Mothers Day Jokes

56 mothers day jokes and hilarious mothers day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about mothers day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Mothers Day Short Jokes

Short mothers day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mothers day humour may include short mother day jokes also.

  1. The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife... Thank you for everything, Mom.
    Happy Mothers' Day!
  2. The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife Thanks, Mom! Happy Mothers' Day!
  3. The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife Happy Mother's Day!
  4. Mom asks, "Are you going to take me out to a restaurant for Mother's Day?" Kid replies, "We have food at home"
  5. This Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom. He said it was the best trade he's ever made
  6. One day the youngest son asks his mother, "Mom, why do I look so different from all my siblings?".... The mother says "Son, from what I remember about that party, you are lucky that you don't bark".
  7. I'd like to wish all mothers a Happy Mother's Day! …and make all the Americans panic.
    (It's Mother's Day in the UK, for those worriedly looking at their calendar.)
  8. My Dad got a mercedes for my Mom this Mother's Day. He says it's the best trade he ever made.
  9. Valentine's day Mothers have mothers day, father's have father's day, couples have valentine's day and I have palm sunday
  10. First Day At School The child comes home from his first day at school.
    His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
    The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."

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Mothers Day One Liners

Which mothers day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mothers day? I can suggest the ones about happy mothers day and fathers day.

  1. Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
  2. My mom asked were I was taking her for Mother's Day? I told her we have food at home!
  3. Why do orphans have 363 days in a year? Because they have no Father's or Mother's Day.
  4. For all you ladies who didn't use protection this weekend Happy Mother's Day!
  5. Poor Caitlyn Jenner. She missed Mothers Day & Fathers Day.
  6. Today is Sigmund Freud's birthday Which reminds me, Mother's Day is this weekend.
  7. Happy Fat Tuesday... Or as your mother calls it, just another day.
  8. Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because their kids want to play inside.
  9. What is the hardest way to lose 6-14 pounds? Having a baby!
    Happy Mother's Day!
  10. What happens once a year and only at a graveyard? Mother's Day for Disney characters.
  11. Dear necessity, happy mothers day! -Invention.
  12. For mother day my mom is going to get the same as always
    disappointment :(
  13. This mothers day send the gift of Microsoft Office Word to your mother
  14. why do orphans have only 363 days a year because they don't have mother or fathers day
  15. Asked my wife what she wanted to get for mothers day. She said, "Drunk."

Happy Mothers Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny happy mothers day jokes and even better happy mothers day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Mom#1- That's it. I'm done. I'm selling the kid on eBay Mom#2- Don't be crazy. You made him. That does on Etsy
    Happy Mother's Day everyone!
  • [In a seahorse home] Son: Dad? Dad: Yes?
    Son: Happy M-
    Dad: DON'T
    Son: Moth-
    Dad: STOP
    *Dad bangs head on desk*
  • Mothers are Selfish I told my mom Happy Mother's Day, but she never responded with Happy Sunday.
  • Happy Mother's Day to all the great moms out there. And Shaft. Although I hear he is a bad mother...
  • Happy Mother's Day to my Dad I didn't want to assume his gender
  • Mother: (noun) 1.One person who does the work of 20. For free Happy Mothers Day all Mommy's out there ! :)
  • Getting to the front page is like getting my dad's love I may never get it, but still I keep trying.
    Happy mother's day to all the wonderful mom's who picked both roles in their kids lives :)
  • I can't wish my mom a Happy Mothers Day because she doesn't have Facebook. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • What do you do when your mother-in-law comes crawling to your front door? Reload and shoot again.
    Happy Mother's day!
  • I spent some of the best moments in my life in the arms of another man's wife... Happy mother's day mom!

Birth Mothers Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny birth mothers day jokes and even better birth mothers day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What day do most mothers give birth? Labor day.
Mothers Day joke, What day do most mothers give birth?

Mothers Day joke, What day do most mothers give birth?

Comical Mothers Day Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about mothers day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean womens day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mothers day pranks.

My wife said s**... has become a chore.

So for mothers day I've hired her some help.

We all know that there's a divide in the lepidopterist community...

