Motel Jokes
61 motel jokes and hilarious motel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about motel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make sure to check out these hilarious motel jokes! From jokes about Bates Motel to funny puns about Motel 6, this article offers some of the best laughs about lodging and accommodations - perfect for a chuckle when you're checking into your next inn.
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Funniest Motel Short Jokes
Short motel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The motel humour may include short holiday inn jokes also.
- Bill Cosby enters in a bar ... ... i don't know what happens next because I suddenly woke up in a motel's room.
- A year ago I left home and since, I've only been living at guesthouses and motels. Today I celebrated my inn dependence.
- In New Orleans she was 'Honeychile', the sweetest of the bunch But on my job's expense account, she's 'gas, motel and lunch'.
- So there's this witch that owns a motel and she'll give you a discount room if you consent to her experimenting on you... The sign outside says, Come on in and rest for a spell .
- Chicken and egg check in to the motel Know this one?
They get busy, then kick back. Egg lights up a cigarette. Chicken says, 'Well that settles that.' - Called the front desk of our motel and told him "I've gotta leak in the sink." He said "That's OK, just rinse it out when you're done."
- How does Norman Bates get to the Bates Motel? He takes the psycho path! (I'll see myself out...)
- Well, there was only one thing I could say when I walked into the wrong motel room answering a Craigslist ad. .
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Wrong sub - Some guy got stabbed in a motel near me last week. I guess you could call it a bled and breakfast.
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Motel One Liners
Which motel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with motel? I can suggest the ones about hotel and hotel room.
- If someone wants to say the word "motel" backwards Just letom.
- Q: Why does Motel 6 "keep the light on for you" A: So the roaches won't come out.
- They called it the Fiddle Motel..... ....but it was a vile inn.
- I found the perfect hotel between a Motel 6 and a Super 8. It's called the Meaty Inn.
- When does a motel become a hotel? When your mom stays in it.
- Motel 6 is a favorite among moths. They always leave a light on for them.
- Troy Barnes no longer visits motels. The last room didn't have Abed.
:) - What do teens and cheap motels have in common? Hormones
- My wife thinks she's Motel 6. She keeps leaving the light on.
- Don't ever go to Bates Motel... a PSYCO lives there!
- what did one valve say to the other valve as he left the motel 6..... Intake it easy.
- What's the difference between a motel and a hotel? One got mo h**...'s.
- Why does Motel 6 leave the light on for you? It keeps the roaches in hiding.
- It was a motel where married men would take their side-chicks. A h**...-tel, if you will.
Hilarious Fun Motel Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about motel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lodge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make motel pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest and a rabbi are stuck on an elevator.
They strike up a friendly conversation and after a while, the priest asks the rabbi, "Tell me, did you ever, in a moment of weakness, partake in the eating of bacon."
The rabbi said, "Yes. I was staying at a motel where no one knew me and it was on the breakfast buffet."
The priest nods, empathetically. The rabbi then asks the priest a question. "Did you ever...you know...sleep with a woman?"
The priest replied, "Yes, in a period of weakness during my first year in seminary. I met a young woman at a cafe and one thing led to another and, well, yes. We had s**...."
"I see," the rabbi nodded, knowingly, before adding. "It's a heckuva lot better than bacon, isn't it?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest and a rabbi are stuck in an elevator .
They strike up a friendly conversation and after a while, the priest asks the rabbi, "Tell me, did you ever, in a moment of weakness, partake in the eating of bacon."
The rabbi said, "Yes. I was staying at a motel where no one knew me and it was on the breakfast buffet."
The priest nods, empathetically. The rabbi then asks the priest a question. "Did you ever...you know...do anything?"
The priest replied, "Yes, in a period of weakness during my first year in seminary. I was feeling lonely and down and well... I m**...."
"I see," the rabbi nodded, knowingly, before adding. "Well that sure beats meat."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala wakes up next to a p**.......
The koala tries to sneak out of the motel room before the p**... wakes up. As he opens the door, the protitute wakes up and says "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me yet". The koala refuses to pay, so the protitute says "let's look in a dictionary for the definition of p**...". The two proceed to look up the definition to find that it is 'someone who has s**... for money'. The Koala then flips a few pages back to the definition of koala, then walks out of the room. Confused, the protitute looks down at the page. The dictionary says 'Koala: An animal who eats bushes and leaves'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 Midgets' desperate Journey to have s**....
One night, 2 Midgets Jack & Jon decide to go & buy prostitutes & bring them to a motel.
"Have fun, I'll see you in the morning. " Jack says to Jon.
Jack goes inside and gets busy with his women but only last in s**... for 10 seconds. Next door Jack here's Jon repeating:
"1,2, up! 1,2, up,! 1,2, up!"
"At least he's having a good time. " says Jack and goes to sleep.
In the morning they met, Jon asks, "How was your night?"
"Terrible, I only lasted for 10 seconds. I heard you having a blast in there." Jack replied.
