Mother Russia Jokes
25 mother russia jokes and hilarious mother russia puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mother russia that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mother Russia Short Jokes
Short mother russia jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mother russia humour may include short in mother russia jokes also.
- Why's the leader of Russia always late? Is trick question. If Comerad Stalin appears late, it is only because we were early. All glory to mother Russia.
- When I find myself in times of trouble... When I find myself in times of trouble /
Mother Russia comes to me /
Speaking words of wisdom... /
covfefe! - You have to read this in Paul McCartney's voice When I find my tweets are causing trouble
Mother Russia comforts me
Tweeting words of wisdom
Covfefe - I think I got hacked by Russia... Mother Russia do no such thing.
Mother Russia is great.
I love Mother Russia. - In 1991, I broke up from my relationship with Mother Russia Her heart broke into 15 different pieces
- In normal election, you control who you put in power In Mother Russia, Putin power controls you
- In most countries you have to get voted into power. But in Mother Russia power votes you in.
- A teacher in the Soviet union yells at her student - who's your father? **Stalin** says the child.
Who's your mother?
**Mother Russia**
What do you want to be when you grow up?
**An orphan!**
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Mother Russia One Liners
Which mother russia one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mother russia? I can suggest the ones about in russia and russian women.
- In Mother Russia... They're are called wePhones.
- In Mother Russia Prostitutes pay YOU!
- In Mother Russia, the government doesn't tax you, you ta- wait a second
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Mother Russia Jokes
What funny jokes about mother russia you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean russian people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mother russia pranks.
A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.
She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."
Vladimir Putin visits a school...
He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". "Mother Russia of course!", says the boy. Putin then asks a girl: "who is your true father?". "You, great president!", replies the girl. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". The quiet kid thinks for a moment and says: "An orphan!".
my favorite joke I heard in school
Rudolph was a child adopted from Russia. One day Rudolph and his brother are arguing if it is raining or snowing outside. Rudolph says it raining and his brother says its snowing. They decide to ask their mother what she thinks. Their mother says its raining. When his brother asked why she agreed with Rudolph she said "Because Rudolph the red knows rain dear."
A mother is helping her son revise for a geography exam
She asks "What's the Capital of Germany?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then asks "What's the Capital of France?"
He replies "Berlin."
She asks "What's the Capital of Russia?"
He replies "Berlin."
She finally asks "What's the Capital of Poland?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then hugs him and says "I'm sure you'll do great, Adolf"
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!
***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:
Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
Mother Russia
In Soviet Russia, if you arrive to work late, you're shot for being lazy and leeching off the work of your peers.
If you arrive to work early, you are shot for trying to show up the work of peers and appear better than them.
If you arrive to work on time, you are shot for having a foreign watch.
Communist Russia wins the space race
Teacher: Ivan, tell us, who was the first country to land people on the Moon?
Ivan: It was our mother Russia, Comrade!
Teacher: Very good, Ivan! And what did the first Russian cosmonauts find on the Moon?
Ivan: The American flag, Comrade!
In Mother Russia
A man asked his Russian friend: "Is it true that in Russia, sometimes you can see polar bears walking on the roads?"
His friend replied: "No, no my friend, that is completely untrue. Back in Mother Russia, there is absolutely no such thing as "roads"."
a Russian, an American and an Japanese are on a plane
The plane runs out of gas and for it to land safely two of them will have to jump out.
The Japanese yells "For Japan!" And jumps out of the plane.
The American and Russian look at each other.
Then the Russian yells "For mother Russia!" and pushes the American of the plane.
A Mexican, a Russian, and a Texan sitting at a bar
The Mexican has a bottle of tequila and says "in Mexico there is plenty of tequila" takes a big swig out of the bottle and throws it in the air and shoots the bottle. The Russian sitting next to him hears him and says " in mother russia we have plenty of v**..." takes a swig out of his bottle of v**... and throws it in the air and shoots it. The Texan sees this and is drinking an Alamo beer. So he says" in Texas we have plenty of beer." Takes a drink and shoots the Mexican and says "but in Texas we have plenty of Mexicans i tell you h'wut"
A woman just had twins, a boy and a girl, and she hasn't decided yet what to name them.
Coincidentally her long lost uncle from Russia has just come into town. The mother decides, because it's such a special occasion she should let her uncle name them. After hearing the news, the uncle stating 'what a special honor it is,' decides he needs some time to think of the perfect names. Finally he comes back with the 'perfect names'. First he says 'the girl will be called Denise'. 'Wow that's a great name' the new mother says, feeling at first a little apprehensive about what he might name them. 'What's the boys name?' 'Obviously' says the uncle 'he will be called Denephew.'