Motherinlaw Jokes
121 motherinlaw jokes and hilarious motherinlaw puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about motherinlaw that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Motherinlaw Short Jokes
Short motherinlaw jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The motherinlaw humour may include short mommy jokes also.
- My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
- My Wife just accused me of hating her side of the family and relatives. I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
- Two cannibals sat around a campfire One turned to the other and said, "God, I hate my mother-in-law."
His friend said, "Well then try the potatoes." - "Diana!" I said, greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door... She said, "My name's Anna."
I said, "Yeah, I know." - If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose... would you go to lunch or a movie?
- My wife thinks that I don't care for her relatives. I told her that's not true. I love her mother-in-law more than I love mine.
- My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea. She won't find out until she unpacks her luggage.
- I Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea Of Gay Parenting Until I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!
- What do you call mixed emotions? Watching your mother-in-law reverse off a cliff in your brand new car
- My mother-in-law fell down our well last week but she is fine she stopped crying for help 2 days ago
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Motherinlaw One Liners
Which motherinlaw one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with motherinlaw? I can suggest the ones about parenthood and mum.
- Someone kidnapped my mother-in-law He threatened that unless I pay up, he'll release her.
- The definition of mixed emotions... My mother-in-law driving of a cliff in my new car
- My mother-in-law told me I had poor posture when standing. I stand corrected.
- My wife's mother is a lawyer. I have a mother-in-law.
- Which newton's law creates the most noise? Newton's mother-in-law.
- Wife told me to take my mother-in-law out. One punch did it.
- My mother-in-law is like a fine wine. Too much of her gives me a headache.
- I ate so much at Thanksgiving, I had to loosen my Fitbit.
- My Mother-In-Law fell down a wishing well I was amazed, I didn't think they worked.
- What's the punishment for bigamy? More than one mother-in-law
- The biggest problem with polygamy? Multiple mother-in-laws.
- My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday She's fine. But, the dog died
- How do you know a wishing well works? If your mother-in-law falls down it.
- Adam was the luckiest man! He had no mother-in-law.
- What do you do when your mother-in-law waddles in the backyard? Shoot again.

Comical Motherinlaw Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about motherinlaw you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean voice jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make motherinlaw pranks.
What's the definition of mixed emotions?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
A conversation between my mother and my wife.
Wife: Hi mom, I am so happy to see you. How long will you be staying?
Mother-in-Law: As long as you want me to...
Wife: What! you wont even stay for coffee?
A man was walking along the beach with his mother-in-law...
She was complaining about how much of a good-for-nothing husband he was to her daughter, when he saw a bottle on the ground. He picked it up, wondering what it was, when a genie popped out. The genie told the man he could make 3 wishes, but when he saw the mother-in-law, said whatever the man got, the mother-in-law would get double. The man thought for a while and agreed. "I would like 1 million dollars," the man said. "Your wish is granted," said the genie. 1 million dollars was added to the man's banking account, and 2 million to the mother-in-law's. She starts complaining, "Thanks a lot, now I'll have to manage all this money, why do you have to be so selfish?!" The next wish was for a large house, and that wish was granted. This meant the mother-in-law would have a house twice as big, and started complaining about how she would have to clean such a large house, and the taxes would be expensive.
For the man's final wish, he wished to be beaten half to death.
What do a Jewish mother-in-law and 60 Minutes have in common?
They both always start with tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk...
A man and his wife drove past the beautiful countryside...
They saw a pig, rolling in the mud, so wife said: "Your relative?"
Man replied: "Yes, mother-in-law."
Horror at the zoo
A man is at the zoo with his family. Suddenly a flustered employee comes up and says
*Sir, sir! There's been a terrible accident!*
The man responds, *What happened?*
*Your mother-in-law fell into the alligator pool!*
The man, supremely calm, says to the worker, *Not my problem! You try to save those alligators.*
I was walking down the street with my wife...
... when I saw my mother-in-law being beaten up by six men.
My wife said, "Aren't you going to help?"
I said, "Six should be enough."
*(Copyright Les Dawson, as retold by Jimmy Carr on QI.)*
A man stumbles upon a magic lamp
A man stumbles upon a magic lamp and out comes a genie. The genie says, "I will grant you any three wishes you want, but whatever you wish for I will give your mother-in-law double."
The man agrees to the terms and says, "I wish for a billion dollars." Instantly, he has a billion dollars and his mother-in-law has two billion dollars.
The man then says, "I wish for a 10,000 square foot home on 100 acres." The genie grants his wish and gives his mother-in-law a 20,000 square foot home on 200 acres.
Finally, the man cleverly says, "I wish for you to beat me half to death."
A man opens the door for his moother-in-law
And declares, "Oh, long time, no see! This is a surprise. How long will you be staying with us, this time, then?"
