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Most Complicated Jokes

128 most complicated jokes and hilarious most complicated puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about most complicated that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Most Complicated Short Jokes

Short most complicated jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The most complicated humour may include short complicated jokes also.

  1. Avril Lavigne could have just called her song Skater boy instead of Sk8er Boi. Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
  2. A black guy and a white guy each drink 3 beers at a bar, who pays the bill? They each pay for their own because men aren't complicated
  3. Why did the accordion player sell his instrument and switch to the drums? He wanted to play something less complicated.
  4. "Your case is quite complicated." Patient: Why doctor? What happened?
    Doc: You have a disease from the chapter I skipped during my studies.
  5. My job is sectioning and dehydrating organic materials. It may sound complicated, but it's actually cut and dry.
  6. Babies are like the total opposite of a complicated dinner recipe It's more fun to make one than it is to eat one.
  7. A lot of people think apartheid is a complicated issue But i think it's pretty black and white
  8. You know what I hate about how Avril Lavigne spells her name? She had to go and make things so complicated.
  9. Yesterday, I surveyed strangers and asked them which gender is more complicated. Half of the women are still answering.
  10. A Crossbow is like a Beautiful Woman It has a lot of complicated parts and if you handle them wrong it will snap and break your fingers.

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Most Complicated One Liners

Which most complicated one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with most complicated? I can suggest the ones about hardest and most sophisticated.

  1. What do you call complications during chidbirth A midwife crisis.
  2. How does Link from Legend of Zelda always die? Heart complications.
  3. You know, capitalism can be pretty complicated But communism? Everyone gets it
  4. Where do you learn to make complicated ice-cream dishes? Sundae school.
  5. I have a fear of over complicated industrial facilities It's a complex complex complex
  6. Why are cows so complicated? They've got a lot of mooing parts
  7. Girls are like pi. Irrational and complicated.
  8. Complex numbers are complicated. Please tell me I'm just imagining things.
  9. I made a gaffe about birth complications Well, that came out wrong.
  10. I'm in love with an 11 letter word that starts with c and ends with d It's complicated
  11. Are you a Rhesus Factor? Because you just complicated my pregnancy.
  12. How do you solve the complicated problem of euthanasia? Open up more schools over there
  13. When England exit a competition It's merely an Exit.. so much less complicated.
  14. I know someone who can do complicated math in their head It's mental.
  15. I tried to add 1 + 1 But it was two complicated for me.

Most Complicated Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about most complicated you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean toughest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make most complicated pranks.

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.

Life is too complicated in the morning.

Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.

Lately I've been trying to touch my toes, which I don't find so complicated, but my knees just can't get it straight.

Remember when "It's complicated" was a relationship status, not a gender?

Health care is too expensive, I went to the hospital for complications from my diabetes

And It cost me an arm and a leg.

Guy walks into a f**... home

He tells the receptionist, my wife is dying, and i need to buy a gravesite.
Receptionist says, sure, no problem. Just fill out this paperwork and we'll get the process started.
Guy says, well you should know up front this might get complicated. See, my wife weighs 800 pounds.
Ah, the receptionist says. The plot thickens.

Remembering a great icon.

Dear friends,
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join
me in remembering a great icon.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Cap'n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time
friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he -- even
still, as a crusty old man -- was considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no
tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The f**... was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.

Philosophy final

in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?

