see?"
Husband asks the manager: "Is it the same cow every time?"
Manager: "No sir it's a different cow every time."
Man looks back to wife: "You see!"

Why did a Hispanic man rob a train?

He had loco motives!

I heard a crazy train engineer in Mexico killed a bunch of people last week.

Yeah. He had a loco motive.

A ghost says to his ghostfriend..

"I don't think I'm gonna enter the next ghost-race.."
"Why not?" Asked the ghost-friend.
"Because I've lost every other one!" He cries sullenly.
"I believe in you, so enter the next ghost-race!"
"..Yeah. Yeah! I **can** do this!" Cried the ghost, filled with motivation.
Smug, the ghost friend said;
"That's the spirit!"

Punctuality....

A company owner was asked a question, "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."

What do you call a crazy train

A loco-motive

My wife is my biggest motivator

Every time I feel like it's all too much to bear, all she has to say is:
"Why don't you just make two trips?"

Why did the Spanish guy rob a train?

He had a *loco*-motive

The Mexican train operator murdered three people yesterday. He told us that the train told him to do it.

He had a loco motive.

Why was the spanish conductor arrested?

He had some loco motives

Motivation is like quicksand.

I'll likely never encounter it but see it in movies all the time.

They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind

But I like to think he had posterior motives.

Little Johnny

Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

A young kid was smart, but was failing math.

He simply refused to apply himself. The parents tried everything to no avail. Finally, in desperation, they put him into a private Catholic school. When they got his first report card they were delighted to see he got an A in math. They asked him what had finally motivated him. He said "When I first walked into the school and saw that guy on the wall nailed to the plus sign, I knew these guys were serious."

Mexican train killers...

..have loco motives!

My blood type is very motivating!

Its always telling me to B positive.

What must you have if you want to c**... a train?

A loco motive.
I made this one up several years ago and have never posted here 🙃

Did you hear about the Mexican train conductor arrested for m**...?

He had loco-motives

Did you know about the crazy train driver?

I hear he has tons of loco-motives.

The n**... really wasted so much money and effort on a racist motive which made no sense

It truly was a hollow cost

She said, "boy, I know you got ulterior motives. You can't fool me." I told her, "nah, girl I got one clear motive."

^to fill this ever-deepening void of loneliness.

What do you call a crackhead who helps to turn your life around?

A motivational tweaker.

How dads of kenya motivates their kids?

by saying: 'kenya do this?'

Why did the Mexican try to steal a train?

No one knows the reason, but he obviously had a loco-motive.

New m**... research reveals that it cures...

Symptoms of motivation by up to 95%.

I dreamt of a better world for chickens everywhere.

A world where chickens could cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Two mexicans attempted to rob an old train for its parts

Authorities say it's a loco motive

I was looking for a type of medicine to motivate me

My friend recommended Aspirin.
Why
Because after taking it, I've been Aspirin to do great things

Officer 1: This m**... seems racially motivated.

Officer 2: Hate crime?
Officer 1: Of course I hate crime, idiot. That's why I became a cop.

Did you hear about the Mexican train conductor wanted for m**...?

The authorities are saying he had loco motives.

After being 3 months sober from drinking, I bought myself a motivational poster to keep my spirits up.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky

Cop 1: This m**... seems racially motivated.

Cop 2: Hate crime?
Cop 1: Of course I hate crime. That's why I'm a cop.

Why did the Spanish train driver c**... into an insane asylum?

Nobody is sure, but the doctors said they saw a loco motive

Just a bit of motivation for all of you out there

Always remember, you're never completely useless...
You can always serve as a bad example!

Jimmy was racing his friends to the nearest tree

"Last one there's a p**...!" one of the older kids said.
This motivated Jimmy. He was set on winning.
He would not be deterred.

Did you hear about the Mexican Serial Killer?

He had loco-motives.

Motivational joke, Did you hear about the Mexican Serial Killer?

jokes about motivational