Mother Nature Jokes
53 mother nature jokes and hilarious mother nature puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mother nature that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mother Nature Short Jokes
Short mother nature jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mother nature humour may include short mother earth jokes also.
- Why is it called Mother Nature? Because if it were called Father Nature it would be a lot more predictable.
- He was a natural born thief. He had his mothers looks, his father's nose, and the doctor's watch
- I guess Mother Nature watches a lot of Oprah. Because it looks like everybody gets a hurricane.
- My mother told me that losers don't deserve to be commended. So, naturally, I took down the confederate flag from the porch.
- Weather man "it's impossible to have every season all in one week" Mother Nature: "Hold my beer"
- When you're morbidly obese, you get shut down by lots of people. But the worst is when it comes from parents... MOTHER NATURE AND FATHER TIME.
- What do mother nature and a boy with dandruff have in common? They can both let it snow whenever they want
- What did Mother Nature say when she formed the universe? I'm taking matter into my own hands.
- How do you get a GOP politician to care about the environment? You refer to 'Mother Nature' as 'Fetus Nature'.
- What happened to the ents after they tried to kill Mother Nature? They were charged with Treason.
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Mother Nature One Liners
Which mother nature one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mother nature? I can suggest the ones about nature and nature tree.
- When does soil get rich? When mother nature makes it rain.
- How does mother nature give birth? With a sea-section
- My mother died suddenly from natural causes. I strangled her with kelp.
- Why did Mother Nature trip the last day of summer? To make it Fall.
- A son is thankful so naturally... A mother is angry
This goes out to my psat boys - What is mother nature's favorite drink? Root Beer
- My nature loving mother recently acquired some money she wants to invest...
- "So I was in the toilet, on the phone with Mother Nature... It was a collect call."
- Mother nature needs to learn how to keep it in her plants Said everyone with allergies
- Why did the sky rain blood? Mother nature was on her period.
- What do they call it when mother nature and father time have s**...? The big bang.
- Who's a hippie's favorite m**...? Mother nature
Rib-Tickling Mother Nature Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about mother nature you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean when nature calls jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mother nature pranks.
Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon.
Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there.
The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice.
The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there.
The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens.
The groom calls his mother back.
She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course.
The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind.
He calls his mother a third time.
Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!"
The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl."
Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister."
This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says, "You can date whoever you want. He isn't your father!"
Son: "Dad, I fell in love and want to date this girl"
Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister."
This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says, "You can date whoever you want. He isn't your father!"
I Peed A Bee-Bee
So this mom was baking a cake for her youngest son and as she was taking the batter across the room to show her husband, she accidently bumped the gun cabinet and a box of bee-bees fell into the mix. Frantically the mother got a strainer and got out as many bee-bees as she could. Deciding that she got all of them she baked the cake and got it ready for the guests. After the party she hadn't heard any complaints so she was sure she had got all of them. A couple hours later her youngest son comes running out saying,"momma momma momma, guess what i did?"
"what?" says the mother
"i peed a bee-bee!"
the mother thinking quick says, "oh thats natural son" and she shoos him away.
A little later her middle son comes up and says, "momma momma momma, guess what i did?"
"what?" says the mother
"i peed a bee-bee!"
"oh thats natural son" and she shoos him away
a couple hours later her oldest son comes out saying, "momma momma momma, guess what i did?!"
"i know i know, you peed a bee-bee, thats natural son" says the mom
"No!!! I was jacking off in the garage and I shot the dog!!!"
A Native American boy walks up to the the Chief of his tribe...
He says to the Chief "Great Chief, where do the people of our tribe get their names?" the chief replies, "Well, each infant is given a name by their father seconds before the mother gives birth. You see, what the father does is observe the nature around them and let its spirit inspire them." The boy says "I see, this makes some sense to me." and the Chief explains to the boy, "You're friend, Soaring-eagle, received his name when his father saw an eagle fly directly above the hut that his wife was giving birth in." The boy still looked slightly confused, so the Chief asked "Why exactly are you seeking this information. Did you want to know where you're name originated, Twodogsfucking?"
The "Age" of Dinosaurs
A woman takes her children to a museum of natural history. As they gaze with wonder at a skeleton of *Tyrannosaurus rex*, she asks a museum guide, a bright-eyed young fellow, "can you tell me how old it is?"
The museum guide responds, "well, ma'am, that particular skeleton is 65 million and 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days old."
"Amazing!" the mother replies. "How can you know that so well?"
"Well," replied the museum guide eagerly, "when I started working here, I asked a scientist working on it the same question. He told me it was 65 million years old. And that was 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days ago."
Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!
Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"
father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.
Sandra is actually your sister.
"The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that.Angela is also your sister."
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,
he went straight to his mother crying.
Son:"Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whoever you want. Dont listen to him He isn't your father."
