Moth Jokes
150 moth jokes and hilarious moth puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about moth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Ready for some chuckle-inducing jokes about moths? From Norm Moth to Moth Lamp, Chippy to the Pediatrist and Psychologist, this article has something for everyone. Read on to get your fill of moth humor!
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Funniest Moth Short Jokes
Short moth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The moth humour may include short monster jokes also.
- How many moths does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know.
(Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage) - I woke up this morning and my bedside light had turned into a moth... That's the last time I ever buy a larva lamp…
- How many moths does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know but they keep trying anyway.
- [In a seahorse home] Son: Dad? Dad: Yes?
Son: Happy M-
Dad: DON'T
Son: Moth-
Dad: STOP
Son: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
*Dad bangs head on desk* - What do you get when you hold a mothball in your left hand and a mothball in your right hand? A rather excited moth
- Theoretically a goat can get impregnated by a moth. Scientists have never attempted the experiment however, as they don't want to create more goth kids.
- Jimi Hendrix's hairstyle attracted many women like moth to flame. It was like an Afrodisiac.
- TIL crickets only do their iconic "yelling" chirp in the presence of wild moths. Unfortunately, my cricket has none. He has no moth and he must scream.
- Scientists had heard rumours of a new species of butterfly in London... But it turned out to be an Urban Moth
- A moth flys into a podiatrist's office The doc says "hey moth why'd u fly in here"
The moth says "well my feet hurt"
Share These Moth Jokes With Friends
Moth One Liners
Which moth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with moth? I can suggest the ones about worm and meteor.
- How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, a male and a female
- Why didn't the butterfly go to the dance? Because it was a moth ball.
- So a moth walks into a bar... ... which is odd because moths can fly.
- Why did the moth kill the other moth? He was a member of the Mothia.
- A moth walks into a church He found the light.
- What do you call a moth that is bigger than a bird ? Behemoth
- Why do moths fly with their legs spread? Have you ever seen the size of mothballs?
- What do gay moths eat? Mothballs
- What's the moth's favourite car? Lamporghini
- What do you call a moth in a supermarket? I can't believe it's not butterfly.
- What is the biggest moth called? A mammoth.
- A moth and a firefighter walk into a bar... It was alight.
- What do you get when you have a mothball in each hand? One happy big-assed moth!
- Why did the moth stick to the bride's face? Because she was *GLOWING*
- Moths Q: How do you know when a moth farts? A: It flies in a straight line.
Moth Lamp Jokes
Here is a list of funny moth lamp jokes and even better moth lamp puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Am i a lamp ? Because all moth-ers are attracted to me.
- A moth walks into a bar... A moth walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what can i get you, moth?" The moth says "large lamp"
- What prehistoric animal loves lamps? Mam-moths
- He was a moth... She was a lamp... Can I make it any more obvious?
- When the lamp is turned on The moths are too
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Moth Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about moth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean monkey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make moth pranks.
My mother used to tuck me in every night
She always wanted a girl :(
What did little Johnny's mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?
She grounded him.
John's mother in-law comes for a visit. So, how long will you stay,mom?
As long as i'm welcomed. Oh, that's too bad, you should at least stay for a cup of coffee
So there is a mother and her daughter sitting on the plane.
They haven't taken off yet and are still on the runway. The daughter, who is pretty young, say four or five, looks out the window and gets to thinking....
"Mommy. If big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens, then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the mom, she's hungover and jet lagged.
"aw, baby, just go ask the stewardess"
So the daughter gets up to ask the flight attendant.
"Hey stewardess lady, if big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the stewardss says "did your mother tell you to come ask me this?" The girl nods.
"well, you see, sweetheart, this is JetBlue. And we always pull out on time. That's why there's no baby airplanes. Go ask your mom about that."
If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose...
would you go to lunch or a movie?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mother told me this about 3 years ago.
Two condoms are walking down the street. They happen to walk past a gay bar. One stops, looks at the other, and says, "I don't know about you but I feel like getting s**...-faced."
Mothman
So a man is out late at night, walking to his doctors office. He gets there and knocks on the door. The doctor comes out and asks the man why he came so late. The man responds by saying:
''Doc, i'm sorry to be bothering you at such a late hour, but I think that I may be turning into a moth!"
"A moth! You don't need to see me, you need to see a psychiatrist!" says the doctor
"Well, I was on my way, but I noticed that your light was on!"