The mother-in-law, trying to be polite, jokinly replies with a big grin, "Until you get sick of me."
"Oh, really? You won't even stay for a cup of coffee?"
Supposedly this joke was rated the funniest joke in a survey of British people...
Patient: Doctor, last night, I made Freudian slip. I was sitting at the dinner table next to my mother-in-law. I turned to her and I meant to say,"Please pass the salt", but instead I said "You fat cow, you've ruined my life".
A man is taking a stroll...
... when he finds his mother-in-law. So he asks her "Hey, how are you doing?" and she replies "Good, I just came from the beauty salon!"
So he says "Oh, was it closed?"
Ambushed my mother-in-law
After visiting our house my mother-in-law got ambushed by 6 men who starting punching her. My wife shouted Are you gonna help? , I said 6 should be enough!
The lawyer called his client overseas...
..."Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep and I can't reach any other relatives. Shall we order burial or cremation?"
Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both."
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well today...
I was amazed. I didn't know they actually worked.
Two friends meet at a bar
Guy 1: Can you believe i just spent $3000 to cremate my mother-in-law?
Guy 2: Oh really? i only paid $500 to cremate my mother-in-law
Guy 1: Yeah but your mother-in-law was dead...
A guy meets his friend on the street
but his friend has a horribly swollen face, is missing teeth, has scratches on his arms, blood all over his shirt and he looks scared and disorientated. Of course his friend gets extremely worried and asks:
"Are you all right?! What happened dude?"
"I just buried my mother-in-law..."
"So?"
"Well she resisted".
What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law?
You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.
How to start a fight
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
What are mixed feelings?
Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.
Mr. Smith is on vacation with his wife and mother-in-law in Jerusalem
One day, his mother-in-law dies quite suddenly. An undertaker proposes to bury the deceased there in Jerusalem.
'No, thank you,' says Mr. Smith. 'I'd rather have the body shipped back to New York.'
'But why not?' asks the undertaker. 'Shipping a body is expensive, and I could organise a beautiful ceremony here...'
'Look, sir! We're talking about my mother-in-law... Two thousand years ago, they buried a young man here who was resurrected three days later; I'm not taking any chances!'
So I saw my mother-in-law getting beaten up by six guys
"Aren't you going to do something?" My wife asked.
"Nah, six should be enough."
(Les Dawson)
What's the difference between my abs and my mother-in-law?
Unfortunately, I won't be seeing my abs over Christmas.
What do you do if you miss your mother-in-law?
Reload.
(Thanks Bob Dylan via Theme Time Radio Hour)
A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note:
Dearest Mom,
If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave.
The police have just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the m**... of her husband.
They only spoke to her for 2 minutes before coming to the conclusion he committed s**....
Two married men are talking: - My mother-in-law is an angel
- You're lucky, mine's still alive.
Had to bury my mother-in-law today and I must admit, it was quite a shocking experience…
I didn't expect her to scream for as long as she did…
A Jewish man's mother-in-law is in court for stealing a bag of oranges...
The judge says, Well, since you stole 6 oranges, your punishment is 6 nights in jail, one for each orange. Immediately the Jewish Man jumps up out of his seat and yells, WAIT! The whole room is shocked. What is it? Do you not feel that this is a fair punishment? Asks the judge. Oh No. I think it's very fair. I just wanted to add that she stole a bag of peas as well...
A man arrives home from work to see his mother-in-law being attacked...
... on the street outside his house by six men. He gets out of the car and watches for a second when his neighbour calls from the window "Hey, aren't you going to help?"
To which the man replies, "No, I think six is enough."
My mother-in-law came into work at lunch time today, and I must admit unlike other men, I was genuinely pleased to see her.
By the way I'm an undertaker.
So these 2 cannibals are eating dinner.
One cannibal says, man I hate my mother-in-law. The other cannibal says, so eat the rice.
Please pray for my mother-in-law. She was taken to hospital this morning. A bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn't stung.
I was too quick with the s**....
My Mother-in-law robbed a bank and is on the run from the police
Now she's my Mother-out-law
A professor asked one of his automotive students if he knew what the definition of "mixed emotions" was...
The student said "watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new Cadillac."
Two cannibals are sitting around the fire...
Two cannibals are sitting around the fire.
The first one says, I really don't like your mother-in-law.
The other one says, It's ok... just eat the noodles...
Two cannibals are sitting around a campfire.
One says to the other, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other says, "Then just eat the vegetables."
What is the definition of a mixed feeling?
Watching your mother-in-law roll off a cliff in your new car
Mother-in-law
Oh, I didn't expect you at work today Mr. Brundy, isn't it your mother-in-law's f**... today?
Well you know how it is.Work first, then fun.
In a marriage breakdown there are always both to be to blame...
...the wife and the mother-in-law.