"That's no excuse not to write to your mother."
p**... and Maggy Dunn send their son, Neely, from Ireland to the United States to find a job and build a dream career. Off Neely sails on a freighter, earning his way across the Atlantic as a deckhand.
Upon arriving in the U.S., Neely sends his mam and pap a letter, explaining the glorious sights and sounds he beheld. As Neely searches for a job, his letters dwindle in frequency and, before long, cease altogether.
p**... 'n Maggie are concerned, naturally, and send their second son, Liam, to the States to find Neely and see if he was okay. Off Liam sails.
Liam is so overwhelmed by the vastness of the U.S. that he has no idea how to find his brother. So he walks up to the nearest structure, knocks on the door, and asks, "Are ye Neely Dunn?"
"Yes," comes the reply from the porta-p**..., "but I've run out of paper."
"*That's no excuse not to write to yer mother!*"
GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.
God enjoys a good laugh!!
(found on my FB newsfeed)
**There were three good arguments that Jesus was Black:**
* He called everyone brother;
* He liked Gospel;
* He didn't get a fair trial.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:**
* He went into His Father's business;
* He lived at home until he was 33;
* He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:**
* He talked with His hands;
* He had wine with His meals;
* He used olive oil.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:**
* He never cut His hair;
* He walked around barefoot all the time;
* He started a new religion.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:**
* He was at peace with nature;
* He ate a lot of fish;
* He talked about the Great Spirit.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:**
* He never got married;
* He was always telling stories;
* He loved green pastures.
**But the most compelling evidence of all - three proofs that Jesus was a woman:**
* He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food;
* He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it;
* And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.
Can I get an AMEN!!
A Mother-in-Law decides to test her three Son-in- laws for their good nature.
For this she goes for a walk by a river with the first son in law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning he finds a Toyota corolla parked outside his house with note : from your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son in law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning he also finds a Toyota corolla parked outside his house with note : from your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by a river with the third son in law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away. Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with note : from your Father In Law!
The Mystery of Childbirth
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."
The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
So my Dad walked in on me making out with my girlfriend
I was naturally very embarrased, as I didn't want my parents to know I had a girlfriend and make a big deal about it. But my Dad said to me, "Don't worry son, I won't tell your mother, this will be our little secret".
The next day I'm eating breakfast with my family. My Mom says to me, "Son, where did that hickey on your neck come from?". In response I say, "This is me and Dad's little secret".
Afterwards, everyone at the table got really quiet.
Joe was heading towards the end of a round of golf...
...when hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden, p**...! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She yelled, I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?
Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life.
Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.
As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!
Then p**...! she was gone!
After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you?
Bill yells back, I'm over here in the pussywillows.
Joe shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, BILL. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING !
Mother in law 's test
A Mother -in -Law decides to test her three Sons- in- law for their good nature.
For this she goes for a walk by a river with the first son in law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning he finds a Toyota corrola parked outside his house with note : from your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son in law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning he also finds a Toyota corrola parked outside his house with note : from your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by a river with the third son in law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away. Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with note : from your Father In Law!
So a family of moles wakes up one morning to the smell of pancakes...
The father mole heads up to check things out. From the entrance to their den, the smell is a lot stronger, but being naturally skittish, he stays in the doorway. "This smells great!" he said. "It smells like pancakes and warm syrup!"
Her curiosity piqued, the mother mole joins the father in the door. "How lovely! It smells like waffles and hot jam! "
The baby is trying to grab a spot at the door as well, but his parents are blocking the whole entry. After a couple minutes of futility, the baby mole sits down and says "Well, all I smell is Molasses."
Before John was a traveling salesmen
Before John was a traveling salesman he worked door to door on foot. He actually came from an upper middle class family but had a healthy work ethic and a humble yet dull nature from aristocratic inbreeding a few generations back..
It was his birthday and his eccentric mother had told John he could have only one of the two presents she bought for him and she would return the other. After cake , John was led out to the front of the house where he saw a beautiful new dark blue four door sedan. The other choice was a fine black stallion of superior breeding . John looked carefully at both options then yelled Gimme the Karma
After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy,
the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age, the neighbor said. Sexuality?! the mother yelled. He took out her appendix!
An old Businessman and his young Model ex-wife
were fighting over the custody of their 3-year-old son.
The young mother protested that since she brought the kid into this world,
she had a natural right to the custody of him.
The judge asked the businessman to explain his side of the case.
After a long moment of silence, the old businessman rose from his chair and said,
"Judge, when I put money into a Vending Machine and a Snickers Bar comes out,
does it belong to me or the machine?"
It's only natural
My wife was in labour when the nurse said it was time to push.
She gave it everything she had, until a f**..., that from sound and stench, had obviously followed through. She was mortified.
"Don't worry," i said, patting her head. "I've heard this kind of thing is perfectly natural during birth. Isn't that right nurse?"
"Yes," said the nurse gagging, "But it's usually the mother not the father!.."