Jon then says, "A blast? I spent the whole night trying to get ON the bed! "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You Passionate
Guy I work with tells this story of working on the road, being hard up, and deciding to pick up this h**.... Of course she is not the classiest of broads and a little strung out. She gets in the car and they talk about going back to the motel room to party, but she wants to stop at the liquor store first. "Oh yeah, baby, no problem."
So they're driving down the road getting frisky and talking dirty and this girl is a freak. Squirming all around in her seat and rubbing her hands all up and down his leg and across his junk. She is n**.... She says, "Sugar, you passionate."
"Oh yeah! I'm passionate, alright. I am gonna do you so good, you're gonna have to pay me."
"No sugar! You passionate! You pash'n the liquor sto!"
Good Sunday
On their first date, a man asked his companion if she'd like a drink with dinner.
"Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said.
Later, he offered her a cigarette.
"Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said again.
On the drive home, he saw a motel. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he asked if she wanted to stop in there.
"Okay," his date replied.
"What will you tell your Sunday school class? he asked, shocked.
"The same thing I always tell them. 'You don't have to drink or smoke to have a good time.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One hundred year old man propositions a p**......
A 100 year old man propositions a p**... on the street. She is doubtful he can even get it up but she takes him to a motel room, undresses and hops in bed.
The old man shuffles to the foot of the bed and pulls out a cotton ball and a c**.... He tears the cotton ball into four equal pieces, methodically putting one piece in each nostril, and one piece in each ear.
Before he puts the last piece of cotton in his ear, the p**..., asks him, Honey, why did you put that cotton in your nose and ears?
The old man put the last bit of cotton in his ear and started strapping on the c**... and then replied to her question, There are few things I can't abide, one is the smell of burning rubber, and the other is the sound of a screaming woman!
comment: this may be a common joke. I don't tell them much or collect them. It's 20 years old at least. Heard it when I was 17.
Revenge
Danny discovers his wife is cheating with another guy, so he goes to the guy's wife and tells her about it.
"I know what we will do," she says. "Let's take revenge on them."
So they go to a motel and take revenge.
After 10 mins, she says, "Let's take more revenge," and they take revenge again.
So like this, they kept taking more & more revenge...
After 5 times, Danny was lying spent, and she said, "Lets take revenge again." Danny said,"I cant... I have no more hard feelings left !!!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The craziest dream
Three young guys traveling together walk into a motel and find out there is only one room left and that room has only one bed. Since it's the only motel in town, the guys decide to s**... it up for the night and share the bed. They get to their room, squeeze in, and quickly fall asleep.
The next morning, the guy on the left side of the bed wakes up and says, "I had the craziest dream. I dreamt I was getting the best h**... of my life."
The guy on the right side says, "That's amazing, I had the same dream!"
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "Wow, I had the weirdest dream! I was cross-country skiing really, really fast..."
A deaf couple are on a road trip
My deaf professor told me this joke (in sign language) in college:
A deaf couple are on a road trip. The wife signs to the husband that she is tired, and they should look for a motel for the night. The husband pulls over into the next motel, and they reserve a room.
In the middle of the night, the husband wakes up with a splitting headache. He signs to his wife his wife if they have any ibuprofen. The wife groggily replies to check the glove compartment in the car.
The man, half asleep, gets out of bed, walks out to the car, and finds the pills in the glove compartment.
He gets out of the car to make his way back to the room, but immediately forgets which room is his. So he gets back into the car and SLAMS on the horn and holds it.
Little by little, every room in the motel turns on their light. All but one. That's his room!
Motel Deal
My wife and I were travelling cross country when we stopped in a tiny town for the night. There was only one motel.
I walked into the office and asked the clerk, "How much for one night?"
He answered, "Sixty dollars."
"Sixty dollars?" I shouted. "Don't you have anything cheaper?"
"Sure," he said. "You can get a room for half price if you don't mind making your own bed."
I agreed that this was fine.
So they put us in a room with a pile of lumber and a hammer and some nails...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old guy walks into a church...
"- Father, I'm 92 years old, am married to a 70 year old wife and have 3 children, 7 grandchildren and 6 great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I gave a ride to 2 young college girls; they were beautiful, nice, modern, you know? After a little chit chat we stop by a motel. I had s**... with each one of them 3 times."
The priest remains silent for a few moments, but seeing that the old guy doesn't have anything else to say, he asks:
"- Are you regretful of your sins?"
"- What sins?"
"- What kind of catholic are you?!"
"- Catholic? Me? I'm an atheist."
"- Then why come here and tell me that story?"
"- I'm telling everybody."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two midgets decide to get h**......
They went to a motel with their ladies and get two rooms. The first midget is really embarrassed because he cannot get an e**.... His confidence was hurt even more when he heard his friend in the room saying "1, 2, 3, push!" Over and over again.
The next morning he was talking to his friend over breakfast. He said "That was the most embarrassing thing ever. I couldn't get a hard on"
His friend responds "You think that is embarrassing, I couldn't get on the bed."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly man walks into a confessional...
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had s**... with each of them three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody .
So my black friend told me that he had a dream.....
Black friend: I have a dream and want to persue it.
Me: It would be better if you don't pursue it.
Black friend: Why do you say that?