A mother of a boy walks into the school nurse's office to pick up her son...
She sees her son standing nervously off to one side of the office. His mother walks over to the nurse's desk to sign him out of school. She queries the nurse:
"What was he complaining of? He seems fine!"
The nurse responds: "He had a terrible cough when he came in."
The mother, suspecting her son is faking it, asks the nurse: "Well, what did you give him to make him so much better all of a sudden?"
"I gave him a laxative," replied the nurse.
"A laxative?!" the mother exclaims.
"Yep. Look at him; he's afraid to cough."
My mother told me this one...
One day a lonely woman decided to call the dating service. They asked her what she wanted in a man. She replied "I want a man who won't hit me, I want a man who won't leave me, and I want a great lover!" They said ok he will be there in one hour. So the woman gets ready for her date, and an hour later she hears the doorbell ring. She goes to the door but no one is there. When all of a sudden she hears "down here!". She looks down and sees a man with no arms and no legs lying on the doormat. She asks "can i help you?" He says "I am from the dating service." But she does not believe him. He sees this and says "just tell me what you want in a man. She says "I want a man who won't hit me". "Lady I ain't got any arms". "I want a man who wont leave me". "Lady I ain't got no legs". "And I want a great lover" she says. To which he replies "lady, how do you think I rang the doorbell?"
I was having a look...
In my mothers bedroom the other day and I found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in her wardrobe. I couldn't believe it... My mothers a superhero!!!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 mothers-to-be in antenatal class...
The first one says; "I think I'm having a boy because my husband was on top when we conceived" The woman next to her replies "I think I'm having a daughter because I was on top" The woman at the end starts panicking and says "I think I'm having a puppy"
"Mother Superior," said the novice nun . . .
"I have to confess that last night I committed the sin of fornication. Six times."
The Mother Superior thought a minute, then sliced up a lemon and handed it to the novice.
"Here, my child," she said. "Take and eat all of this."
"Will this absolve me of my sin?" asked the novice.
"No," said the Mother Superior. "But it will get that smile off your face!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A groaner just for you...
Q. What do you have if you are holding a mothball in your right hand and a mothball in your left hand?
A. A **VERY** large moth...
Why is your mother like the universe?
They both create gravity waves when they bang.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mother superior is doing the orientation ...
of the new nun. The neighbourhood is rough and so she thought she would put some hypotheticals. "What would you do if you were walking alone at night and got cornered by a man on who demanded to have s**... with you?"
"Well, I would ask him to drop his pants." replied the new nun coolly
Flabbergasted the Mother pressed "And what then?"
"Well, then I would hike up my habit above my knees." replied the nun, still calm.
Aghast at this the Mother could not but ask "And what then?"
"Well, I would start running. I can run a lot faster with my habit hiked up than the man whose trousers are at his ankles."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother and son were washing dishes while...
...the father and daughter were watching TV in the family room.
Suddenly, there was a c**... of breaking dishes, then complete silence.
The girl looked at her dad and said, "It was Mom."
"How do you know?"
"She didn't say anything."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother walks in on her son playing with his privates...
"You really like those new toy soldiers, don't you?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mother walked in my room right as I was about to start m**....
My pants were around my ankles and I was scared to death. I almost had a s**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a mother who had three daughters...
...one day the first daughter walks up and asks,
"Mommy, why am I named Rose?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then the second walks up and says,
"Mommy, why am I named Daisy?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then third walks up and says,
"DURRUGFLARGLERDAAARGGGH!!!"
"It's ok Cinderblock. I still love you."
My Mother in Law fell down a wishing well
I was amazed. I never knew they worked.
A mother catches her 12-year-old son smoking in the backyard...
"Jimmy, I can't believe this! Smoking is terrible for you, and you're so young!" Jimmy replies, "Don't worry mom, I only smoke when I'm drunk."
My mother took me to the symphony when I was a child..
But we had to leave because of all the sax and violins.
A guy walked into a dentist's office...
A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guys replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist says, "Well then what are you doing here?"
And the guy says, "Your light was on."
A Mother, her daughter, and a bowl of olives...
The mother takes an olive, puts it in her mouth, goes, "mmmmm...", the daughter tries one for the first time, goes "ewww...", mother eats another, again, goes "mmmm...", her daughter tries yet another, then begins to cry. Her mother asks, "why are you crying", her daughter says "you're getting all the good ones"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother has two daughters and a son.