We all know that there's a divide in the lepidopterist community, and that traditionally most of the glamour goes to the entomologists who study the butterflies, because they're so pretty and colorful, rather than the brown and grey moths. So for 364 days a year, the butterflyers get all the glory. But today is the day when we recognize the contributions of those devoted lepidopterists who chose a less glamorous, but no less important, path. Happy mothers day.

Palm Sunday

For Dads ... Fathers Day,
For mothers ... Mothers Day,
For Lovers ... Valentines Day
For Wankers there is Palm Sunday

Mothers day scultpures

Ellis and Chris are up late carving sculptures of a mother holding a baby for their Mothers Day stall.
All of them look the same the only differences are the flowers in the mother's hair.
Chris tells a story to Ellis about his favorite flower and why.
*Ellis rolls his eyes*
Chris: "What's YOUR favorite flower Ellis?"
Ellis sighs, gets up, and walks over to their finished pieces, picks one up and gets a splinter in his thumb.
Ellis puts the sculpture down and looks at Chris.
Chris: "So?"
Ellis turns around and as he walks out of the room he replies:
"Chris...sand the mums."

I heard the abortion clinic was having a special

50% off on mothers day.

My wife just had the best Mothers Day EVER. She had all three meals served to her in bed, people waited on her hand and foot, and she didn't do any cooking, cleaning, or taking care of the kids.

Of course, she's in the hospital :(

The best part for a man who is in an incestuous relationship with his mother that he gets to celebrate mothers day and valentine's day for the same reasons.

Fathers Day is just like Mothers Day, only you don't spend as much.

Don't do the dishes mom, it's mothers day!

Leave them, you'll do them tomorrow morning before everyone wakes up.

My mom gave me her credit card to buy her a gift for mothers day

She said if I buy anything expensive on eBay she'll smash my head on the keyboarkqkrjfhufjffitufltudduyldrysgldzkteydculfdylyxdhdyd

Being single in valentines day its not painful

If yo dont have a partner in valentines day, then dont be sad..
Not every people have Aids On Aids Day grin emoticon
Being single in valentines day its not painful, BuT
Not Having Mom In Mothers Day, its Really Painful

A special joke for Mothers Day

What's the difference between three d**... and a joke? Your mum cant take a joke.

It's mothers day because of me

Otherwise it would be childless old lady day

Why don't Brits do well on Mothers Day?

They can never remumber it.

What do test tube babies do on mothers day and father's day?

They cry

Happy Mothers Day

We love all you mothers.

Happy Mothers Day.Take a minute to thank you mom who went sleepless nights to take care of you

Happy Mothers Day to all of the moms out there!

Scared you didn't I?

Happy Mothers Day Quotes | Happy Mothers Day 2015, Poems, Wishes, Images, Sayings , Messages ,Cards


Just kidding you're good

Mothers Day Prank Suggestion

I played this simple and harmless joke on my mum a few years back and the family still laughs about it. Here you go:
Go to the local greenhouse or place that sells plants. Buy a really nice flower p**... (empty) and a bag of potting soil. This is the key, while you are there snag one of the tags from a nice looking flower that has its name, picture and whatnot on it. Make sure its something exotic so she is excited about it. Then fill the empty p**... with potting soil, stick the tag into the empty p**... and put a nice bow on it. When you give it to her say something like "the lady at the greenhouse said this is a really beautiful plant when the bulb grows but be sure to water it daily, it should grow in like 3-5 weeks". Done. Mom thinks she go a nice gift and you get to watch her water a p**... of dirt for at least a month until she decides to dig up the bulb thinking maybe she killed it... At this point I suggest you have an actual gift ready to give to her because I had to make an emergency trip to the greenhouse after being told: DONTCOMEHOMEWITHOUTAGODDAMFLOWERFORME!!!!! or something like that. Dad was still laughing when I got home, and afterwords mom even said it was a pretty good joke.

This mothers day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day.
But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess.
Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mothers Day went for me:
Mother: "You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mothers Day!"
Me: "You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!"
Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!

Mothers Day joke

jokes about mothers day