Motionless Jokes
10 motionless jokes and hilarious motionless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about motionless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Playful Motionless Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What is a good motionless joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Bears think if you're lying down motionless, you're dead.
So everyday, the first bear to wake up thinks its entire family is dead. Tragic..
A scientist wanted to study the length of a frog's jump, he began the study by telling the frog to jump, it jumped 10 feet. He then cut off the frog's front legs and told it to jump, it jumped 5 feet. The scientist then cut off the frog's back legs.
He told it to jump once more but it remained motionless. The scientist concluded that when you cut a frog's legs off it becomes deaf.
I watched a man get cut in half in a car accident today
By the time I got to him, he was delirious, clearly in his dying moments. He glanced to his left where his lower half was lying motionless, then up at me with a look somewhere in between anger and humor, and uttered his last words:
"I am beside myself right now!"
A Touching story
one day a boy was walking home from school and saw a cat lying motionless on the sidewalk. To satisfy his curiosity the boy walked up to the cat to see if it was injured or dead. He touched the cautiously the first time but there was no response. So He touched the cat again. He continued touching, touching and touching. Like i said in the title, this is a touching story.
I ran over a child who was on his way to band practice carrying his cymbals. I'll never forget that horrible sound as I rolled past his motionless corpse.
Ba dum tiss
Panic struck, I couldn't understand why my dog was motionless...
Then I realized...it was on paws.
Two young men sneak on to a blind man's property in order to steal something of vaule.
The blind man hears them and goes to the door with his shot gun. The two young men, seeing the blind man, stand motionless. The blind calls out, "Marco!". Silence. He tries once more, "Marco!" More silence. One more time, "Marco!" One of the young men, tired of the game, yells out, "We aren't going to fall for that..." *BANG!
Scary Story
It seemed like an average Tuesday night. The roads were quiet outside, and rain was beginning to pour down hard. Things were going pretty slowly until a friend of mine burst through the door, but there was something off about him. There he stood, motionless in the dark, his piercing stare not leaving me. After a moment or two, he began to slowly peel his own skin off. Blood dripped slowly from his lips, and I had to ask him with the most courage I could muster:
"Dude, do you need to borrow some ChapStick?"
A man is sitting at a bar when he notices a turtle near the register. It is covered with bandages ....
and not moving. "So uh, what's the deal with the dead turtle?" he asks.
The barkeep perks up, "Dead? you say? I'll have you know that this is the fastest turtle on Earth!" "In fact, I have fifty dollars that say **this** turtle can beat **you** to the other side of the room!"
The man looks at the motionless turtle and says, "Alright - Your on!"
"on the count of three" says the bartender.
"one"
"two"
"three!" and he picks up the turtle and throws it across the room.
Two men are hunting in the Forest...
Two men are hunting in the forest by themselves, when suddenly one of them falls down into a huge pit. The other hunter is shocked, and shouts down the hole to see if his friend is okay. He sees him motionless at the bottom of the pit, and gets really worried. He gets out his mobile phone, and calls an emergency helpline. A woman answers.
"Hello, this is the emergency helpline, how can I help you?" she asks.
"I'm in the forest with my friend and he just fell down a pit and I think he's dead, I'm certain! He isn't moving!" the man replies worriedly.
The woman senses the fright in his voice, and says to him "Right, it's okay, calm down, don't worry."
The man breathes heavily.
"Okay, sir? The first thing I'm going to need you to do, is make sure that your friend is dead. Okay?"
The woman can no longer hear his heavy breathing, and instead she hears the crack of a gunshot.
"Sir? Hello?" she asks.
"Okay, I've made sure he's dead, what do I do now?"
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