A woman pregnant with triplets gets shot

with three bullets to her w**.... Miraculously she and all her children survived. However, a bullet had embedded in each of the three children. The doctor decided it would be best to leave the bullets. A few months later she gives birth to two beautiful daughters and a son, with no health complication.
~~~13 years later ~~~
The mother had decided that it would be best for the children if she never told them about the shooting. One day when one of her daughters was using the washroom she peed out the bullet. She freaked out and ran to her mother, "Mom, mom I was just using the washroom and I peed out a bullet, what is going on?!" And the mom decided it was time to come clean. "I was shot 13 years ago, and a bullet has embedded in you and your brother and sister..." A few days later her other daughter comes running "Mom, mom I was just using the washroom and I peed out a bullet, what is going on?!" and the mother responded "I was shot 13 years ago, and a bullet has embedded in you and your brother and sister..." A few days, not to the mothers surprise her son came running "Mom, mom..." "Wait, let me guess , interrupted the mother, you were using the washroom and you peed out a bullet?" "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"

Talking to women

A newlywed man was talking with an old war veteran about what to excpect in his upcoming marriage. After talking about several different topics the veteran turns to the newlywed and says the most complicated thing that you will come across in marriage is communication. Puzzled the newlywed askes why that is so. The veteran explains by saying that talking to a woman is a lot like walking in a minefield. You hope its clear but you never know when you are going to set her off.

Did you hear the one about the mother who called all her 10 sons Anthony?

When someone told her that it's a complication she replied, "No it's not. It simplifies my life."
"How so?" she was asked.
"Simple" she replied, "When dinner's ready I just call Anthony and all of them come."
"But what do you do if you want to call the attention of one in particular?"
"I call him by his last name."

Needed: Eyelids

A baby is born with no eyelids. The doctors need a solution, and fast. The best solution, and the one they arrive at, is to use his f**... for his new eyelids. They successfully attach his f**... as eyelids, with only one complication. Now hes a little c**...-eyed.

Why doesn't Shirley Manson change her Facebook relationship status?

She's only happy when "It's Complicated."

A horse walks in to a bar

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender is also a horse. Everyone human is a horse now. Our lives are simultaneously more and less complicated.

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first scientist says, "I'll have some H20."
The second scientist says, "I'll have a glass of water, too, Wh.. why did you say H20? Like, I know it's the chemical formula for water and all. but it's the end of the day and there's really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work."
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.

It's complicated having s**... with hipsters.

They don't like things that are "in".

Discussing s**... harassment can be complicated.

It's a very touchy subject.

[text] The mechanic and the heart surgeon

A heart surgeon took his car to his local garage for a regular service, where he usually exchanged a little friendly banter with the owner, a skilled but not especially wealthy mechanic.
"So tell me," says the mechanic, "I've been wondering about what we both do for a living, and how much more you get paid than me.."
"Yes?.." says the surgeon.
"Well look at this," says the mechanic, as he worked on a big complicated engine, "I check how it's running, open it up, fix the valves, and put it all back together so it works good as new.. We basically do the same job don't we? And yet you are paid ten times what I am - how do you explain that?"
The surgeon thought for a moment, and smiling gently, replied,"Try it with the engine running.."

Rock, paper, scissors got complicated.

I was playing it with my deaf cousin, but then he started showing some new signs and I didn't know how to counter them.

Pete Carrol has kidney stone complications.

It should have been removed by surgery....
(wait for it)....
But he decided to try to pass it.

A man finds an old bottle. He starts rubbing off the dust...

... when a genie appears.
"You have one wish," says the genie.
"One wish? I thought it was three wishes," said the man.
"That's only in stories," replied the genie. "One wish is all you get."
"Well...", started the man, who was an American, "I've always wanted to go to Australia but I'm scared of flying. I wish for a bridge across the Pacific Ocean so I can drive there."
"I said wishes not miracles," replied the genie. "Do you have any idea how impossible that is? That would require the most complicated engineering design ever attempted. It would take all the world's resources for 100 years to build. Wish for something realistic."
"Ok," said the man, "I've never been able to understand women. I wish I could understand women."
"How many lanes would you like on your bridge?" said the genie.

Want to hear a broad generalization?

All women are complicated.

