Motivation Jokes
79 motivation jokes and hilarious motivation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about motivation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Liven up your Monday with some motivation jokes! Get inspired and encourage yourself with some funny quotes and jokes. Achieve success, stay positive and be inspired by these motivation jokes that will surely put a smile on your face.
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Funniest Motivation Short Jokes
Short motivation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The motivation humour may include short motivate jokes also.
- A company owner was asked a question, How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking." - What is the difference between standup comedy, and motivational speaking? Which side of the mic the depressed people are on.
- I hear they are putting Donald Trump on the penny. It's to help motivate us to phase them out over the next four years.
- When I got depressed, I joined the Army.
I didn't have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on. - My friend said she teaches circuit training classes.. I'll bet she's the driving force behind her students' motivation.
- My doctor said the best thing I could do for my health was to go outside more. He told me to pick a fun outdoor hobby to motivate me to get out of the house. So I started smoking.
- A guy walks in a library: - Do you have motivational books here?
- Yes darling, right there, 3rd row, the second shelf.
- Do you have any books closer?" - After being 3 months sober from drinking, I bought myself a motivational poster to keep my spirits up. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky
- Hippo was a great motivational speaker. Hippo taught that you must never give up. Hippo didn't follow his own advice. Hippo Quit
- If you're searching for motivation and positivity look no further! Because you probably won't find any
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Motivation One Liners
Which motivation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with motivation? I can suggest the ones about motive and inspiration.
- They call me 007 at work 0 motivation
0 skills
7 coffee breaks - When do trains do crazy things? When they have loco motives.
- What drove the conductor to commit his heinous crimes? His loco motives.
- I blew a speaker in my car today He was a motivational speaker
- A spanish man murders someone on a train He must have had one loco-motive
- What did Microsoft employees say to Bill Gates after his motivational speech? Word.
- What blood type does a motivational speaker have? B Positive!
- What do you need to cause a railway accident in Mexico? A loco-motive.
- Why was the spanish conductor arrested? He had some loco motives
- How dads of kenya motivates their kids? by saying: 'kenya do this?'
- What do you say to a motivated ghost? That's the spirit!
- My blood type is very motivating! Its always telling me to B positive.
- What do you call a crackhead who helps to turn your life around? A motivational tweaker.
- Why are trains always put in insane asylums? Because they have loco-motives
- See that shadow on the wall? It's brighter than your future.
Motivation Quotes Jokes
Here is a list of funny motivation quotes jokes and even better motivation quotes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration. Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive. - Should I get motivational quotes tattooed on my arms? On one hand, Just go for it! On the other, maybe, always think twice.
Fun-Filled Motivation Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about motivation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean attraction jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make motivation pranks.
It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.
The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
Everything always ends well. If not – it's probably not the end.
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.
It was a loco motive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
While we still don't know the motivations or the thought process behind the Boston Bombings
I think it's safe to say that the perpetrators are racists.
Bit of a dad joke - trains in jail
Q. Why are trains always being falsely imprisoned?
A. Because of their loco motives
What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus?
Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the crazy mexican c**... a train?
He had loco motives...
I'll show myself out
What did the motivational speaker say to the duct?
You conduit!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A ghost says to his ghostfriend..
"I don't think I'm gonna enter the next ghost-race.."
"Why not?" Asked the ghost-friend.
"Because I've lost every other one!" He cries sullenly.
"I believe in you, so enter the next ghost-race!"
"..Yeah. Yeah! I **can** do this!" Cried the ghost, filled with motivation.
Smug, the ghost friend said;
"That's the spirit!"
What do you call a crazy train
A loco-motive
My wife is my biggest motivator
Every time I feel like it's all too much to bear, all she has to say is:
"Why don't you just make two trips?"
Motivation is like quicksand.
I'll likely never encounter it but see it in movies all the time.
They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind
But I like to think he had posterior motives.
A young kid was smart, but was failing math.
He simply refused to apply himself. The parents tried everything to no avail. Finally, in desperation, they put him into a private Catholic school. When they got his first report card they were delighted to see he got an A in math. They asked him what had finally motivated him. He said "When I first walked into the school and saw that guy on the wall nailed to the plus sign, I knew these guys were serious."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What must you have if you want to c**... a train?
A loco motive.
I made this one up several years ago and have never posted here 🙃
Did you know about the crazy train driver?
I hear he has tons of loco-motives.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The n**... really wasted so much money and effort on a racist motive which made no sense
It truly was a hollow cost
She said, "boy, I know you got ulterior motives. You can't fool me." I told her, "nah, girl I got one clear motive."
^to fill this ever-deepening void of loneliness.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New m**... research reveals that it cures...
Symptoms of motivation by up to 95%.
I dreamt of a better world for chickens everywhere.
A world where chickens could cross the road without having their motives questioned.
Two mexicans attempted to rob an old train for its parts
Authorities say it's a loco motive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cop 1: This m**... seems racially motivated.
Cop 2: Hate crime?
Cop 1: Of course I hate crime. That's why I'm a cop.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the Spanish train driver c**... into an insane asylum?
Nobody is sure, but the doctors said they saw a loco motive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Remember that every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person
Stay lazy, my friends
Just a bit of motivation for all of you out there
Always remember, you're never completely useless...
You can always serve as a bad example!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jimmy was racing his friends to the nearest tree
"Last one there's a p**...!" one of the older kids said.
This motivated Jimmy. He was set on winning.
He would not be deterred.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
A man at a job interview was asked what he thought his greatest qualities were.
'My motivational skills' he replied ' At my last job everyone said they had to work twice as hard when I was around'
A Train Goes on a Crime Spree
A train goes on a crime spree. When he was finally caught he was asked why he did what he did. "I don't know, I think I went crazy, guess you could say I had loco motives...
It is said regarding motivation that the first step is always the hardest …
As someone with plantar fasciitis, I could not agree more.
My friend betrayed me on the test when I asked him where the light rays parallel to the principle axis of a concave mirror meet
I mean, he did try to motivate me by shouting "Focus! Focus!", but that hardly helps.
A man tries to find success as an Anti-motivational speaker
"In today's world of toxic positivity, we need more HEALTHY NEGATIVITY! Acknowledge your limitations! Understand your lack of potential! Remember that in this world of many people, you are NOT SPECIAL and EASILY REPLACEABLE!"
An audience member suddenly stood up, tears streaming down his face.
"Is this what it's like to have a Father?"
A group of dwarves get jobs as coal miners
After a week or so, one of the workers really stood out and was getting special treatment from the supervisor, Moe. The other dwarves complained to HR and threatened to go on strike.
The supervisor was called into the office and reprimanded. He explained that he was only trying to keep the hardest worker motivated and asked exactly what he supposed to do, to which the Human Resources manager replied, Treat him like any mini miner, Moe.
So a Police officer in Mexico got a call about a train robbery...
He showed up after the suspect fled.
After interviewing everyone, he found nothing was taken and was quite perlexted. The man must of had a real loco motive.