I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my latina mother-in-law
Her address is 1837 3rd St, LA 90023, blue house. She gets off work at 6.
I saw six men k**... and punching my mother-in-law.
My neighbour said 'Well, are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
An American man visits the Holy Land...
An American man visits the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. Sadly the mother-in-law died. When seeing the local Israeli undertaker, it was explained that they could ship the body home for $5,000. But if they buried her locally it would cost only $150. The man said to the undertaker "We'll ship her home." The undertaker asked "Are you sure? It's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here." The man replied "look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I can't take that chance."
I've decided to call my mother-in-law the 'Exorcist'
...because every time she came to visit she'd make all the spirits disappear
My mother-in-law once went on holiday with a massive case of diarrhoea.
She only found out when she opened her suitcase.
My wife told me that I did not love any of her relatives
I told her that is not true.
I said, "I love your mother-in-law and father-in-law much more than I love mine."
I live in constant fear
I live in constant fear that one day while I'm least suspecting it someone might break in to burglarize and kill my mother-in-law, who lives at 375 Woodland Ave in the light blue house, only one dog who is friendly and no alarm set, always leaves the kitchen window unlocked and without screen, sleeps on the second floor south room next to the bathroom which is where she keeps all her jewelry hidden behind the mirror.
Why didn't princess Diana carry any cash?
Who would like their purse to be full with pictures of their mother-in-law?
"You don't look a day over fifty!" I told the mother-in-law on her birthday.
Slightly ruined her 38th.
I was walking down the street with my wife.
And there down an alley we saw five men beating up my mother-in-law.
My wife screamed: "Aren't you going to help?!"
I said: "No, five seems like enough."
Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.
I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.
African Safari
A young couple went on a safari to Africa, accompanied by the woman's mother.
On the second day, they got separated from their party and found themselves in a remote part of the jungle. Suddenly, a lion jumped out of the undergrowth and stood growling ferociously in front of the mother-in-law.
"Quick, George!" screamed his wife, "do something!"
"Not b**... likely," he replied, "that lion got himself into this mess, he can get himself out of it again."
My wife and I have recently moved into my Mother-In-Laws while our house is being renovated...
Being intimate is pretty tricky!
I constantly have to remind her that my Wife is sitting downstairs...
A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?"
He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"
What's the difference between bad luck and extreme bad luck?
Bad luck is when your mother-in-law falls into a river.
Extreme bad luck is when someone saves her.
I came across 6 men beating up my mother-in-law.
My wife asked, "Aren't you going to help?"
I said, "No, 6 should be enough."
My mother-in-law moved in with us, I told her to treat the house like it was her own...
so she sold it
Yesterday evening I took out my mother-in-law,
It's fun being a s**...!
Took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning..
Being a s**... is awesome sometimes
A Day Off
An man goes to see his boss..
Boss, he says, we're doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow before my mother-in-law arrives for Christmas. My wife needs me to help with cleaning, moving and hauling stuff.
COVID has us short-handed, the boss replies. I can't afford to give anyone a day off.
The man says, Thanks boss, I knew I could count on you!
A Russian joke my grandmother once told me. I hope it works in English.
A man sits at the deathbed of his mother-in-law.
She suffers very much and cries in agony:
"Oh I'm dying!" "It hurts" "I'm gonna die soon"
She stops for a seconds and says:
"Well at least the weather is nice today"
The man says: "hey dear, don't get distracted!"
A wake for my mother-in-law
Two rural gentlemen were chatting. One says, "Say, I noticed a lot of cars at your house on Saturday night. Were you having a party or something?"
"No," responds the second man. "Tragically last week one of my mules kicked my mother in law in the head, and she died suddenly"
"Oh, No!" says the first man. "So were the people there to pay their final respects?"
"No," says the second man. "Once news started to spread about the incident, men from all over the county started coming over asking if they could borrow my mule."
My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea....
She probably won't find out until she gets home and starts unpacking.
Birthday Return
Friend: "What are you going to give your mother-in-law for her birthday?"
Me: "Her son back!"
Unused Christmas present.
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift,The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
She asked me: Why,?
I replied. "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
I've got a framed photo of the mother-in-law on my drinks cabinet.
It keeps the kids from it.
And when she starts to look good I know it's time to stop drinking.
"John, bad news. Your mother-in-law died."
John is told that his mother-in-law has died. He removes the cross with Jesus from the wall and begins to take Jesus off the cross with a screwdriver. Family asks him: "What the h**... are you doing?" John say: "Jesus set me free, and I'll set him free!"
I wasn't close to my mother-in-law when she died.
It's been five years, and the police still can't prove otherwise.
A big game hunter goes on safari with his wife and his mother-in-law.
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.
Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!
"Quick, darling," the wife shouts frantically, "Do something!"
"Oh, no," the husband says, "That lion got himself into this mess. Let him get himself out!"