How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was.

Before I begin today's lecture

I'd like to relay an anecdote from my days as a student. My classmate and I both loved the same girl. In the end, she chose him and I was left with heartbreak. But my classmate was left with heart failure. Which brings me to today's subject: s**... and its complications.

An engineering dad joke

I asked my dad if his old Engineering textbooks were complicated and he said, "No, they are simple. They just open and close."

My son was born without eyelids...

The Dr suggested a new procedure using his f**... after circumcision to replace his missing lids. The only possible complication was that he would be a little c**...-eyed.

How do you now when somebody is r**... on Facebook?

Well, its complicated.

I dated a mime that was a mistress

Being t**... was a little complicated.

The Engineer's Trainee

So one day at a coin mint, an engineer who works there is taking a trainee for a tour and shows him how everything works. They approach the dollar-making machine. After explaining it, the Engineer says:
"Well, what do you think? Complicated?"
And the Trainee says:
"No, I completely understand it; it makes sense."
To which the Engineer replies:
"No, it makes dollars."

There were some complications with the birth of Micheal Phelps' baby...

Every time they brought him out he'd do a flip-turn and go back in.

You know what's wild, a person can die from complications from Alzheimer's.

Even Wilder, it's always in the Genes.

Interviewer: Name one of your accomplishments

Applicant:Well I discovered aliens, outside my house and managed to learn their language.
Interviewer:That seems rather complicated...
Applicant:Well Spanish isn't hard to learn sir.

2 scientists walk into a bar

the first one says: I´ll have a glass of H2O...
the second one says: i´ll have a glass of water too.... Wh... why did you say H2O ? Is there any reason to use the chemical formular outside the lab ?Doesn`t this just over-complicate things for no reason ? I really don´t think that was very smart...
the first scientists stares at his drink, angry, that his assassination plan has failed...

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him."Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out."To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he finally continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."

It is said that in geometry, the more dimensions you add, the more complicated it gets

I can confirm that the same is true for women.

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first scientist says "I'll have some H20."
 
The second scientist says "I'll have a glass of water, too. But really? Why did you say H20? Like I get that it is the chemical formula for water and all, but it is the end of a really stressful day at work and there's really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that when we are trying to wind down."
 
The first scientist stares into his drink, angry that his assassination attempt failed.

s**... RESULTS

s**... shouldn't result in pregnancy. If we were perfect beings, s**... would have two functions: for pleasure and to complicate friendships.

I have a complicated mental condition that relates to overly-elaborately designed facilities.

I have a complex complex complex complex.

A conductor asked me if I could help him drive a train...

I said, "yeah of course, how hard could it be?" Then I saw how complicated the control panel was. It was then that I realized that I may have bitten off more than I could choo.

Operation successful

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting a complicated surgery on him and.....
he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he spoke to his son-in-law.
'Yes, Dad, what is it?'
'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if something happens to me.........
........your mother in law will come and live with you.'
The surgery was a great success....

Physics saves lives

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."

An Englishman wants to transform into an Irish.

He inquires the expert doctor about alternatives.
**Doc**: "We will have to remove the right half of your brain."
**Patient**: "Alright. Let's go through with it."
(The next day, after the procedure...)
**Doc**: "There were serious complications during the operation.
We had to remove your entire brain. There is of course the option of installing a monkey brain."
**Patient**: "Non, non, non. -C'est magnifique!"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are busy with yet another complicated case.

Suddenly, Holmes seizes a chunk of blood-spattered limestone from the ground.
"What is it, Holmes?" asks Watson, eagerly.
Holmes turns and replies, gravely, "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson.

Doctor and the Patient

Dr.- your case is quite complicated.
Patient- why doctor? What has happened?
Dr.- You got a disease from the chapter which I left for option during my studies...

Restaurant Order

A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.
"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a p**... of very weak coffee, luke-warm."
"That's a complicated order, Sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult to prepare."
The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!!"

