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Mosquitos Jokes

35 mosquitos jokes and hilarious mosquitos puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mosquitos that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Mosquitos Short Jokes

Short mosquitos jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mosquitos humour may include short ants jokes also.

  1. I think my cholesterol might be too high, A mosquito bit me, grabbed it's little chest and keeled over.
  2. A mosquito bit Hillary Clinton the other day... It was later found to have hit itself in the back of the head with a fly swatter.
  3. I saw a mosquito flying over my head and i caught it Then, I took off its wings and I shouted to it "Go Fly!"
    but it didnt fly.
    Conclusion: Mosquitoes go deaf when you remove their wings
  4. What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber? You can't. A mosquito is a vector, but a rock climber is a scalar.
  5. I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. "Something that buzzes and is guaranteed to drive me crazy" she replied.
    So I bought her a pet mosquito.
  6. What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing! You can't cross a vector with a scaler.
    (Great math joke that came up in Calculus the other day)
  7. Knock knock Who's there?
    Amos.
    Amos who?
    A mosquito.
    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Ana.
    Ana who?
    Another mosquito.
    My dad died last year. These were the only two jokes he knew.
  8. What Africa Really needs If only Africa had more mosquito nets
    Then every year we could save millions
    Of mosquitos from dying needless from aids
    \- Jimmy Carr
  9. During the summer a local police station developed a mosquito problem They deployed the swat team.
  10. Mosquito bites nowadays can cause concussion yesterday, one of them bit my friend in his head, but fortunately I was able to kill it with a shovel

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Mosquitos One Liners

Which mosquitos one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mosquitos? I can suggest the ones about insect and midge.

  1. *tips fedora at mosquito* M'laria
  2. What do you call a mosquito sitting on your wife's cheek? A golden opportunity
  3. Mosquito bit me 8 times. Mosquito byte.
  4. A Mosquito landed on my wife's face... Easiest decision of my life..
  5. What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora? M'laria
  6. Did you hear about the mosquito comedian? He was malarious.
  7. What does the neckbeard mosquito say to the female mosquito? M'laria
  8. I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Now he'll never have any friends.
  9. What is a benefit of parkinson's disease? Mosquitoes don't bite you
  10. I love being a mosquito... People always clap when I'm around!
  11. What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you? M'laria.
  12. What do you call a crazy guy in a room full of mosquitoes? A bit neurotic.
  13. I went fishing with my new tackle and got plenty of bites. trout?
    No, mosquitoes.
  14. Beggars are like mosquitos... You hope for cold weather, so they will stop bothering you.
  15. What do you call a funny mosquito? Malarious

Mosquitos joke, What do you call a funny mosquito?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about mosquitos can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of mosquitos puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheeky Mosquitos Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about mosquitos you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean mosquito jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make mosquitos prank.

What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

your mom doesn't stop s**... when I s**... her

Confucius Say

It is only when a mosquito lands on your t**... that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence.

It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home.

When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?"
The baby mosquito replied, "It went great, everyone was clapping for me!"

Whats the difference between a b**... slavegirl, and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops s**... if you slap it.

Wife asked me what am I doing

Me: Killing Mosquitos
Wife: How many have you killed?
Me: Total 5. 2 Female and 3 Male
Wife: How did you know their gender?
Me: Three were near my beer bottle and two near my wallet

The fly and me

I'm translating this joke from my native language so I'm hoping its just as funny in English.
The other night I saw a mosquito in my room. I kept trying to catch it till I caught it in a corner, ready to end its life, when all of a sudden it turned around and said "Wait! Surely you won't kill your own family!", I stopped in my tracks and stared at the mosquito thinking what it meant. Then I realised the mosquito wasn't lying... My blood was coursing through its veins

I have a lot of females s**... on me.

Unfortunately all of them are mosquitoes.

I am not a sexist but...

female mosquitos don't belong in a workplace. They the s**... the life right out of you.

Ladies and gentlemen

Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps
crosseyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants
I've come to tell you a lie that is true.
One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys rose up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other
Pulled out knives and shot each other.
Two deaf policemen heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Mosquitos joke, Ladies and gentlemen

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these mosquitos jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.