A mother has two daughters and a son. One day her first daughter comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I named Rose?", to which she replies: "That's because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head".
Her second daughter later comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I called Petal?", to which she answers: "That's because when you were a baby a petal landed on your head".
Finally, her son approaches her and says: "BLUH NAH BUH BUH BLUH", and the mother says: "Shut up, Fridge".
A mother called the police on her 6 month old baby for not taking a nap.
He was resisting a rest.
My mother always said, "Pick your clothes up off the floor, I'm not your maid."
When I went to college the dorm had a maid who told us, "Pick your clothes up off the floor, I'm not your mother."
Got my mother in law a cemetery plot for Christmas once, and the next year didn't buy her anything. When she asked me why I didn't buy a gift for her I said.....
... because you still haven't used the one I got you last year.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother has 3 kids
A mother has 3 kids.
The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"
The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"
The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."
"SHUT UP BRICK"
So MotherTeresa is in heaven, but...
she notices that Princess Diana has a bigger halo than her. So Mother Teresa goes to God and asks why Princess Diana has a larger halo. God laughs and responds, "Oh, that's not a halo, that's the steering wheel."
My grandmother told me this joke, all credit to her.
A mother of twins went into labour and passed out.
A mother of twins went into labour and passed out. She woke up hours later to find her (not so bright) sister carrying her twins. Nervously the new mother asked her sister whether the children has been named. To which the sister replied yes. The new mother shocked and scared then asked the sister what she named the children to which she replied she named the niece Denise. The mother feeling a little better then asked what she had name the boy to which she replied Denephew.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother wakes her son in the morning
'Get up, son, you have to get to school!'
'But Mum, why do I have to go? I hate it!'
'Tell me two reasons why you think you shouldn't go.'
'Firstly: all the kids hate me. Secondly: the teachers hate me even more.'
'Hmph, excuses! C'mon, go get ready!'
'Tell me two reasons why you think I should go!'
'Firstly: you're 47. Secondly: you're the headmaster!'
My mother and father separated last year
My mother and father separated last year and my father recently started seeing someone and it's been very hard for me. There are two major issues I have with his new partner.
He's black.
A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out.
A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out. Whenever In was in, Out was out. And whenever In was out, Out was in.
One day Out was in but she couldn't find In anywhere. She looked everywhere for In; up, down, left, right, but she could not find In. Finally she asked Out to find In, and Out went right to where In was hiding. When the mother skunk asked Out how he knew where to find In, he replied
"Easy. Instinct."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Mother in law said to me: "I'll dance on your grave, when you're dead"
"Good!" I said, "I'm being buried at sea."
A mother asks her son how things are going with his girlfriend. He replies, "It didn't work out."
"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that," says his mother. "What happened?"
The son looks confused.
"Huh? I just told you. She didn't exercise enough."
My mother never attempted to wean me off of breast feeding. Just cut me off entirely one day...
...as if that first year of college wasn't difficult enough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My own Mother called me a 'Son of a b**...'.
Then she told me I was adopted :(
Johnny's mother called his father at work...
"Johnny just swallowed a nickle and spit up two dimes, what do I do??"
"Keep feeding him nickles!"
A mother was tucking her son in one night
she really wanted a daughter
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mother Teresa lived to 87. Do you know how much s**... she had in all those years?
Nun.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother cleaning her 12 year old's bedroom
A mum is cleaning her 12year old son's bedroom and finds a load of b**... gears and f**... magazines.
She asks her husband, "What do I do?"
He says, "I'm not sure, but whatever you do, don't s**... him!"
A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guy replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist asks, "Well, then what are you doing here?"
The guy says, "Your light was on."
Your mother is a 10
On the Richter scale
When she walks
My mother used to always say "give your food a rinse before you eat it."
Lovely woman. Terrible sandwiches.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mother was in a car c**... but luckily she was okay...
WAS okay, she's dead now.
A mother takes her three son's to enroll in school. The teacher asks.
A mother takes her three son's to enroll in school. The teacher asks.
Teacher: What are your son's names?
Lady: This boy's name is Leroy, this other boy's name is Leroy, and Leroy here is my third son's name.
Teacher: Isn't it confusing having all three boy's named the same?
Lady: Oh no, you see when it's time for lunch I just holler out the door, Leroy! it's time for lunch, and they all come a runnin. When it's time for dinner I just holler out the door, Leroy! it's time for dinner and they all come a runnin.