I used to be sesquipedally loquacious

I got bullied because I couldn't even explain that that meant I was talking all the time with big and overly complicated words.
That's when the e**... made physical contact with a hydro-electric powered oscillating air current distribution device.

Philosophers in 500B.C.: Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated

Philosophers in 400B.C.: The greatest wealth is to live content with little.
Philosophers in 1200: Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.
Philosophers in 1900: That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Philosophers in 2017: Would you like some drinks with that order?

Some people really don't understand what it means. to live simply.

I don't get it. It's not that complicated.

Scientists have decided to take a step back, and send less complicated messages to possible alien life.

"If the angle is 30 degrees, and the y-axis is 20 ft long, send n**...".

Einstein vs. Mr. Bean

The two were conversing.
Einstein challenged Mr. Bean, stating that if Bean couldn't answer Einstein's question, Bean would have to give him $1 as self-punishment.
Bean could also ask Einstein a question in return, and if the genius couldn't answer, he would have to give up $1000.
Einstein asked a very complicated question to which Bean had no answer.
Frustrated, Bean gave him a dollar. Now it was his turn.
B: "What animal has 4 legs, but only has 2 when he crosses the street, but 5 when he comes back?"
Stumped, Einstein gave him $1000.
E: "Good one. But tell me, what is this animal?"
Mr. Bean gave him a dollar.

With all of these Muslims coming into Canada

Racisim is suddenly a lot more complicated, it's not so black-and-white anymore.

I tried to write an article about the world's most complicated top

But I couldn't figure out how to spin it.

What do you call the fear of over complicated apartment buildings?

A complex complex complex.

My Mother-In-Law asked how Charles Manson died, and I responded, "Complications with dementia". To which she replied...

"I thought he was demented his whole life. Why is he having complications with it now??"

A mathematician a physicist and an engineer...

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a cow and told to find the volume. The mathematician carefully measured the dimensions of the cow and evaluated a very complicated integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the cow inside and measured the total displacement. The engineer looked at the cow and said, let's suppose the cow is a sphere.

Everybody makes race relations seem so complicated

But really the issue is pretty black and white

It's amazing how much has changed since the 80s

Back then we had a celebrity president with ultraconservative views and a cult following who was obsessed with a wall in the White House, a female Prime Minister with a complicated relationship with the EU and a total disregard for the poor of the country in Number Ten, the Russians were under a regime that made idols of their leaders, took part in mass espionage schemes and got involved in wars in Muslim Countries and we all lived in fear of Nuclear War.

Women are so complicated.

Even the anatomy of the v**... hole is too complicated for me to find.

I'm sick of these complicated Gillette 3 and 4 blade razors with vibrating heads, "cooling" technology, and pivoting heads etc...

...But I've always been a firm believer in Occam's razor.

A woman is pregnant with twins

but because of complications during labor, she passed out for about 24 hours after the birth. When she wakes up, she asks to see her children, excited to name them.
The doctor says sure, here they are, but your brother already named them.
What? she exclaims, what did he name them?
He named the girl, Denise, said the doctor.
Hmm, she says, I guess that's ok. I like Denise. What did he name my son?
Denephew.

Jacob never needed to set up that complicated plan to steal the blessing from Esau.

He could have just sneezed and let Issac say "bless you, Jacob."

Visit to the doctor

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot. 
My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said just think in colors; Fill your plate with bright colors; greens, yellows, reds, etc. 
I went right home and ate an entire bowl of M&M's and sure enough, I felt better immediately. I never knew eating right could be so easy.

We?

Husband comes out a very complicated surgery and tells his wife: Honey, the doctor said we can't have s**... for about 3 months.
The wife replies: What do you mean 'we'? YOU cant have s**... for 3 months...

I'm getting tired of my relationship with carbon isotopes -.- it's too complicated.

Time to give up carbon dating.

A son ask his dad to explain the difference between reality and fiction.

Dad: It's complicated but let me try to explain. Honey, would you sleep with the neighbor for 100,000$?
Mom: Yes of course because I know we need the money.
Dad: Very good. Alright now Tasha, would you have s**... with the neighbor's son for 200,000$?
Daughter: Yeah sure!
Dad: Perfect. So you see son, right now we would have 300,000 fictional dollars but in reality we have two w**... in this house.

Me as a doctor...

There was a complication so I replaced ur eye w/a mini magic 8 ball
Patient: Seriously?
*shake his head. All signs point to yes