Me: Because the last black guy who had a dream, got shot in a motel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly man walks into a confessional.
Man: I am 92 years old, had a wonderful wife of 70 years who recently passed away, many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two hitch-hiking college girls. We went to a motel where I had s**... with each of them three times.
Priest: Are you sorry for your sins?
Man: What sins?
Priest: What kind of a Catholic are you?
Man: I'm Jewish.
Priest: Why are you telling me all this?
Man: I'm 92 years old…I'm telling everybody!
A woman goes to the pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
The pharmacist looked stunned and couldn't believe what she had asked for but he was still curious.
"Why would you want to get cyanide?"
The women replied, "My husband has been having an affair and I want to poison him."
The pharmacist tried to reason with the woman, " I can't do this for you. I would lose my license and you and I would go to prison for this."
Then the woman reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband and a woman going into a motel. Upon closer inspection the woman in the picture was the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looks at the woman and says, "Why didn't you just say you had a prescription?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three friends are on a road trip and stop at a motel for the night.
Three friends are on a road trip and stop at a motel for the night. The receptionist tells them there is only 1 room available with 1 bed in it.
The guys are exhausted and just decide to share the bed. In the morning, the one who slept on the left side of the bed says "I just had the best dream last night, a hot girl was giving me a h**... and it felt so real". The one who slept on the right side says "That's weird, I had a similar dream."
They both turn to the friend who slept in the middle and ask him "What about you? Same dream?"
"Nah, I had a dream that I was skiing in the Alps"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A panda walks in a bar and asks the bartender if he knew any p**... around so he points to this lady sitting afar so he goes over and talks to her and both of them head to a motel... After they finish she asks him
"Arent you going to pay me?" The panda was surprised and asked her why... She told him to look up p**... and it clearly said (has s**... in exchange for money) the panda laughed and told her to look up panda and it said "eats bush and leaves"
A brunette and a blonde visit a motel
Before they go in, brunette warns her friend "Don't fill in your own address. Pick some European country. They won't know the difference.".
In the form brunette states her country of origin as "Hungary" while the blonde, trying to remain inconspicuous, writes "Thirsty".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
r**... Wedding
After the ceremony the new couple arrive at their honeymoon suite at the Motel 6 and the new bride says 'you will be careful won't you?'
The young hubby is a bit confused and asks 'Why?'
She explains that she is still a v**...
He throws his stuff back into his suitcase and storms out of the room.
At home his mother is surprised to see him back so early and asks 'what's up son?'
He says 'she's a v**... Maw'
The mother says 'you done did right boy… if she's not good enough for her family, she's not good enough for ours'
The body of an homosexual, existentialist fugitive was found in a motel 2 years after the case went cold.
Across an entire wall the words "How do they know" were scrawled, surrounded by places and names connected by bits of string.
The police investigated this, but they couldn't decipher it beyond the ravings of a madman.
The body was found in front of a computer after people at the motel reported a gunshot early in the morning.
Apparently he had browsing 4chan. The police tried to figure out what drove him to kill himself by checking his browser history, but couldn't get any leads. It wasn't until they looked at the comments that they figured out what drove him mad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my wife I'd take her to the movies after I got some s**......
So I called her from the motel and asked what she wanted to see.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was staying in a c**... motel. In the middle of the night a beautiful woman woke me up by pounding on the door and begging me to open it. I felt so bad...
... that I decided to let her out.
A married man goes to a motel with his lover
And all of a sudden finds his father-in-law's car in the parking lot. In an attempt to prank him, he keys the car all around. After that, he goes with his lover and stays a few hours at the motel. Later, he payes a visit to his father-in-law as a surprise, and finds him very upset.
-What's wrong?- the man asks, forcing himself not to laugh.
-Awful stuff-he replies- My daughter borrowed my car to go to church, and all of a sudden returned it keyed all around!
On their first date, a man asked his companion if she'd like a drink with dinner.
"Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said.
Later, he offered her a cigarette. "Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said again.
On the drive home, he saw a motel. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he asked if she wanted to stop in there.
"Okay," his date replied.
"What will you tell your Sunday school class?" he asked, shocked.
"The same thing I always tell them. 'You don't have to drink or smoke to have a good time.'"
Tommy discovered his wife was cheating with another guy
so he went to the guy's wife and told her about it.
"I know what we will do", she said,
"Let's take revenge on him."
So together they went to a motel and had revenge.
After 10 minutes, she said,"Let's have more revenge",
and they took revenge again.
After 5 times, Tommy was lying spent, and she said,"Lets take revenge again."
Tommy said, "let's forgive them...............
I have no more HARD feelings left !!!"
I finally caught her.
I jumped into a cab and asked the driver to follow my wife's car. From a safe distance, I saw her turn into the motel parking lot. I told the cabbie, "I'll pay you an extra $100 if you go in there and bring her out."
Without hesitating, he jumped out of the car and trotted to the motel. After a few minutes, during which I could hear a lot of commotion, he came back to the car, dragging a woman by the arm. "Hey, what gives?", I protested. "This isn't my wife!" "I know, she's mine. I'll be right back with yours."