Teacher: Ok, so what do you do when you want a specific boy?
Lady: Oh, well then I just holler out their last name.
My mother took to me one of those buildings where they take the mentally ill.
A church.
A man walks into a psychologist's office
The psychologist says, "Tell me about yourself?"
The man replies, "It is my deeply held belief that I am in fact a moth."
The psychologist is a little surprised, but being a professional, he thinks for a moment and says, "Well, I am sure I can help you overcome that."
Indignant, the man shoots back, "No way! I love being a moth, thank-you very much!"
"So why on Earth did you come in here?"
"Oh, well I was just passing by and I saw your light on..."
"Where's your mother in law?"
- "She's in the garden."
- "Where? I can't see her."
- "You have to dig a little."
My mother always told me: "If you want a job done well, do it yourself"
That theory didn't pan out too well with my last surgery.
My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate."
I told her, "Oh yea... Just you wait."
What did the mother rope say to her child?
Don't be knotty.
My mother-in-law fell down our well last week but she is fine
she stopped crying for help 2 days ago
My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brother's surprise party.
That's when I realized he was her favourite twin.
I look more like my mother than my father.
He doesn't look like her at all.
Mother and son in Grocery store.
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained.
"I'm looking for the seal." - collected
A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.
She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."
A mother finds out she has cancer
A mother and daughter visit the doctor to get the results of the mom's pap-smear.
"It's stage-4 cervical cancer. You have 1 month left", the doctor says.
The mother is devastated. She gathers all her girlfriends for one last brunch.
At the brunch she announces, "Bad news, the doctor said I have 1 month to live. I have AIDS."
Her friends are shocked. They offer their condolences and hurriedly depart.
"But mom", the daughter protests "You have cancer. Why did you tell them you have AIDS?"
Mom replies, "Because I don't want any of them sleeping with your father."
When my mother died all my father said was, "Cough, fatigue, fever."
He's a man of flu words.
My mother-in-law came into work at lunch time today, and I must admit unlike other men, I was genuinely pleased to see her.
By the way I'm an undertaker.
My mother died two weeks ago and my son hasn't attended English classes since.
I think he's missing gramma.
My mother-in-law told me I had poor posture when standing.
I stand corrected.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I took my mother in law out today
I love being a s**...
A mother and her son are sitting in an airplane.
The kid looks up and asks, "Mommy? If big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"
Mom thinks to herself that he is too young and she doesn't want to get into this so she tells the boy, "Go ask the flight attendant; maybe she can answer that for you."
So, he walks up and asks, "Ma'am, if big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"
She had overheard the mother's attempt to pass this off and replies, "Tell your mom that I said it's because Southwest airlines always pulls out on time and have her explain that to you..."
My mother in law has gone a bit off the rails.
Hopefully the train still gets her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mother-in-law
Oh, I didn't expect you at work today Mr. Brundy, isn't it your mother-in-law's f**... today?
Well you know how it is.Work first, then fun.
My mother in law was getting beaten up by four guys
and my wife shouted "Go Help", to which I replied "four should be enough".
Mother: I am ashamed of you. Fighting with your friend is a terrible thing to do.
Son: He threw a rock at me. So I threw one at him.
Mother: When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to see me.
Son: What good would that have done? I know that my aim is much better than yours.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother and a son walk into a doctor's office
Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.
The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become s**...."
The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?"
"Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year."
"Ah-ha! That's it!"
"So it was the vaccines then?"
"No, it's genetic."
My mother in law complained that the thermometer I gave her (which she hung in a very sunny spot) wasn't showing an accurate temperature.
So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
Mother, mother, ...
... how come other children need hours to solve Rubik's cube but I do it in just a few seconds?
- Well, sweetie, it's because you're color blind.
My mother always said "You can't make everyone happy".
Might explain why she lost her job as a therapist.
Mothers on Facebook. Full time mummy is not a job.
Only Tutankhamun can claim that...
Mother Superior is in the convent, when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and is shocked to see two leprechauns standing at the threshold, hats in hand. The first leprechaun speaks, "Mother Superior, would you be having any leprechaun nuns in this convent?"
"No, my son. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent."
"And mother, do you have any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"
"No my son, I don't believe there's a single leprechaun nun in the whole church!"
The first leprechaun rounds on his companion and shouts, "AH TOL' YE YOU'D BEEN FOOKIN' A PENGUIN!"
